Nerves

[Your Mother]

[SIZE=1]How do you calm your nerves?

Everytime I'm about to do something in front of many others, ex. try out for a sport or speak to everyone, I get about a hundred butterflies crashing around in my stomach. I can't help it. Sometimes I wish I were bolder. In the case of sport tryouts, I get nervous and perform far from my best, landing me no chance whatsoever. Does anyone know how to help? [/SIZE]

[Sandy]

Your problem is obviously that you predict your failure before it happens and you worry about your nerves, so [I]of course[/I] you get even more nervous!

Unfortunately bad nerves is something that one has to solve oneself. It's a matter of lacking self-confidence and overly thinking about what others think.

I've had bad nerves in the past, but my years of acting in theater and in school plays have given me loads of self-confidence when it comes to presenting things in front of others. Added to that, I actually went to a "high school" that focused on performing arts, so we actually [I]studied[/I] this issue there.

So, my advice to you is that you must stop thinking negatively about performing, and figure out the best way for you to focus on relevant things yourself. There are no magic tricks that will help you here, it all starts from your own attitude. ;)

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=#FF374C][SIZE=1]I think different people react to nerves in different ways. For example: I still get nervous when I do a play, a speech in class or other such things. But for me it doesn't lessen my performance, it actually makes it better.

See, I'm very pride driven so when I get nervous I feel that showing those nerves will make people think I'm not as good as I am, therefore I boost up my abilities even though I still feel like my hands are shaking.

Admittedly I'm not as nervous now about acting as I used to be, but that's because I've been doing it for a very long time and I'm one of those lucky people who don't get too nervous in those situations.

I think, as Sage kind of pointed out, nerves are a case of mind over matter. If you believe you can do it, the nerves will still be there, but you?ll be able to push them down enough to carry out whatever it is you?re doing.

Oh, and that thing about imagining your audience naked or in funny hats? Never worked for me.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Sara]

[quote name='Sage]Your problem is obviously that you predict your failure before it happens and you worry about your nerves, so [I]of course[/I'] you get even more nervous![/quote][color=#6699cc]Oh, obviously. :rolleyes:

I get nervous before speeches and plays (and sporting events, and the first day of class, and tests, etc.) all the time, but I generally go into them convinced that I'm going to do well. It doesn't keep me from being nervous.

In general, breathing deeply and sipping ice-cold water or lemonade helps me.

I also try to imagine myself as the other people will see me. Anyone watching will only see my outward appearance, which I can control. [i]I'm[/i] the only one who knows that I'm nervous. If I grin and move confidently, no one can tell that my stomach is twisted in a knot. Oddly enough, it helps.

Viewing myself from a stranger's point of view (as a generic female college student) makes things much easier. Go figure.[/color]

[Sandy]

My point [I]exactly[/I], Sara. Every person has different methods of calming down nerves, and none of them work for everybody, so it's up to oneself to figure out the best way.

And don't get all snarky at me! ;P I was just trying to pin-point the problematic attitude that Your Mother seems to have if I've interpreted his post right. The best way to start a problem is to analyze what the reasons behind the problem are, and work on them.

I'm sounding like I think I'm some kind of professional therapist now, am I... :/

[James]

[font=franklin gothic medium]My mother once told me that the best way to avoid shyness is to remember that the average person on the street doesn't care about you at all. It sounds harsh, but it's true and it works! :lecture:

If you watch someone else give a speech or walk past you or whatever - even if you notice them - they'll probably be out of your mind in a moment. They won't make a huge difference to your day. You have to think about yourself in that sense, as Sara said, from other people's eyes.

I mean, if I watched a speech and the person did a horrible job or something, I really wouldn't think much of it. I wouldn't be thinking about it for years to come, you know? So if you have that attitude, that you're "just another person", it can help in these situations.

I'm only really reiterating what Sara said and I'm doing it in a more confusing way. So yeah, just read her post.[/font] :sweat:

[Shinmaru]

I still get a bit nervous before speaking in front of a crowd, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. I'll probably never get over it completely, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with having some nerves before doing something. I'm not really nervous when actually [i]speaking[/i] in front of a large amount of people, so long as I know exactly what I want to talk about. Personally I've taken to volunteering to go first whenever presentations and whatnot pop up so that I can get it over with sooner. I don't like putting up with nerves for very long lol.

Lore's suggestions are also good - taking a few deep breaths works out nicely for me. Also, if you're doing a group thing, talking with those in the same boat as you are helps out. Personally it's more than a bit comforting that even if anything goes wrong, I won't be the only one looking like an idiot lol.

[Shadow Blade]

[SIZE=2][COLOR=SlateGray][FONT=Courier New]shyness.....

how much I hate that word.

Like you I hate doing speeches, having to stand in front of a crowd suddenly feeling exposed is a uncomfortable feeling. My Father is always reminded that they don't know me and that I shouldn't a damn about what they think. Two remember to breathe. Three stay focus, and just pretend that your talking to the people your comfortable talking with. And four think of it this way you have more guts to stand in front of a crowd and declare your point. I don't know if this tips are any good, but for me they work just fine.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Pumpkin]

[SIZE=1]I have horrible nerves when it comes to giving a speech or public speaking infront of a class. I have trouble especially when I know everyone in that class, it's better when it's strangers. For some reason, even though I've almost gotten over this fear, it always comes back to me. I've never really find a "cure" but the best attitude I can go about it is, so what if you screw up? Would if you do really badly? You think everyone's really going to waste their time remembering it? When your older, it's not really important to focus on such petty details.

I don't know whether or not I look nervous, I'm told I don't majority of the time but my belly ties in knots. Remember to talk loud as it shows your confident and stay on topic. That's the hardest point for me, as I somehow get memory loss. I love to do presentations with notecards for this occasion. It really isn't so bad once you get passed the point that, you shouldn't care what others think of you. Just think it's about the grade, not the class. Focus on that and that pretty much works for me.

I agree with [i]Imi[/i], imagining people in underwear and funny hats doesn't work, and if it did, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to talk. Some people you just don't want to imagine in their underwear. O.o;[/SIZE]

[Delta]

[COLOR=DarkGoldenRod][SIZE=1]I just go for it. Them butterflies take waaay too long to settle down and the show must start [i]now[/i]. Wasting the audience's time would have a negative impact on the how they will react to your performance.

So yeah, maybe that's how I calm my nerves. I think more of the inconvenience I would cause if I allowed stage fright to get the better of me. As a member of the audience, I surely wouldn't want the performer to back out on me, yeah?[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Goodbye, Face]

[font=trebuchet ms]I'm kind of with Imi on this one. I have horrible stage fright, so I use it to make me better. It's easy to tell how nervous I am in the beginning, but as I get into a presentation (etc) I make it more fun. I'm actually known in most of my classes as the guy that does great speeches.

If I have any problems beyond that, it's that I stutter a lot, I also misuse one word in place of another. I'd be more interested in getting rid of that.[/font]

[Kuroshin13]

Personally, I have no problem getting up infront of the class or anything to make a speach or something. I remember that most of them hate me (and I don't really care an inkling about them or what they think), and know already that the amount of people acually listening is close to zero. Also with plays. I can act fine, since it's not necessarily "me" up there. :catgirl:

But it helps initially for me to add at least one 'joke' or 'witty' comment as I go, maybe an amusing observation that's relevent. (IE, one of the important people i mentioned in my triboard report on Korea looked exactly like my social teacher. With a longer beard. Even he laughed when I pointed it out.) For me it works, even if it fails to lighten the mood and no one finds it funny. Then I'm too down to be nervous. :animeswea

:animedepr However, I can't get rid of my nerves when I have to read something that I wrote...Like a creative story, poem, etc. But I found so far, that if I consentrate on what I'm saying alone, I can make it through without many of those 'uhhs', 'ums', etc.

But that's just me.

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

I personally find the only times my nerves affect me enough to actually be a problem is when I sit very important tests, such as my Junior Cert in 2002. I haven't done huge amounts of acting, and my last major performance was just over three years ago but I've never found acting to be terribly nerve wracking, in fact I find it rather thrilling.

I suppose the main reason why I don't find speaking in front of others to be uncomfortable is because I've been doing it since I was much younger. Back as young as six when we were doing biblical plays, well as much as you can do biblical plays with six years olds, and I was the narrator. This meant effectively I was telling the story, at age six in what was then my local Church in front of maybe two three thousand adults. So in other words stage fright left me over a decade ago.

I find tests get me all tensed up for one simple reason, I'm my own worst critic and suffer from bad self-doubt when it comes to my educational standards. Whenever a test is put in front of me I can feel my heart go up into my throat and just hope that it works out alright. I find breathing through my nose helps to calm my nerves and then I just do my best and hope that everything works out.

Just out of sheer curiosity, did anyone else ever find signing up to RPGs written by other people after you'd just joined to be kind of unnerving ?[/SIZE]