Writing Poems by... me! [PG+ for Suicide Themes]

[[Sound_Nin]]

Since my computer has been down for almost 2 years now (blech, so annoying) and my hope of getting a new one was raised and dashed quite expertly (Futurama quote, btw), it's no surprise it's taken me this long to put this up.


This one may be slightly depressing. I've attempted suicide myself several times and came dangerously close to succeeding. I wrote this one just before one of my attempts.
[CENTER]Suicide Note[/CENTER]
11-1-05
Dear family
Don't cry
for you see I've decided
that it's my time to die
god gave me his grace
but would not look me in the face
so it's something I must try
I'm sorry for the way I treated you
I'm sorry for the way I lied
Soon you'll see I'm doing you a favor
I'm serious this time.
I'm tired of the pain
from problems that are secrets
you told me you would understand
yet you refused to hear it.
Sometimes secrets are too much to bear
collapsing under cold blank stares
My huge secret is burning on the inside
You didn't understand.
And I could tell you how many times I've lied
that things came out as planned.
By the time you read this note
I'm already too far gone
You didn't even have a chance
to convince me this is wrong.
I really hate myself sometimes.
Protect myself with all these lies.

So forgive me for this decision,
though I don't expect to be forgiven
I don't know why I'm still here
I haven't lost a single tear.

I linger on the edge of death
and now I say with my final breath
I'm sorry for the way I hurt you
I think I need to let you know
I Love You.


2 more on the way!

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=Purple]Wow, that was good! I, too, wrote several poems before suicide attempts, though I confess yours is better :animeswea I liked that you told precisely why you were ready to kill yourself and even people who don't know the situation understand what you're doing. I don't suppose I could pry the secret out of you, though.[/COLOR]

[[Sound_Nin]]

There's a kind of melancholy that accompanies everything I write or draw. It's just a part of who I am. I don't think even I could tell you, because it's a feeling of worthlessness that I can't quite put into words. I guess I have always felt unworthy of love, and even though I know I am loved, I never feel loved, like people just tell me they love me to hurt me...
But that's a personal issue you probably don't want to hear about... :animedepr

[2010DigitalBoy]

[QUOTE=GoldScorpion78]There's a kind of melancholy that accompanies everything I write or draw. It's just a part of who I am. I don't think even I could tell you, because it's a feeling of worthlessness that I can't quite put into words. I guess I have always felt unworthy of love, and even though I know I am loved, I never feel loved, like people just tell me they love me to hurt me...
But that's a personal issue you probably don't want to hear about... :animedepr[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Purple]I know how you feel, I always wonder when people say they care if it's sarcasm or truth. I wouldn't mind hearing your personal issue, in fact I enjoy listening to people's problem and trying to help. That's why I call myself 'The Doctor Phil Of The Internet'.[/COLOR]

[[Sound_Nin]]

Alright. Since it took me a day later than expected, here you go.
It is inspired by my own personal experiences of being drawn between life and death.

[CENTER]Untitled[/CENTER]
10-31-05

Pain is like an angel
That carries you away
And helps you sell your soul
for one more chance to stay
and if I leave you late tonight
for how long would you cry
before getting over everything
or would you want to die?
I need to know right here and now
how much do you love me?
If you even care at all
Please tell me that you trust me
I'd give up everything just to be at your side
For a change from all those nights
I stayed awake and cried
Waiting for someong to love me
Just tell me that you love me.