vegeta rocker Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Move On Everyone tries to pull me down My head spins when they scream so loud Feels like I have nowhere left to go Sometimes I just really Want to know Why I even try to fly when everyone keeps waiting for lightning to strike me down here It comes now I hear the scary sounds seems like nothing can be done pretty people have the most fun where were you when I needed you Hiding below with Everyone you knew Pull myself away Run far so fast All I want to do Is make this feeling last What it feels like to lose control feels like I Can do anything Im part of nature now Left you behind Everyone moves on Its just a matter of time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomura Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 9 out of ten...the poem seemed more like a song to me, so I could almost hum it completely! :animesmil Just cut down some words, and it'll be perfect! ( I mean make the sentences shorter, so the poem is more hummible...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted December 18, 2005 Author Share Posted December 18, 2005 Im glad you like it, i do need to shorten it up a bit. Thanks for the criticism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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