Which songs have the funniest or most interesting lyrics?

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Okay, so I'm listening to my Ataris CD and [b]I won't spend another night alone[/b] comes on. It's a nice song, but some of the lyrics are really odd. Example:

[center][i]The things you make me want to do
I'd rob a Quick-ee mart for you
I'd go to the pound
and let all the cats run free.[/i][/center]

So that's why I'm wondering what songs do you think have some funny lyrics.

Aside from the aforementioned song I think that Excuse me (AKA the Daria theme song) by Splendora is kind of funny

[center][i]I've got to be direct(la, la, la)
It's like a big train wreck(la, la, la)
You're standing on my neck(la, la, la)
You're standing on my neck(la, la, la)
You're standing...

[Bridge]
Nothing is like I planned it
So funny I can't stand it
Wish I was made of granite
(Daria) I must be on another planet [/i][/center]

So share your choices. Make sure to include the artist.[/color]

[aizima]

:catgirl: Well, I heard this funny song by an odd named group: The Bare Naked Ladies. This one part caught me( although, the whole song is strange):




[CENTER]I can't help it if I thinkn you're funny when you're mad, I try hard not to smile, though I feel bad, I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, can't understand what I mean, you soon will, I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleave, I have a history of losing my shirt......[/CENTER]



I fell in love with it! Does that make me wierd? :animeswea

[Lafleur]

[COLOR=DarkRed]I find the random poetism of this one song by the Tragically Hip quiet interesting:

[I] Everyone's got their breaking point, with me it's spiders
And with you it's me, thugs in perpetuity
When we're excited little birds, around the feeder
The cat's indifferent or he's just furious, it seems that he's never neither

I do the rolling you do the detail (I do the rolling you do the detail)
I do the rolling you do the detail (I do the rolling you do the detail)[/I]

Here's another from the Hip:

[I]
but your finger starts to wiggle and landscapes emerge[/I]

The Tragically Hip are a treasure trove of lyrics I find interesting:

[I]The man 'cross the street he don't move a muscle
Though he's all covered in dust
When constitutions of granite can't save the planet (Can't save the planet)
What's to become of us[/I]

Again, the Hip:

[I]
You'd be tossed up or washed up
The narrator relates
In a spartan Antarctican walk for many days
Meet with Emperor Penguin devotion to the egg (Emperor Penguin)
And their women are swimming from half an ocean away (Women are swimming)[/I]

And lastly, the whole song 'Throwing Off Glass', by the, you guessed it, Tragically Hip deserves a mention:

[I] "Why is the world so creepy?" she asked
After a car full of haircuts drove past
A backseat full of 'the boys'

I told her that 'It isn't...
that...that it's exquisite
but like love, it has it's barbarous threats

Still in spite of the cads
and the stoop-shouldered teens
I know I'm losing you
I know what that means, yea

I told her that it isn't
That it's real exquisite
but like love, it can have it's
stubbed-toe effects

And just like after she heard
the word 'iridescent'
and everything was iridescent for awhile,
It wasn't long
before she exalted out of nowhere,
'Isn't this exquisite?'

Once you've said 'mmm' in unison
and 'oh' in double surprise
and shared relief with a mutual 'phew'
and a look in each others' eyes

I tell her that is isn't
Insisted that it isn't
because like love
it has too-cunning effects

I told her that it isn't
that it's just exquisite
because like love it has
it's barbarous threats

'Why is the world so creepy?' she asked
after a car full of haircuts drove past
a backseat full of the boys
Breaking glass
Throwing off glass.[/I]

Those are just some lyrics that I find interesting, though not neceseraliy funny.[/COLOR]

[kenshinsbabe]

[SIZE=2][FONT=Georgia]In the Greenday song "Basket Case", there's a lyric that goes like this:

"[I]I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams, she said it's lack of sex that's bringin' me down.
I went to a whore, he said my life's a bore so quit my whining cuz it's bringing her down.[/I]"

Anyone catch that? XD My older sister and I think it's the funniest thing ever. [/FONT] [/SIZE]

[Osaka]

So far the funniest song lyrics I've heard was from Ludacris.

the song is called hip hop Quotables on the chicken and beer album.

and the point of the song is that he's making fun of the things that him and other rap artis say when they rap.

"From your card to a crap game no one rolls wit you. One of Mini Me's shoes got more soul than you. So by the time you figur out why your record ain't spinnin I'm in the strip club smokin wit President clinton :animesigh "

"So wash all your sin's away and stop play'in if Gods line is busy you might have to two way him.And catch me in your backyard play'in crokay and i'm drunk i'm tellin kids drugs are bad M'kay?"

I know people on here dont like rap but give this song a chance :catgirl:

[Rhym]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=DarkSlateGray]One of my favorite bands of all time, Sonata Arctica, has really great lyrics. For being from Scandinavia, Tony Kakko sure has a poetic grasp of English (although his accent is still pretty pronounced). One of the funniest things about them is the fact that they write so many love songs. When the average person hears "love song", they'll probably think "ballad" or maybe "pop-punk". Sonata Arctica writes Symphonic Power Metal love songs. Here's some lyrics from "San Sebastian":

[i]Sun of San Sebastian, oh why I cannot say
She's all I ever dreamed, but now my skies are turning gray.
It was good I got to know her well, because it made me see
That the sun of San Sebastian is just too hot for me.

Every single day, for the rest of my way
I live without my love, my God, I have to stay in shade
When I'm old and gray, I remember that day
When she came, that perfect dame and... she blew me away![/i]

Good times, good times.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Goodbye, Face]

[font=trebuchet ms]I'm saddened by the fact that after this many posts, no one has brought up Between the Buried and Me's silly lyrics. This is "Anablephobia" from their cd [u]The Silent Circus[/u]

[i]Clowns now appear. They are all carrying knives and cups of
gasoline. "Tonight is our death." The clowns then begin to slash each
other...the skies open up, the flames pour in...the world watched in awe.
MESMERIZED. The populations soon follow the clown's lead. Death is in
the air. The three adults once again start talking...they ask questions
of faith and love. "We shall live past these days, rid of all we've
done." I see what they mean now...but the wretched smell has overcome...I
am gone...THE BABY BORN WITH THE END OF THE WORLD...Awake...
The five of us haven't spoken in hours. Sitting alone to our own
thoughts. Only we will know what strange things boredom has created.[/i]

Good music, though, don't let their ridiculous lyrics stop you from listening to them metal/hardcore heads! :)[/font]

[Guest IcyGirl]

I think "Peaches" by the Presidents of the USA is funny, catchy, and wonderful.
Here are the lyrics:
"...Movin? to the country I?m gonna eat a lot of peaches
Peaches come from a can they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way I?d eat peaches everyday..."

[PWNED]

The Funniest lyrics are definetly "Look on the Bright Side of Life" by the Monty Python crew from 'Life of Brian'. Its funnier more about the situation but I will not tell anyone what it is but just try and tell me that you cannot smile while watching them sing it.

The most interesting lyrics I have heard from a band is definetly "Do or Die" by Papa Roach off of their album "Getting away with Murder". It has fairly strong lyrics and I can put up what a person thinks that it is about, courtesy of songmeanings.com

[QUOTE]
'The song is about a person who looked up to someone else all his life. His hero was always there for him, always backing him up when he felt so alone, always reaching out for him.

But now this world can be toxic and the strong can become weak within the snap of a finger.

Now his hero has fallen. He is losing his ground. He is falling a part.

Now this kid has become a man and he's ready to give back to his hero. To help him out because it hurts him so to see his hero sitting there with his head in his hands, slowly losing his insanity.'[/QUOTE]

Strong Analysis isn't it? And now here are the real lyrics as well as special comments on key lines by yours truly.

Today I saw my hero fall apart
The one who taught me to be strong ([I]I saw someone who I looked up to and who taught me to be strong break down[/I])
On the outside I looked fine
But on the inside I am dying ([I]It may not show on my face but inwardly it feels like a chunk of myself has died[/I])
My strength is overcome by pain
My love for you remains the same (Even though It pains me to see this happen to you, I still love and respect you)
The lonelyness is setting in
I have no one to free my sins (I now feel alone because i have no one to relieve myself emotionally with)

It's never to late to live your life
The time is now it's do or die (It isn't too late to live, The time you can do it is now, its do now or never do)
It's never to late to live your life
The time is now it's yours and mine (As above but the last half is The time for both of us to do this is now)

Now it's my turn to help you out
'Cause you were there when I was down ([I]Now that you have helped me so much, I am prepared to help you[/I])
It's hard for me to see you this way
Losing all your sanity ([I]I can't stand seeing you living in fear and insanity[/I])
You helped me keep my dreams alive
Without you how will I survive? ( [I]I don't know if I could live without you because you were there showing me what to do and encouraging me[/I])
It's time for me to be a man
Now I finally understand ([I]Its time for me to do this now that I finally understand it[/I])

It's never to late to live your life
The time is now it's do or die
It's never to late to live your life
The time is now it's yours and mine x2

I can't run anymore
I can't hide anymore
I can't run anymore
I can't hide anymore ([I]I can't run away from my responsibility anymore and I can't hide from it anymore either[/I])

Today I saw my hero fall apart
The one who taught me to be strong
On the outside I looked fine
But on the inside I am dying (I hate to repeat myself again)

It's never to late to live your life
The time is now it's do or die
It's never to late to live your life
The time is now it's yours and mine x3

I can't run anymore
I can't hide anymore
I can't run anymore
I can't hide anymore

[Lord Dante]

The funniest lyrics have got to be songs done by the brothers chaps and TMBG. things like [I]experimental film[/I], [I]tropical lazor beams[/I], and [I]vitamins and celebrities[/I] pure WTF-age.

[celestialcharm]

[COLOR=DarkOrchid]I first heard this song on SNL (back when it was funny) and I thought it was hilarious and weird. Of course, they might of made changes to it, but here's the full song that's just as strange.

Midnight at the oasis- Maria Muldaur

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Shadows painting our faces
Traces of romance in our heads

Heaven's holding a half moon
Shining just for us
Let's slip off to a sand dune, real soon
Kick up a little dust

Oh, Cactus is our friend
He'll point out the way
Come on 'til the evening ends
'Til the evening ends

You don't have to answer
There's no need to speak
I'll be your belly dancer, [romancer]
And you can be my sheik

I know your daddy's a sultan
A nomad known to all
With fifty girls to attend him, they all send him
Jump at his beck and call

But you won't need no harem, honey
When I'm by your side
And you won't need no camel, oh no
When I take you for a ride

Oh, Cactus is our friend
He'll point out the way
Come on 'til the evening ends
'Til the evening ends

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Shadows painting our faces
Traces of romance in our heads[/COLOR]

[Jeebs]

[QUOTE=kenshinsbabe][SIZE=2][FONT=Georgia]In the Greenday song "Basket Case", there's a lyric that goes like this:

"[I]I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams, she said it's lack of sex that's bringin' me down.
I went to a whore, he said my life's a bore so quit my whining cuz it's bringing her down.[/I]"

Anyone catch that? XD My older sister and I think it's the funniest thing ever. [/FONT] [/SIZE][/QUOTE]
Yeah, I was listening to Dookie last week and I noticed that (I assume that you're talking about how he called the whore a he and then a her).

One of the funniest songs I've ever heard is the hidden track "Wayne Gretzky" off of the Goldfinger album Open Your Eyes:

[i]Wayne Gretzky, the only man I'd have sex with
Wayne Gretzky, I'd be intimate with
Wayne Gretzky, I think he's kinda sexy
Wayne Gretzky, I wonder what he looks like naked

I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league's leading scorer

Wayne Gretzky, I know he's a married man
But maybe, he'd be attracted to me
Darrin Pfeiffer, stupid American boy
Wayne Gretzky, very handsome Canadian man

I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league's leading scorer

[spoken]
Yeah, I wonder what it would be like?
Ah, it'll never happen, it's just a pipe dream.
Wait a minute -- I'm not even gay, I'm married!
Pssh, whatever.

Wayne Gretzky
I love you Wayne Gretzky, yeah[/i]

[Lafleur]

[QUOTE=Angel]Yeah, I was listening to Dookie last week and I noticed that (I assume that you're talking about how he called the whore a he and then a her).

One of the funniest songs I've ever heard is the hidden track "Wayne Gretzky" off of the Goldfinger album Open Your Eyes:

[i]Wayne Gretzky, the only man I'd have sex with
Wayne Gretzky, I'd be intimate with
Wayne Gretzky, I think he's kinda sexy
Wayne Gretzky, I wonder what he looks like naked

I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league's leading scorer

Wayne Gretzky, I know he's a married man
But maybe, he'd be attracted to me
Darrin Pfeiffer, stupid American boy
Wayne Gretzky, very handsome Canadian man

I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league's leading scorer

[spoken]
Yeah, I wonder what it would be like?
Ah, it'll never happen, it's just a pipe dream.
Wait a minute -- I'm not even gay, I'm married!
Pssh, whatever.

Wayne Gretzky
I love you Wayne Gretzky, yeah[/i][/QUOTE]

How did Goldfinger get my bloody song? THAT WAS FOR WAYNE'S EARS ONLY!

Erm... but anyway...

Another wierd bunch of lyrics from Jack Black and KG, better known as Tenecaious D:

**** Her Gently:

[I]This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to **** her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And ****** give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna **** you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's ****** teamwork
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it
But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll ****** **** you discreetly
And then I'll ******* bone you completely
But then I'm gonna **** you hard
Hard

Rock Your Socks Off:

[Dave Grohl (spoken):] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-6-6!

[sung]
It doesn't matter if it is good,
It only matters if it rocks.
The main thing that we do is to rock your socks off.
There's no such thing as a rock prodigy,
'Cause rock 'n roll is bogus, right KG? (right!)
Only thing that really matters is a classical sauce.
And that's why me and KG are classically trained
To rock your ******' socks off!
Give 'em a taste KG.
[KG (spoken):] Okay.

That is Bach and it rocks
It's a rock block of Bach
That he learned in the school
Called the school of hard knocks!

Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for rock,
Give it up for blues,
Give it up for everything that is not to lose.
Now rock your socks off woman,
We'll rock your **** up y'all.
Give it up children now to freak your **** out!
All right!

[spoken]
Now I know what a lot of you are sayin':
"I just figured out what I'm 'onna do with the rest of my days.
I'm 'onna get me an oversized guitar, gain forty pounds and be the next D.
" Well I got sour news for you, jack. It ain't that easy.
For instance, are you willing to make the commitment to wakin' up
at the crack a' noon, for deep-knee rock squats!?
Seven or eight at a time!? In a row?
How 'bout are you willing to make the commitment
to rock-hard tasty abs washer-board style?
Glistening in the sun. How 'bout are you willin' to make the commitment,
wakin' up, goin' okay, it's gig time, what t-shirt am I gonna wear?
Can't decide: Can't decide: Brain aneurysm!
We've been through so much ******** just to be here tonight
to rock your ******' socks off. And all we ask in return is so precious little.
All we're askin' you to do is drop trou and squeeze out
a Cleveland Steamer on my chest.

[sung]
2-3-4,
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for rock, give it up for blues,
Give it up for everything that is not to lose.
Now rock your socks off woman,
We'll rock your **** up y'all.
Give it up children won't you freak your **** out!
All right!
[ad-lib hollers & screams] [/i]

[Caesura]

[size=1]I know this song is meant to be sad and such things as that but some of the imagery makes me laugh, very hard. My friends and I sing this in math class, and call us immature but we can't get over how funny it is. Maybe we're just weird. Pink Floyd - Hey You.mp3:

[i]Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles, can you feel me

Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me
Hey you, with your ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone
Open your heart, I'm coming home

But it was only fantasy
The wall was too high as you can see
No matter how he tried he could not break free
And the worms ate into his brain[/i][/size]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

Well at the moment I'm listening to a [B]Queen: Greatest Hits[/B] CD that I received from Christmas last year and on said CD, there's a track called [I]I Want to Break Free[/I]. Now while anyone who has seen the music video to the song will see the entertainment to it, the true entertainment when listening to the song for me comes from the TV ads for Eircom (the main Irish telecom provider) used the song as well as one of Ireland's funniest comedians in it's ad campaign.

Unless you were to actually see the ads themselves you probably wouldn't fully get the joke, but those ads spawned a comedy show on RTE One every Sunday night which is now among the most watched and enjoyed TV shows in Ireland. Another Queen song I find amusing to listen to would be [I]I'm Going Slightly Mad[/i], the song itself seems morbid enough but truly there in lies the humour. [/SIZE]

[LostProphet]

I love this song....reminds me of...me, really....Billys Got His Beer Goggles On by Neil McCoy

Billy's at the bar.
He's been there all night.
First ten beers he's had since her goodbye.
Hey Hey
She left him broke in his new truck.
He dont smoke, but he lights one up.
Temporary fix for his heartache.
He's hurting bad, but he's feeling great.

He's on the dance floor yellin freebird.
Singin off pitch, but he knows every word.
Grabs him a girl and he holds on tight.
He's chasin everything in sight.
He'll fall apart when he gets home.
But right now his worries are gone.
Life looks good good good.
Billy's got his beer goggles on.Hey

Alot of drunks get real mean.
They'll pick a fight over anything.
Billy wants to laugh that's why he's here.
Won't see him cry unless you spill his beer.

He's on the dance floor yellin freebird.
Singin off pitch, but he knows every word.
Grabs him a another girl and holds on tight.
He's chasin everything in sight.
He'll fall apart when he gets home.
But right now his worries are gone.
Life looks good good good.
Billy's got his beer goggles....on.

He's on the dance floor yellin freebird.
Singin off pitch, but he knows every word.
Grabs him a another girl and holds on tight.
He don't see ugly through blood shot eyes.
He'll fall apart when he gets home.
But right now his worries are gone.
Life looks good good good.
so good good good.
Life looks good good good.
Billy's got his beer goggles..... on.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE=LostProphet]I love this song....reminds me of...me, really....Billys Got His Beer Goggles On by Neil McCoy
.[/QUOTE]

[color=darkviolet]- You are so right. Oh and you forgot the part where he says: Hey Get up Billy

Let;s see,. your Horoscope for today by Weird Al is funny:

WEIRD AL YANKOVIC LYRICS

"Your Horoscope For Today"

Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quick

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of the is absolutely true.

Where was I?

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you call screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never, never, never, never, never leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)
That's your horoscope for today

Another one is Fall Out BOy- Sugar We're going down.

I don't know which part of that song is more interesting: The line where he says he wishes he was the friction in her jeans or The chorus with a loaded God complex WTF is that anyway?[/color]

[densuke]

I am not going to type out a bunch of lyrics. Lyrics are supposed to go with music -- they don't hold up as a written-word form, no matter how many misguided English teachers or whatever wish it wasn't so.

I always liked a lot of the early Who songs because they were rather witty and silly. Loads of Guided By Voices songs are striking because they are non-linear but loaded with great lines. And a guy from New Jersey (or Nashville, TN if you take it back that far) named R. Stevie Moore came up with perhaps hundreds of funny and witty song titles and lyrics in his time.

[Jakehammaren]

This is "Axes of Evil" by 3 Inches of Blood. I chose because it's AWESOME! I mean, just read it! What a story, man! METAL!

[I]Hark! A scout has reached the gate, bringing news of war
In a fortnight they'll be here, legions of the nameless fear
Our king - he cannot lead! Our king is growing old
With a courageous cry, a young man rises from the fold
The answer we seek lies in the frozen wastes
I leave at dawn with haste for...
Axes of Evil!

Astonished faces look his way, as the hopeful carry horror in their hearts
Uncertain of a power that malice forged in steel
I must face this threat that challenges our lives
I'll strike out with vengeance, I'll reap from their demise

No! You must not seek the blades, it's said that they are cursed
Possesses you if they're found, to the dreadlord they are bound
Cutting flesh for him to eat, bloody raw Lucifer meat
Peril awaits you in the fjords, we cannot lose you to the...

Axes of Evil, strong not feeble
Axes of Evil, come on!
Axes of Evil, our fates wrapped in steel
Axes of Evil, come on!

Come on!

The future of our land lies in the balance
You must go to save us all

At last they're found floating in a crystal orb
Speak the incantation written on the wall
In a blinding flash the axes fly into his hands
Too much power for him to bear, he'll wreak havoc on the land

Wreaking havoc on the land

Axes of Evil, our fates wrapped in steel
Axes of Evil, come on!
Axes of Evil will kill all the people
Axes of Evil, come on!

Axes of Evil!

Here comes our hero, back from his quest
Here to save us all, deliver us from death...

On the fourteenth morning's chill, from the rampart he is spotted on the hill
With a look of burning poison that fills his eyes with rage
"I have returned to put an end to all your lives
With no remorse I will reap from your demise!"

Axes of Evil![/I]

Come on. You know that was friggin' EPIC. And Metal.

[Cat]

[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]One of the interesting songs that I like is Billy Idol's Scream. What gets you with this song is that You sing along to it befor you understand what he really talking about. I would post the lyrics but I think they might be a little to graphic if you get what I mean and if you don't just pm me and I'll give you the lyrics.[/color][/size][/font]

[size=2][color=indigo][/color][/size]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Another song thats just plain werid is a song by a band called Ghost of the Robot. The song is called David Letterman.[/color][/size][/font]
[size=2][color=indigo][/color][/size]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Heres the song,[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo][/color][/size][/font]
[size=2][color=indigo][/color][/size]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Wouldn't it be nice, If I could be, David Letterman[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Wouldn't it be rad, if I could be, your favorite t.v. personality?[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Wouldn't it be sweet, if I could laugh you to sleep, five nights a week?[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]And I try as hard as I can, but I could never be David Letterman...[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]I know he knows you look up to him, [/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]but you don't visit his sleep,[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]I know I know this is what I miss, your eyes are just for me, [/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]really can't see how we could be, I still put trust in fate,[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]it's something slow that I don't know so I say...[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Wouldn't it be nice, If I could be, David Letterman[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Wouldn't it be rad, if I could be, your favorite t.v. personality?[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]Wouldn't it be sweet, if I could laugh you to sleep, five nights a week?[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=indigo]And I try as hard as I can, but I could never be David Letterman...[/color][/size][/font]
[color=#000000][color=#000000][font=Courier New][size=2]
[/size][/font][/color][/color]

[Lafleur]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Jake, if ya wanna play Epics....

Cygnus X-1 Book I: The Voyag by RUSH

[I]Prologue:
In the constellation of Cygnus, there lurks a mysterious, invisible force: the black hole of Cygnus X-1....

Six Stars of the Northern Cross
In mourning for their sister's loss
In a final flash of glory
Nevermore to grace the night...

1.
Invisible to telescopic eye
Infinity, the star that would not die

All who dare to cross her course
Are swallowed by her fearsome force

Through the void
To be destroyed
Or is there something more?
Atomized...at the core?
Or through the Astral Door?
To soar...

2.
I set a course just east of Lyra
And northwest of Pegasus
Flew into the light of Deneb
Sailed across the Milky Way
On my ship, the "Rocinante"
Wheeling through the galaxies,
Headed for the heart of Cygnus
Headlong into mystery

The x-ray is her siren song
My ship cannot resist her long
Nearer to my deadly goal
Until the black hole
Gains control...

3.
Spinning, whirling,
Still descending
Like a spiral sea,
Unending...

Sound and fury
Drown my heart
Every nerve
Is torn apart...

To be continued...

And it's Sequal, Cygnus X-1 Book II: Hemispheres

I. Prelude

When our weary world was young
The struggle of the ancients first began.
The gods of Love and Reason
Sought alone to rule the fate of Man.

They battled through the ages,
But still neither force would yield.
The people were divided,
Every soul a battlefield.

II. Apollo/Dionysus

Apollo: Bringer of Wisdom
"I bring truth and understanding,
I bring wit and wisdom fair,
Precious gifts beyond compare.
We can build a world of wonder,
I can make you all aware.
I will find you food and shelter,
Show you fire to keep you warm
Through the endless winter storm.
You can live in grace and comfort
In the world that you transform."

The people were delighted
Coming forth to claim their prize
They ran to build their cities
And converse among the wise.
But one day the streets fell silent,
Yet they knew not what was wrong.
The urge to build these fine things
Seemed not to be so strong.
The wise men were consulted,
And the Bridge of Death was crossed
In quest of Dionysus
To find out what they had lost.

Dionysus: Bringer of Love
"I bring love to give you solace
In the darkness of the night,
In the Heart's eternal light.
You need only trust your feelings;
Only love can steer you right.
I bring laughter, I bring music,
I bring joy and I bring tears.
I will soothe your primal fears.
Throw off those chains of reason
And your prison disappears."

The cities were abandoned,
And the forests echoed song.
They danced and lived as brothers;
They knew love could not be wrong.
Food and wine they had aplenty
And they slept beneath the stars.
The people were contented
And the gods watched from afar.
But the winter fell upon them
And it caught them unprepared,
Bringing wolves and cold starvation,
And the hearts of men despaired.

III. Armageddon: The Battle of Heart and Mind

The universe divided
As the Heart and Mind collided,
With the people left unguided
For so many troubled years.
In a cloud of doubts and fears,
Their world was torn asunder into hollow
Hemispheres.

Some fought themselves, some fought each other,
Most just followed one another
Lost and aimless like their brothers
For their hearts were so unclear
And the truth could not appear
Their spirits were divided into blinded
Hemispheres.

Some who did not fight
Brought tales of old to light.
"My Rocinante sailed by night
On her final flight."
To the heart of Cygnus' fearsome force
We set our course
Spiralled through that timeless space
To this immortal place.

IV. Cygnus: Bringer of Balance

I have memory and awareness,
But I have no shape or form.
As a disembodied spirit,
I am dead and yet unborn.
I have passed into Olympus
As was told in tales of old,
To the city of Immortals,
Marble white and purest gold...

I see the gods in battle rage on high...
Thunderbolts across the sky...
I cannot move, I cannot hide...
I feel a silent scream begin inside...

Then all at once the chaos ceased
A stillness fell, a sudden peace
The warriors felt my silent cry
And stayed their struggle, mystified.

Apollo was atonished;
Dionysus thought me mad.
But they heard my story further
And they wondered, and were sad.

Looking down from Olympus
On a world of doubt and fear,
Its surface splintered
Into sorry Hemispheres.

They sat a while in silence,
Then they turned at last to me:
"We will call you Cygnus,
The god of Balance you shall be."

V.The Sphere: A Kind of Dream

We can walk our road together
If our goals are all the same.
We can run alone and free
If we pursue a different aim.
Let the Truth of Love be lighted,
Let the Love of Truth shine clear. Sensibility,
Armed with sense and liberty,
With the Heart and Mind united in a single
Perfect
Sphere.[/I][/COLOR]

[AnimeFront]

The song I think has the funniest lyrics is "Hoes In My Room" by Ludacris. Also "**** It All" by Slipknot.


Hey! Thank all yall for comin' out tonight
It was a beautiful night tonight and The Shizznit
Where pimpin' and dead, these hoes just scared
Thanks Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, all the niggas from the LBC
It was a beautiful night tonight
Oh, look at these fools, Ay! Security! Come get these niggaz!

[Verse 1 - Luda (Snoop)]
Fresh off the streets, just finished a show in Long Beach
Ready to relax, kick up my feet
Maybe smoke a blunt or two, that's what I wanna do
Broke out and called up the homeboy Snoop (What happenin' nephew?)
Oh, nothin' just called, lookin' for some women that can fondle my balls
(Well you hit the right dogg, I can help you with that
Gimme 15 minutes, and I'll hit you rite back)
Off to the hotel, I was ready indeed
Slapped the button in the 'llac to control the speed
Put one up in the air, the cops just stared
Waved my hands out the roof like I just ain't care
Got to the tele and I slid thru the door
On to the elevator, hit the penthouse floor
And what would happen next only time could time
Cuz I got up to my room, and I was mad as hell (Aaah! Damn!)

[Chorus]
Who let these hoes in my room? (These hoes)
Who let these hoes in my room?
Who let these hoes in my room? (Did you let 'em in?)
Who let these hoes in my room? (These hoes)
Who let these hoes in my room?

[Verse 2 - Luda]
Now it was five B.A.P hoes and they look like trash
But one was midget, so we'll just say four and a half
I was stuck speechless, couldn't believe my eyes
What'd I do to deserve this unpleasant surprise?
And I was thinkin' to myself, "This is just my luck"
Then my nigga bust in like "What the ****!?"
(Oh **** it's Snoop!)

[Snoop (Luda)]
Who in the hell let them booger bears out they cell (Not me)
And what they doin' in ya' room? Nigga make 'em bail (Yeah)
Got some fine bitches, dime bitches on they way (Okay)
And told security, "Let 'em in, with no delay" (Ha Ha!)
So when they get here, they'll probably be like half naked
Don't mean to trip out, but ***** yall got to dip out (Dip Out!)
Catch the elevator up one floor
Presidential with the slidin' key for the door (Oh No!)
What the **** goin' on? ****, all around the world Luda, then its the same song
Them bitches was so ugly, I told 'em to go home

[Chorus]
Who let these hoes in my room?
(Man who let these hoes in my room?)
Who let these hoes in my room? (Oh no!)
(Did you let 'em in?)
Who let these hoes in my room?
(Well who let 'em in then?)
Who let these hoes in my room? (Get out!)

[Verse 3 - Luda (Snoop)]
Now, these chicks wouldn't leave, they was ready to clown
One was 5'6 and weighed three hundred pounds
(No she didn't come thru with a thong on
She did for the hell of it, big fat whale of it)
You can't seperate me, Ima seperate you
***** ya' ***** smell like Pepe Le Pew
(You filthy, nasty, sick in the head
Sittin' in my dressin room with dick on ya' bread)
She said "I want you to climb in this underwear, silly"
But I was turned off by her tupper-ware titties
(Fake bitches, break bitches, make bitches
Kick rocks, when they ****** up in they face
Tick-tock, you gots to get up out my space
Hey Ludacris let's get the **** up out this place, let's bounce)
Then it got to my head, and somethin' reminded me
I know who let 'em in, it was Bill O'Reilly (******)
(Ya' white bread, chicken-**** nigga!)

[Chorus]
Who let these hoes in my room?
(Who let these hoes in my room?)
Who let these hoes in my room? (Did you let 'em in?)
Who let these hoes in my room?
(I need to know, who let these hoes in?)
Who let these hoes in my room?

[Snoop, Talking]
Ay, ay yall gotta go
Yall gotta get the **** up outta here, ugly *** bitches
I dont understand how these bitches always get in my dressin' room
You know what I'm sayin'?
Soon as I get off stage, it's 7 or 8 ugly *** bitches posyed up in my dressin room
And security act like they dont know who did it
I know you feel what I'm sayin', I'm my nigga around the whole world
We need to form a society or somethin'
Fat, gorilla, monkey mouth bitches cant get in our mothafuckin' dressin room or backstage
And if they do, we kindly put our foot up their *****
And re-direct them bitches to security dressin' room, you dig?
Sick of these ugly *** bitches bein' my dressin' room



**** It All
[Violent J]
****. **** this ****.
**** givin it to me.

[Chorus:]
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
Sya **** the world! (**** the world!)
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
**** em all! (**** em all!)

[Violent J]
**** you, **** me, **** us
**** Tom, **** Mary, **** Gus
**** Darius
**** the west coast, and **** everybody on the east
Eat **** and die, or **** off at least
**** pre-schoolers, **** rulers
Kings and Queens and gold jewelers
**** wine coolers
**** chickens, **** ducks
Everybody in your crew sucks, punk mother fucks
**** critics, **** your review
Even if you like me, **** you
**** your mom, **** your mom's momma
**** the Beastie Boys and the Dali Llama
**** the rain forest, **** a Forrest Gump
You probably like it in the rump
**** a shoe pump, **** the real deal and **** all the fakes
**** all fifty two states! Oooo, and **** you

[Chorus X 2]

[Violent J]
**** Oprah, **** opera, **** a soap opera
**** a pop locker and a cock blocker
**** your girlfriend, I probably did her already
**** Kyle and his brother Tom Petty, Jump Steady
My homie, **** him, what are you gonna do?
(**** that *****, **** you!) Yeah well **** you too
Don't bother tryin to analyze these rhymes
In this song I say **** ninety three times
**** the president, **** your welfare
**** your government and **** Fred Bear
**** Nugent, like anybody gives a ****
You like to hunt a lot, so ****** what?!
**** disco, Count of Monte Crisco
**** Cisco, and Jack and Jerry Brisco
And **** everyone who went down with the Titanic, in a panic
I'm like **** you, AHHHHH!!!!

[Chorus X 2]

[Violent J]
**** Celine Dion and **** Dionne Warwick
You both make me sick, suck my dick
**** the Berlin Wall, both sides of it
And **** Lyle Lovett, whoever the **** that is
**** everybody in the hemisphere
**** them across the world, and **** them right here
You know the guy that operates the Rouge River draw bridge in Delray on
Jefferson? **** HIM!
**** your idea, **** your gonnoreha
**** your diarrhea, Rocky Maivia
**** your wife, your homie did, he's ****** you
**** the police and the 5-0 too
**** Spin, Rolling Stone, and **** Vibe
**** everybody inside
Whoever's on the cover, **** his mother
**** your little brother's homie from around the way
And **** Violent J!

[Jakehammaren]

^^^ I think that second song is by Insane Clown Posse, not Slipknot.

[Noodle]

[COLOR=Navy][SIZE=2][FONT=Trebuchet MS]OMG, I have the BEST song EVER! It's called Detachable Penis by King Missile

Detatchable Penis, by King Missile

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ***,
I like having a detachable penis.

I heard tis on the radio a while ago, and it took me about an hour to finally stop laughing.........[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Ailes de Velour]

Tons of Rasputina songs have silly lyrics, which is why I love them hysterically. I don't know which to pick, though, so I'll try some random ones.

"Nozzle"

Nozzle, nodule, eraser, chip: a few thoughts on the subject by a little nothing.

What was so obviously strange, yet mystifyingly true about the whole situation, was Miss Connie Pollyp's failure to grasp that the time was indeed now if she was to ever recover vitality to her mortal envelope.

Oh sure, she liked perfume - and she had a lot of it, too - but pampered wisps do not a clothdoll make.

And there we have a lesson that is easier to speak of than it is to, how you say, live by?


"AntiqueHighHeelRedDollShoes"

Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Oral teeth, loggy sockes, rubber pants, I cry I dance
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Metal head, mohair wig, rubber pants, I cry I dance
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Mohair wig in afro style,
Very scary little smile.
Fully flexible you see,
Is there one as sweet as me?
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Rosy cheek and ruby lip,
better than banana split.
Funny little klutzy bit,
took my brother can't be fit.
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Pick me up for heavens sake.
Aren't I your baby cakes?
Don't fall for all the little fakes.
Aren't I your baby cakes?
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Daintier, smarter, better dressed!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!
Antique High Heel Red Doll Shoes!

<333

And Bohemian Rhapsody. "I see a little silhouetto of a man SCARAMOUCHE scaramouche will you do the fandango? THUNDERBOLT and LIGHTNING very very frightening me! Galileo Galileo Galileo Galileo Galileo Figaro Magnificoooo"

More hearts.