Undeterminable Sexuality

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=Purple]For the greater majority of my life I have thought of myself as heterosexual. I was always strictly strait nothing else. But, when I became a little more mature, I began doubting this. One day I suddenly realised that I was bisexual but I was only attracted to video game guys. Then a bit later I had a crazy breakdown and stopped liking guys for a while. Then I slowly became more and more bisexual until for about a day or so I thought I was gay because all I could think about was guys. Then I leveled out and now I'm determined that I'm not strait, gay, or bi. I don't know what to call it (though I've been using the term 'Omnisexual') so could someone help me?[/COLOR]

[Attimus331]

I personally think homosexuality is wrong, regardless. I think that the only people that go gay are the very confused ones. Society today has made it acceptable for a person to be gay, it's not right. I believe you should just go back to liking girls (i'm assusming you're a guy). Eh, but i doubt this comment will really help you that much, you don't really need somebody to tell you homosexuality is wrong, that's for you to decide. Maybe you should just be by yourself for a while and stop thinking about having a bf or gf, just be alone and try to figure out what you want to do. Don't confuse attraction.

Later.

[sakurasuka]

[SIZE=1]I have some advice for you, alright?

I say just don't worry about sexual prefference for awhile. Don't dwell on it. Your heart will work itself out sooner or later, you don't need to drive yourself crazy in the meantime!

Love isn't about gender, hun. When you fall in love for real, you'll know it. It won't matter weather that person is the same gender as you or not. True love. That's what's worth waiting for.

If you ever need a friend (Or an online hug!) just send me a PM, email, IM, etc.

EDIT-
[quote name='Attimus331']I personally think homosexuality is wrong, regardless. I think that the only people that go gay are the very confused ones. Society today has made it acceptable for a person to be gay, it's not right.[/quote]

I'm sorry, but I really dissagree. Every person has the right to thier own opinion. You do have the right to think it wrong, but that doesn't mean that people who are homosexual are confused. They found love. That's all there is to it.[/SIZE]

[Solo Tremaine]

[color=#503f86]You can't be entirely asexual (i.e. not finding anyone attractive) if you find yourself being attracted to guys and girls. If you want a simple definition, I'd say 'bi-confused'. But even then it's channelling things a bit.

What I'd suggest you do is experiment and find out how you really feel. I'm not saying 'sleep around with everyone you know' or anything- you're only 14, and really, you've barely even started maturing. But it's no good just going on thoughts, feelings and premonitions because you can't necessarily know how you're going to act in a real situation where you have the opportunity to be with (physically or in as in a relationship) either a guy or a girl.

I wondered for ages whether I was bisexual as I started finding a lot of guys I went to college with attractive and began imagining what it'd be like being with them. The only thing I do know is that I'm not gay, because I find girls too attractive ^_^; Either way, I've never been physically active with a guy so I don't actually know if it's what I want at all. I could be completely wrong about it *shrugs*

So yeah... I wouldn't worry too much about labelling yourself and just go with what you feel. If you go out with a guy/girl/either and enjoy it, fine. If you don't, then you'll know.[/color]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=Purple]Wait... Solo, you're a guy? O_o

Anyway, Attimus while I respect your opinion, I am offended. I will love whoever the **** I want thank you very much![/COLOR]

[Solo Tremaine]

[quote name='Hug Monster][color=purple']Wait... Solo, you're a guy? O_o[/color][/quote][COLOR=#503F86]Yeah, I am ^_^; I get that a lot online.

But anyway, let's not get too judgemental here on either side. Threads to do with sexuality don't have a very good history on OB and it'd be nice to see one turn out differently for a change.[/COLOR]

[Sandy]

[quote name='Hug Monster][COLOR=Purple'] I don't know what to call it (though I've been using the term 'Omnisexual') so could someone help me?[/COLOR][/quote]

Please, whatever your orientation is, don't call yourself "omnisexual"! It'd be like you wanted to shag [I]anything[/I] with a hole in it - wether it would be a human, an animal or a tree! ;P

Simply put, if you are attracted to both sexes, you are bi-sexual; if not to either, you are asexual. Of course sexuality is a much more complex thing than that, but ultimately you really don't have to categorize yourself into any slot if you don't want to.

Just be honest to yourself, okay?

To [B]Attimus331[/B] I'd just want to say that you don't really know any homosexuals yourself, do you? If you did, you wouldn't have that kind of an opinion. I have to admit that in my teen years I [I]was[/I] confused with my sexuality, but that was only because I am a homosexual living in a world where heterosexuality is a norm, ie. you are straight until otherwise proven. Nowadays my sexuality is very clear to me and everybody around me - not the least being my loving bf. ;D

Wether you like it or not, world is filled with all kind of sexualities, some more ethically questionable than others, but what is wrong with a mutual and equal affection between two humans, just because they share the same sexual organs?

You should learn to accept the multitude of life - your way is not the only way. ;)

[Dagger]

Heh, I've been there. Actually I [i]still[/i] have big issues with categorizing myself--and, though it's kind of sad, that makes me a lot more hesitant to seek out relationships. Not that I'm interested in a relationship right now anyway (for a variety of reasons).

Being attracted to women wasn't something I began to accept consciously until not so long ago. Increasingly I've become aware that any attraction I have to males is more something connected to admiration and wanting to be like that (not wanting to be male, lol, but wanting to reach what I perceived as that sense of freeness and confidence) than to a regular sexual attraction. I've become involved with males enough times to admit for a fact that, easy though it is to convince myself otherwise, I just don't have much of an interest in them sexually. I guess I'd say that I'm somewhere between bisexual and lesbian.

But not being able to pinpoint it exactly or give a real name to it just drives me batty. It shouldn't, but it does, and I know I'd feel a lot more at ease with myself if I could just say I was one thing and be done with it.

Interestingly, for someone who tries to be enlightened and open-minded and whatever, I still have a pretty sizeable capacity for shame. Years and years ago, long before these issues had ever crossed my mind, I remember a PFLAG rep and a lesbian teen came to give a talk at my school. I don't remember anything of what was said, except that the girl told us she realized she was lesbian when she was a year or two older than the age I was at the time. All I recall thinking was praying like hell that [i]I[/i] wouldn't turn out to be lesbian. I was under the impression that you'd wake up someday and *boom!* you'd be gay. There was no room in my head for the concept of being confused about it, or for identifying as bisexual early on and gay (or straight) later in life.

Even now, I feel an incredible discomfort when, say, I'm watching TV in a group and a sexually suggestive ad (using females) comes on. I'm fine with it when I'm alone, but when I'm with others I feel as if I should be looking away, as if I should deliberately show that I'm disregarding it. I don't need people to tell me that it's okay to be homosexual/bi/what have you. Yet I still have that vague sense of guilt, and I can't even articulate why.

I guess it could be connected to the fact that I haven't discussed this with any of my friends yet or my family yet, and I don't plan on doing so. It's not because I think they won't be accepting, but rather because I feel as if I ought to have something definite that I'm coming out as--be it bi or lesbian. On the other hand, I wouldn't be totally surprised if they suspected something along those lines anyway.

Yeah. I hadn't planned on saying that much or on being that revealing, but... um, take comfort in the fact that you're not the only one who struggles with this kind of thing, I guess. :animeswea

~Dagger~

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=Purple]Well, the thing that has me is that when it comes to girls I am sexually attracted but not with guys i.e. I can't see myself having secks with a guy. But I have fallen in love with people of both seckses.[/COLOR]

[Fyxe]

[size=1][color=slategray][B]Hug Monster[/B], I wouldn't worry about it so much. As you mature and get older, your body and mind will be able to confirm what sexuality you have. I know from personal experience that it can be very, very confusing and is enough to drive a teenager crazy. But, the more you think about it, the more difficult it will become to cope with. So, relax for awhile, give your mind a break. You'll know when the time is right, so don't push yourself, okay? Just remember, life doesn't come easy to understand... when you are ready and a little less stressed out, do what Solo said, experiment a little. I had to do a little research and experimenting before I figured out I was in fact bisexual. Sure, I'm only 13... but I don't think age differs the way you'll think or feel. Sometimes, it just takes people longer to figure out their sexuality.
Good luck, in any case. ^.^

Side note: [B]Attimus[/B], you have every right to have your own opinions... but I just want to say... there is no "right" and "wrong" when it comes to someone's sexuality. Love has no bounderies when is comes to gender. And it never has. But since, naturally, a man and a woman are the essentials for mating, people have pushed that that pairing is the only right one. But people don't have a choice if they are gay/bisexual... it is a mix up in DNA/genes and it cannot be helped. I am wishing more people would realize this, because so many blame the people for being gay/bisexual, when it has nothing to do with their free will. But more people are becoming open with their sexuality, which is always great.[/color][/size]

[Solo Tremaine]

[quote name='Hug Monster][color=purple]Well, the thing that has me is that when it comes to girls I am sexually attracted but not with guys i.e. I can't see myself having secks with a guy. But I have fallen in love with people of both seckses[/color'].[/quote][color=#503f86]That's slightly different, then. Oddly enough, I posted near enough the same thing on MyOtaku some months ago, and I got a really decent reply to it ^_^[/color]

[color=#503f86]There are some things I know I'd never do sexually with a guy (or girl, for that matter). Even thinking about all the stuff you can get up to makes me feel a bit weird, and that's something I'd have to come to terms with if I decided I wanted to start a relationship with a guy.[/color]

[color=#503f86]It's easy enough to fall in love with anyone, but I think sexuality encompasses all aspects of love, not just sexual and not just emotional. I know I love some guys, but I'm not 'in love' with them as such, in that I don't want to sleep with them. What it might help you to work out is whether you're [i]attracted[/i] to guys (in any/all senses of the word) or whether you're just feeling very deeply for someone you know and care about intensely. But there's nothing wrong with simple experimentation, either.[/color]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[QUOTE=Solo Tremaine][color=#503f86]That's slightly different, then. Oddly enough, I posted near enough the same thing on MyOtaku some months ago, and I got a really decent reply to it ^_^[/color]
[color=#503f86][/color]
[color=#503f86]There are some things I know I'd never do sexually with a guy (or girl, for that matter). Even thinking about all the stuff you can get up to makes me feel a bit weird.[/color]
[color=#503f86][/color]
[color=#503f86]It's easy enough to fall in love with anyone, but I think sexuality encompasses all aspects of love, not just sexual and not just emotional. I know I love some guys, but I'm not 'in love' with them as such, in that I don't want to sleep with them. What you need to work out is whether you're [i]attracted[/i] to guys (in any/all senses of the word) or whether you're just feeling very deeply for someone you know and care about intensely.[/color][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Purple] :animeswea You're really making this only more confusing hehe... anyway I;m pretty sure I'm bi, after all I love guys the same way I love girls-- very openly. Y'know, walk into a room full of your friends and hug and kiss all of them kinda deal.[/COLOR]

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]Fair enough ^_^; It's not a simple situation anyway, but yeah...

Jus go with your instincts and see what happens, then. After all, you can't argue with yourself, heh.[/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=Purple]Well the only reason I asked is because I fell in love with a guy (online, mind you) who I knew was strait. I told him anyway and he was okay with it, which was cool. I was just thinking about the whole thing though because I was wondering that while I fell in love with a guy, Im not attracted to them sexually. Oh well, I'm not really concerned about it ^_^[/COLOR]

[AzureWolf]

[COLOR=teal]The whole "is gay right/wrong" comment came from left field. What does that have to do with the topic? lol

Anyways, there are a variety of theories as to how sexuality works. First is the idea that sexuality is a gradient or spectrum, with the extremes being "attracted to men" and "attracted to women." All people are seen as being somewhere in between, but being closer to one end or the other.

Based on which side you are closer to, you are gay or straight. If you are closer to the middle than either of the sides, you are considered bisexual, even if you have a preference for one gender over the other (i.e., you can sleep with both but like sleeping with one more).

Then there's the notion that sexuality is discrete. This outline is more complex (and ingenious, IMO), but it works equally as well. A person likes either guys or girls, but not both. There is no attraction to the other sex.

Bisexuals come about when there is an excess of libido, or sexual drive. So a bisexual - according to this theory - isn't really attracted to both sexes, just that he has so much want for sex that he is willing to take what he can get, so to speak.

How does one like his own gender more than the other? That's explained by starting out gay (through irregularity in the brain) and having a strong sexual drive.

Know that no one fully understands sexuality (hence the existence of two theories), and that finding your own sexuality shouldn't be something you should struggle with. If you find something attractive, don't run away from it. Look at it, analyze it, and ask yourself if you are attracted or not. Also, there's a difference between fear of taboo and your true feelings.

I hope that helps you in some way.[/COLOR] [quote name='Hug Monster][COLOR=Purple']Wait... Solo, you're a guy? O_o[/COLOR][/quote] Sweetness. You don't know how happy that makes me. :-P

[Doukeshi]

[SIZE=1][QUOTE=AzureWolf][COLOR=teal]

Bisexuals come about when there is an excess of libido, or sexual drive. So a bisexual - according to this theory - isn't really attracted to both sexes, just that he has so much want for sex that he is willing to take what he can get, so to speak.
[/QUOTE]

I'm not too sure I agree with that theory Azure. I mean there is a whole lot of friction from both sides (straight and gay) when it comes to dealing with bisexuality. Bisexuality is always shown as just sluttish people who want it from everyone. Its like the ultimate defenition of promiscuity. What happens if you are genuinely attracted to boy men and women, equally? Why should you limit yourself to just one gender if you are attracted to both? Just 'cause you like both genders doesn't mean you are up for it from [I]anyone[/I].

Honestly, Hug, this isn't worth worrying about right now, you're still young and it'll just do your head in. I'm almost 20 and I still don't bloody know. If you meet someone you feel a bond with and you want to date, regardless of sex, and if they reciprocate your feelings then go for it. Boundaries aren't as rigid as they used to be ^_~.[/SIZE]

[renayiiq]

For some people, sexual orientation can be very confusing. I have a guy friend who is actually going through the same thing.
I, personally, don't know what it's like to be confused about it. I've always had a bit of an attraction for girls and guys, and until I was about 12, I thought that it was wrong and I tried to stop thinking about girls. Well, one day, I kinda just woke up and accepted the fact that I'm bi, and I decided to no longer care what anyone would think. Ever since, I've had my share of boyfriends and girlfriends. Although, I've figured this out, usually, someone who is bisexual will favor one gender over the other. I, personally, prefer guys, although I do still like girls a hell of a lot.
Back to your situation. I'll tell you just what I told my friend: don't worry about it, go with your instincts. You'll figure it out someday, and if you don't, that's perfectly fine, because there are more important things in this world besides your sexual orientation. You're only 14, like someone else said, you've got plenty of time ahead of you. :animesmil

Oh, and to this person that said that being gay is wrong: ooh, I'd love to flame the hell out of you, but I'll keep it nice. Think what you want, but love doesn't have any gender, love defies gender, love is love, no matter age or gender or race or nationality or social class or any of those things, because love is the one thing that humans have that can save this world from total destruction (besides hope and truth). It is not wrong to love someone who is of the same gender. It is not wrong to love people of both genders. Love isn't wrong.

[Guest Salty Bob]

[QUOTE=Attimus331]I personally think homosexuality is wrong, regardless. I think that the only people that go gay are the very confused ones. Society today has made it acceptable for a person to be gay, it's not right. I believe you should just go back to liking girls (i'm assusming you're a guy). Eh, but i doubt this comment will really help you that much, you don't really need somebody to tell you homosexuality is wrong, that's for you to decide. Maybe you should just be by yourself for a while and stop thinking about having a bf or gf, just be alone and try to figure out what you want to do. Don't confuse attraction.

Later.[/QUOTE]

You disgust me.

[Dagger]

[B]Salty Bob[/B], don't make personal attacks. That was completely uncalled for.

On this note, I'd like to remind everyone that this is [i]not[/i] a thread for debating the morality (or lack thereof) of homosexuality. While a certain degree of that is perhaps inevitable, please try to stick to the original topic. And just be sensitive about how you phrase your opinions. Thanks.

~Dagger~

[Guest kuroinuyoukai]

Well well seems we have another interesting thread going on here. First of all, whether or not people want to admit it alot of people are confused at a young age about their sexuality. I'll admit I was. For about two years i thought I was in love with a friend of mine. I realized when I was separated from her that i was not- I just loved her dearly as a friend. I was 17 when I discovered that fact.I was a heterosexual in all senses of the word.

I agree with the others, you are too young to worry about this right now. Just live your life and the answer will make itself known. Be patient.

Tical-you cannot help what you feel. I am a Christian and am fully aware what my religion says about homosexuals.I believe most religions also state to love everyone, right? Some people are confused when they say that they are gay while others know. You can't force someone to feel a certain way.So take your time and the answer will come to you.I don't hol sexuality against any one.

12/01/05-Is this thread still going?

[Hevn]

I'll try to ignore the rest of the posts on the subject of homosexuality being wrong or right.

I know for a fact that sexuality is complex, but personally, I always try to make things simple. If you don't get attracted to the same sex, you're heterosexual. At the time you get attracted to both, at the same time or not, and in any time of your life, and no matter if you prefer one over the other more, start considering yourself bisexual. If you really don't fall for people of the opposite sex, you're a homosexual. That's all there is for it, in my opinon.

I have to note though, admiration is different from attraction. I admire some girls because they're beautiful but it doesn't mean I'm attracted to them. We all aren't too dumb to not know when we feel something for someone already so the line between homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality, is pretty simple.

If you get attracted to animals.. then there's something really wrong with you. XD

[nomad19]

the church says it's wrong, alot of others say that homosexuality is wrong....
i think it's something we need to understand...
if you're happy with your life, there's no reason for any of us to take that away, straight or gay the modern world is pretty messed up,

homosexuality is something strange and it's really awkward but, we have no right to take that happiness away from anyone....

about being bi....i have no comment on that....

call it...carnisexual?...hehe lol

[AzureWolf]

[quote name='Doukeshi][SIZE=1]I'm not too sure I agree with that theory Azure. I mean there is a whole lot of friction from both sides (straight and gay) when it comes to dealing with bisexuality. Bisexuality is always shown as just sluttish people who want it from everyone. Its like the ultimate defenition of promiscuity. What happens if you are genuinely attracted to boy men and women, equally? Why should you limit yourself to just one gender if you are attracted to both? Just 'cause you like both genders doesn't mean you are up for it from [I]anyone[/I'].[/SIZE][/quote][COLOR=teal]Fair enough. You don't have to agree with the theory, but that is the theory nonetheless (I didn't make it up).

But I really don't see how you can have both a male and female in your life equally without appearing promiscuous. I mean, having two people isn't exactly smiled upon in the Western world. Afterall, your life partner - gay, straight, or bi - is only going to be one gender, not both (I'll stab you if you mention hermaphrodites).

And let's not get confused here: a strong libido does not mean you are slutty or are always lusting for sex. It's more of a subconscious thing, where you are driven so strongly that both genders will satisfy your desire. Again, that's just a theory - not my theory - but a theory that has been presented as a possible explanation for sexuality.

I'm probably explaning it poorly, but having a strong sexual drive does not equate to being hungry for sex per say. If that was the case, you'd do it with anyone, or even anything. But bisexuals, like all normal people, have standards, and so the libido this theory refers to is slightly, fundamentally different than the libido one is normally used to hearing about. Still, it's not TOTALLY different, as bisexuals tend to have more... active sexual practices than others.

I hope that cleared it up - if not, I bet there's something on google, heh.[/COLOR]

[Guest Heero yuy]

depending on what age your at...

you might be in the psychological area of James Maria...and his identity stages...

Later in life...you'll find yourself...no doubt.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=Purple]>_< Please everyone, call me Tical or Tickle, not Hug!

O_o you guys are taking this way to far. I don't really care about all the psychialogical crap, I know this stuff, I'm a psychologist (in training) myself, I just wanted to know if I could call myself onmisexual or ubersexual or something or if I should just stick with bisexual.

As for that whole sexual drive thing, well, I actually would prefer a relationship without sex. I just wanna hug, hence the banner.[/COLOR]