Manga Working on stories for manga.

[FireKnifeDancer]

[FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=Teal]Everybody, TALOFA!!! I am opening this thread to anyone who wants or needs help with stories. In these days I find that it is not the art that suffers in anime, but it is in fact the story. Being an english major I thought I needed no help, but boy was I wrong. Everyone could use new ideas, new concepts, and more detail. So, have fun with it, and well just post your ideas that you think you could use a little help with. Others from otaku, or I and my team of creative english majors (I am joking about the creative part, they just do do the english part...I do the creative) will help you. If you need background information, or any info. on different cultures or such and such. In any case, if I get reports that ideas are being stolen, and no credit given there will be consenquences. I want this thread to be conscructive; not destructive. You may only use concepts or ideas IF YOU HAVE PERMISSION FROM THE PERSON WHO CREATED IT!!! EVEN IF IT IS A FAN-FICITION!!!! In any case, have fun :catgirl: [/COLOR][/FONT]

[duoikari]

right, I have lots of plots going on in my head but at the moment i would like to do a yaoi story about a wolf and a rabbit. I have been influenced by two other mangas that i have seen and i thought that this would be a nice first manga for me to do.

I can think og lots of plots but when it comes down to actually thinking really hard about it i can't think i what to do next. Of cousre cos it is a yaoi there will be malex male sex going, so if this puts you off the whole thing don't look at the plot below.

I all ready have character which i am pretty stuck to and i am not willing to change them, cos i just love the way they are.

Plot: Anotonio(playing the wolf) will be walking along one day in the forest looking for food, then he sees the Quatre(rabbit) grazing in a field. With Anotonio being a wolf he natural catches him and takes him back to his little cave thing in the woods. Now just to explain there is lots of human realated thing in his house cos he keeps stealing from the farmer and his wife. Anotonio thoughs Quatre(who is already tied up) against the wall and says, 'that may be he should tenderise him first before he eats him'. Anotonio keeps Qautre locked up in the cage for a few days, then he gets a a recipe book(which he also stole from the farmer) out and trys to find a good recipe to use to cook said Rabbit. Suddenly the dogs that the farmer has come in and have a fight with Antonio cos he keeps stealing from the farmer, anyway he gets beated up and as the dogs walk out they let Qautre go free. But good kind hearted Quatre can't just leave the poor, beaten wolf alone and helpshim with his injures. After that Antonio lets Quatre stay at his place as long as they both agree that A) Quatre will never leave the house/cave without antonio's permission and B) that Antonio will never eat Quatre.

Anyway, as time goes by Antonio starts to get hungry and also starts to get 'Heat', this is where the whole yaoi scenes come in so i'm not going to go into detail about that. After the little 'heat scene' the two settle down and go to sleep, but Qautre is worried about his older brother and the family that he left when he met anotion and leaves him.

After this i not quite sure what to do, i thought that maybe Quatre could get shot after he goes looking for his family and then Antonio find him and takes him back to his family while they heal him or i could do it that Antonio joins a pack of wolves. then when they all go hunting together they catch Quatre and his older brother, but antonio stops them from eating them.

But what do you think i should do?

[FireKnifeDancer]

hhhmm...let's see. I believe both are a good thing, and I can see why you're stuck.
Let's try this. (Now remember these are just suggestions take them in any way you will, or don't even take them.)

What if Quatre went back to his family and then his whole family gets shot, and he is presummed dead so Antonio gets news of this and gets sad and leaves and joins a pack of wolves. Months later the slowly dying Quatre finally makes his way back to the cave, and Antonio comes back because his pack comes down that way. Then they find each other that way.

These next suggestions are done by the group(remember it's suggestions, you don't have to take them):

1.Animals can't get in heat with the same gender; it's nature's law...so make them something else if you really want it to continue as yaoi.(try demons or something)
2.How long is Quatre tied up? If it's long, then he wouldn't survive due to the fact that living things need to be sustained with food and water.
3.How human, and how animal are they? It's not very clear. You need to seperate animal and human traits if they both, but if they are more on one side then the other then please make it more clear. We can't understand. Because there's a farmer, and dogs. That's what confused us.

[duoikari]

right ok, that pretty good thanks. I'll just clear somethings up for you.

When i said they like half human and half animal i mean this kind of human/animal. They still have the features of humans and the body but they just have ears and tails.
[IMG]http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/5787/mimiparadisech5pg1013ln.jpg[/IMG]

and when i say that anotonio get heat mean basically he gets horny,(mating season) but it just a fewer words.

Quatre will be tied up for two or three days and he will be fed and watered, cos why on earth would antonio capture him if he was just going to let him starve to death. He's gotta keep him healthy.

I also like the idea of Quatre's llittle rabbit family being killed but i would just like to keep his older brother alive(who is called vans by the way). This is only cos they are all in the fanfiction that i wrote and in the actually fanfic Antonio and vans don't get along and Vans is quite cocky.

Thank you very much for the advice, but could you please help me with another thing, i was trying to write a fanfic about naruto. I couldn't disided whether to make it a yaoi or a normal romance fanfic, so i though i'd ask your opinion.

There are three ways this story could go but i think the third is a little far fetched but hey here i go. This first idea for a YAOI fanfic, it would be set in a AU cos i don't really know the series that well but the village will be kept the same, anyway the story begins with naruto seeing a strange figure walking towards the village, it turns out that it is sasuke and he has disided to live in Naruto little village for a short period of time. Mean while Naruto get bullied and really badly, no one talks to him in school and the hatred towards him has grown so big that Naruto has had to move out into the woods to live cos he keeps get harassed by the villages. Anyway as sasuke does not know Naruto or that he has the demon fox thing inside of him he gets curious and ask Sakura why he is hated some much. So after school her and the little gang of people (the dear farmer, the guy with the dog and the bug guy) all go in to the woods and pick on Naruto. That as about as far as i got.

However the second plot follows the same storyline but instead of sasuke being friendly to Naruto he is really evil and cruel to him and rapes him, then Hinata finds Naruto one day wondering around with scratches and bruise all over his body and takes him back to his house in the woods. As i have said it's in the same settings as the first one. Hinata then fixes Naruto up and then start to go check on him everyday and they end up falling in love with each other.

The last one i though of was a fanfic about a monster that keeps killing people in the village, no one knows what it is or where it came from but the ninji army people thing are going to try and find out. After a number of tracking excerise, sasuke, naruto, sakura and kakashi are sent out into the woods and search for this monster. After about 2 hours they give up for the time being and set up camp. That's when sasuke start to piece things together and remembers thing that he has seen and heard about from naruto. Sasuke remises about the times when Naruto has looked very tired and when asked he says, that 'i didn't sleep very well' and times when he has gone to Naruto house to met him and there has been blood on his sheets and on his hands. Sasuke then twigs that the monster that has been killing the people in the village is actually Naruto, but he can't help it, when he sleeps the demon fox comes out in him and goes searching for food and that how the villager were being killed. but i haven't worked out the ending.

Well that about as much as i can say at the moment so get back to me ok :catgirl: and thanks for your help before

[FireKnifeDancer]

Alright...here we go again. My suggestion is, that you go with all three. Since the first plot still needs something you can add the other two in with it. For example, since Naurto is getting picked on the demon fox comes out, and starts to trample the village as a sort of revenge. Then they are sent on a mission to destroy the demon, but either Sauske or Sakura (or both...your choice) love him enough not to destroy him, and they end up curing him.

My calleges from college gave me these suggestions:
1. We agree with faiya
2. We would suggest normal love fiction
3. Thanks for thinking our advice is worthwhile.

On the yoai one up above...I see now. It's okay...I am glad you feel like we've helped enough that you can trust us with that. However; now that we understand I think that it's alright if you keep the characters the way they are. However; if you wouldn't mind, could you call them...something other then wolf and bunny? Just another suggestion.

[duoikari]

why? what wrong with wolf and bunny?

But thanks for the advice, and i'll think about the Naruto one, i just though it would be good to something like a horrior and a romance one since well, it's not in the series.

But yaoi is my speaciality and i'm not to good and talking about girls i much prefer to talk and do stories about guys, however i really like the idea of Naruto and Hinnta getting together

[FireKnifeDancer]

to the yoai person: listen...if you intend on being a writer you must be able to write anything and everything. You can't just stick to one subject. No one will read your work if you continue to do the same thing over and over again. If you're gonna be a writer, you must be verse in everything. Okay? Experiment, and love everything. I may sound like I am telling you to do something, but it is true people always are looking for something new so you must do something new. Kay? Please don't get mad at me!!!

to the other person who needs help: just post your story and i'll help you.

[duoikari]

[QUOTE=FireKnifeDancer]to the yoai person: listen...if you intend on being a writer you must be able to write anything and everything. You can't just stick to one subject. No one will read your work if you continue to do the same thing over and over again. If you're gonna be a writer, you must be verse in everything. Okay? Experiment, and love everything. I may sound like I am telling you to do something, but it is true people always are looking for something new so you must do something new. Kay? Please don't get mad at me!!!

to the other person who needs help: just post your story and i'll help you.[/QUOTE]

the i wanted to do it as bunny and wlf because it will be different, also i have done many fanfiction that all have different plots(also i don't intend to be a writer, i just do it for the sake of fun) but anyway there are so many yaoi plots that i could down school, doctors, teacher and pupil and so many other that are so old and tired. So i thought a rabbit and wolf was a easy to draw and cute story to do that's all. But if you read my fanfiction you will find that they are all very different ¬¬.

but thanks anyway i'll be coming back soon for more help so, see ya

[FireKnifeDancer]

I see...remember I am just suggesting. I don't tell you to do anything. I see that wolf and bunny might be different for you, but for other people it may tired to them, and then the other things might not be. In any case that's right...I was just suggesting that you try different things. That's all

[duoikari]

that's ok ^^

I got another problem though, i have a fanfictions that will be going into it's third sequel, so i was really thinking of ending it. (I did post the fanfic up but no one really read it so i never updated it again) But anyway, the story is based around two guys who fall in love with each but there both from different planet, (it's a yaoi and a cross over). You actaully have to read the whole thing to get really intoit but i'll just explain the plot to you.

This are the same two guys that are in the manga i was talking about earlier, (Anotonio and Quatre). Antonio had been stuck on a space ship for three years and after being found he was told to go live with quatre, the two fall in love but then break up due to a guy coming back and ruining the relationship that they had. Antonio moves back to juipter and takes on a little blonde haired kid. Later on other things happen and the two get back together and they adapt the kid and call him mushra.

That was all in the first one, which was 169 pages and called Question and answers.

The second one is set ten years on and Quatre and Antonio are still together and Mushra is now 12 going on 13. This story isn't finished but it will be soon, but so far Mushra tried to find out who is real father was but found out that he was kinda nutty and that's why his mother kept him away from him when he was young. Also when he went to go see his father he molestered him, lucky Anotonio and Quatre came in to save him and he fine now. Also Quatre and Antonio were having relationship porblems which have now been sorted out.

next i was planning to have them adopt another child, a little 8 year old boy from jupiter called Kenji, who mother and older brother died in a car accident. But him and father live, however his father used to blame him for the death of his mother and his brother and used to beat him so he was taken into care. Anyway Q and A adopt him and that is the end of the second one.

For the third one i wanted to kill the two characters off(Quatre and Antonio), cos if i didn't then i would end up doing another one. But this time it would 5 years on from the second one, so mushra would be 18 and kenji would be 12. I thought that i could have Antonio killed first by someone from his past(he has a very complecated past that i'm not going to go into) and becuase Quatre loves him so much he kills himself and then the two boys carry on with there lives. in this situation Kenji will find out that he is gay and fall in love with the prince of juipter and Mushra will get married and have children of his own. This is kinda like moving on to the next generation .

But the other way i could do it is that because kenji's father went into prison, when he comes out he wants kenji to come live with him and his new wife and his new step brother. And because the adopt is not legal on the planet that they are on he is forced to go live with them. HE does get away but as he trys to get back to Quatre and Antonio he gets picked up by the prince of jupiter who takes him back and rapes him becuase he doesn't want everyone to think that he is a good two shoes like his father. Then Antonio is killed by a member of the government and Quatre is pushed off the top of the railing where he works, this launches a new war with jupiter and the planet that Mushra is on.

Or the other way it could go is, Antonio gets stab or shot by someone from his past and has a whole moment where he sees his father and tells him how he felt(note Antonio father died when he was 14). And he pulls through, Quatre and Antonio then get back together and Mushra gets married and kenji goes off with the prince anyway. So everyone wins

Which do you think is better?, personally it would break my heart to kill them off but then again i love tear jerking moments and i think it would be a good end to the series. but i would really like your opinion on this one cos i'm at a lose.

(PS. IF ANYONE STEALS THIS STORYLINE THEN I WILL PERSONALLY KILL THEM WITH MY OWN HANDS)

[FireKnifeDancer]

okay....remember how I said you need to experiment because things get old? Well, it's happening again. Not to be rude or anything, but using the same characters, and doing the same type of plot does get old. Believe me, it will. I know...because if you go to the same aouther and they do the exact same thing over and over again..well...it's just not worth reading because it's predicatable. People want new and exciting to keep them on the egde of their seats. Would you like it if you had to do that? Your favorite auother keeps doing the same thing over and over again. It's like an actor...if they only play one role all the the time...they are not a very good actor because it's just not convincing. Actors need to make it convincing, and story writers need to make it believeable.

As to the five endings try to combine them. As to killing off the two people let's try something....it's in outer space, right? Well...why don't we say something like...they were frozen in an ice chamber, and were put in a space sattilite. The sattilite went a drift so no one ever saw them again.So it really wouldn't be...killing them off...but they could be in another dimension...or anything...so it leaves it open. What do you think?

[duoikari]

no sorry not kean on that, it cos the story is more down to earth then that. I think if you read the first one you would understand more but i can see that is not going to happen so...

You see the story mainly revolvers around antoino, but antonio has a very dark past so i thought that i could do it that someone comes back from his past.

You see cos it's a yaoi i don't know if i'm allowed to post what happens

[Masked Princess]

I need help with an idea for a story but this is all i got:about a girl who is suppose to be queen of her nation but dosn't know it until she is told she is adopted and now has to save her nation or the evil guy will destroy it.i don't know what eles to write about and it getting me mad :animeangr :animesmil :animeswea

[kitsunekami]

um, dun worry it'll come to ya? well, let's see here... pretty good for a basic plot. you need to come up with some other minor characters. like, the girl's freinds n stuff and the evil guy's alleys and motives. you also need a setting n such.

if you want to write bout somthing else, just come up with a genre you want to write bout and then branch it from there.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=Purple]duoikari so far I like your plots, both of them, and I'd love to see the finished products.

I have quite a few stories im poking around with though my problem isn't the stories it's my inaility to draw :animeswea[/COLOR]

[kitsunekami]

yeah, duoikari, is so dam good. your plots and everything else. art specially. how long have you been drawing???

[FireKnifeDancer]

[quote name='Masked Princess']I need help with an idea for a story but this is all i got:about a girl who is suppose to be queen of her nation but dosn't know it until she is told she is adopted and now has to save her nation or the evil guy will destroy it.i don't know what eles to write about and it getting me mad :animeangr :animesmil :animeswea[/quote]

alright...let's see if it's ideas then no problems. I live to inspire. However; if it's construction then here's some starters

1. needs a love interest
2. needs a time setting
3. had a good plot and idea, and now it needs the details.
4. needs a little comedy, a little drama, and a center that is the theme for the story.

for the ideas.

Usually plots with princesses have princes...try playing on that.
Try haveing either a cute and cuddley sidekick animal or a comedy relief that makes every plot great.
There's also the lost item theory where she has to go and find an item that is tied to the world, and the world will be destroyed without it.
There's the "oh help me! I am a damsel in distress" theory which is basically self-explanitory.
There's the battle princess Xena theory, where she's bad-butt...where she'll kick butt left and right...
if you need more then just tell me

[duoikari]

thank all your very kind :animesmil but i'm nothing special, i just wanted to ask though, the artist who done No money(yaoi manga) has brought out a novel for some of her mangas but has donepictures to go with them. Is it true that you can write a stroy and have it be turned into a fanfiction?

Also i have only been drawing proper anime for about mmm....5 years, maybe less, but i was drawing anime since i was 13 and i'm now 18.

And trust me if you read some of the plots i come up with you know that they are complete rubbish.

But i have one plot that i really want to make into a book but i can't image the characters as real people and i can't imagine the book selling, so that is why i want to know if you can have original fanfiction published.

[Dale_Valley]

ok fireknife, let me toss this at you, i want your proffesional englich major opinion as well as any advice that you can give me

Saga of Strife (working title):
Setting: a wierd some wierd funky cosmic corupt nast dirty world of tomarrow, but with demons and magic and all that good stuff (real original right?, but hey, wat setting other hasent been used already? huh?HUh? punk.)
in this funky world, the main character Striferave (hence the title) recieved special powers . which are curently bing called "Blue Light" (dont say anything) anyway. he was born during some kind of alignement, making him a fullfiler of a prophacy, (again, "real" original.) anyway. a bunch'a mean demaons didnt want him to completely fulfill the prohpacy, cause they would probably die if it did. so they went, and they like so totaly stolel his soul (no i am not gay.) afet that, to further his pain. they split it into several peieces. striferaven then became pretty much a body that did what ever peolple with his soul, told him to do. he went on like this being the ultimate evil warrior. and because of his "Blue light" powers, and the loss of his soul, he was able to live (this isnt in concrete) 200 years in servatuide without ageing a day. so he basically is like 19 or somthing. anyway. by mere fluke he regains part of his soul, and regains his consiuos, but after doing so he went into shock, and was ther fore, still pretty much just a body under others control. when the demon guys found out, they started a ritual that would take the small part of his souls he had reagained, back from him. (man that suks) but befoer it could be finished he reawoke completely, and unleashed major woopazz. but part of the ritual happend, so he kindo lost his memory, and all of his knowledge about his powers. and became half dead. he was found later that day by a sqaud of humans that were part of an evil fighting government, SPAWN (i forget wat it stands 4, but it does stand for somthing.) any way. they nursed him back to health, and he became one of thier special agents. he did this for 2 years, and was the best agent SPAWN ever had, because Striveraven still had knowledge of how to fight, and shoot people and that good stuff.


the reall story opens, with Strife trying to leave SPAWN, so he can seek out to find about his past. (he doesnt remember anything.) but this is denied. the leaders of SPAWN do however agree to let him become a mercenary, with legal attchments to SPAWN. he is orderd to then assemble a team out of people chosen by SPAWN. he choses and the team becomes this

Striferaven-leader, main guy. clumsey (u always have 2 have slumsy people in mangas) because of loss of soul. and not entirely secure about himself.

Dialen- Strife's best friend, an ex demon slayer that had his mind transfered to that of a cats as a form of punishment, pervert of group. (always have to have one of those pervert guys)

Fellis- werewolf, out to repay the evil he had caused wiht good.

Sonja Jenai- a young sorceress that must fullfill a promise made made to her dyeing mother, mortaly wounded by a superior dark being. usually underestimated, but has powerful amount of untapped energy. ( does she seek after the heart of Strife?)

Engi-ninga girl, also has oath to fulfill. (or does she seek after Strife?)

anyway, the group goes along and does random mercenary things, ocasionally finding information about what Strife's past is realy about.(and that paragraph is said just to keep it short)

this thing is really seriuous at times, and really stupid and silly at times. has lots of accidental" things and funny awkward stuff as well as romance.(its all pretty broad on genre. )

i have a whole lot of other stuff, jingles and jingles of things that happen as well as more characters than you can shake a fiddle stick at (im from texas). but of course i have kind of "tried" to keep it short. but yah there is a whole bunch of other stuff, if you want to see it, i can take a stab at trying to type out some more.

not all of this stuff is up to date since i originaly wrote it some time ago.

now if this looks familiar to anybody its because i have copied and pasted this thing about 4 times on Otakuboards.

[Dale_Valley]

plez ignore this i accidentally submitted mylast post twice. sorry

[FireKnifeDancer]

Well, well. Dale valley....I think it's a wonderful start. You have all the great makings of a good story. However; it seems to me that you don't like the over-playedness of your plot...well, this is easily fixed. Let's see. We can tweak it so that it's not so predicatable...let's see...think of something that is so random...that no one would expect it...for example... "It was a dark and stormy night...." what would expect next? Something to jump up....a scream....things going bump in the night...here's what I mean. Anticapate what people well think...then do the opposite."....and yellowcoat danced in it." something like that. If you're still confused then ask me more questions.

[Dale_Valley]

wow, i havent read that thing since i posted it the first time (this site needs a spell check) and there is a whole lot ive changed since i first posted it. for one major thing ive changed (and this goes with your unexpecked thing.) you never know that Strife was the Dark Angel (the bad guys super warrior) but over time you come to believe that he is the profecied "Protector" that will put an end to the Dark Angle and his followers. you find out much later into the story, when it gets really deep.

also, during the ceremony where he loses his memory, strife doesnt just pass out , he is pulled into a tomb, there he sits for 7 years before the squad guys find him.

then just before he gets part of his soul back, strife was sent on several missions that led to 1st Killing the lover of Fellis, that kept him good, sending him on a rampage witch got him captured by special sages; who then forced him to do good stuff to live. then 2nd he captured Dialen so he could be turned into a cat. 3rd he destroyed the largest settlement of Enji's people, the Senka. she then , believeing herself to be the last of the great senka, set an oath to bring honor to the name of the senka again. 4th Strife did pretty much the same thing to Sonja when he destoyed her families massive shine palace (ooh, shine [I]PALACE[/I] !) and she was told told by her dieing mother to fullfill the legacy of her family and discover the Lost Profecies (those arent detailed yet) and help fullfill them. and 5th and finally, he destoyed the largest and most major city of the time. doing so he killed most of katani's familly while she and her older brother were away. so they are all friends with Strife, and never know that he is the reason so much bad stuff has happend to them.

all of the characters that suffered were really young escpecailly katani, (excpet Fellis, he's really old but doesnt age a whole lot, like strife, because he's a werewolf, and Dialen, after the transformation, he went into kitty coma for 6 years and was like 20 to begin with)when the stuff happened, so when the story actually starts everybodys bodies ages are from 14-21. except for Dialen, hes a cat, i dont know how that will really work.

so, while the story goes on, they all have the kinda side objectives to discover and destroy the Dark Angel, recover lost "Blue Light" from evil doers, and discover Strifes lost past/ get his soul and memory back.

also as you can guess, when Strife finally discovers that he is the Dark Angle (ive been doing that the whole time, i figured id let it be "angle" this time just for kicks.) he is devastaded. he remembers all that he has stolen, plundered, killed, raped (yes that too), and especially how he did so much to his now best friends, especially the city he destroyed!

thanks for the advice youve given me so far, ill keep that in mind. tell mw what you think of this stuff.

[FireKnifeDancer]

[QUOTE=Dale_Valley]wow, i havent read that thing since i posted it the first time (this site needs a spell check) and there is a whole lot ive changed since i first posted it. for one major thing ive changed (and this goes with your unexpecked thing.) you never know that Strife was the Dark Angel (the bad guys super warrior) but over time you come to believe that he is the profecied "Protector" that will put an end to the Dark Angle and his followers. you find out much later into the story, when it gets really deep.

also, during the ceremony where he loses his memory, strife doesnt just pass out , he is pulled into a tomb, there he sits for 7 years before the squad guys find him.

then just before he gets part of his soul back, strife was sent on several missions that led to 1st Killing the lover of Fellis, that kept him good, sending him on a rampage witch got him captured by special sages; who then forced him to do good stuff to live. then 2nd he captured Dialen so he could be turned into a cat. 3rd he destroyed the largest settlement of Enji's people, the Senka. she then , believeing herself to be the last of the great senka, set an oath to bring honor to the name of the senka again. 4th Strife did pretty much the same thing to Sonja when he destoyed her families massive shine palace (ooh, shine [I]PALACE[/I] !) and she was told told by her dieing mother to fullfill the legacy of her family and discover the Lost Profecies (those arent detailed yet) and help fullfill them. and 5th and finally, he destoyed the largest and most major city of the time. doing so he killed most of katani's familly while she and her older brother were away. so they are all friends with Strife, and never know that he is the reason so much bad stuff has happend to them.

all of the characters that suffered were really young escpecailly katani, (excpet Fellis, he's really old but doesnt age a whole lot, like strife, because he's a werewolf, and Dialen, after the transformation, he went into kitty coma for 6 years and was like 20 to begin with)when the stuff happened, so when the story actually starts everybodys bodies ages are from 14-21. except for Dialen, hes a cat, i dont know how that will really work.

so, while the story goes on, they all have the kinda side objectives to discover and destroy the Dark Angel, recover lost "Blue Light" from evil doers, and discover Strifes lost past/ get his soul and memory back.

also as you can guess, when Strife finally discovers that he is the Dark Angle (ive been doing that the whole time, i figured id let it be "angle" this time just for kicks.) he is devastaded. he remembers all that he has stolen, plundered, killed, raped (yes that too), and especially how he did so much to his now best friends, especially the city he destroyed!

thanks for the advice youve given me so far, ill keep that in mind. tell mw what you think of this stuff.[/QUOTE]

Very good, very good. However; (now don't take my advice thinking that I am always looking for something, because it's a heck of a lot better then what I can think of) it seems that you have wonderful thoughts....you just need good organization. Organize your thoughts and events in a time squences. You would probably have the best story...if you kept everything on a time line. Try that and call me in the morning.

[Dale_Valley]

Ok how about this, as simple timeline/order of events list of how the story works:

There have always been demons and other ?paranormal? type objects around the world, however, most of them have been living low in population, and kept under cover by most of the world?s governments.
1. However, sometime after 2030, a new world war began, and all of earth became evolved in battle, death, and destruction, blah blah blah, you know the WWIII drill.
2. The demons and other ?paranormal? beings took advantage of this time when the governments were preoccupied, and stepped out into the knowledge of the world; they began repopulate more, and became active in society. And BAM there you go, you got demons and other kooky stuff in the world.
3. Anyway, amongst all the Chaos, time is basically lost track of. This period of time is called ?the Newer Dark Age?
4. Prophecies are made and spread to the knowledge of the world. They pertain to different things.
5. Divine and higher beings delegate to the Earth and give a power called ?Blue light? (still working on the name) to selected righteous and good people and warriors to help bring betterment to the world.
6. Eventually, after a few hundred years, order is brought again, to a degree. The world isn?t like it was to begin with just yet.
7. A new degree of year is created (degrees=B.C. A.D.) it?s called FY Final Years.
8. Almost a hundred more years go by.
9. The true righteous people who hold the ?blue lights? are becoming more scare.
10. Striferaven lives with his family within a smallish village of Rangers. He too became a Ranger.
11. While still young (around 18 or so) and a Ranger, he received a blue light from a dieing previous holder of it. Soon afterward, he was tracked down by a demonic brotherhood, he was then captured and his village was destroyed, and his whole family murdered.
12. Striferaven has his soul taken, and is forced into soulless servitude of the brotherhood.
13. After around 200 years of service, he gets part of his soul back, and is released but is put into a sleep like stasis for 7 year. But just before he is free,
14. {about here is where the story actually starts} Striferaven is found a revived by the underground government/military SPAWN
15. Strife serves SPAWN for 2 years, then is allowed to create a mercenary team with financial and legal ties to SPAWN.
16. Strife builds the team.
17. The rest isn?t quite defined yet, but it?s just basically the tales of all the missions the team does, and all the stuff they discover. At the same time, they are in search of the Dark Angle, unaware that it is Strife. And they discover the brotherhood that had enslaved Strife. Eventually, at some point, they also find out the truth about Strife.
18. Yah, rest isn?t defined enough to bother posting it.

anyway, thats wat i far fire, is this kindas liek wat you meant?

PS if any body has a good name for the "Blue Light" stuff, plez pm me or some other stuff.

[Guest koori-chan]

well... here's something i came up in my sleep....

there's dis girl named fayt serene shes human and she from our dimention but then a guy abducted her and brought her to a place called requiem where she was told she had to be this priestess of balance(the one who must put things in their proper places, mainly the dead to their final destination and keeping the bridge between dimentions close so that they dont return to hunt the living and so that the living wont try to revive the dead or so that peolple from requiem get to her dimention and people from her dimention dont accidently stumble to requiem). at first she could believe it but she eventually did when she found out she wasn't the first of her kind who was chosen. then she found out what her missions were and that she was to be accompanied everywhere she went with beings called phantoms (the guy who abducted her was a phantom too). they were to be her protectors, friends, comrades, teachers, guide and shadows. she instantlly became close to 2 of her phantoms, lance ercole(guy who abducted her) and leon fitir. they went on different missions and became closer with each trial. but ther was one mission they failled to do, it was to sent the soul of the vengeful evil former king of requiem to erfovre(land of souls). at first they just couldnt find it but then when they did it was possesing a 18-yr-old boy named syren who wanted revenge against fayt coz she broke his connect with his dead sister's soul(it was a bridge to erforve).
syren gained power from the former king and was now unstoppable, he recruited souls and even living poeple to go against the pristess and her phantoms. the phantoms and fayt fought back but only fayt, lance and leon where the ones who got to syren(the rest were either still fighting or dead). when they arrived at the castle leon parted with them coz he was unable to fight coz of his injuries. so fayt and lance went on but lance realized this was fayts last mission and was worried if he might see her again coz he secrectly loved her. fayt didnt know about this so she became worried about him acting so strange. when they got to syren they started figthing and all but in the middle of the fight he starts playing with lance's head coz he knew what he feared, losing fayt. fayt and lance were a stong team but they were not strong enough win. fayt realizes this and decides to use her last resort, killing syren and sealing the soul of the king in a new born child(he wont be able to posses the kid coz his soul was binded with the childs soul and the childs soul was strenghten while his was weakened) instead of sending them to erfovre. after that they went back to where leon was and then fayt and leon talk for a while while lance is asleep. fayt knew she had failed and asked leon to sent her back to her realm so she could kill herself(being the priestess meant you cant die until u finished all your missions and fayt wasnt the priestess anymore if she was in her dimention) but leon tells her she cant run away from her responsibilities. she said she was aware of that but she also knew she would live again at the time the seal will break but as another human, her reincarnation. leon agrees and does as she says.

200 yrs. later.....
keele rizen a 21-yr-old girl is a famous, aloof, critical, short tempered, romance novelist with her cousin claire sien(also her editor) attend an interview when keele runs off and get to this antique shop where she meets a guy named leon and became friends with him. while claire who went in search of keele bumped into lance who brought her to the antiqueshop becoz she suddenlly became ill. ther they all got to know each other but keele just couldnt get along with lance. leon then gives her an antique panting of a strange temple(temple where fayt stayed in requiem) as a momento of their encounter. that night keele starts to have dreams about some part of her past life but was scared by them. the next day she went back to the antique shop where she was greated by a painting of a woman in white robes who looks a lot like her. then she sees lance and asks about the painting but lance was mean towards her and so they start aguing and only stops when leon arrived.leon tells her more about the person in the painting but never revealed anything bout requiem and her past life. keele was intersted in a painting she saw while leon was explaining, it was the portrait of a familiar crest. then see realizes she saw it in one of her dreams. leon and lance knew it would give her flashbacks. then leon told her things like,"so you finally remember. that's good." she was confused coz she still didnt understand all tha things going on. finally a portal to requiem is opened and she was forcefully carried inside the portal by lance while leon apologizes for the way lance treats her but then she loses conciousness. when see wakes up she was in a soft and fluffy bed, she got up and wondered where she was........

and there's where i run out of ideas.... i was wondering how i could get her reaquinted with the other phantoms and how i could get her to start with her missions :animestun my brain does want to work anymore!!!! help please!!!!! :animecry: