When is it acceptable to still be a virgin?

[Charles]

The media, movies, television in general constantly emphasize the importance of sex. I think that's the point of confusion here and why people feel pressured to have sex as quickly as possible. Popular culture pushes the message hard. If you don't have sex, you're not living. In reality though, there's no set age where everyone should lose their virginity. At the end of the day, we all have to answer to ourselves. Everyone leads a different life; everyone has different needs and priorities. We should respect that individuality. But, then again, I'm not really saying anything that hasn't already been said here.

[Rick Hunter]

Well personally I think that people shouldn't really have to look to society to see when it's acceptable to lose your virginity. Sex is something that granted can be fun, and great at times. But it's not a neccessity in life. I rather have meaningful relationships with a person then just randomly sleep around like some whore. I don't think honestly there's a certain cut-off point when you should lose your virginity. Afterall not everyone matures at the same rate, and what some may find acceptable others may not. Does this give people a right to pressure friends into losing their virginity? Survey says, No.

Though if a person is like up there in age probably like 40 or something and is still a virgin. This does arise certain issues in that persons life. That person must be someone really lonely that needs relationship advice.

Not to get too personal here but I lost my virginity at 17, I've only slept with two people in my lifetime. Both were meaningful relationships and the last person was at least almost six or eight months ago. Sex is good and all. But it's something in my life that I don't crave or need. It's something everyone should think about seriously before....taking that plunge.

[Sandy]

I sincerely think that if you've reached middle-age and you still haven't had sex, that then it's hardly your choice. ;) But of course I don't go judging people who "don't get laid", it doesn't define you as a person.

In fact, my cherry got picked, so to speak, only two months ago by my first (and hopefully only) boyfriend, who was a virgin himself too. We're both 21. The sex, it's lovelicious and we enjoy it everytime we meet, but that really didn't change us at all. It changed what we did with our time given, but we're basically the same two silly gay guys we were before that.

I was extremely lucky to lose my butt-virginity to someone I sincerely love and adore, and who loves me in return. [I]That[/I] is worth waiting for. [I]Marriage[/I] has nothing to do with sex, it won't make it feel any better. It's [I]the love[/I], people! The love! :love:

[Korey]

[QUOTE=James][font=franklin gothic medium]The honest truth is that you lose it when you are ready. End of story.

Why associate "weirdness" with it? Who cares what other people think? If you are going to base your loss of virginity on an external standard for whatever reason, I think you are already making a mistake. I mean, in the same way that you shouldn't lose your virginity early due to peer pressure, you also shouldn't force yourself to lose it because you're worried that people will view you as a loser or something.

As a novel idea, why don't we worry less about what people think is "normal" and instead focus on what we feel is right for us? Afterall, you are in the best position to know what you feel comfortable with and to know when the time is right.[/font][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Navy]Here here james! no matter how many people say when the time is right, no matter how cliche it is, it is the honest to god truth. honestly though, sometimes your vision of "approiate age" is different from other peoples. let me put that into context for you. in older times, it was considered perfectally normal for a woman to have sex even before she turned 18! this goes along with the arrangement of marriages and stuff. it wasn't uncommon to see women with two to three children before becoming "legal" by today's standards.

a lot of times, people will pressure you to having sex before you feel the time is right. and those people should feel pretty damn stupid about what they are asking of you. but you know who you "like" and who you "love" so the decision is totally up to you as a person and your "partner".

as far as people being 40-50ish before having sex is kind of weird, but i wouldn't care about that too much. there are much worse things going on in the world to worry about people who aren't sexually active. again it's all based on interpretation. [/COLOR]

[Annie]

[size=1]I lost my virginity at the age of 16 to an undeserving jerk. Do I regret it? Yes, and no. Yes, because I wasn't ready for what came along with sex. I didn't get pregnant, and I don't have an STD. But paranoia doesn't get cured too easily; even though you know your sexual intercourse was protected, it's just a feeling that lingers in the back of your mind when the menstral cycle is thrown off for a week or two.

And no, I don't regret it because it made me be more cautious. And there's that motto: you live, you learn. It wasn't a terrible experience, but it is an experience I wish I could've held off for someone else.

I've had pretty bad sexual experiences, and I've had some good ones. But all in all, the bad ones have left me scarred, and wishing I was still a virgin. I find that virginity is something that should be respected. And to all my friends who are still virgins, know that I admire you, and in some case, envy you.

Your virginity shouldn't be tossed around like some sour taste in your mouth. It's something you should protect until you find the right person and/or moment. I don't care how old you are by the time you have sex, when it's time, it's time. You should rush it, just let it come naturally. It's like eating your favorite candy, if you eat it all up too fast, it's gone and you get a stomach ache. But if you savor it, it lasts longer and is more enjoyable.[/size]

[Drizzt Do'urden]

I'm going to have to agree with goddess. I haven't read the entire thread due to time restraints. I feel it shouldn't matter your age. Whether your 40years old (that movies going to be hillarious by the way) or your 18 years old. I do believe lifes about chances but 15 is a little young Patronus. And the only reason I say that is though lifes about taking chances, it's also about being ready to deal with the consequences of the chances we take.

And at 15 you really don't know as much about the ways of the world as you should. Now I can't say much, I lost mine when I was 16. And it was a relationship where it was together forever blah blah blood blah. Because it's almost certain that one of the two will turn. In this case it was my girlfriend at the time who turned around and left me two weeks later (There's a hit to the statistics for you). And it took me awhile to get over due to the fact that she was my first.

In my opionion it should be 18-25 should be almost the perfect time. Because you've already been through heartbreaks in your life. And hopefully everyones found someone by then who they care about. Or if you haven't found that "special someone" there's always college to make up for lost time.

[DeathBug]

[quote name='Charles']The media, movies, television in general constantly emphasize the importance of sex. [/quote]

And your avatar.

Sorry, I couldn't resist. =P

Anyone, to be serious, who cares? Honestly, people are either pressuring you to have sex, or pressuring you not to, and it's bloody ridiculous. You shouldn't have sex before you're ready (Read: completely able to handle the potential consequences in all their various forms), but after you are, then who cares?

Oh, and nineteen, virgin, saving it 'till marriage, and not because I'm afraid I'll go to Hell.

[sweetie_rei]

[FONT=Arial]undefined[/FONT][SIZE=2]undefined[/SIZE][COLOR=Purple]undefined[/COLOR]
okay the concept of loosing the virginity lost its meaning in like the late 80's in my mind. I am 17 and tired and almost but never did. I was "scared" but really it was that I didnt want to do it. In my family its around 18-20 that we all lose ours, (unless your my mother, 13, in her case.). So it starts to get werid around lets say 25, then it sorta becomes unacceptable around 35. But hey that is me, and with each generation (no offense to the young ones) the loosing of the virginity will get sooner and younger its just a fact of socitey with everything that surrounds us. That is the part that worries me. Guys are happy to see me and get to know me and know that i havent lost mine. They really do respect me for that, and that i stood up my ex and told him that I didnt want cuz I wasnt even ready.

[Ryo the Tactician]

Hmm...my opinion on the matter:

Idealistically, I say marriage. Sex is something I have a differing opinion on. As a teenager, I, along with the rest of my fellow teens, are inundated with natural hormones that are basically screaming, "Do it! Score man! You know you wanna!!" I guess I could have been called naive on the subject a little while ago. Sex is an act that, disturbingly enough, many of my friends have probably already participated in. And I can't really condone this. However, I don't think it's a terrible thing. It's natural. Technically, I believe we have these hormones because when you get down to it, humans are animals. At this time, we, humans, as animals, are reaching sexual maturity, and are therefore being told to reproduce. So basically, our hormones are telling us that at this time (Puberty/teenage years) we are supposed to be reproducing.

I couldn't really say what age I would think it "not acceptable" to be a virgin. I find that a terrible sideeffect of modern stereotypes and teenage peer pressure. This was long winded, and it's so late I'm not dictating well. But I think you get my opinion. If you have sex as a teen, it's not the end of the world, but I think you should try your hardest to wait until your married.

~RtT

[Sandy]

What is this whole "get married" issue with you guys?! That's very concervative to think that two people can't really love each other until they get married.

Do you even know what marriage is? It's a symbol of commitment! The idea of marrying somebody is when you think you're ready to spend the rest of your life with that person. But many couples spend their entire lives together [I]without[/I] getting married, and they don't even feel the need to go through the ceremony.

To some people it's not even possible to get married in the laws of the majority of countries (speaking of us homosexuals of course).

Marriage has ultimately little to do with loving somebody. Love comes first, then marriage. But I believe that love is enough, it in itself is a great symbol of commitment - a very natural one since it's a feeling we get inside.

So why wait until you get married if you've already found somebody to love and who you want to share your everything with? What's the point?

As I said earlier, marriage doesn't make sex any better or worthwhile, it's the love!

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]It is always acceptable to be a virgin. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. However, because of some weird notion that everybody these days is a promiscuous whore, we set lower and lower 'acceptable' ages for sex.

But I do agree that there is a point when virginity becomes odd. I think that past the age of 30 you'd start to realise that something is up, or to think it a bit strange.[/size]

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Tahoma]What if you're 35 and lose your virginity but never have sex again. Are you still weird then or does the weirdness go away simply by the act of having had sex? I'm curious =)


While I do think that being a recluse certainly diminishes your chances to some loving, it needs to be said that you can go to 3 parties a week [I]but it still doesn't guarantee you'll be getting any action[/I]. Why? Because the key element, the fundamental cornerstone, is still [I]attracting someone's attention[/I]. You can't really get anywhere without that .... unless you dish out for a hooker.

If no one is drawn to you it won't matter whether you're at home watching tv or strutting your stuff in a popular club.

[SIZE=1](And because everyone wants to know, I'm 23 and a virgin. Sex starved? Maybe a little bit, and it only became an issue recently, but it's not like I can do much about it until someone will want to sex me up, lol.)[/SIZE][/FONT]

[Annie]

[QUOTE=Sage]What is this whole "get married" issue with you guys?! That's very concervative to think that two people can't really love each other until they get married.
[/QUOTE]


[size=1]No body's saying that you can't love before marriage. All we're talking about is virginity, and when people feel it's acceptable to still be one. You don't need to **** someone to prove you love them. I find that to be trashy. If you're going to have sex for love, that's great. If you're going to have sex just because you want to, that's great, too. Just make sure you use protection and all necessary precautions. [/size]

[quote name='Sage']Do you even know what marriage is? It's a symbol of commitment![/quote]

[size=1]And sex can't be recognized as commitment? Give me a break. It may not be a marital commitment, but it's one you have to focus yourself on being responsible and careful. Sex is a huge commitment to yourself; to make sure you're in good health, and to make sure your partner is also in good health.

Marriage is a commitment, and it's something that people feel is a safe place in their lives to have sex. This is an acceptable practice (to wait until you're married to have sex). It's safe, and if you feel like you can stay with this person for a very long time, then you can feel comfortable giving your innocense to them.

I see nothing wrong with waiting until marriage.[/size]

[quote=Sage]Marriage has ultimately little to do with loving somebody. Love comes first, then marriage. But I believe that love is enough, it in itself is a great symbol of commitment - a very natural one since it's a feeling we get inside.

So why wait until you get married if you've already found somebody to love and who you want to share your everything with? What's the point?[/quote]

[size=1]Is it me, or do you have something against marriage, lol. There are plenty of couples who love each other and don't get married (my parents, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel).

But as I've said before, some people just find that it's acceptable to wait for marraige. Some will agree (including myself) with the whole loving someone and staying with them for the rest of your lives without being married. There's nothing wrong with either "option". It's how people see it. I would be too scrutinizing against marriage.[/size]

[James]

[quote]And sex can't be recognized as commitment? Give me a break. It may not be a marital commitment, but it's one you have to focus yourself on being responsible and careful. Sex is a huge commitment to yourself; to make sure you're in good health, and to make sure your partner is also in good health.
[/quote]

[font=franklin gothic medium]And that is exactly what Sage is saying. He's saying that it shouldn't be marriage for marriage's sake...but that marriage should represent commitment.

Therefore, by extension, we are not talking about "marriage" necessarily, as marriage is just one person's version of commitment. The point Sage is making, I think, is that one can be committed in a variety of ways, which may or may not include marriage. So in actual fact, you two agree on that.[/font]

[quote]Is it me, or do you have something against marriage, lol. There are plenty of couples who love each other and don't get married (my parents, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel).

But as I've said before, some people just find that it's acceptable to wait for marraige. Some will agree (including myself) with the whole loving someone and staying with them for the rest of your lives without being married. There's nothing wrong with either "option". It's how people see it. I would be too scrutinizing against marriage.
[/quote]

[font=franklin gothic medium]I don't think Sage has anything against marriage (far be it for me to speak for Sage though), but rather, I think he's saying that people tend to use marriage as an arbitrary measure.

In any case, whatever people decide - whether they wait for marriage or whether they never get married at all - I respect their choice. Afterall, it all does come down to choice at the end of the day. People simply have to decide what's right for them.[/font]

[Kamuro]

[SIZE=1]I want all of you to veiw the following link, and then rethink your thoughts on sex and it's sacred basis.

[URL]http://sexmap.ytmnd.com/[/URL]

(provided to me by Retri, hilarious)[/SIZE]

[Roxas]

[size=1][QUOTE][size=1]I want all of you to veiw the following link, and then rethink your thoughts on sex and it's sacred basis.

[/size][url="http://sexmap.ytmnd.com/"][size=1]http://sexmap.ytmnd.com/[/size][/url]

[size=1](provided to me by Retri, hilarious)[/size][/QUOTE][/size]

[size=1]Oh my god... that was freaking funny *lmao!*[/size]

[size=1]Thank you for that Kamuro, I really needed a laugh. [/size]

[size=1]Anyways, I say screw what others think if you don't want be a virgin, have sex. If you want to be a virgin, then don't have sex. It all depends on you. [/size]

[size=1]And as for when it gets weird, well when do others think it starts getting weird. I personally say it doesn't matter. This worlds opinions seemed to be based on a majority vote anyways...[/size]

[Sandy]

Thanks, Jamesy. You spoke for me very well. ;) It's sometimes very difficult for me to get my point across due to me not having English as my first language. :/

So, Goddess. We actually agreed on some of the things. I haven't got anything against marriage, I was just trying to point out that it's way too overvalued. Like in the past, when sex before marriage was a horrid sin.

Kamuro, that "sexmap" of yours really was unbelievably hilarious! Especially that one guy who'd done it with eight girls and one guy (who had also done it with two of the eight girls). I really believe that the map is actually real. ;)

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE=Sage] Do you even know what marriage is? It's a symbol of commitment!

[/QUOTE]

[color=darkviolet]Until the other person decides that there's something better and isn't willing to try and work things out.... Okay I'm done.

I'm 24 and not a virgin I haven't been a virgin for a littler over four years. And I'm honestly not sure what to tell you all. Sex is nice and everything. But it involves a lot of not pretty things, and sometimes you have to keep your eyes closed or you'll pee yourself by laughing too hard at the other person's face.

I waited until I was nineteen (almost twenty) because I just didn't have anyone that I could imagine doing that with and not vomiting excessively or wanting to scrub myself with steel wool after the act. It's not something you want to take very lightly when you're considering your first time. Because for the rest of your life you'll have to remember sleeping with that person and remembering that that was teh first person you slept with. Which is why I can say I can laugh at my ex husband because I know I wasn't the first person he slept with, he has to think of someone else as his first... and she's not pretty.

As for the age of losing your virginity I know people who waited until their mid twenties, people who have only been with one persopnm their entire lives and my brother who claims to have lost it when he was fifteen.... I even know of a guy who is twenty-three, in the army and still a virgin. Granted he spends his free time on the computer instead of being around people in general, but there's nothing socially wrong with being a virgin. It's basicaly a rite of passage that some people do for he sake of doing it. But it should be taken a lot more seriously.

And for the record it's not always the quiet ones who are virgins.[/color]

[Roxas]

[color=#9400d3][QUOTE] [color=#9400d3]And for the record it's not always the quiet ones who are virgins.[/color]
[/QUOTE][/color][color=black]Tis true... Me and my gf, I expect, will loose it pretty earilier. We are both like that, but when we get to be ourselves, that's something different entierly. [/color]

[Sandy]

[QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet]Until the other person decides that there's something better and isn't willing to try and work things out....
[/color][/QUOTE]

I'm very aware of that. ;) I expressed myself badly, I meant to stress it differently, like this:

"Marriage is a SYMBOL of commitment!"

I was talking about how marriage is nothing (?) more than a symbol. People can very well live without it and be totally committed to each other, and on the other hand people who marry each other can cheat without a bad consciense.

So, I think this whole "saving self until marriage" shouldn't be taken as granted as so many of you are taking it.

Hope I got my point across this time. ;)

[Rasetsutaisho]

this is gunna sound crazy but...

i think it'd be kinda awesome to stay a virgin forever... because in a cirtain type of hindu yoga... if you dont have sex it's a lot easier to stay heathy for freakishly long time... kinda like immortality...

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE=Rasetsutaisho]this is gunna sound crazy but...

i think it'd be kinda awesome to stay a virgin forever... because in a cirtain type of hindu yoga... if you dont have sex it's a lot easier to stay heathy for freakishly long time... kinda like immortality...[/QUOTE]

[color=darkviolet]Hmm, live foreever as a virgin, or have sexs and die. Which one am I going to choose?

ONe thing's for sure, I'm not have any more unprotected sex. The fact that I'm now single again plays a large factor in this discision. Unprotected sex is only good when you're in a manogomus relationship, other than that condoms, birth control, both or just abstinence is your best bet. :D[/color]

[Doukeshi]

[SIZE=1][QUOTE=Amon][size=1][/size]

[size=1]Oh my god... that was freaking funny *lmao!*[/size]

[size=1]Thank you for that Kamuro, I really needed a laugh. [/size]

[size=1]Anyways, I say screw what others think if you don't want be a virgin, have sex. If you want to be a virgin, then don't have sex. It all depends on you. [/size]
[/QUOTE]

It's a bit more difficult than that for some people. I mean you could hate the fact that you're a virgin (due to social ideals etc) and really want to have sex but for some reason or another you can't get yourself into that situation. Sometimes its not as simple as 'have sex, don't have sex', ya know?[/SIZE]

[Guest Kage Arashi]

*points to herself* Virgin. And at 18, I really don't care. Taking someone as a lover just doesn't have a high priority in my life, I still want to figure out where I'm going.
At like 40 or 50, then it's gettin' a little weird and you have to wonder about them, but there's nothing wrong with being a recluse. I just think it's weird to be like 14 or younger (and I know people who have at 14 or younger *shudders*) and have lost it. That just says alot about the parents capablity and the person's view of themself, at least at that age.