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Let's Talk Fortune Cookies


Dragon Warrior
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Okay, fortune cookies are fun and games, but they're getting lame. XD I mean, honestly...

My latest fortune cookie says, "The fortune you seek is in another cookie." It might as well have said, "We're out of ideas, asshat, come back later!"

And of course, there's always the good fun of putting "in bed" at the end of them. One of my favorites for that is "Don't be afraid to take that big step... in bed." or "Your friends are always there for you... in bed."

Oh, maybe fortune cookies aren't lame. I wuv 'em :^D
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[COLOR=Plum][COLOR=DarkOrange]A fortune cookie I got recently said "You love sports, horses and gambling but not to excess."

Hmmm... A sport with horses and gambling....So I guess I like to bet on horse races? [/COLOR][/COLOR]

I just realised something...This fortune makes no sense! I'm underage so I can't even bet. But the cookie was good...I never had a fortune cookie that tasted bad before. :animeswea
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[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1][B][CENTER]Me personally...I luv fortune cookies. Cause they taste pretty good from the chinese resturant that I go too. As for that little piece of paper...someone who tries to find meaning, purpose, or future insight into their life are just sad. I do feel for those who are in pain and are looking for anything to lift them up...but a mass produced fortune cookie is not the answer.

I would prefer to think...''believe in yourself...create your own destiny...and don't fear failure."

Hey...wouldn't it be hilarious if you got a fortune cookie...and it didn't come true...couldn't we sue the chinese resturant for false advertising:)

But for those few times when the fortune does come true...I don't know if anyone has taken a Critical Thinking class in high school or college...but can you imagine the probability of getting a fortune cookie prediction right. Think of the variety of cookies...and how many people eat those cookies...it is probably that by chance something would come true. Just basic mathematics.
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Ahahaha, asshat, that's good.

Heh, i love fortune cookies, they're so funny. They give you the lucky lotto numbers or whatever. Man, if i ever won the lotto i'd acredit the numbers to a fortune cookie! That'd be hilarious. And there's the whole "in bed" thing. It's great. You will have good fortune...in bed! Ahahaha. Nice.

If i made one i'd write down, "You ate too much" Ahahaha, you know it's true. You can't go to a chinese buffet and not eat too much. It's like against the rules.

And yes, there are ninjas in chinese restaurants. They take your plates when you go up to get more food. You never see them.
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There's only one thing I don't like about some fortune cookies, and that's when they don't tell you your fortune. "You enjoy the finer things in life, and have an old soul." That's not a fortune. That's a freaking insight! You might as well start calling them Insightful Cookies, if that's all they're going to give me.


"You will become aroused by a shampoo commercial." -Fortune cookie written by Homer Simpson. Best. Fortune. Ever.
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[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

I don't believe I've ever eaten a fortune cookie, as the local Chinese restaurants don't seem to serve them instead using prawn crackers which give me a sick stomach. As for the little fortune inside, well I suppose there's only so many of them that can be thought up, it's a bit like Penguin bars when the replaced the little titbits of information with crap penguin-related jokes. [/SIZE]

[quote name='Dragon Warrior']It might as well have said, "We're out of ideas, asshat, come back later!"[/quote]

[SIZE=1]That has to be one of the funniest damn insults I've ever heard. Asshat, I'd be more inclined to laugh than feel insulted.[/SIZE]
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  • 2 weeks later...
I must have been sleeping to miss a thread by DW! And one on fortune cookies no less, where the heck have I been?!

I've always loved fortune cookies. I do have a little habit of hanging on to the ones that I find interesting. One cookie my hubby got when he lived in Florida (before we got married of course) said: "Love moves you in a new direction." This was true, he was moving back to Washington state where I live!

Most of the time those cookies just tell you very general things like: "Your work will be appreciated." or like Manic said they seem to be more like Insightful Cookies versus Fortune Cookies.

That entire "in bed" thing is pretty funny. I remember the first time I heard about doing that while out with my friends. We were cracking up so much I am suprised we didn't get kicked out of the restaurant!
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[font=Arial][size=1][color=darkred]I will say one thing, at least for now I love fortune cookies. I find them quite scrumptious. Anyways I really havent eaten one in awhile lol but to the point. [/color][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=1][color=darkred][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=1][color=darkred]I think the best thing about fortune cookies is even if the fortune or "insight" you get toatally sucks, it gets you thinking. It seems like whenever I eat a fortune cookie I read the fortue and sit back and think about my life, and whats happening in it at the time. [/color][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=1][color=darkred][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=1][color=darkred]It also seems to pass te time as well. So next time I'm bored, I'm gonna go buy fortune cookies and eat them and read fortunes lol.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=1][color=darkred][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=1][color=darkred]Anyone ever made fortune cookies? I did once in foods class at school, and we got to put our own fortunes in them and everthing lol.[/color][/size][/font]
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[COLOR=DarkRed]Ohhh fortune cookies never work... just look at this graphic example from three days ago:

"Mr.Baillie, we have your sister. Send us 50,000 by tomorrow or the girl dies!"

See what I mean? Completely unspecific! Is it 50,000 US or CDN? Who's this [I]girl[/I] that's dying?

Nontheless, I DO love Fortune Cookies - they taste friggen delicious, and the paper is easy to chew as well![/COLOR]
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My favourite is buying a huge box of the things wholesale at Chinese New Year--they're damn cheap[er than usual] for a couple weeks a year--and chucking them at people. Even if you don't know them. It makes them happy: "Hey, a cookie!"

: D

The best fortune cookies are like the best back-to-school merchandise--full of Engrish:

[i]You will be have much fortune and esteem.[/i]
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[COLOR=DarkSlateGray]I remember that one day my whole entire had gotten the wierdest fortune cookies...So my teacher for some reason or another bought a whole box of fortune cookies for some project that I cant remember at this moment for half price. I mean there had to be atleast 175 of them in that box or more. We all wondered why she got them all so cheep and we soon found out. Every one of them had the exact same thing written on them..."If you seek for your dreams you will go farther in life."

I dont know why that happened. I can still remember laughing my head off when she found out that they all had that written on it. But it was still fun. I bet that if I left the computer right now i could find...atleast 5 of them somewhere in the open. We eat chinese food that much around here

Ah but I still personaly love fortune cookies. I think they taste good but there was one fortune cookie that I ate that I wont ever forget. The chocholate flavored fortune cookie...[/COLOR]
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Guest Silver Fang
[FONT=Verdana][COLOR=Green]Fortune cookies are fun and they taste good but I don't think I've ever had one that's true[/COLOR][/FONT]
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[size=1][color=slategray]Actually, I was just out for Chinese yesterday with some friends. I never remember my fortunes... but they are always... interesting. Haha, I always play the "in bed" game with people when we get our fortune cookies. Like, yesterday, my friend Jacob read his and it said, "You will be loyal to your family"... in bed. Heh.
Another one that James got was, "You will be king of the world"... in bed. Or something like that. So he said, "Yes! I'm going to be a sex god, biznitches!" We get some of the oddest results in that game.

I remember I used to [I]love[/I] fortune cookies. I could eat them non-stop. Because of that, someone got me a whole bag of them for my birthday once. Trust me, that turned me off of them for quite some time.
The ones that they give you at our Chinese resturant aren't the best, but they are okay. I'm not completely wild about them anymore, but I'll eat them.[/color][/size]
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[quote name='Dragon Warrior]It might as well have said, "We're out of ideas, asshat, come back later!"[/quote][quote=Gavin][size=1']That has to be one of the funniest damn insults I've ever heard. Asshat, I'd be more inclined to laugh than feel insulted.[/size][/quote]
[color=#9933ff]Haha. Yes, I totally agree. That made me crack up, DW.

Shadowofdeath13 - You made fortune cookies in school (foods class)? Oooh. That has got to be the coolest thing. I'm really jealous, and I wish I could make them. ;_;

Godelsensei - Chucking cookies at people? That's a good idea, because oddly enough, you're [i]right[/i]. When I get a fortune cookie, I'm ALWAYS happy. Yeah. People doing good deeds and randomly cheering up people! Power to them!

I'd like to point out that Fortune Cookies are pretty much an American made invention. If you go to China and ask for one, no one will know what the hell you're talking about. I know there's a couple other Chinese dishes that were created in America around the time when they came over to work on the railroad and such.

The only things my friends and I do with fortune cookies is sometimes make up our own, using "Confucius say..." which isn't nearly as funny as "...in bed," I'm afraid. ;_; Ah well. *shrug* [/color]
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I've always thought that fortune cookies were kind of fun. Even if the sayings in them were on the cheesy side. And they are quite yummy to eat. Though the one I got last time said I would soon meet the woman of my dreams. Kind of amusing as I usually date guys and not other girls.
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[color=Blue]I think the best fortune I ever saw in a fortune cookie would be one that my friend got. It said "Borrow money from a pessimist, they won't expect it back." I laughed for a while at that one.

The problem is that fortune cookies do not contain fortunes any more. They try to tell you about yourself now - "You enjoy reading a good book." How is that a fortune? Oh well, they're still fun ^_^[/color]
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[COLOR=Navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][QUOTE=Hopealostdream]My last one said:
"You will go far in buisness and pleasure"

... in bed?

^_^[/QUOTE]

Hehe... :rolleyes:

A friend of mine made up an ironic story about fortune cookies once...

"A man ate a fortune cookie once, and the fortune with it... and one day he had to go to an operation. The doctor told him he was nervous, but the man said that he didn't mind. Due to his shakey hand, he cut his stomach open. The doctor then noticed a piece of paper in the man's stomach and took it out. "You're never gonna beliece this," the doctor said, 'This fortune you ate says, 'Your wife is cheating on you.' 'I KNEW IT!!!' was the man's last words."

It made me laugh only because it caught me off guard... :animeswea [/FONT][/COLOR]
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[QUOTE=Tatsubei Yagyu][color=navy][font=Comic Sans MS]

Hehe... :rolleyes:

A friend of mine made up an ironic story about fortune cookies once...

"A man ate a fortune cookie once, and the fortune with it... and one day he had to go to an operation. The doctor told him he was nervous, but the man said that he didn't mind. Due to his shakey hand, he cut his stomach open. The doctor then noticed a piece of paper in the man's stomach and took it out. "You're never gonna beliece this," the doctor said, 'This fortune you ate says, 'Your wife is cheating on you.' 'I KNEW IT!!!' was the man's last words."

It made me laugh only because it caught me off guard... :animeswea [/font][/color][/QUOTE][size=1][color=darkred]Haha lol it made my laugh cuz I have a twisted sense of humor:animedepr . Anyways I went for lunch at a chinese restraunt the other day and I though about this thread. I was gonna grab like 5 fortune cookies so I could come and share with you all but I forgot :animecry: . So maybe tomorrow I'll go and remember fortune cookies;).[/color][/size]
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[QUOTE=Tatsubei Yagyu][COLOR=Navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS]

Hehe... :rolleyes:

A friend of mine made up an ironic story about fortune cookies once...

"A man ate a fortune cookie once, and the fortune with it... and one day he had to go to an operation. The doctor told him he was nervous, but the man said that he didn't mind. Due to his shakey hand, he cut his stomach open. The doctor then noticed a piece of paper in the man's stomach and took it out. "You're never gonna beliece this," the doctor said, 'This fortune you ate says, 'Your wife is cheating on you.' 'I KNEW IT!!!' was the man's last words."

It made me laugh only because it caught me off guard... :animeswea [/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[color=#9933ff]Wow. That is a funny story. The chances of someone having an operation are high today, so I was actually thinking the story was real, and I was like "poor guy - he finds out his wife is cheating on him, and then he dies. =( " And then I read your last sentence and remembered it was just a story. ^_^;;; I'm kinda glad, or I'd be feeling sorry for that guy. >__>;;; [/color]
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