Manga Working on stories for manga.

[FireKnifeDancer]

hello! sorry I have been neglecting everyone. I have been worked to death, and getting paid crap for it.

[QUOTE=koori-chan]well... here's something i came up in my sleep....

there's dis girl named fayt serene shes human and she from our dimention but then a guy abducted her and brought her to a place called requiem where she was told she had to be this priestess of balance(the one who must put things in their proper places, mainly the dead to their final destination and keeping the bridge between dimentions close so that they dont return to hunt the living and so that the living wont try to revive the dead or so that peolple from requiem get to her dimention and people from her dimention dont accidently stumble to requiem). at first she could believe it but she eventually did when she found out she wasn't the first of her kind who was chosen. then she found out what her missions were and that she was to be accompanied everywhere she went with beings called phantoms (the guy who abducted her was a phantom too). they were to be her protectors, friends, comrades, teachers, guide and shadows. she instantlly became close to 2 of her phantoms, lance ercole(guy who abducted her) and leon fitir. they went on different missions and became closer with each trial. but ther was one mission they failled to do, it was to sent the soul of the vengeful evil former king of requiem to erfovre(land of souls). at first they just couldnt find it but then when they did it was possesing a 18-yr-old boy named syren who wanted revenge against fayt coz she broke his connect with his dead sister's soul(it was a bridge to erforve).
syren gained power from the former king and was now unstoppable, he recruited souls and even living poeple to go against the pristess and her phantoms. the phantoms and fayt fought back but only fayt, lance and leon where the ones who got to syren(the rest were either still fighting or dead). when they arrived at the castle leon parted with them coz he was unable to fight coz of his injuries. so fayt and lance went on but lance realized this was fayts last mission and was worried if he might see her again coz he secrectly loved her. fayt didnt know about this so she became worried about him acting so strange. when they got to syren they started figthing and all but in the middle of the fight he starts playing with lance's head coz he knew what he feared, losing fayt. fayt and lance were a stong team but they were not strong enough win. fayt realizes this and decides to use her last resort, killing syren and sealing the soul of the king in a new born child(he wont be able to posses the kid coz his soul was binded with the childs soul and the childs soul was strenghten while his was weakened) instead of sending them to erfovre. after that they went back to where leon was and then fayt and leon talk for a while while lance is asleep. fayt knew she had failed and asked leon to sent her back to her realm so she could kill herself(being the priestess meant you cant die until u finished all your missions and fayt wasnt the priestess anymore if she was in her dimention) but leon tells her she cant run away from her responsibilities. she said she was aware of that but she also knew she would live again at the time the seal will break but as another human, her reincarnation. leon agrees and does as she says.

200 yrs. later.....
keele rizen a 21-yr-old girl is a famous, aloof, critical, short tempered, romance novelist with her cousin claire sien(also her editor) attend an interview when keele runs off and get to this antique shop where she meets a guy named leon and became friends with him. while claire who went in search of keele bumped into lance who brought her to the antiqueshop becoz she suddenlly became ill. ther they all got to know each other but keele just couldnt get along with lance. leon then gives her an antique panting of a strange temple(temple where fayt stayed in requiem) as a momento of their encounter. that night keele starts to have dreams about some part of her past life but was scared by them. the next day she went back to the antique shop where she was greated by a painting of a woman in white robes who looks a lot like her. then she sees lance and asks about the painting but lance was mean towards her and so they start aguing and only stops when leon arrived.leon tells her more about the person in the painting but never revealed anything bout requiem and her past life. keele was intersted in a painting she saw while leon was explaining, it was the portrait of a familiar crest. then see realizes she saw it in one of her dreams. leon and lance knew it would give her flashbacks. then leon told her things like,"so you finally remember. that's good." she was confused coz she still didnt understand all tha things going on. finally a portal to requiem is opened and she was forcefully carried inside the portal by lance while leon apologizes for the way lance treats her but then she loses conciousness. when see wakes up she was in a soft and fluffy bed, she got up and wondered where she was........

and there's where i run out of ideas.... i was wondering how i could get her reaquinted with the other phantoms and how i could get her to start with her missions :animestun my brain does want to work anymore!!!! help please!!!!! :animecry:[/QUOTE]


Well...so good so far. Not many details to work off of though. With the running out of thoughts thing...try...more flashbacks! When she first sees a phantom she instantly has a vision (flashback) of the day they first met.
Or...you could have them realize that she has an acute case of amnesia, and they will come to try and cure it for her by introducing themselves again.
or...when she goes on missions again you could have a phantom at every mission who does one of the about things (in other words she either has a flashback about them, or they introduce themselves again...or both)

For the missions...think I wanna do something I've never done before. Then read books, watch movies, read comics, watch cartoons. Get ideas. Don't copyright. Just absorb the way the writer or director does things to the imagination and thought processes, and you will get inspired.

If you're wondering why I don't just give you suggestions for that...it's because I don't want to have a big influence on your creativity.

Ofcourse remember...everything is a suggestion.

[color=darkblue][size=1][b]In the future, please keep in mind that double-posting is usually not allowed on OB. Please use the Edit button to add something to your post in the future, thanks.[/b][/color][/size]

[damatte]

My idea's not even original...but a lot of stories has some attachment to a previous stories like all the remakes and stuff. I wanted to give up on it, but 1, I've been planning this for 3 months, that's just be a waste of hours of work. And 2, my friend says it's not really original, but I should make it really good and more original.

It's simple, a demon-girl tries to assasinate a demon king and fails horribly. In turn she must become his servant, but ends up as the commander of his army for some reason. The king is literally bipolar, what moment he's hot and sexy, next moment he's bouncing off the wall screaming "LOVE POWER!!!!" like crazy.

The king's army is insane, there's 3 parts to the army. The regular humanoid demons, in other words, the average army. Then the big scary demons...who takes scaring classes -_-;; (I think I got that from Monster's Inc...) and then there's the insane demons of the army...and those include sneaky little magical turtles who can slip into the shadows and are insanely fast (ninja-like qualities are an effect of Teenage Mutant Turtles, *laughs*) and there's also the karate-fighting duck-demons who have a thing for gambling. And finally there's the bear-demons, cute cuddly things that like to hug, but can go beserk when pissed.

It's a really long story with lotsa different stuff, so my summary's kinda wierd...
And yeah, it's kinda...eh...maybe I'll post some of the sketches of the first chapter's page drafts, that might help. Or maybe my event outline, but I don't have it with me right now...

[Chikara Kokoro]

This might be kind of weird, but I wanted to check before really giving you a critique on your story, damatte. I just wanted to know if this is supposed to be a comedy or not. The characters you have talked about seem that way, but the premise- with the demon king and the assassin, etc.- feels more serious, if that makes sense.

[damatte]

It's supposed to be serious and like...funny at the same time. Like it's wierd, it switches off and on every now and then, but it's mostly fun, except for like, towards the end, I'm still thinking out that last scene though. Sorry, for not explaining that earlier! ><

[Chikara Kokoro]

Since you've decided to have it be both comedic and serious you're going to have quite a challenge ahead of you walking that fine line.

The character of the king, or at least what you've posted, seems to be a bit too polar opposite for no good reason. As the lead male (I'm assuming), he needs to be a believable character. It's impossible to have feelings for a character that isn't at least on some level based on reality. Give him good, solid reasons for him acting like that (other than his being psychopathic) and you should be fine in that area.

On a similar note, what's the demon-girl like? The personality of the main character can set up the tone of the whole story... She is the main character, right?

The scaring school thing should probably go. Perhaps you could just include a course on scaring in their military training, but not make it a huge deal, just something they have to go through to be a member of the army.

It'd be great if you could post some more information. That way I can give you a critique based more on the story line, or whatever you feel you need help with.

[damatte]

The main character (Kyoko) is a tomboy with a short temper, so she always ends up whacking the king for being an idiot. None of my friends cared that the king was unrealistic, so thanks, I'll work on that.

The storyline's...eggghhh, I can't explain it very much, it's just pretty much Kyoko trying survive the king's crazy kingdom. And like the king's country gets into wars with like 3 other countries, and gets involved with heaven, etc. So there's Kyoko's crazy over-protective brother that comes in, trying to drag Kyoko back home, there's the angel, Cremia, who's like Flonne from the game Disgaea (flaky and pure and happy-go-lucky), Kyoko's mother who's flaky too and kind and kinda...ehh....crazy, but just a tad. There's also Kyoko's dad who gets in a war against the king's country and wants to rule the entire Netherworld, so he first sends out his kids to pull that off. Who else is there....? Oh yeah, there's the savage monster-king who is only intrested in inflicting plain.

Sorry if it's kinda funky, I can't explain very well, plus the storyline's not really clear...If I finish some pages, I'll post up some of my pages later.

[Chikara Kokoro]

I adore tomboy characters, but be sure she has something different about her from all of the other tomboy characters that are out there too.

I'd love to see some pages of this whenever you get around to it. Be sure to post it when you do!

[damatte]

Hahaha, okay, I've only done one days though, so you can at least see what Kyoko, the main character looks like. Quick question though, if I have a story idea that's not original, is it good to add original characters and events and make it seem original? So it doesn't seem like every other manga.

[Chikara Kokoro]

Whether or not you can get away with having an unoriginal plot mixed with a cast of wonderful, loveable (or love-to-hate-able) characters is mainly dependant on the reader.

For me, characters are much more important than any plot. In fact, most of the stories I write have no plot at all other than throwing some characters together and finding out what happens XD Other people make sure that there's a good plot before they even look at a manga's pages.

There are innumerable stories that focus around twisting faerie tales to the author?s liking, and most are still popular despite the premise.

When you add your own characters and events into an old story and infuse it with your own personal touch, it has the potential to become something completely different (in a very good way).

[damatte]

OoOoOOh....intresting, I never thought of it THAT way, *laughs* I alwats focus on the plot first, but it really is intresting...^^