Tical's Foxboy Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 my girlfriend of 3 years is going though a lot. And I don't know what to do. I mean last night she had 3 angsity attacks lastnight. I love her with all my heart and always will but I am not shure what to do. Can anyone help this little fox? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakurasuka Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 [SIZE=1]Just be there for her. That's all you can do, hun. All anyone really needs when they're down is a shoulder to cry on, maybe a therapist, but definitely some love. Be understanding, and don't give her too much advice. I speak from experience when I say that no advice is way better than too much/bad advice. Hope you guys are okay, good luck, etc.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 I do that but... i feel like I could do a lot morefor some reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakurasuka Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 [quote=Me.][SIZE=1]No prob. If you really feel like you could/should do more, try taking her out more. Get her out of whatever situation she's in. I don't know the exact situation, but getting away usually helps. But I'm sure you've been doing that. You sound like a nice guy.[/SIZE][/quote] [SIZE=1]I PMed you this, but meh. Figured I'd post it anywho.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 thank you for helping me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayofthreversed Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I agree with sakurasuka the best thing that you can do is just be there for her and listen to her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 [size=1]I hate to go against the general trend of 'nice advice', but I feel rather obligated to... If your girlfriend had three anxiety attacks in one night, there might be something seriously wrong with her. I think it would be a very good idea to somehow get her to see a doctor, or a psychiatrist. One of those two might be able to help her cure the attacks.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2010DigitalBoy Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 [COLOR=Purple]What is she having anxiety about? I don't know what you could do except talk to her. Like Sakurasuka said, when someone is down, they need a shoulder to cry on.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted November 30, 2005 Author Share Posted November 30, 2005 Sometimes it is triggered by her depression. Yesterday she came over to my place and I listened to her talk and helped her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lvkitty14 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 MEOW! that is so sad! <(,~_~,)> *snifle, snifle* fox... this kitty wouldnt know what to do either i feel so bad also *snifle snifle* i hope you find something MEOW! this kitty is going to be crying all day now that is so so so sad! fox me feel so bad beacuse i dont really know much about that kinda stuff my bro he has siesures (im not sure how its spelled sorry) and ive leard what to do on that but wha! i feel lost! *snifle snifle* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doukeshi Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 [SIZE=1]I know people like your girlfriend Fox and the best thing you can do, if nothing else, is to let her know that you care about her and listen to her. Ain't nothing worse than thinking noone cares about you when you're feeling all pent up like that. I know you feel helpless but if you are doing that then you are helping her. What is the specific cause of the anxiety attacks? If there is one. Prehaps, as sakura said, taking her away from the cause of her problem, if only for a short time, would be a good thing, to rest and take her mind off it.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 [SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting. Corey pretty much took the words out of my mouth, if you girlfriend suffers from depression and isn't seeing a psychiatrist regularly or taking medicine to help her control her attacks, or preferably both, then she needs to be soon. I've only ever gotten two panic attacks in my entire life and they are not something I would like to get in quick succession of one another. As good an idea as it seems to just be there and tell her that you'll always be there, she needs the kind of help that unfortunately we lay-people just can't provide.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 Yesterday she got put on some meds, but it is ok she still is the same person that I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 [quote name='foxboy7']Yesterday she got put on some meds, but it is ok she still is the same person that I know.[/quote] [SIZE=1]Well given that medication can often alter the personality of someone taking them, I think you should be relieved that she is getting help and that it's not changed the person you know, which is of course the most important thing, well next to her getting better of course. If the meds seem to be working then I think all you can do at this stage is assure her that you'll be there for her.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doukeshi Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 [SIZE=1]It'll take more than a day for you to find out if the meds are doing anything. Usually it takes up to three weeks for any side effects to manifest and wear off. What is she taking if you don't mind me asking?[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 We got back together about a year ago and we still considdered the time apart as going out. Well I left to go to Virgina for a month and a half over the summer After I came back her depression and anxity came back. Before the school year(day beforeschool) she needed time and the same day she had a balck out (or she says she did) she said she had feelings for another guy then hung up. The next day I talked to her she had another blackout and said that they were going out then didn't talk to her till till the next day.Then she said that she didn't mean that stuff she said during the blackout but after that I herd storys about when I was gone to Virgina that she cheated on me when I was down there. And it was more then one guy at that but I didn't belive it after that I had depression after awhile then I got better she got worse and I have always been here for her and helping her but I don't know what to do anymore. :animedepr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayofthreversed Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 I do not thnk that any of us can tell you what is best for you and your girlfriend. The only advice that I can give you is to follow your feelings, and to sit down with her and have a long talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakurasuka Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 [SIZE=1]Wow, that's big. Do you know for sure that she was cheating on you, or did you just hear it from someone? Considering that you live far away from each other, it is very hard to give you advice on what to do. Also, if you put into consideration the things you told me over PM, things become even more complicated. I think you should try to work things out with your girlfriend if you can, but some broken hearts just can't be fixed. The most important advice I could ever give you would be to TAKE THINGS SLOW. Let your heart heal. Before you rush into ANYTHING (Ending relationships or starting new ones) make sure you thought it through.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireKnifeDancer Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 ....Well...Foxboy...is this what you wanted help with? To tell you the truth, I believe that all the advice you've been given so far is good. I think everyone is on the right track. However; with what I have read and understood so far is that your girlfriend is suffering from anixety attacks, and black outs, and that you assume that she has cheated on you. And that also she has suffered from depression. My friend what we have here is a anxiety disorder, and a serious case at that. Medications are good, but they only last for so long, and she will need to take those for the rest of her life. She will be dependent on those for the rest of her life. Unless she is taken to a proper psychologist. Those are the people who can assest what is wrong. Take her to a psychologist who specailizes in the psychoanalytic field, or even better the cognitive field. Make sure to ask them what school of psychology they study, and make sure it's one of these two. With your assumptions. Take the time to find the truth. From her, and from anybody who you think was involved. Never assume anything until you have excercised every avaliable resource in your journey for truth. If it is true; if you really love her and want to be with her for the rest of your life then you won't feel mad or anger towards her, but if you do...then it wasn't meant to be. I am no docter, and I have no right to be diagnosising your girlfriend. However; this is all I can give, as my opinoin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 Last night I broke down and she said that it is her turn to help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayofthreversed Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 Did she help and do you feel better now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 I feel soo much better to tell her everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakurasuka Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 [quote name='foxboy7']Last night I broke down and she said that it is her turn to help me.[/quote] [SIZE=1]From what I've heard, she's not stable enough to deal with her problems AND help you with your own. And I don't think you're ready to give up your best years devoting all your time to someone who can't give much back to the reationship. I learned this first-hand. I loved him. I loved him alot. But he just wanted to do whatever he wanted, flirt with whoever he wanted, act however he watnted, etc. but he got mad at me when I would talk to my guy-friends, or do ANYTHING that wasn't the way HE wanted it. It's just how he was raised, I guess. His dad kinda was like that, it seemed. He was also going through alot, and his parents just got divorced. I know this doesn't sound the same, but it basically is. I was putting everything I had into the relationship, but he was un-able to give back. Relationships are supposed to be give-and-take, not one person doing all the work. This guy is still my very best friend, and I still help him with his problems whenever he needs me! The only difference now from then is that there aren't any expectations on our shoulders, and there's no physical aspect, and niether of our hearts get broken as easily. Only YOU can find out weather or not you really love her. If you do, it's worth waiting for her to get more stable. If you really don't, then maybe you'd do more help as her friend. Less attachment to things like 'she cheated on me' and the like.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireKnifeDancer Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 In my opinion, foxboy, no disrespect, but everybody has problems. It's how we deal with them that makes us who we are. Everyone is different and noone is the same. I deal with problems differently then you, and everyone else will too. As to your relationship, frankly I am not the person to be helping you, but if you truly need the advice I am about to give...well...that's entirely up to you. Give and take is a nasty way of putting it. If you love them enough you will give them everything they need regardless of wether or not they give anything back because if they truly loved you they'd give you everything too. However; from what I have read, and from what I can assume, this is not the problem. The real problem isn't that either of you are giving enough, it is if she is stable enough to give anything. People try to take other's problems when they don't take care of their own, so again I suggest heavily that you (or her parents) take her problem seriously and realize that this is serious and take her to a psychologist. A mental problem is diagnosised as abnormal, but most things aren't normal. In any case abnormal means that she isn't acting her normal. Not only that but the're certain things that human beings aren't meant to suffer through, and her problems are that. If you truly love her...please...give her what she needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tical's Foxboy Posted December 8, 2005 Author Share Posted December 8, 2005 I know now what is going on my eyes are open. No longer blind to the world I can tell what she is doing the eyes tell EVERTHING. :animedepr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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