Ellven'and Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 [COLOR=DeepSkyBlue][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][I][CENTER]Bobby James came home; He toted nothing, said nothing. Mother saw him and smiled: A sinister, sadistic curl of the lips. Bobby gave her a strange look. Mother owned a gun... Bang. Father had been out working; He heard not of this, saw not his son. Mother saw him and cooked: A delicious, satisfying meal. Father pulled something from his mouth. Mother disposed of them... Bones. One week passed; Father was worried, Mother was not. Father asked about his son: Questions that would seem normal. Mother picked at her fingers. Father looked into her eyes... Guilt. Father took her in; She was questioned, asked about Bobby. She told them nothing: Answers did not cross her lips. They went home that night. Mother got her gun... Bang. Another week passed; The neighbors came over for dinner. Mother greeted them and cooked: A delicious, satisfying meal. The neighbors thanked her for the meal. They handed her the plates... Fridge. The door swung open; Oddities beyond recognition were within. Mother tried to hide it: The ghastly scene of death. The neighbors turned her in. Mother paid dearly... Death. Their house was sold; Years passed, nothing happened. The family's son was born: Bobby James was his name. They lived peacefully. Nothing too strange... Kitchen. Bobby James came home; He toted nothing, said nothing. Mother saw him and smiled: A sinister, sadistic curl of the lips. Bobby gave her a strange look. Mother owned a gun... Bang.[/CENTER][/I][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra II Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 Good. Creepy, but good. I liked how it loops at the end, setting the whole thing off agian. I can't really fix the structure, since it doesn't rhyme and I can't put my finger on the rythem. But excellent poem nonetheless. I can't really critize this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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