What do you do when you have no where to go?

[Akieen Cloud]

Okay, so I just need peeps to consult me here.

I'm am at my last thread with something here, and it's my fieance'.

I am pregnant with a person who had posted on these boards, cain Exodus...I am going to have his son. Now here's what the problem is and mybe some of you older posters, more wuser then me can comfort me here, becasue I feel like some of the best advice ever given is from friends, and well, I feel like I can trust people here becaue your all honset.
So, here's the whole story....


He had to go to raliegh NC for a test to get into the Navy, he passed with flying colors and I'm proud of him, I told him that too. Well I noticed he was acting weird he didn't say anyhting just that he was tired. Well we've had more arguments then normal since he got home from then, and well, I finally got so annoyed with it I told him he was acting like he was hideing something from me, like he was starting to like someone or maybe even love someone else....

Now to understand all this you have to know, we are two states away, I had to move to west virgina from north carolina, familt problems, and he said that he would wait and help take care of the baby....

Now on with the story, I asked him if he was starting to like or love someone else, he said "I dunno"
he met a girl when he went to take this test and grew to like her. But the thing is, he never acted on them. He's always severed ties with a gril that he felt would get in the way of us...but this time he didn't, he called her and talk to her behind my back.....And now hw says he loves her after knowing her for a week and a half, we've known each other basicly since the ninth grace and have been dateing for nearly two, Oct.20 would be two years....and he's walking away from me to go to her and he says he doenst think it's gonna last long...but why would he want to rixk losing his son for a girl he just met when we've been together all this time....

Look everyone, I know I sound like a pathetic fool, but I love him so much, I love him to the point I'd do anything to try and keep him with me...I wanna hold onto him for as long as I can and He ALWAYS told me that he felt the same...he gave me his word...But now he doesn't seem to care, and it's killing me....and the baby...i think things that scare me and I wanna scream. I just need some help here, ANY advice would be MORE then wlecomed...and for all you out there who think he needs a good trash talking through PM...please, be my guest...I can't be mad at him, dont' ask me why...so it any of you who think you could be mad at him for me please do. But I need help with what I'm feeling and how to coupe with it....becasue I'm not I mean NOT doing a good job...I just, I need a pick me up and maybe you guys can give it to me....So any advice, from guys or girls, guys give good advice too...ANY advice what so ever, please lemme know, any world of comfort, I'd be very thankful...
Love you all, and thank you for having the patience to help a fool....

[Juke Box Hero]

[quote name='Lyuann']I am pregnant with a person[/quote]

Thank the Lord! I only read "I am pregnant with", and I assumed it was a troll... thanks for putting my mind at ease.

[Raiyuu]

[font=Trebuchet MS]That [b]isn't [/b]the kind of comment that's required here, Juke Box Hero. I'm sure you wouldn't like people to be sarcastic at you when your bared your personal problems.

Having said that, this is the risk you run by baring your personal problems in such a public place, Lyuann.
[/font]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='Lyuann']Look everyone, I know I sound like a pathetic fool[/quote]


You are in no way pathetic. Whoever your dating is the pathetic fickle one. People like that make me sick. This is a tough one to resolve. My dad went through the same thing with my mom who has been married with him for 15 years, and all of a sudden she likes some 22 year old. My parents almost split up, but when my dad was on the brink of breaking down, they resolved their problems. My dad is still very suspiscious of her, but they'll work it out.

PS: Juke Box Hero, thats just disgusting.

[ChemAngel]

what words could I possibly say that will make you feel better?

I believe that things happen for a reason and perhaps there is a reason to this.

maybe, this will make the two of you stronger as a couple if he does decide to go back to you.

or perhaps maybe being apart will help you gain the strenght that you need to raise your child in a good way

or maybe he just wasn't ment for you. If he isn't ment for you, you should be relieved that it happened early on in your life...instead of later on. Because if he IS seeing other people, despite having an expected child with you....then there would be no guarentee that he would not do the same thing if the two of you should have married.

Perhaps, it is better that he did this to you now...while you still have the support of you parents...then if he would have done this to you at a later time....perhaps when your parents could not help and you would have been truly left alone.

Either way....you need to ask the father to support his own child and give you the money you need. He cannot simply leave you to fend by yourself financially (it did take two to tango)

I just want you to know what you DO have. A supporting family and a beautiful and healthy soon-to-be-child
I'll be praying that you have the courage to do what is right...and to have the strength to continue fighting for whatever it is that is coming your way.

[Retribution]

[QUOTE=ChemAngel]what words could I possibly say that will make you feel better?

I believe that things happen for a reason and perhaps there is a reason to this.

maybe, this will make the two of you stronger as a couple if he does decide to go back to you.

or perhaps maybe being apart will help you gain the strenght that you need to raise your child in a good way

or maybe he just wasn't ment for you. If he isn't ment for you, you should be relieved that it happened early on in your life...instead of later on. Because if he IS seeing other people, despite having an expected child with you....then there would be no guarentee that he would not do the same thing if the two of you should have married.

Perhaps, it is better that he did this to you now...while you still have the support of you parents...then if he would have done this to you at a later time....perhaps when your parents could not help and you would have been truly left alone.

Either way....you need to ask the father to support his own child and give you the money you need. He cannot simply leave you to fend by yourself financially (it did take two to tango)

I just want you to know what you DO have. A supporting family and a beautiful and healthy soon-to-be-child
I'll be praying that you have the courage to do what is right...and to have the strength to continue fighting for whatever it is that is coming your way.[/QUOTE]
[SIZE=1]Very well said, ChemAngel.

I believe that you should try to factor him out of the equation, instead of helplessly hoping he will come back. If he ditched you, a very good friend and fiance for some vague aquaintance, you shouldn't marry him. As previously stated, what makes you think that this won't happen again later on?

Make him pay you child support, and if he refuses, take him to court. You should be able to win, as it's (generally, I think) the law. Count your blessings, even when they seem few and far between. Confide in friends and family, they're there to support you. Most of all, use this adversity to make you as both a person and a mother stronger.

Best of luck to you.[/SIZE]

[Morpheus]

Yes, you must pay a certain amount of Child Support (based on income) monthly.

Don't hold on to him for any reason. Staying with someone for years trying to make them love you is impossible. The guy being an impulsive idiot doesn't help.

"he was starting to like someone" is exactly right. He saw someone he feels more appealing than you and pounced(pardon the expression) on the opportunity. He knows things about you he doesn't know about her, which is why he likes her. He's seen nothing but good from her but has seen your ups and your downs. He has convinced himself that she has no problems or issues and feels he loves her.

This is the point where he should talk to you and tell you about her, that he had dinner or something. But, instead, thinks ending the relationship immediately and pursue her. Here we enter "lust". He lusts for her the same way a pubescent boy lusts for girls. He comepletely avoids the girls definate downsides and acts like she is the Holy Grail. In a while, he will come back down to Earth and realize she has flaws.

[Delta]

[COLOR=Peru][SIZE=1][quote name='Morpheus']He saw someone he feels more appealing than you and pounced(pardon the expression) on the opportunity.[/quote]Yep, your man's a frisky tomcat.

I appreciate the fact that he was fairly honest about this issue; must have been hard for him to break it to you gently. You say you love him too much that you'll try anything to keep him with you and he said the same thing to you. People change, love (though his was a bit of the destructive and painful sort). He already has so maybe it's time for you to move on.

Gotta be as tough as nails, girl! Being the superficial woman that I am, I suggest you go get a makeover. Times like this call for spirited self-affirmation, chocolates and wine. Call up your girlfriends and proceed to the obligatory (and ultra-fun) boyfriend-bashing. And your family, I sure they'd be more than happy to give you all the support and empowerment you need. You gotta stay happy during the duration of your pregnancy 'cause it's good for the baby, yeah?

Also, never isolate yourself from the outside world. It's got a knack for catching up on people who've shut themselves out in the form of overdue bills and notices for jury duty. You're a very important being to many [i]other[/i] individuals so I suggest you tend to those emaciated relationships immediately.


P.S. Sue his *** for alimony then go on a shopping spree.[/SIZE][/COLOR]