Writing Untitled [Pg13- L]

[Aura_Star]

OOC: This is the first chapter of a story I'm writing over the summer. I hope to finsh it before school starts and enter it in a writing contest by winter. I'd like creative critism so that I can improve the wrriting and story. Thanks to all who read this story and I hope you all enjoy it. If anyone as an idea for the title let me know, I have one in my mind but its just boncing around right now. I haven't decided yet. If I don't get any good ideas thatr's what it might end up being.

IC:
[U]Chapter 1[/U]

[B]Beep, Beep, Beep, Be-lp[/B]
A lightly-tanned hand reached out and slammed on the snooze button, knocking it down of the dark-blue bedside table.
?Dang it!? A voice from beneath the star-covered sheet muttered. A blonde head poked out from under the cover and looked at the glowing red numbers on the clock, the effort was wasted though by a shout form downstairs.
?Hikaru, I hate to disturb your beauty sleep because, you decently need it, but it?s going on 7:40 and in case you school starts at eight o?clock. Oh, and I won?t be driving you to school either.?
?You?re such a loving father!? Hikaru shouted back as she scrambled out of bed and kicked the clock under her bed.

Downstairs a man with a gentle face surrounded by long brown locks of hair chuckled as he heard the constant running upstairs in his daughter?s room. Five minutes later, Hikaru emerged fully dressed, though rather sloppy, in her school attire, a plain deep gray skirt and white T-shirt. She grabbed a piece of toast and chewed on it while speaking to her father, ?Why can?t, munch, you take me, munch munch, to school??
?I have an interview this morning, at . . . ? Looking toward the wall clock he frowns and grabs his black helmet on the table, ?8:15. Well look at the time, TTFN!?
?Talk about me being late.? She grabbed another piece of toast from the plate on the counter and decided to grab the last piece, Waste not, want not. Hikaru raced out of the door just in time to see her father zoom of on his yellow and black motorbike, laughing as he headed in the direction of her school, Sumei High School. She threw her backpack on the ground as she pulled on her clear jacket with an angered expression on her face.
?Dang You! You did that on purpose! I hope you get in an accident and die!? Hikaru shouted after him even though he was long gone.

She sighed and picked her backpack up and put in back on. Taking a deep breath she thought, This is no way to start the first day of high school. Hearing a bell in the distance, Hikaru toke off, running in the direction of her school. In a few short minutes she reached the schools gates with her backpack still thumping against her back. A loud bell chimed four times as Hikaru caught her breath only to loose it again when someone snuck up on her and whispered in her ear, ?7:55 bell.?
Hikaru jumped and turned to see one of her only friends standing behind her with a grin that was filled with sparkling white teeth.
?Hanna! You got you braces off! Why didn?t you tell me?? Hikaru said cheerfully as she embraced her friend.
?One you don?t care and two you were gone all summer.?
?I do to care and my dad toke me to the coast this summer. We stayed at his girlfriend?s condo.?
?The one with the annoying dog??
?Yup.?
?I thought you hated her and I quote, ?I hate that stupid slut! I?ll never go anywhere with that arrogant woman.??
?Yes I said that, but still she is nice once you get to know her.?
?What she buy you??
?Nothing!? Hanna smirked at that and rolled her eyes.

Hikaru then sighed and grabbed her friend?s hand leading her away from the gate and into the building which smelled of new textbooks and freshly wax floors. All over the school friends were reunited with squeals and hugs, chatter filled the air as the reminisced in old memories and new stories about the things they had done over the summer and the guys they had met. Hanna removed her hand from Hikaru?s and walked beside her. Hikaru soon became entranced by the flow of the stories that she didn?t notice the person who was in front of her until she ran into them.
?Oh I?m so sorry! I wasn?t watching were I was going.? She smiled at the person.
?No it?s my fault I shouldn?t of been standing in the middle of the hall.? The sweet and attractive male voice caused Hikaru?s eyes to jump to him face. Reji! Oh my gawd! His head reached out to caress her face and Hikaru just stood in awe.
?Are you okay??
Hiakru stood still feeling her face turn red as his intense chocolate brown stared at her.
?Uh-ng.?
?Do you want to go somewhere more private?? He grinned flashing his pearl white teeth. She shook her head and moved her loose hair behind her ear and smiled back at him.
?Okay, see you later then, Seri.?

Reji turned back towards his friend and began talking again. At the mention of the name Hikaru?s jaw dropped and her face turned a bright red. Snickering came from behind her and she turned snapping, ?Oh, shut up!?
Hanna smirked and spoke slyly, ?Your so into him.?
?Along with half the other girls in the school.?
?So you admit that you like him.?
?You like him too.?
?Actually no, he?s not my type.?

Now it was Hikaru?s chance to role her eyes. They looked at each other and began laughing as they entered their new classroom. Desks were placed in perfect rows completed with the large mass of girls in grey skirts and boys in black pants. All wore white shirts of some kind: blouses, tee shirts, tanks with jacket, and dress shirts. Hikaru?s eyes scanned the room looking for the teacher. None was in sight, as the bell rang loudly students fled to desks next to their friends in the back. Hikaru calmly moved up to the front of the room and sat in the desk next to the window in the front. Hanna sat diagonal from her and placed her head on the her desk taking in the fresh scent of the desk. There was an empty seat next to Hikaru and behind her, but the one behind her was soon filled. The smell of cologne was familiar and Hikaru turned to see who was sitting in the desk behind her.
?Re..ji!? Hikaru gasped in shock.
?Yep, that?s my name. You know were the teacher is??
?No, sorry. Why do care anyway?? Hikaru turned and hit her head with her palm, [I]Stupid! Now is not the time to be a smart-ass! [/I]
?Neat, I like a girl with attitude. The teacher?s new though. At least I think she is. Never heard her name before.?
?Oh.?

Hikaru looked away and down as she turned a bright red.[I] Great now he probley thinks I'm some kind of freak.[/I] She sighed deeply into her arm as she layied them on the desk and propped her forehead on them. Her eyes went to the window and she watched as cars drove by on the street outside and a brid began to make a nest in the tree outside the window. [I]That's going to be annoying[/I], she thought as she turned her head back to the front of the class.

OOC: Thanks again for reading and please give me your opinion!!

[Umbra II]

I like the story so far. Its well written, with school humor, and the charactors are well made. I still haven't pegged the genre yet. Is it as it appears to be, a romance/humor,or is it going to take a twist, like from Inu-yasha? Or would that spoil it? Anyway, for either paths, it seems like its going to be preety good.

[Aura_Star]

Thanks so much for your comment! The genre is a more action/humor, but I haven't gotten to the action yet. It will most likely come in around chapter 2 or 3. There will be some love issues later on and some tragic drama. I hope to finsh with ch.2 by friday and either edit this post and put it up or if someone else comments I'll post it. Either way it will be up. THanks again for the comment. :animesmil