Online Relationships

[Cabby]

After going through a few myself, I have come to realize that it takes a severe ammount of emotional attatchment to be with a person you will not see for some time. I have never doubted they could not work, I simply believed it would take a girl with everything I needed to have that attatchment.

What about you? What say you of Online Relationships.

[James]

[font=franklin gothic medium]I think they can work, because there are some advantages to knowing someone online. For one thing, you can know their personality before you think about physical attraction. That's one advantage you don't get in the real world.

On the other hand, if you go for ages without actually being with the person...then that probably starts to become unhealthy. You develop an attachment to someone who isn't immediately there and it becomes difficult for things to progress (I mean, if you haven't even met the person you can't exactly move in with them or something).

I have known people who have initially met online and then formed a real, lasting relationship "in real life". So I know that it can work. But I think it can only work if there's a plan involved - if you actually do intend to be together at some stage. If not...well, I think you probably have to question whether or not it's good for you to be in that situation.[/font]

[Hevn]

It's easy to get in one but uber difficult to keep and maintain, especially if you're new to it. There'll be lots of longing and pining and if you're not strong enough, you won't survive it. I believe it takes a lot of courage, patience, and commitment to make it successful. I won't say it needs 'emotional attachment' but more of commitment. If you're not committed to it, then it's a waste of time.

I agree that two people in an online relationship should have plans. Like, when you'll meet and finally be together. Constant communication is also important. If you're serious enough, you know there are other mediums of communication than chatting online.

[Cabby]

[QUOTE=Hevn]It's easy to get in one but uber difficult to keep and maintain, especially if you're new to it. There'll be lots of longing and pining and if you're not strong enough, you won't survive it. I believe it takes a lot of courage, patience, and commitment to make it successful. I won't say it needs 'emotional attachment' but more of commitment. If you're not committed to it, then it's a waste of time.

I agree that two people in an online relationship should have plans. Like, when you'll meet and finally be together. Constant communication is also important. If you're serious enough, you know there are other mediums of communication than chatting online.[/QUOTE]


Excellent point. I hadn't thought of it more than emotional attatchment. It does take a strong-willed person to do so.

[Adahn]

[font=Trebuchet MS][/font][font=Trebuchet MS][size=1]I speak from experience.[/size][/font]
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[font=Trebuchet MS][size=1]I met my fiance' on Otakuboards. We communicated through PM for a while, then e-mail, then we lost contact. By chance, I e-mailed her as I was starting my first year in college. She got back in touch with me, and we started communicating on AIM. By this point, we had not had any type of romantic relationship.[/size][/font]
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[font=Trebuchet MS][size=1]We talked for quite a while through IM every day, and were friendly and honest with each other. I didn't expect a relationship to develop. However, a hurricane hit where she lives and knocked out her power. I found I was desperate to talk to her. I frantically e-mailed her, and even tried to find out where she lived from what little information I had, so I could see how power was being restored in her county. I made her an innocent movie about how my fan broke.[/size][/font]
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[font=Trebuchet MS][size=1]After she got power back, we both realized how much we missed talking to each other. Our relationship progressed, and I ended up getting plane tickets to visit her over Christmas break. We were in love even before I arrived, and our meeting was wonderful. After I left, she came to visit me for spring break, and I spent all of last summer with her. Now, she's coming here for Christmas. Whenever we're apart, we count the days until we get back together again.[/size][/font]
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[font=Trebuchet MS][size=1]She'll be coming here this spring break, and I'll spend this summer with her in Florida. Come next Christmas, we plan on getting married around the time we first met in person.[/size][/font]
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[font=Trebuchet MS][size=1]It's hard being apart, but not hard enough to make us give up. We've done everything in our power to be together, and it has taken priority over everything else. I look forward to building my life with her, and am thankful every day that we found and loved each other.[/size][/font]

[Sara]

I've had some wonderful online friendships, so it's not my place to doubt the validity of any romantic online relationship, which is sometimes what threads like this turn to.

My thoughts are basically that it carries with it the hazards (;)) of any offline relationship, with perhaps an increased strain on trust (and physical... desires). Online relationships tend to be (almost by default) long-distance, which can be hard.

I'm currently dating a young man who was an acquaintance (and, I'll admit, a crush) of mine in high school. We never exactly lost touch, but our friendship had become mostly an online one, especially after I moved up to college. We sort of got to know each other all over again via Yahoo messenger, which was interesting. I asked him out over spring break, we had a terrific summer together, and now I'm back up at school--six hours away. We see one another a few weekends a semester, but other than that, we talk online.

Anyway, my point is that, being in a long-distance relationship, I can definitely see (very strongly!) the benefits and problems of communicating with your significant other online. I think (perhaps especially for girls? Sorry, that may be unwarranted stereotyping) it's very easy to form an emotional attachment to someone through words alone. But James is very much correct in that if the relationship is going to stay at that level, you need to acknowledge that--if by hook or crook you don't have a chance of getting together and advancing your relationship--you need to consider whether or not it's a good idea to consider that person your beloved.

It also depends on what level you're looking at things, I think. The online equivalent of a high school three-week fling is going to have very different needs than an online long-term relationship. I'm never sure where things fall on this message board.

[Guest kuroinuyoukai]

I think I could have a relationship online. I have never dated before. I like to get to know someone first. Like James said, you could get to know a person and you can't see them. You would have feelings based on character alone. I applaud anyone who has found love on the net and is going on with it even after they have met the person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

[Ikillion]

[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=2][FONT=Times New Roman]Even though they are incredibly risky I think it is possible for online relationships to work out. I have and am currently in one right now as a matter of fact. I remember when I met her and another close friend of mine in a rping chatroom on Yahoo. For a wile we just role played with eachother and said nothing more and nothing less. I myself got curious about it so I decided to begin talking with her on a normal basis.

For some higly ironic reason it turned out she lived in the same town as I. This was before we ever had any kind of realationship. We continued to talk to eachother around a week or so at a time and I still remember the day that she finally came out to me and confessed her love. I didnt expect her to say it because for some reason I did feel attached to her as if she had absorbed a part of my own body into her then I said yes and it will be 6 months on November 11.

I went over to her house on the next day and we still instantly fell into a deep love that we both hope shall strech out till after we go to college in japan to me married for ever and ever. Although that shall take a long time seeing as we are still in high school and all. I still hope that it will work out for the best.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]