Shwa Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Hiya fellow OB members and friends, a penny for your thoughts: Like many men in the world I happen to be a homosexual, I find this to be just fine and dont see me changing any time soon (or ever), I also have the friends and family support, bla bla bla. You get the deal, now then. I have a lot of straight friends who I've know for years since middle school to my last year in high school (currently finishing). Some of them are even my co-workers and neighbors who I would trust with my life. Now then, lately I've been having these uncontrolable urges to just do one of those movie hugs and kisses (slow motion version) to one of them at random. But when I snap out of my daydreams I feel dirty since some of them have girlfriends or are very straight and dont have any plans on changing. I want to know the opinion of the straight guy, have you ever had a gay friend hit on you or try to go fresh on you for any reason. And if so, what was your opinion?? I know enough to respect my friends because they respect me for who I am and what I stand for. Girls, do you think that this is an acceptable behavior?? Would you like a gay to hit on your boyfriend, whether they were your firend or not?? What would you do for your friend to help them stop the urges?? I find myself in a a twirling spiral of depression and on the state of being alone. I live in Bel Air Maryland and there's not a lot of gays in my area of living, which is one reason why I dont have a boyfriend, but I'm 17 in my senior year and I haven't had any love in my life and I feel on the vurge of a major breakdown. I dont want to sound greedy but I want a boyfriend, I want love and to give my virginity to someone special....is that too much to ask for? I'm surrounded by straight guys who are cute and nice as hell and cant touch them :animedepr There are a couple but none that are my type. Their mostly the sterio-typical gays who have lisps (accent like a girl.....if thats how you spell it), think that all gays should dress preppy and wear name brand clothing, whine over the stupidest things, and act all snooty and mean to others who have mental disabilities to the people who are not so socially rich or stable with their family life. I guess I'm the only gay in my school who's "Down to Earth", I dont mind getting dirty with the other boys, I like to file my nails when their grown out and I'm not afraid of clashing my outfits or going into school with my spongebob PJ pants. I admit I have a feminine side to me but I keep it in check, I dont want to be a stereotype like the other because I find that to be a shame to gays (In my opinion, sorry if you dont agree) Please fellow members, I need advice BADLY!!! Give me some advice to help me control these urges of mine so I dont make myself look like an absolute fool and hurt someone's pride and love at the same time, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Fett Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 [color=green]Obviously, this is a very personal choice for a guy to make... as to whether or not he minds a guy hitting on him. Personally, I'd take it as a complement. This has happened to me a few times, and I just quietly thank the person for their attention before mentioning I'm not interested. I do the same for a girl I'm not attracted to. Be careful though, I'm sure you know that many guys might have a very visceral or even violent reaction to something of that nature.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shwa Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 I know my friends and they find it funny as well, but I'm not the most popular person in school, my brothers were until they graduated and had everything. I'm just the last brother to finally leave my school, and there's not a lot of poeple who like me for my sexuality evern though they dont know me. Dont worry though, my brothers taught me a lot so I've taken down plenty of straight men who think their big and bad, lol. Does it really seem flattering though?? Does it not make you feel weird or uncomfertable in any way?? I was thinking about it once but then backed off the idea after thinking I was going to make myself look like a dumbass. :animeblus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 [size=1][color=indigo]Well, I'm the opposite gender, but that doesn't mean girls get the same sort of thing. I get hit on by many girls (why, I'll never understand). Does it make me feel uncomfortable? Sometimes it does. Particularly, when I don't really know the person to start off with. If it's one of my friends, they understand that I don't see them that way and only flirt with me to be funny. Do I find it flattering? Hell yes, I most certainly do. >_>; Then, it kind of angers me that I get 99% of girls hitting on me, rather than men. Irritating, but it is nice to know at least someone is paying attention, lol. But like Boba said, just be careful. No matter how well you think you might know someone, you could be wrong. There may be some hidden issue.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booboo Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 [COLOR=royalblue][SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana]I go to a performing arts school so we have many homosexuals and bisexuals, do I'm hit on by girls alot. It doesn't really bother me anymore. I'm used to it now, and most of them are my friends now and know I'm heterosexual. But I remember back when I first started 9 grade it was really weird for me since no one(that I knew of) in my middle school were homosexual or bisexual. And as Goddess said, I do find it flattering when a girl hits on me. At least someone thinks I'm good-looking. xD[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Blade Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 [size=1][color=slategray]I have never been hitted on a gay guy, but I do have a science lab partner that is one. This guy is really quiet and keeps to himself. I do talk to him and try to make friendly conversation, but everytime I do he winces and is scared of me, I don't know why. But back on track, I have a friend named Micheal and this lab partner of mine seemed to have had a crush on him for the longest time. Of course I was unaware of the whole thing because the guy is scared of me. Now one morning I go to my third block as usually, talk a little about science stuff, then the bell rings for lunch. I get my things and throw in my bag and prepare myself to take off at full speed before the lunch lines get too long. Before I burst out of there my lab partner taps me on the back and asks me if he could talk to me. I was like alright but please make it quick the cafateria is serving hamburgers (which is rarely ever served). So I ask what's up, he tells me to remain calm and blurts out the whole thing in one breath. Just so you know I have never encountered a gay guy before and with my lab partner telling me his secret I get shocked, but I keep my cool. Then I went ahead and told him that Micheal is straight because he asked me. But all in all despite his secret I'm still nice to him, and Mike now knows but told the dude that he was straight and like Boba Fett said it's cool to know that he is that attractive. Lol. I know this story doesn't really help but hey the good news is that my former lab partner moved but he has a boyfriend. So I know my advice is really crummy but maybe you need to go out and get some fresh air and meet new people. That seemed to have help my lab partner. Sorry the advice isn't intelligent one bit. But if I hitted on by another guy I would probably get shocked, a little flattered, and the strongest emotion may probably be anger. I would think to myself,"Dang. Was I hitted on because I look or act like a gay?" I don't know but it would defiently give me the willies. [/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 [SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting. Would getting hit on by a member of the same gender make me feel uncomfortable ? In all honesty I'd have to say yes, and very uncomfortable at that. I suppose being a Catholic is part of it, but there's also the whole deal with my mother's hairdresser who used to act very flamboyant when I was younger to make me uncomfortable being around him. I've been hit on once or twice by guys on holidays and while it is a bit flattering, I wouldn't be up for it every night, make me think I was doing something to encourage such attractions. [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2010DigitalBoy Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 [COLOR=Purple]Woah, Mage, your personality is so close to mine it almost matches. I can see myself as being exactly like that in 3 years. I personally don't hug people because I have no friends (sad, isn't it?) But if I did I'd hug the hell outta them! And if they're the kind of people who I'd wanna hang out with, they'd be cool with it. [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 [font=franklin gothic medium]I think that if you are hit on by someone of the same gender, it should be no different to someone hitting on you who you wouldn't like (ie: a girl hitting on you who you aren't interested in). I really hate the whole macho defensive crap that occurs with things like this. Of course, if you've shown that you aren't interested and someone keeps hounding you, I can see how it would be a problem. But all you can really do is be clear that you aren't interested. Otherwise, take it as a compliment that someone finds you attractive.[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starwind Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 I'm personally kind of indifferent, as long as they keep it in moderation and don't try to pull anything. I know nothing's going to happen, I'm not that insecure in my sexuality to fly off the handle at the first sign of something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Attimus331 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Eh, i wouldn't like it if a gay guy would hit on me. I might even get a little angry depending on the situation. I think you should ask if the person is gay or not themselves first, and if they're not, then you should leave them alone as far as flirting or hitting on them goes. You know your friends aren't gay, i don't recommend hitting on them, cuz they know you know they're not gay. As far as love goes, i don't know what to tell ya. Love happens when it happens, don't try to force it. If you're too anxious for love you might say you're in love with someone you're not and you might end up making a mistake. Maybe you should try dating someone online if there's no gays in your area. Heck, maybe you could find someone in your area through the internet. And also, don't be so willing to give your virginity up either. It's wise to wait for the special someone. Just make sure you know what you're doing. Later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 [size=1]I've been hit on before by gay guys. It doesn't bother me, and usually I take it as a compliment. And apparently, I can attract more than one race aswell.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al-araaf Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I dont care if they do or not. Like others here I consider it a compliment. I will admit i'm not exactly the best looking guy, but thank death my gf doesnt care about looks(neither do I). But I have been hit on by guys and for some reason pretty girls, but the girls are of topic. Whenever it happens I just say thank you and politly decline whatever they are asking of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hikarunogo98 Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 There is nothing wrong with gays hitting on straights, in my opinion. I'm not gay, but I am more as a metrosexual. When a gay guy flirts with me, I flirt right back, because there's nothing wrong with that. It's quite infuriating when a straight guy gets angry at a gay for something as trivial as looking at them. I get lashed at alot, since my best friend is a gay, and we flirt shamelessly everywhere, earing dirty looks from homophobes everywhere :animesigh . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Webb Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 I'm going to break my image as Mr. Perfect, and admit that I am somewhat uncomfortable when a gay guy hits on me. It happened once, and I was taken aback. Of course, I use humor as a defense mechanism, so my response was "I'm sorry, but you're not exactly my type." Nobody gets hurt, we shared a laugh, and I walked away knowing that there's at least one person out there who finds my fat arse attractive... even if that person doesn't have my preferred sexual organs. Is it wrong that I was uncomfortable? I don't think so. After all, I'd feel just as uncomfortable if an ugly girl tried to hit on me. Actually, I'd probably be more uncomfortable with an ugly girl than a pretty guy. [b]Somebody[/b] who hits on me has to look good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 [COLOR=DarkOrange]Well in general I see nothing wrong with a gay person hitting on someone who is straight. I?m not a guy but I?ve been hit on by other girls. The only time I find it uncomfortable is when they are adults since I?m considered jailbait. I just think it?s wrong to attempt to have a relationship with a minor if you are an adult. And I mean that for both gay and straight relationships. Adults should know better. When someone does that to me I make sure my Mom and every other adult I am a friend with knows who is trying to get me to go out with them. Anyway, back on topic, I really don?t see a problem with daydreams as we all have them. I?m sure I?m not the only one who has imagined kissing a boy or girl that we think is cute. I don?t like it when the girl who hits on me tries to get fresh without asking first as that?s sexual harassment in my opinion. Its one thing to say I think you are cute would you like to go on a date? But to actually start touching without permission is just wrong. Again I think that applies to straight relationships too. As for hitting on someone who is already in a relationship, I don?t like that either. I?ve never had a boyfriend, but I know I would never hit on a guy who already has a girlfriend. It?s okay if you didn?t know that they are already seeing someone though. Since it was an honest mistake. I don?t have any advise on how to stop the urges as you put it as I see nothing wrong with wanting to have someone special in your life. You could try what Attimus331 suggests and try to find people online. ^_^[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodbye, Face Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 [font=trebuchet ms]I get hit on by gay guys a lot. In fact, I have this interesting story about it. I've been friends with a gay guy for a while, I assumed he knew that I was straight, so I never really brought it up. Then one day, about a year after I met him, he just turned around and kissed me. As soon as I came out of shock, I pushed him back and told him I was straight, and then we both apologized at the same time. That was... interesting. In any case, guys hit on me more than girls, which is a little scary, but I'm pretty much ok with it. I'd rather a girl say that I'm attractive, but I still consider it a very nice complement, lol.[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 I don't really mind, I think. If a gay guy found me attractive, w00t! That means I'm not only sexy to women. In some ways, it's flattering. I wouldn't flirt back or anything, and I'd let him know what's going on, but I wouldn't be mean about it, either, similar to Manic. Of course...that's all dependent on if I realize I'm getting hit on (I'm very dense sometimes lol). Annie and I had an interesting time in New Paltz, New York, that's for sure. ~_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shwa Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 It would seem that a lot of people here have different stories and reactions to this topic, its interesting to hear the many listed. I expected the, "I would beath the hell out of the guy who hit on me" reaction, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 [quote name='RiflesAtRecess][font=trebuchet ms']In any case, guys hit on me more than girls, which is a little scary, but I'm pretty much ok with it. I'd rather a girl say that I'm attractive, but I still consider it a very nice complement, lol.[/font][/quote] [color=darkviolet]Okay.... you know what? I'm not going to comment on that one becuase it's funny I could really care less if a girl hits on me or not. Just as long as she understands that I'm not like that. I dance with girls, I hold hands with my friends who are girls. Once as a dare I kissed a girl in Wal*mart (I knew her people!). I just don't go out with girls. I've only been hit on by a girl once. It wasn't bad actually I was more mad at her for asking since I knew she was already seeing someone else than the fact that it was a girl. It's nice to know I'm attractive to more than just guys (heck sometimes it's just nice to know I'm attractive. I had a gay guy be jealous of me once because he wanted my ex husband. In hind sight I think I should have just said okay Tommee (Yes, that's how he spelled it!) you can have him. But yeah, that's my only other story. Trés boring huh? Who cares if someone of the same sex is hitting on you, just shrug say thanks for the compliment and move on. Oh and Mage15, good luck. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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