Too much Sex? (slightly mature discussion)

[James P. Galvatron]

[QUOTE=vegeta rocker]well there are other parts to our relationship. We go out and we just love spending time with each other. I was just wondering if it was odd.

He is also my first boyfriend as well, even though i am 19. I am very in love with him but he says he doesn't love me anymore. He says he cares about me a lot but that he just doesn't love me the way he used to.

When we started having sex however we were both in love with each other. That is something i am glad about. I can say that my first time was a great experience and that i am happy about who it happened with.[/QUOTE]


After seeing what you typed I have a few questions he's your first bf at 19 amazing and its even more amazing you lasted that long.

But the main question is why stay with him if he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him seems to me the only thing keeping him really in the relationship is sex and if something was to happen he would most likely leave you alone.

[Guest Vampire_Nursery]

[QUOTE=vegeta rocker]i have an honest question, is there such a thing as too much sex?

My boyfriend and i have lately had this problem. It's gotten to the point that if we have enough time and we are laying in a bed it's gonna happen. And we lay in bed alot. I think we had sex 6 times last week. Thats in about 3 days. I sometimes tell myself that we will go a week. But it never happens.

Don't laugh, its silly i know but i was just wondering if anyone else has this problem. I mean its not like its interfering with our lives or anything. I just love him soo much.
I'm not saying you need sex if you are in love but it sure presses things along.

Alright so blast me with some much needed opinions to these questions:

1. Are we having too much sex?

2. If so, is it bad for our relationship? ( keep in mind we are each others first so we are still kind of reveling ion the novelty of it.)

3. Should people only have sex if they are in love?

4. Should i try and cut down?[/QUOTE]


lol! thats not a problem

[Lunai]

[font=century gothic][size=2][color=mediumblue]I feel inclined to say that everyone who is stating "there is no such thing as too much sex" have obviously never encountered this in a relationship.

In my past relationship, my boyfriend would randomly decide that we needed to take a break from sex. It would drive me insane at the time, but looking back I understand that he was afraid that our relationship would deteriorate into nothing but sex.

In my current relationship, I worry more about asking for sex too much. I have a pretty high libido and feel self conscious when I ask for sex more than once to twice a week. But I feel a lot more stable in this relationship, and there is so much going on outside of sex, that I know that isn't what it's all about.

My advice. Slow down. See if you can. And try and talk it out.[/font][/color][/size]

[vegeta rocker]

i can deal with the fact that he says he doesn't love me. He was my best friend for a while and now he is more. But he is notorious for not being able to make up his mind. The thing is i am usually the one who i nstigates the saex.

I don't think he would leave me if we stopped having sex. We dated for months without it. I think our relationship can stand without it. We are both in the same college or video and digital media so we have plenty to talk about. I asked him what his fav part of our relationship was and he said definetly our conversations. He loves how we can talk about totally innane things then get all technical about out industry.

After reading some of these replies (especially solo tremains) i will try and cut down the sex and try and strengthen the emotional bond. We are just so busy it is hard to find time for us to do stuff. So i will just replace the time we spend having sex with other stuff. I guess more conversations and gaming.

In all honesty, i think he still loves me and won't admit it. I think he is just afraid i will hurt him.

[James]

[font=franklin gothic medium][color=#808080]I think the point is, none of us can set an artificial limit. Nobody can tell you you're having too much or too little sex. That's [i]your[/i] decision to make.

If you are uncomfortable with the amount of sex you're having (regardless of the reason), then obviously you [b]are[/b] having too much. It's as simple as that.

Sex shouldn't be forced; don't do it out of obligation. Do it because you want to do it. If you both want to, then there's no problem - the problem is when one (or both) of you is having doubts. And clearly, in that situation, you have to consider what the reason is and see what you can do about it.

Despite your posts I'm still not quite sure what you are wanting to do here. Are you wanting to slow down so that you can develop a more emotional bond between the two of you? I mean, so that he [i]will[/i] love you? Or do you feel that too much sex is hurting the relationship because you spend no time doing other things?

Again, if that's the case, it's very easy to fix. You don't need a lot of time to do something else. You don't need to go out and do elaborate things all the time; there's nothing wrong with having a conversation over dinner, or watching a film together, or something like that. Usually it's those little things that help to build bonds in a relationship anyway. ^_^[/color][/font]

[sbrebaby]

I just want to say that you and your partner are the only ones who can desied if you are haveing to much. Alot of people will tell you so many things to reason you out but in the end you need to make that dision and nobody else. If you e\want to know if he loves you or not have a very serious conversation, and dont beat around the bush. and let him know how youfeel and mabey he will understand about the way yoiu feel. like i said its up to the both of you to make that dision. so talk. the best way to understand eachother is to communicate. My relationship was ruined because of that. He is still my one true love even though we hate eachother now. Dont end up like me and be smart. its up to you. :animesmil

[sbrebaby]

[QUOTE=Solo Tremaine][COLOR=#503F86]At fifteen you should not have been married, even in Nebraska. Whether it happened or not something isn't right there. The minimum age with parental consent is seventeen for men and women. Without it's 19. So it wouldn't have been a legal marriage, if anything.

We went to a jude and we had the didtrict atternoy or who ever to marrie us. And at the time we were aloud special sercamstanses. so yes we did get married and it was in Nabrask/ :animecry:

[Gelgoog Pilot]

[QUOTE=Solo Tremaine][COLOR=#503F86]At fifteen you should not have been married, even in Nebraska. Whether it happened or not something isn't right there. The minimum age with parental consent is seventeen for men and women. Without it's 19. So it wouldn't have been a legal marriage, if anything.

But even so, there's 'too much sex' and 'sex too soon', which is a fundemental difference between the two situations. It's not as if any amount of sex will get you more pregnant- once is enough.

But anyway, I didn't really answer the questions in my last post.

1. I would say yes. But a lot of couples, when they first get together have sex very often. It's not unusual. You just need to remember that it has to be purposeful, otherwise it loses its meaning.

2. Yes and no. While sex can strengthen a physical bond, if you have it too often it can desensitise you to how much it actually means. Whereas the first time might have been something incredibly special, doing it over and over again becomes just plain sex.

3. I would say so, but really it's up to the people who are going to have sex. If it's a mutual itch that both want scratching, then fine. If not, I wouldn't force either one into it.

4. I think so. Just be firm with yourself (and him)- the longer you leave it between times, the more enjoyable it'll be the next time you do.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Actually without consent it's 18...My cousin is getting married in two monts...which will be 3 months after she turns 18 and trust me...the parents DO NOT consent to this guy...hell even I don't he's a douche.

[James]

[font=franklin gothic medium][color=#808080]shrebaby, please don't double post. And please watch your post quality - your posts are incredibly difficult to read. It wouldn't hurt to take more care with things like spelling.

Please read the rules if you wish to continue posting here (you can find them on the left navigation menu).[/color][/font]

[shinji172]

I wouldnt know first hand (what with me being underage) but in my opinion, the fact that you are asking us if your having too much sex means you are probably having too much and should cut down (even by just a little). I would just try to strengthen the relationship through other passtimes. You mentioned that you both enjoy your conversations- thats the best place to start.

Personally, I think sex should be reserved for people in love (although thats how i was raised :animeswea ). If you become sure that he doesnt love you then you should stick to being very good friends.

One more thing (this is aimed at anyone), [B]BE CAREFULL![/B] Lots of things can go wrong after just once at the wrong time with the wrong person. Only do It if your both sure about the decision.

[Box Hoy]

Well unless the guy is feeling like a piece of meat being used to pleasure you than I say there's nothing wrong. Sure you may think you're having too much but just remember there are people out there who selll themselves for sex. Think about them and just remember that you don't ever wanna be doin it as much as them.

[Gelgoog Pilot]

[quote name='Box Hoy']Well unless the guy is feeling like a piece of meat being used to pleasure you than I say there's nothing wrong. Sure you may think you're having too much but just remember there are people out there who selll themselves for sex. Think about them and just remember that you don't ever wanna be doin it as much as them.[/quote]
You basically have no point on this issue do you?

"Please! Think of the hookers!" That's all I got from you. :animestun

[Juke Box Hero]

[QUOTE=Gelgoog Pilot]That is the most retarded answer you could give someone...Of course you can...its all about repitition. If you keep friggin playing the same game over and over you tend to get bored with it. Same can be said about any actions (take work for example), it seems everything is good with moderation.

Also I'd like to go along with what the others said, if the person thinks there maybe too much going on...then she's obviously not comfortable with it. Another way you can have too much sex. I'm sure I would be comfortable with doing it twice everyday or some outrageous thing like that...because...I'd get burnt out, and that's a lot of pressure on someone.[/QUOTE]


Kindly learn to recognize sarcasm before you call [i]me[/i] retarded. Perhaps you could try googling it. Such a pity voice tone can't be recognized on message boards.

[James P. Galvatron]

[QUOTE=Lunai][font=century gothic][size=2][color=mediumblue]I feel inclined to say that everyone who is stating "there is no such thing as too much sex" have obviously never encountered this in a relationship.

In my past relationship, my boyfriend would randomly decide that we needed to take a break from sex. It would drive me insane at the time, but looking back I understand that he was afraid that our relationship would deteriorate into nothing but sex.

In my current relationship, I worry more about asking for sex too much. I have a pretty high libido and feel self conscious when I ask for sex more than once to twice a week. But I feel a lot more stable in this relationship, and there is so much going on outside of sex, that I know that isn't what it's all about.

My advice. Slow down. See if you can. And try and talk it out.[/font][/color][/size][/QUOTE]

For wat you said there should be no reason for you to be self conscious about asking that I mean most guys would kind of be okay with it if there gf asked them that I mean there are some guys who rarely get it once a week and some got out with a girl for 10 months and barely get to 3rd base. So there is no reason you should feel akward about that.

[Raiyuu]

[quote name='Raid3r] Kindly learn to recognize sarcasm before you call [i]me[/i'] retarded. Perhaps you could try googling it. Such a pity voice tone can't be recognized on message boards.[/quote]
[color=DarkGreen][size=1]You were being [i]sarcastic? [/i]The girl's clearly having an emotional dilemma, has opened up to the Boards and you felt the best response to her request for advice was [i]sarcasm? [/i]Have some tact. Maybe you could Google it.

I thought this was pretty open and shut until I read that a) he says he doesn't love you and b) it's usually you that instigates. I'm hardly the expert on these matters but it sounds like you're using sex as a way of trying to confirm your love for him; showing him that you still feel that way in the hope that he'll realise and start to reciprocate.

I think that, like in almost every relationship problem, the key is going to be communication. Go out to dinner and chew the fat until you can tell where you both stand. You need to know whether there's any way he'll ever love you again, because if there isn't, then you're heading into a one-sided relationship, and those just aren't healthy. I know it's hard to even consider the end of a first relationship, but if you're going to continue adoring an unresponsive partner forever, all you're going to get is heartbroken.
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