Writing Tainted {PG}

[Persona]

[COLOR=DarkRed][CENTER][B]Tainted Rose[/B]

[I]Only a vision of beauty?is what they all adore.
Darkness and insanity? they choose to ignore.

Just like a rose?my beauty will fade.
Leaving me with nothing but shades of gray.

Drifting away from an empty shell.
Lifeless inside?but no one could tell.

Just like a rose?my heart will break.
Leaving nothing for you to take?

Just like a rose?I?ll entirely fade
Leaving you memories of nothing but pain.[/I][/CENTER][/COLOR]


[COLOR=DarkRed]By: T.R


[SIZE=1][B]Author's Note:[/B] Alright this is actually the first poem ever that rhymed in my collections of poetry. So be modest...I would really appreciate that. This poem of course was inspired by my new user name. It took about 6 minutes to type it and 30 minutes to review it to make sure everything was where it was suppose to be.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Kamuro]

[SIZE=1]How delightfully morbid, I like it. Although it's inspired by a mere username it does show passion and a talent for writing. My stuff doesn't usually rhyme either and I can tell it's something new to you. However, I don't believe it takes down the poem as much as you might've thought. It's short, I would've liked to see it drawn out a bit more. The ending was good, I just would've liked a little more to grab onto while reading the poem. However, I love roses and whenever I see them used in poetry I just can't help but love the poem as well lol. It's such a good subject and a great contrast to life and how a lot of us feel sometimes. It's good and I enjoyed reading it a lot.[/SIZE]

[So-Seductive]

Wow that was good mamas :catgirl: you are talented

[Persona]

Thank you very much Kamuro for your detailed comment upon my poem. I do agree about it being longer and more grasping to the readers. And for my girl, thank you hon ^.^.

[Goodbye, Face]

It's amazing. A lot of people seem to take away from their work when they rhyme, but that was beautiful, if not dark and "morbid." If this is you when you're new at rhyming, I'd like to see some of your work when you aren't rhyming.

[demonchild781]

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Stunning. Though I'm not keen on the whole rhyming thing for most poetry because it does tend to lose its value, but I have to say this poem was amazing. I love the analogy with the rose and, personally, I think the length is what made this poem. It allows the reader to put in their own pieces and make it a poem that touches them too.

Hope I wasn't too rude with my comment.
DC[/FONT]

[demonslovehurts]

I loved it!!Ver nicely put and all...sorry short but,I do really love this poem.

[Persona]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkRed][QUOTE]RiflesAtRecess

It's amazing. A lot of people seem to take away from their work when they rhyme, but that was beautiful, if not dark and "morbid." If this is you when you're new at rhyming, I'd like to see some of your work when you aren't rhyming.[/QUOTE]

I humbly thank you very much for your constructive criticisim/comment ^.^. Well to tell the truth, I had the fisrt to lines stuck in my head before I'd gotten the idea "Tainted Rose" for a username. To me it seemed catchy and a dratic change from my former username, the two liner actually captivated me and I wouldn't rest until I could think of a way to write out the poem. At first I didin't want to ryme...just wasn't my style, but I wanted to try something new and I guessed it worked ^.^. Plus I shall post my non-rhyming poetry here soon.



[QUOTE]demonchild781

Stunning. Though I'm not keen on the whole rhyming thing for most poetry because it does tend to lose its value, but I have to say this poem was amazing. I love the analogy with the rose and, personally, I think the length is what made this poem. It allows the reader to put in their own pieces and make it a poem that touches them too.

Hope I wasn't too rude with my comment.
DC[/QUOTE]

I'm glad I was able to use the rose as a simily to a persons life. About the length; I didin't like the poem once it was finished, due to the fact of it being short. But when I read it repeatidly it liked it myself :catgirl: . Furthermore, your commnet wasn't rude at all.

[QUOTE]demonslovehurts

I loved it!!Ver nicely put and all...sorry short but,I do really love this poem.[/QUOTE]


Thank you very much :catgirl: [/COLOR] [/FONT]