[Name Removed] And Other Unfortunate Names

[Raiha]

So there I was, working for my company, "HR [Human Resources] and Sales and Demand," doing what I do, which is essentially telemarketing to corporations that should want my product. It's my first day on the job, I'm on 4 hours of sleep, and it's getting later in the day.

I have about 100 spreadsheets of about 20 names each of companies to call. So naturally I see a lot of names of owners and the like. At the time I was in the B section, which was about five pages long, and I'm running down the list, calling, saying the exact same thing over and over:

"Hello this is D'Ann with Sales and Demand. My client is updating his lists and would like to know if your company would be interested in fulfillment marketing, which is better advertising through mailing campaigns. If you're interested I can send you some information." And from there I'm either rejected, which is, no lie, 98% of the time. Or I get to send them information and get paid if they like it.

So looking at the list I see the next company and the name of the owner.

[Name Removed]

Think about it. [Name Removed]. What exactly does that entail? How on earth did she get that name? Is it her maiden name? Is it her married name? Is she German? Is she a Nazi? Is she crazy?!! Thinking all these thoughts, I had to call her number and talk to her. Mercifully I was dumped into her voice mail, so I left a fainthearted message, working very hard at not ending it with a rousing and very patriotic:

"Heil der Führer!"

........but seriously... She's a real person who says her name in her voice mail and also happens to work at and quite possibly own American Home Mortage company. If she is the owner she probably has a name plate on her desk. Oh god the implications.... How it would alienate any Jewish people seeking to get a mortgage on their house... Disturbe the populace...

Have you ever run into equally disturbing or just plan unfortunate last names? If anyone has a name that can top mine, I shall bow to them and be their willing slave.

Edit: It turns out [Name Removed] is a man. But who would know? "A" usually ending a name denotes female. And secondly, automated voices on answering machines can be very misleading. Run a search for his last name if you think I'm making this all up btw.

[outlawstar69]

Wow... that does sound like a name that would have been made, oh, perhaps during the 1940's... in Europe...

Sometime last year I remembered watching the morning news, there was apparantly a couple getting married, each of whom had the fortune (or misfortune to have names that were snyonyms of each other. What were their surnames? One was named Boring, and the other was named Dull. I kid you not, I think it was the CBS morning show if I remember correctly.

And to anyone who reads the Reader's Digest, there was a short blurb about unfortunate names one had read on Tombstones, and there was a tombstone out in the midwest, which bore the name "Ima Hogg".

[Semjaza]

One of my dad's friends had some run-in with a lady, I guess you could say. They were applying for some sort of job and he read the name off the application. It said "Female", so obviously he pronounced it as such and was confused. I guess she got really mad because it was supposed to be pronounced like "Tamale" with an F instead of a T.

All I know is that people are running out of name ideas. I think her mother was trying to invent some sort of African-styled name for her daughter, but that certainly isn't one. I was listening to some talk show once when a woman actually from Africa called in and complained about all the weird names here that people name their kids that aren't remotely African at all.

That's all I have... lol

[Chaos]

[quote name='Neuvoxraiha][color=darkorchid][FONT=Times New Roman] How it would alienate any Jewish people seeking to get a mortgage on their house...[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]



Pfft. A Jew getting a mortgage? Please.



*tilts head* And while I wait to get flamed for the political incorrectness, I'll recall that there was a teacher in Grey, Louisiana named "Randy Bonner." He was fairly old, too, so I think the joke passed his parents by. Still got a chuckle when I heard it.

[Lafleur]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Well, my middle name is Kilpatrick, which is Irish, and you know how Irish names are always literal... Does that mean my ancestor killed patrick? That loveable pink idiot with the round arms and legs and head? I am sad :([/COLOR]

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Hm... not funny, Chaos.

Anyway, I met someone with the last name "Sweat." It's pronounced regularly too. Imagine all the jokes he must've gotten in elementary and high school. Heh. Poor guy.[/SIZE]

[Sara]

[quote name='Generic NPC #3']One of my dad's friends had some run-in with a lady, I guess you could say. They were applying for some sort of job and he read the name off the application. It said "Female", so obviously he pronounced it as such and was confused. I guess she got really mad because it was supposed to be pronounced like "Tamale" with an F instead of a T.[/quote][color=#6699cc]I've heard that name! My mom was talking about a woman she met at work who either had that name, or whose daughter was named that.

And of course, there's always the rumors of people named Oranjello (o RAHN jeh LO) and Shithead (Sha-THAYD).[/color]

[Raiha]

Dang. Oh well. Lore is my new Mistress. *does rituals and all* Oh Mistress, how may I serve you?

Although, just for my sake, I'm sure the historical and potentially offensive potential of a name such as [Name Removed] remain unmatched. Take the Deomcratic Leader of the Senate's comparison of U.S. Troops to Nazis. We'll never be free of that sort of stigma. Ah well. I don't envy him.

[Chaos]

I've actually met a "Shithead," thought it was pronounced "She-THEED" and shortly after it became a joke with a few friends. Nothing like going around school yelling out "WHAT'S UP SHETHEED?" and have some completely random person hollering back "NOTHING, HOW 'BOUT YOU?" and seeing the teachers go crosseyed in confusion.

[Semjaza]

Dang. Oh well. Lore is my new Mistress. *does rituals and all* Oh Mistress, how may I serve you?

Although, just for my sake, I'm sure the historical and potentially offensive potential of a name such as [Name Removed] remain unmatched. Take the Deomcratic Leader of the Senate's comparison of U.S. Troops to Nazis. We'll never be free of that sort of stigma. Ah well. I don't envy him.[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]

Not to derail this, but that's not really what he said. A lot of that was taken way out of context, but even then it was a reference to the supposed torturing within Guantanamo... not the force as a whole.

Besides, Aryan doesn't necessarily have to refer to the interpretation the Nazi's took from that weird, psychic lady. Before that it mostly referred to Indo-European people and even older groups of people who would in turn refer to themselves as Aryan.

I know people don't use that today thanks to what has happened last century, but it's possible it's reference is from that and thus not really related to the whole Nazi regime thing... still the similar sounds remain lol.

[Raiha]

[QUOTE=Generic NPC #3]Besides, Aryan doesn't necessarily have to refer to the interpretation the Nazi's took from that weird, psychic lady. Before that it mostly referred to Indo-European people and even older groups of people who would in turn refer to themselves as Aryan.

I know people don't use that today thanks to what has happened last century, but it's possible it's reference is from that and thus not really related to the whole Nazi regime thing... still the similar sounds remain lol.[/QUOTE]
[FONT=Times New Roman]
[COLOR=DarkOrchid]I suppose I shouldn't have mentioned the good Senator. Ah well, back to names. I have no desire to see another political debate break out. Seeing as how, as a conservative, I'm badly outmatched. But really. Even if the person in question is referring to the ancient Aryan people... They must realize that their name incites a great deal of mental and historical baggage. A simple letter or two changed in in the name might just make the whole thing sound better[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Morpheus]

I don't think it was pronounced right, but no one at my highschool could compose themselves after we heard "Shagnasty" on the intercom.

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]One of Western Australia's highest ranking prosecutors is called Richard Cockram. Shorten that to... well, you know. Probably wouldn't escape the censor anyway.

We also have a bay called 'Cockburn Sound', pronounced Coe-burn.[/size]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

Seeing names like these really does make you appreciate having a normal, though uncommon first name and a normal and very common last name. Still I believe I have the name to top the previous ones given, the assistant manager in my local branch of Allied Irish Banks, [B]Mr Richard Head[/B]. Richard, known to his superiors as simply Dick and known to "his minions" (his words not mine) as Mr Head or Boss, a gentlemen to his fingertips it is unfortunate that he has such a combination of Christian and last names.[/SIZE]

[quote name='Ilium][COLOR=DarkRed']Well, my middle name is Kilpatrick, which is Irish, and you know how Irish names are always literal... Does that mean my ancestor killed patrick? That loveable pink idiot with the round arms and legs and head? I am sad :([/COLOR][/quote]

[SIZE=1]A misconception, the name Kilpatrick is actually mixture of two words in Irish, the first part "Kil" is actually taken from the Irish word [I]Coill[/I] meaning Wood (in the context of a Forest). The second being simply Patrick in both languages means Patrick as you'll no doubt have guessed, though the name comes from the Irish Patron Saint rather than the cartoon character. Translated properly your name in fact mean's [I]Patrick's Wood[/I] or [I]The Wood of Patrick[/I]. [/SIZE]

[Lafleur]

[QUOTE=Gavin][SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

Seeing names like these really does make you appreciate having a normal, though uncommon first name and a normal and very common last name. Still I believe I have the name to top the previous ones given, the assistant manager in my local branch of Allied Irish Banks, [B]Mr Richard Head[/B]. Richard, known to his superiors as simply Dick and known to "his minions" (his words not mine) as Mr Head or Boss, a gentlemen to his fingertips it is unfortunate that he has such a combination of Christian and last names.[/SIZE]



[SIZE=1]A misconception, the name Kilpatrick is actually mixture of two words in Irish, the first part "Kil" is actually taken from the Irish word [I]Coill[/I] meaning Wood (in the context of a Forest). The second being simply Patrick in both languages means Patrick as you'll no doubt have guessed, though the name comes from the Irish Patron Saint rather than the cartoon character. Translated properly your name in fact mean's [I]Patrick's Wood[/I] or [I]The Wood of Patrick[/I]. [/SIZE][/QUOTE][COLOR=DarkRed]

Great... So one of my ancestors was the genetalia of some guy named Patrick? Comforting...

This is not joke, but I once met a girl named Dixie Normus. If that isn't one of the funniest names I have ever heard, than... Well, it's a funny name and I almost fell off my chair when she told me.[/COLOR]

[Raiha]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=DarkOrchid]I don't think Dixie Normus is a bad name. If she's from the south, it's supposed to be a common name. And Normus is a rather generic last name. I called someone with the last name Normus today. ....as I was at work calling more corporations that mostly didn't want to hear from me.

Anyway. No strange names today, thank goodness. I just know that I'll get more. Odds are, with more than 1,000 names to call through, I'll run across another one.

Today though, I had to call Sparky's. I was wondering who Sparky was when I got the answering machine and I heard clown music and an overly happy voice say:

"Hi kids! This is Sparky the clown! I'm not in right now but if you leave a message I can get back to you within 24 hours. HAHAHA!"[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Ailes de Velour]

[font=arial][color=darkorchid][size=1] It's not the name, it's what it sounds like. Think about it: Dixie Normus.

x_x;;

As for me, I've heard of a few people with the last name Butts. Poor people.

I think I'd also be unfortunate to have the last name Isador. When people said it, they'd be calling you a door. "Harry Isador!" *Harry is a door*. All though, that's not so completely strange and unfortunate.[/font][/color][/size]

[Gavin]

[QUOTE=Neuvoxraiha][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=DarkOrchid]Today though, I had to call Sparky's. I was wondering who Sparky was when I got the answering machine and I heard clown music and an overly happy voice say:

"Hi kids! This is Sparky the clown! I'm not in right now but if you leave a message I can get back to you within 24 hours. HAHAHA!"[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]

[SIZE=1]I wouldn't really think of Sparky as an unfortunate name, the guy who runs the local fast food shop near me is called Sparky, or at least that what everyone calls him. He's Italian but has lived in Ireland for years, even developing the same accent and mannerisms of people in the area, grand fellow but as Sparky probably isn't his real name it mightn't count.

A few years ago we were talking about our full names in Fourth Year in high school and where they came from, one of the guys was rather reluctant to give his first name because it wasn't a very common set of names. After a bit of coxing he revealed his full name was [B]Michael Mary Gabriel Hickey[/B], many of which can be shortened down to slightly funnier names.

Although today Mary is a very uncommon boy's middle name, it was quite common back when my grandmother was growing up, one of her brother's middle name was Mary. The reasoning behind this eludes me as it would have seemed far more sensible to call boys Joseph and girls Mary. [/SIZE]

[Ganymede]

Ahhh the name game, what a blast!

Well I had a girl in my band class at school who's name was Ricela May Layus.......Yes, her parents had the great humor or great stupidity to give their child the middle name of May when they possess such and interesting last name.

And as for that sparky the clown thing....well...thats just freaky.....

[Goodbye, Face]

I have a close friend named Cowboy, he actually showed me his birth certificate, it says Cowboy Johnson.

Someone mentioned Orangelo. He's from my area, a friend of mine's dad is a cop, and he caught two criminals, brothers named Orangelo and Lemongelo, that's right, orange jello and lemon jello. The story behind it is simply that their mother couldn't come up with any names, so she named them after the last thing she ate: Jello.

A friend of mine was working at a gas station and this woman named Anita Lei (I'm guessing that's how it's spelled) asked him for some cigarettes (to purchase, just to clarify). He thought she was hitting on him until she pulled out her driver's liscence.

Also, there's this guy named Ben Dovah at my school. Nuff said.

Oh, AdV, that's a running joke at my school, try "[spoiler]My dixie wrecked[/spoiler]."

[Panda]

So many unfortunate names, so much fun reading them.

One of my friends, Eric Dover, has a younger brother named Benjamin. Thus his name being: Ben Dover. Doesn't look too bad but when you say it out loud you'll see what is funny about it.

There was also a family in my hometown whose last name is Horney. All the kids, I believe there were 7 of them, were in sports and had lettermen jackets. As most people they had their last name put on the backs of their jackets. I am not sure if I had that last name I would advertise it on my back.

My husband grew up deep in the apple growing area of Washington state and there was a family with the last name Apple. Which was very appropriate since they had orchards. The kids were named Jonathan and Delicia. Delicia a take on the Red Delicious apples.

The other unfortunate name belongs to one of the clients I use to help while working at the vet clinic. Her parents gave her a traditional Norwegian name (please forgive me if I misspell this.): Wenche. Which looks like it would be pronounced "Wenchy", but is actually pronounced "Ren-ka".

I am very happy to have such a boring name.

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1][b]The Force is strong with this one.[/b]

All that can be really said about this next one, last week a friend of my uncle Colin became a father for the first time, to a healthy baby boy. The friend who was born on the day Star Wars was released in the cinema has always had a devout love of the series, including naming his dog [B]Chewbacca[/B]. Last week he took it on step further, giving his first born son the [B]Anakin O'Sullivan[/B], naturally enough his wife was less than happy with the name demanding he be called something else.

When my uncle first called and told me about it three days ago I didn't think he was serious, but eventually I realised that he was and offered the name [B]Ben[/B] as a solution to the naming problem, seeing as how it was both a normal name but had a Star Wars side to it. Yesterday morning my uncle called me back saying that the couple liked the name Ben and had agreed to give him that name, [I]as his middle name[/I]. Seemingly Gerry [the father] wouldn't be swayed from calling the boy Anakin, but accepted [readily I might add] giving him Ben as his middle name, having previously dismissed Obi-Wan as a potential Christian name.

So in the end the child will be named [b]Anakin Ben O'Sullivan[/b], and will be referred to by his middle name by his family [except maybe his father] and everyone else. I kid you not with this one folks, ask Annie as I was telling her yesterday on AIM.[/SIZE]

[Raiha]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=DarkOrchid]I don't think that kid is going to last long in the public school system. Ah well, I hope he's an easy baby to raise and homeschool because god knows he'll never live it down if it gets out of the family and his birth certificate is ever released to girlfriends, or rather, potential girlfriends...[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Lafleur]

Especially because his short name is Annie. That won't help much.

[celestialcharm]

[QUOTE=Gavin][SIZE=1]
So in the end the child will be named [b]Anakin Ben O'Sullivan[/b], and will be referred to by his middle name by his family [except maybe his father] and everyone else. I kid you not with this one folks, ask Annie as I was telling her yesterday on AIM.[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

Aren't his parents afraid he would go to the dark side? :animestun

Well anyways, I have a Friend Named Sweta (pronounced Sh-weat-a) and her last name is Pant. So my other friend told my that in class people called her Sweat Pants!

Well I have a weird last name.... It is Boddie (pronounced Body, like the human body.) I have endured so much teasing in elementary school. I would be like haha funny", but it hurt inside. So when I went to middle school, I was like "haha shut up" :animeangr .

But, I remember when I was in grade 3, my teacher had a fake skeleton of a human to show us, and she was like this is Mr. Body, No offence to your dad, Charlene. But, before she said that, I looked around because I thought my dad was there :animestun

EDIT: I forgot to write about another weird name! My sister was reading a newspaper, and a magician and his wife or girlfriend, had a baby girl. They named Her first name was 'Mopsy', and her Middle name was 'Crimefighter.' When my sister told me I was like Why would they name the child crimefighter?! Then she responded by saying, They said if she gets stopped by the cops, she can say that she's on there side becaused she's a 'Crimefighter.'