When is it acceptable to still be a virgin?

[Doukeshi]

[SIZE=1]Okay, now I don't want any of this "do it when you feel ready" crap, we've heard it all before, don't try and be sensetive, I want the gods honest truth from you people.

Obviously the traditional age for the loss of the big V is round about 17-19. However, how old do you have to be for it to be 'weird' for you to still have your virginity? 20, 21, 22? I have heard stories of people being as old as 30 and 45 and still being a virgin?

It really kind of lends itself to the whole recluse, still living with the parents at 40, type of person and can be really scary to someone who is 20 and still a virgin, I mean how depressing does that future look.

So, when does it become weird to you for someone to still be a virgin? Truthfully.[/SIZE]

[Zhara]

[COLOR=DarkOrchid][FONT=Garamond]Well, I don't plan on finding out that something truly IS better than chocolate until I'm married. But I think it's kinda weird to be a forty-year-old virgin...Unless you're a nun or something. But whatever, you know? Some poeple just aren't that sexual. And since I plan on joining the Air Force after school, I don't want to get married BEFORE then, that's just not enough time to get to know someone. And if I get shipped out to Iraq or whatever, I'll be, like, twenty something when I do get back to the states and find someone worth my time...So, I'll be an old lady by the time I (hopefully) lose it!

(Random thing: I looked at doukeshi03 's profile, and you've had exactly one post for every day you've been a member of OtakuBoards! Thought it was cool, so I pointed it out.)[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Morpheus]

It depends on who you care about being accepted by. A nice guy will see you as a much more acheivable goal, whereas a horndog will see you as easy prey. A virgin at an older age is seen as a recluse, but we're talking 40-50 here. Me sort of fitting the nice guy thing, I would be much more comfortable hearing "still a virgin" over "A few times".

[Corey]

[size=1]*points at self*
Virgin.

With that out of the way, I've never found it particularly weird to still be a virgin at almost 19 years of age. I've never loved anyone enough to have sex with them.
I guess I'm one of those guys that can't go around screwing every girl I 'like'. It seems unethical to me. I will definitely need to love the person I have sex with for the first time. I could really care less if they've been around the block once, or a dozen, times before if I love them.

I don't have plans to lose my virginity soon. If it happens, it happens.
But there's more important things out there.[/size]

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]I'm twenty, male, and still a virgin.

It's odd. There've been several times when I've had the opportunity for sex but for whatever reason, it didn't happen. I'd almost pledged to myself that I wasn't going to be a virgin when I turned twenty at the beginning of this year but alas, it was not to be. It's not that I haven't wanted it- although the first opportunity I had it turned out that I wasn't ready for it anyway- but things just turned out that way.

I think it's unusual for someone to be a virgin over the age of 27, and to me it'd be weird for someone over 35 to still be a virgin. I think. I've never thought about it that much, heh ^_^;

I don't feel weird as such yet, but I am starting to worry that if I don't hurry, I'm not going to be able to find anyone who'll want me. It seems irrational, but... yeah. I really don't want to leave it that much longer, I'll put it that way.[/COLOR]

[Kamuro]

[SIZE=1]This is quite the discussion lol. Virginity means nothing anymore in my opinion. Sure, it use to be something "sacred" and still is to some extent, but I don't believe it really means anything, even to those who wait till marriage. They don't do it by choice, they're religion influences them to. They fear they'll go to hell otherwise, so they keep they're legs closed.

Most of my friends aren't virgins, and the person they lost it to, isn't to be found. So what happened? I'm tired of hearing about this love expected to last forever from people who just met last month. Going through infos on AIM and seeing "I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH, FOREVER," it doesn't mean anything it all. It means someone has found another flavor of the week, and next week "love" means nothing at all.[/SIZE]

[Zhara]

[COLOR=DarkOrchid][FONT=Garamond]Well, I don't believe in God, or Heaven, or Hell, so I'm not afraid of going to Hell if I "sin". But I'm not going to make this into a big theological discussion, so let's let it suffice to say that I do hold it sacred, it means something to me, and even if I didn't wait until marriage, I would make sure I loved my partner very much before having sex with him...Most of my friends aren't virgins, either.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[James]

[QUOTE=doukeshi03][SIZE=1]Okay, now I don't want any of this "do it when you feel ready" crap, we've heard it all before, don't try and be sensetive, I want the gods honest truth from you people.

[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

[font=franklin gothic medium]The honest truth is that you lose it when you are ready. End of story.

Why associate "weirdness" with it? Who cares what other people think? If you are going to base your loss of virginity on an external standard for whatever reason, I think you are already making a mistake. I mean, in the same way that you shouldn't lose your virginity early due to peer pressure, you also shouldn't force yourself to lose it because you're worried that people will view you as a loser or something.

As a novel idea, why don't we worry less about what people think is "normal" and instead focus on what we feel is right for us? Afterall, you are in the best position to know what you feel comfortable with and to know when the time is right.[/font]

[Chaos]

James is basically right. I've had my fair share of run-ins and I have to say I don't know what all the fuss is about. Sex is sex. Not being a virgin doesn't make you a whore, being a virgin doesn't make you a loser. Yeah, it's great, even better when you have it with someone you quote-unquote love. It's a person's choice to do what they want with their body when they want, I'll fight to the death arguing that, but I don't think people need to [b]fear[/b] it. Don't be pressured into something you don't want to do, people, BUT, don't be pressured into NOT doing something, either.

You only live once. Enjoy yourself while you can. Take the opportunites that come your way. Sex is natural, and, yes, it feels incredible when you share yourself with another person, so don't hesitate because some inane morales are imposed on you.


And if you do have intimate relations, please, use a rubber.[/obligatory public service announcement.]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

At eighteen and a half I'm still a virgin and don't feel in the least bit self-conscious about that fact, I personally see it as a bit silly to view losing one's virginity at an early age to be some sort of achievement. That said I don't abdicate imposed celibacy for people, though by the same token using sex as some kind of recreational activity wouldn't be a great idea in my own mind either.

Long story short, you lose your virginity when you're ready, if you're lucky then you share that moment with someone special, if you're not then it could just be meaningless first-time sex with some unknown hooker because you're desperate. Given the opportunity I'll take the first as opposed to the second.[/SIZE]

[Maully]

With just a scan of the first page of replies, I hope that you see that the idea of losing it when you're ready is not crap. No one should be forced or pressured to lose their virginity. Sure, sex is fun or whatever rationalization you may put behind it, but there are consequences too. I'm not just talking about the STD commercials you see, or even that risk, though it is a hefty one. Sex, before your ready can lead to serious emotional cosequenses for you. If you say that detached sex doesn't affect people, talk to the people who casually have sex with multiple partners and ask them if they've ever loved someone or if they ever will. Besides that, look at all the disfunctional homelives created by knowledgeable and unknowledgeable sex. Sex has consequences. With that in mind, how can you say it's weird to be as careful as you can be about it by staying a virgin.

As to virginity, that subject is the same and different. I have the highest amount of respect for someone who has kept their virginity for whatever reason they did. I, myself, did not. I don't know if you care to know that or not. It's been out there on this board before in a thread not unklike this one. Sex is an individual experience. Even the people involved in the same act together are not having the same experience. In retrospect, I hate waited a long time, and I hate the way I lost my virginity. I have more than once thought back to it and been absolutely ashamed of myself. It is a noble act to be picky, and one should not be ashamed, nor should anyone try to shame them for such an idea.

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Well, yeah, when you're ready is always best.

For me, I would prefer to lose my virginity to a girl who I love very much, and could actually see a long-term relationship with. Not just some ****-buddy, or a friend with benefits, but someone I care about. I think it's standard for a guy of about 23 and under to have lost his virginity already.

[quote name='James']As a novel idea, why don't we worry less about what people think is "normal" and instead focus on what we feel is right for us?[/quote]I agree with you on this one, James, but to answer your question... "Normal" exists because the majority of people do something. As humans, we want to fit in (primal instincts engrained deep within), so we strive to be "normal" (most of the time), whatever that may entail. While your suggestion is wise, it's not going to realistically happen ever for the majority of folks.

[quote name='Umbra II']To judge someone on their sexual inactivity seems a bit strange.[/quote] But it happens. It's the social norms that I was talking about just a few sentences earlier.[/SIZE]

[Umbra II]

Whenever someone chooses to lose there virginity, if at all, is completelyup to them, and not for others to decide whether its acceptable or not. To judge someone on their sexual inactivity seems a bit strange. Maybe they haven't found the right person. Maybe they're only interested in a platonic relationship.You make it sound like one should have sex not for children or even for lust, but because to be a virgin at age 35 (a random middle aged number, I assure you) is seen as, to inference from the tittle, unacceptable. To answer your question, if you haven't found someone you want to marry and have kids with, its still perfectly acceptable.

[BasouKazuma]

I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin. I don't really care about having sex anytime soon. It'll happen when it happens. Whatever. If I end up being a virgin til I'm 25, so be it.

[duStAnDteArS]

[QUOTE=doukeshi03][SIZE=1]Okay, now I don't want any of this "do it when you feel ready" crap, we've heard it all before, don't try and be sensetive, I want the gods honest truth from you people.

ok all i can tell you is that unless you want to have a kid or something else with someone you don't really know... :animestun then don't have sex until you ABSOLUTLY know you "love " that person or your married... i personally want to save myself for the person(if i ever find the bastard :animeangr ) i love, i really don't care if he is avirgin or not as long as he is clean and doesn't have a disease.. but it all truth it is really hard to find that one special person when most of the smart *** guys around you all act liek jerks an stare at me as i pass by :animeshy: ..... nothing against any good guys on this forum..... plus i think it would be more,how should i put it to all the non-believers, [I]moral[/I] to remain chase till you are ready to give your whole heart and soul to someone! (can you imagine what woulds happen if they broke it :animedepr ) well anyway just don't go screwing around with the worng person , think of the kids...... :rolleyes: :p

[Kato_Ama]

Interesting replies. Haven't seen one from my position yet, though. What position would that be? Well, 19 year old virgin and I really don't mind. Hell, I crack jokes about it sometimes. The difference? I want to flippin lose it! :mad: Its not that I'm a loser or ugly either. Lol, the two main problems are that I'm shy and I want to lose it to someone I'm really in love with. Unfortunately, all this comes together to make and unhappy combination.

[BasouKazuma]

[quote name='Kato_Ama']Interesting replies. Haven't seen one from my position yet, though. What position would that be? Well, 19 year old virgin and I really don't mind. Hell, I crack jokes about it sometimes. The difference? I want to flippin lose it! :mad: Its not that I'm a loser or ugly either. Lol, the two main problems are that I'm shy and I want to lose it to someone I'm really in love with. Unfortunately, all this comes together to make and unhappy combination.[/quote]
You shouldn't want it so bad. It's just sex. Somehow people think that they are a loser if they don't have sex. So they are somewhat pressured into wanting to get rid of their virginity.

Anyway, since i didnt really answer the question b4, It's pretty much unacceptable to be a virgin after you're 30 years old. A 30+ year old would've had plenty of time to find someone they love.

[You Don't Care]

Hmm. Losing virginity.

For me, I have been finding out that I don't really need to worry about having sex or even really care if I ever have it at all. I am a much too busy and I am the kind of person who only considers it when the situation arrises. As a matter of fact, the chances of me losing my virginity is slim to none. (Unless, of course, I let my temptation get the better of me. Which is unlikely to happen.) That may change in the future or it may not.

This is just one of those things that gets in the way of bettering myself as a single being. I will only strive for it if it will better me and the society as a whole. That's what it is there for, right?

[vegeta rocker]

My boyfriend and i lost our virginity to each other about a year ago.
He was my first boyfriend, and we had been dating for a while.
We just let it happen naturally, we didn't dwell on it or anything.

I think that beign a virgin is weird past 25. Unless you have a particular reason. I mean its weird if you have been trying to get laid ands you are still a virgin at 25.

[SilentSecurity]

I lost my virginity the day I turned 18. I'm a religious guy I go to church every Sunday and all that but I don't believe in that 'keep it to yourself' ******** that the church preaches.

~Rod~

[Patronus]

I lost my virginity last year, at 15, and some people think that's too young. But it's not- life's about taking chances. I took one.

I'd say it'd be weird to be a virgin and to be 25. It's after college, which is the best place to screw.

[SilentSecurity]

[QUOTE=Patronus]I lost my virginity last year, at 15, and some people think that's too young. But it's not- life's about taking chances. I took one.

I'd say it'd be weird to be a virgin and to be 25. It's after college, which is the best place to screw.[/QUOTE]

You're right about taking chances.
Life's to damn short to wait until you're married to have sex.

I think 20 is too old to be a virgin, i mean if you usually don't have sex a lot after 60 and you only live to about 80 so why the hell should you wait until you get married? If you got married at 30 you only have 30 years of an active sex life, and when your married sex doesn't happen as often as when you're single and dating.

~Rod~

[KittyLynn]

Well last time I checked, I didn't turn down new friends because they were still a virgin. If you've had sex, then cool, hope you had a blast. If you didn't, then cool, hope you have a blast when you do. Personally, I think that if you loose your virginity to someone who will mean nothing in like 2 seconds, then that's [I]unacceptable.[/I] But then again, hope you have a blast doing it.

Hope you had a blast reading my post. ;)

- Kittydoo

[James]

[QUOTE=Retribution][SIZE=1]

I agree with you on this one, James, but to answer your question... "Normal" exists because the majority of people do something. As humans, we want to fit in (primal instincts engrained deep within), so we strive to be "normal" (most of the time), whatever that may entail. While your suggestion is wise, it's not going to realistically happen ever for the majority of folks.
[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

[font=franklin gothic medium]I know what "normal" is, but I think the whole concept is slightly ridiculous anyway - one person's normal might be another person's crazy. I mean, you even get variation from country to country. But that's kind of off the point.

Basically, if people are going to have sex - or avoid sex - just to be "normal" (ie: to submit to social pressures rather than to make their own decision), I don't have much sympathy. Afterall, I think we've all agreed that sex is a very personal decision and not one to be taken lightly. As a result, making such a choice based on what friends are saying, or what "society" says, could lead to negative results.

I think most people are generally getting it right here anyway - most are saying that they want to have sex under conditions that they favor. And I think that's reasonable enough. As long as people aren't feeling pressured to make a choice that they disagree with, I think they will mostly be okay.[/font]

[Panda]

This has been a bit of an interesting thread to read. I feel that having sex is something that needs to wait until you are completely ready to deal with all that goes along with it: STD's, pregnancy, social and religious stigmas. Whether someone is 15 or 50, it is their choice of when it is right to loose their virginity. I don't think someone is strange or not normal for being a virgin at any age.