Writing A sample of my work on DBZ/YYH team-up fic(M,V,L)

[Dragonboym2]

[COLOR=Blue]I've been working on this team-up fan fac for a long time. DBZ, DBGT, and YYH are some of my favorite animes. However, I've been practicing my writing skills for a while, and I havn't really found a place to start that I was happy with. I got some basic stuff down, but there is still room for improvment, and such. Not to mention studing the characters, places, and things in both shows. Whenever I get a good idea for a scene, I write it down. The other day, I was thinking of a fight between Vegeta and a villian called Rai. It's not the entire fight, because I'm still outlining everything. Here it is: [/COLOR]

Rai couldn't belive what he just saw. After a blast that strong, Vegeta still had the strength to get up. Most people are bloody toothpicks and scraps of flesh when he is done with this attack. But Vegeta, was not dead at all. Rai's eyes widened in anger and horror. "Why.." He stammered. "WHY..WHY.. CAN'T.. YOU.. JUST.. DIE!?!" Vegeta dusted himself off, and stood there, triumphetly. "Is it because your stupid?" Vegeta asked mocking Rai. Rai dived off the jagged clif, heading straight for him. Vegeta smirked. "Let me show you a effective attack." He stuck out his arm, the palm of his hand facing Rai. "FINAL FLASH!" A beam of energy came out of Vegeta's left hand and struck Rai in the shoulder, severing his arm. Rai screamed, and blue blood sprayed from his wound, and Rai fell in heap in front of Vegeta. "You learned a hard lesson." Vegeta said. "You don't fuck with the Prince Of all Sayins!" Vegeta turned to walk away, when Rai slowly turned his head toward him. "Please.." Rai begged, blood oozing from his pale blue lips. Vegeta turned. "Hmm?"
"P..Please.."
"Please what?"
"P..P..please..Vegeta..."
Vegeta put a hand up to his ear. "Hmm? Speak up! Can't hear you."
"Please..Vegeta..y-y-you win..Please..show..some.. mercy.."
Vegeta put a hand up to his face in mock thought. "Hmmm...No."
With that, Vegeta plunged his gloved fist right into Rai's skull, splattering blood, bone, and brain matter. Vegeta withdrew his blood drenched hand from what was left of Rai's skull, and smiled to himself. "Fucker."
[COLOR=Blue]
What you think? As soon as I finish DBZ/YYH I'll put it up. Thanks again.
"KAMEHAMEHA!"

Dragonboym2 [/COLOR]