Manga My Manga Idea

[Cruelirony518]

I have begun development on a plot for a manga I would like to write but I'd like some feedback on it first. At the moment I am with out a name for the manga or any of the characters in it, so bare with me please. (Suggestions for those would be appreciated. :animeswea )

The setting I'm still not entirley sure of. I want it to be set in a modern, if not more scientifically advanced world. I have not descided if I want it to be a modern fantasy world. Or one more like our own, that has matured past the existance of dragons, elves and other mythical creatures. Of course, suggestions for this would help.

The main character is a highschool student who is just beginning to really seek purpose and meaning in life. He is also trieing to achieve a level of normality, and hoping to settle into a slightly conformist life at last, where he can live in peace. He is kind, intelligent and and strives to do the right thing. He does have a small bully problem at times because he is of a slightly smaller stature then many but he doesn't let that bother him.

Recently a new student has joined his class. This student is very peculiar and gives the main character an odd amount of attention. He also has displayed some mysterious subtle talents. One day he tells the main character that in a past life the main character was one of the cruelest, most omni-potent tyrants the world have ever known, called, besides his real name, The Cloud King. After pressing this fact on the main character for a little while the main character descides to humor him. In doing so he learns that during the Cloud King's bloody reign, an order of rebel monks selected seven warriors to whom they gave awsome supernatrual abilities. After an incredible battle (in which one of them was destroyed and her soul banished to another dimension) the Cloud King was defeated. The six remaining warriors put their powers together to cast a spell that made it so should the Cloud King return in another life so shall these six warriors. The new student is one of the six and has come to seek and destory the Cloud King. The main character, beiing of a kind and benevolent nature, is seriously distressed by this information.

The new student does not kill the main character because he understands that a change has occured in his soul, although secretly the main character begins to feel the Cloud King's essence taint his mind. (And gradually awakens his terrible powers.) In the mean time, slowly, the other five warriors make themselves known, and most of them attempt to kill the main character, not understanding that he is good. Also, the Cloud King's demon hordes are imerging, and assembling. They sense the end of the world may be near and they seek out their lord to lead them to victory. Whether he wants to or not.

That is pretty much it. How does it sound? I'm hoping its original, although it being my idea, I no doubt have my biases. :D I do have a more extensive and intricate plot planned but I figured that this post is already long enough. But still, and example would be that there is a signifigance to the seventh warrior being banished to another dimension. Well anyway, I'm hoping to here what you think!

[Billie_Forever]

Ok sorry about posting on the other board...here we go..^^


I like the idea...It reminds me of a sort of Shamn King feel where you were talking about the whole school situation (yes i dont getit either)...

But the main plot seems quite sound..though the name "cloud king" makes him seem like some sort of soft character..I didnt really get it but hey i suppose it could be sarcasm..^^...
Oh does he get mixed up on his new path of life and turns for a while back to his old wats but then it all gets too much and he is brought back to his new compassionate and caring side by his group of friends..sorry im getting carried away with myself..i can see it all developing in my head :animeswea :catgirl:

[Cruelirony518]

I did the same thing. . .hehe. . . I am acting really confused today.

Thank you for the feedback.

Actually, your prediction was not to far from the truth. I am planning that for a time he will be completely taken over by his ancient, evil persona. Convienently this occurs just when the Cloud King's powers are needed to fight an omni-potent foe possibly stronger then he.

The linguistics (I guess they could be called that. . . .) for the title Cloud King came from me originally considering things like Dragon King, Demon King, Devil King, or Serpent King. These however were boring and over used names. Then, somehow I thought of Thunder King, it was ok but I didn't like it since thunder is harmless (although so are clouds) so I though "What about Lightning King" but that did not sound good so I combined the two with Cloud King (though now that I think about it I could have called him "Storm King".) I also like it because it isn't an expected or immediatley understood name so it will make my readers think a little bit. *the horror*
Also clouds are significant because they block out the sun, and the name also might suggest that the Cloud King's origins are not of this world. (Or that world, as the case stands.)

[Chikara Kokoro]

I have to give you credit for being the first manga plot summary that I've been able to read all the way through on this forum and still be interested with it when I was done. I do think the story has promise, especially since the it's technically being told from the point of view of the bad guy. If you can show the conflict withing the main character well, then the story should be a good one.
I have to also agree about the "Cloud King" thing. It sounds like a gracious king. The Storm King might work better.
Any story with magical powers has a strong tendency to become cliché if done wrong. Be sure to keep an eye on this.
Are you planning on posting this on the web? If so, please post a link for it once it's up. I'd love to see what direction this takes.

[ozmos]

I think the whole idea sounds pretty neat, it is kind of originall and I do agree that it is pretty cool that the main character kind of is the badguy... even tough he isn't bad at all... or something like that ^_^. And like Chikara Kokoro be sure not to make it go overbord (spelling?) with the magical powers, all of this "powerup-stuff" is starting to get a bit repetative if you know what i mean :animeswea

However there is one thing that I don't agree with there guys about and that is the name of the story, I think the name "Cloud King" sounds pretty darn sweet, mainly becouse its not as cliché as if you would have him be an angel of death or the prince of hell or whatever becouse (even tough I like it and I am using this theme in my manga -.-) angels, demons, hell and so forth is starting to get a bit overused. But back to the whole point about the name, another thing that I liked was when you mentioned that clouds cover the sun. I think that you should put some more weight on that, maybe you should have him being called something like "the one who covers the sun" instead of just calling him , the Cloud King... or something like that ^_^

Anyway keep it up and I'm sure it'll end up great, and be sure to post updates here on the bords. Well thats about it, if you have questions about anything I've written or need help or whatever just send me a pm ^_^

See ya...

[Cruelirony518]

Thank you, everyone, for replieing with helpful comments! I've begun work on the script so if anyone is curiouse to see how its going then feel free to ask me for my progress. I'll happily accept feedback on where I'm going with it and whether or not a different direction might be better. Comments along those lines.

Thank you.