Persona Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 [COLOR=Red][CENTER][I]Free[/I] ...So many emotions mixed inside... Feelings itself that hurts so much... [I]Why[/I] is it so hard to let go? ...My mind, body and soul... So lost...so messed up... [I]Why[/I] must I be cursed? Afraid to let myself trust... Afraid to let myself fall...such sadness [I]Why[/I] do I say such things? ...I feel that I'm loosing... Drifting firther apart... [I]Why[/I] can't I be free? ...Can't speak freely... Until these childish thoughts dissapear... [I]Why[/I] are you here? ...Feeling guilty of what I feel... Somehow the cause of all this... [I]Why[/I] don't you give up? Sadly all these questions will lead to one answer...LOVE[/CENTER] [B]Note:[/B] I know this is not my best...and probably crappiest poem...but still I post this to see how I can make it better. So do give constructive criticism, thank you.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horendithas Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 Very nicely done. I have only one thing I am unclear on with this poem. Is it trying to say the person needs to be free from love or is it saying only by finding or allowing themselves to love will they be free? The final line of "Sadly all these questions will lead to one answer...LOVE" is a bit confusing to me as it could mean either one. Till later. indifference Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiSaki Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 i agree its good but hmmm....it is confusing.lets see.u say the answer to all the questions is love right? ok...analyzing data.lol. Why is it so hard to let go?because of love Why must I be cursed?because of love Why do I say such things?because of love Why can't I be free?because of love Why are you here?because of love Why don't you give up?because of love so basically its a poem about love.love that is the reason the person is in pain but also the reason the person cant let go ne?thats how im understanding it. it seems like its a poem about a hard relationship. Anyhow i think its really really good.Great job and keep up the good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persona Posted August 14, 2005 Author Share Posted August 14, 2005 Yep that is right Chibi..its about atough relationship..a point where the female or male...is confused and at lost with the relationship. Thanks for your comments guys/girls.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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