Gavin Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 [SIZE=1]The plot thickens like day old Weetabix. What group is responsible for these dastardly deeds, and what is their overall agenda ? Money... women... total domination of the know Internet, or all of the above ? I realise I sound like the narrator at the end of some TV show, and as such I will simply add, ?[B]Stay tuned for the next stimulating instalment of The Bikini Bandits Strike Back[/B]?. Any chance of a job here Annie ? [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drix D'Zanth Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Annie, I?m always happy to read your works of literature. I love the way you tend every character faithfully to a mix of OB personality, and genuine personality! Your series (and I suppose this wonderful sequel is indication that the Bandits are series-worthy?) really flatters the members that are a part of it; evil villain or supercharged Bandit alike. I especially like how your writing style has matured. Some of the characters have not ;), but you have definitely improved since the last Bikini episode. The lead-in with the Alan/Alex news duo was quite appropriate and entertaining, however clumsy. I suppose the format is loose for a reason, and easy enough to follow. You really have mastered the art of weaving an atmosphere. Other OB writers listen up: ?The bright light illuminated the wall full of spattered blood? doesn?t necessarily create the illusion of atmosphere. ?Annie blinked, setting the empty glass down,? does. I really think that these little in-between actions that may seem inconsequential in real conversation are paramount to creating believable instances in your unbelievable setting! By the way, each picture of a seductive Faye really sets the atmosphere quite effectively. I didn?t know so many pictures of her existed. Your characters are fun to read, and their antics are genuinely funny! You are one of very few people on OB who can make me laugh! Each Bandit is wonderfully honored and respected as a unique member of your team. This is as much a tribute to those special ladies than anything else. Speaking of new characters, bravo on mixing in some of the newer members- Retribution?s newest appearance comes to mind. You have him figured out! If I have one complaint, it would be the wishful thinking of somehow being able to hear what the other characters are thinking? although considering the story is written from your perspective, I understand why that?s not possible. Keep exploring descriptive possibilities, sometimes I?d lose track of what characters are where- some would wonder to various places, or simply stop talking and seem to *disappear* (this is rare). Your last post tells me how you are capable of laying quite an epic plot move in a single post! Milk this plot for all it?s worth, I know you?re capable of surprises and I?m hoping to see the wise Goddess Athena use her powers to throw in a fun plot twist or two ^_^. For instance, use more adjectives. A lot of the girls can start blending into each other if you just read their dialogue. You are all kind of sister-esque in that the Bandits appear to think alike (you know what they say.. great minds..); how about how they *sound*? What do they *look* like? I know you?ve gone into this to a certain extent, but explore your writing palette. I guess that?s all I?ll say for now. Lastly, I?ll highlight one of my previous points by quoting something I found quite humorous (was it intended?): [quote name='Athena] [b]?Be careful, Syk3!?[/b] Annie called out and covered her face. It was too late, the moderator had already pounced. With a loud smash, both the stool and Syk3 tumbled to the floor. The only thing Annie saw between her fingers were limbs flailing about, Syk3?s hair, and a few broken pieces of the stool flying around. After a few minutes of listening to him groan and curse, Annie sighed and stood up to help him. [a few lines lower'] ? Forgetting the mangled mess of Syk3 and stool, Annie ran to the keyboard. [/quote] You know, there are [i]two[/i] meanings to the word ?stool?. Think of the significantly more disgusting word (which I did, my idle mind is so dangerous) and re-read this paragraph. :-p Ciao! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 [center][IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/anne-mae/bb4.jpg[/IMG] [size=3][b]Chapter 4- Oh, herro?[/b][/size] [/center] [size=1][I]Click, click, clap, clap[/I], the sound of heels echoed softly at first, but steadily picked up speed and intensity. The pace fluctuated from in sync to out; indicating that there was more than one person approaching. Annie, Syk3, and Arcadia stepped outside the Art by Request forum to see Ezekiel and Mimmi turning the corner of the Studio. The pair stopped and doubled over to catch their breath. They?re hair was a mess and their clothes shredded, and had traces of random letters and letters. [b]?What happened??[/b] Annie knelt beside Ezekiel, whose face on closer inspection carried a furious and shocked expression. Annie looked to Mimmi who kept shaking her head and making effort to release one word. [b]?There were dozens of them,?[/b] her voice trembled, [b]?We couldn?t stop them.? ?They came in all at once after Stuart showed up,?[/b] Ezekiel finally spoke and stood straight. [b]?Who??[/b] Arcadia folded her arms across her chest. [b]?n00bs,?[/b] Mimmi growled. Annie looked to Syk3 and Arcadia, both sighed heavily. The group took a seat in the Constructive Criticism sticky so the story could be told. Mimmi and Ezekiel sat across from Annie; Arcadia stood off to the side, and Syk3 leant against the wall. The room was the center of the Art Studio rules, thus surrounded by traffic. The soft hum of the outside life did little to break the silence before the storm. [b]?Okay, Stuart made his appearance about ten minutes after your IM,?[/b] Mimmi started, brushing out her hair, [b]?At first, perhaps a minute, he was alone. He looked a bit tensed up, and kept glancing over his shoulder. Then,?[/b] she paused, looking to Ezekiel. [b]?Then someone else showed up,?[/b] Ezekiel took over, patting Mimmi?s knee, [b]?I can?t tell you who it was, though.? ?Why not??[/b] Annie scratched at her cheek. [b]?Because the instant the figure started to focus was the instant we got swarmed with n00bs,?[/b] Ezekiel sighed, peeling off the number ?3? from her thigh and dropped it to the floor like a dirty cloth. [b]?It was instantaneous, almost as if it were planned, you know? It was intentional, like a shield,?[/b] Mimmi tried to describe with her hands, also flicking off an occasional letter or number. [b]?I see,?[/b] Annie stood up, [b]?Were the n00bs there when you left?? ?Yes. It was as if we were in a sand storm. They?re n00b language and dialects took over and filled the entire Lounge,?[/b] Ezekiel shuddered and rubbed her arms. Annie nodded and turned to Arcadia, [b]?I would like it if you could get a hold of Simplicity and Sakura; see what they found out, and update them on this situation. I?m going to head over to the Lounge and try to make some sense out of this. Maybe I can beat some sense into one of them and squeeze out some information.?[/b] Arcadia?s face slowly formed a tiny grin in the corners of her mouth. It was her ?badass? grin. Would make sense, right--she?s the Badness. Anyhow, Arcadia swung the door open and made her way for Simplicity and Sakura. Annie turned to the battered bandit pair. [b]?Get cleaned up and rest a bit until I and the others get back. Syk3, would you--?[/b] Annie started but was cut off by Syk3?s extended forefinger. [b]?Don?t worry, if any n00bs try to get past me,?[/b] he reached into his jacket?s breast pocket to pull out his mod rod, [b]?well, let?s just say it won?t be pretty.?[/b] Annie smirked and gave the three a quick salute before leaving the Studio. The OB seemed to be pretty mellow as she walked calmly towards the Lounge. There were a few members striding about, talking and laughing with their friends at their side. A few members sat outside the Music, Movie & TV forum, strumming guitars and discussing their favorite movies of the past year. With the light sound of music and sound effects from television series fading behind her, Annie approached the Lounge with extraordinary caution. She pressed her ear to the door and listened as the loud chatter tangled and churned within. She could hear shouting from older members trying to calm down the relatively new members, shouting from a few moderators and the two admins, and much cursing and random phrases from the n00bs within. [I]Chick-chick..[/I] Annie knew that sound; it was a shotgun readying itself. She jumped back from the door and ducked against the wall; just in case. A series of crashes and booms, followed by pumping of the shotgun was all that was heard. In a matter of a minute and a half, the Lounge was silent. Annie opened the door to see Alan standing amidst the scrabble n00b matter. The smoke and dust settled, and members carefully exited the Lounge. [b]?Jesus, what the fuck was that about? I come back from vacation to that??[/b] Alan swung his trusty shotgun over his shoulder. [b]?Welcome back,?[/b] Annie coughed, waving the settling dust from her face, [b]?This just sprung up.? ?Heh, I haven?t seen a wave of n00bs like that in a long time,?[/b] Alan rubbed his chin. [b]?I know. It was fortunate that you got back when you did,?[/b] Annie shook her foot, flinging dilapidated n00b from her foot. [b]?Well, I?ll leave the cleaning crew for this mess. I?m going to head out,?[/b] Alan nodded firmly and headed for the door, closing it tightly behind him. Standing alone in the middle of the Lounge, Annie scoured the area for anything that could be of use. She shoved old threads that the n00bs had brought back and lifted up new ones that were destroyed with spam. Annie didn?t find a thing besides rubble. She wiped her brow and looked up to see a small shift in a pile a little ways to her right. Quietly, Annie made her way to the pile and grabbed a piece of broken HTML to pry up a thread to look underneath. [b]?|-|3lp m3.??.pw34z..?[/b] it groaned and coughed. Annie crouched beside it and tossed the thread off to the side. The n00b lay motionlessly on the floor. [b]?Who sent you??[/b] Annie tried to sound sincere and friendly. [b]?lol?.h3 pr0mi53d 2 giv3 u5 anim3...?[/b] the n00b looked up at the bandit. [b]?Who did?? ??u can?t no?rofl? ?Can?t know what? Tell me, and I?ll make sure you get medical attention,?[/b] Annie clenched her fists; her patience was dwindling. [b]??w3?LL c0m3 b4cK 2 d3str0y?.teh OB..u just w8...just?.w8.?zomgloolz!!313$!@?[/b] with its last breath, the n00b?s lunatic smirk faded and its body went limp. Cursing, Annie stood up and stormed out of the Lounge; heading back to the Art Studio. In a state of anger and frustration, she ran into a group of members gathered outside of the Studio. They were all chatting and gossiping about what had happened in the Lounge. Some were starting to grow anxious and nervous about the state of the OtakuBoards. Some were so infuriated they were scheming how to strike back if another wave showed up. As Annie closed in, a timid and overly-worried member came rushing up to the crowd. His face looked as if someone announced the end of the world, and his voice squealed with excitement. [b]?The n00bs are spreading all over the ?Boards! They?re going to take over the OB! And I?m worried that there isn?t enough mods on staff!?[/b] he brought his hands to his face. [b]?Calm down, Sandy,?[/b] Stark placed her hand gently on his shoulder, [b]?I?m sure we?ll be just fine.? ?Yes, the n00bs are vicious this time around,?[/b] Annie began, [b]?Everyone go to your blogs or other forums and lock them up. If you wish to stay on the OB, you?re going to help me and the Bandits to push them out. Whoever?s interested, follow me.?[/b] Annie opened the Art Studio?s doors and followed the small number of members into the forum. She directed them to the designated sticky and shut the door tight behind her. Simplicity and Sakura were still missing. [b]?They?re on their way. They have Kitty with them, and wanted her to stay with us until we apprehended Stuart and whoever?s behind this,?[/b] Arcadia reported, [b]?She has a load of information that we need.? ?Right. Thank you, Badness,?[/b] Annie then proceeded to explain what had happened in the Lounge, and what was said right outside. The group was silent for a few minutes when a bang on the Studio?s doors snapped them out of silence. Syk3 slowly advanced on the doors, his mod rod ready. Opening the door slightly, he lowered his rod and allowed Sakura, Simplicity, and Kitty into the Studio. [b]?Glad to see you guys are okay,?[/b] Mimmi smiled, patching up a small wound on Ezekiel?s shoulder. [b]?What happened to you two??[/b] Kitty gasped. [b]?n00bs, and they?re making there way into other parts of the OB. Now, I don?t know who let them in, but I feel that this could be a distraction. Something to throw us off ?their? trail,?[/b] Ezekiel chimed. [b]?Exactly, which is why we need to keep our cool. We need back-up. Someone to take care of the n00bs while we put together information,?[/b] Annie tapped her nose, [b]?I?m going to make a quick phone call.? ?To who??[/b] Sakura tilted her head in curiosity. [b]?The cavalry, Commander Parabola,?[/b] Annie smirked and reached for her cell phone, [b]?He?s been itching to get into some n00b-slaying action.?[/b] Annie walked a little ways away from the group as she waited for her husband to pick up. [b]?Hey, we need your help,?[/b] Annie started, giving the group a reassuring glance, [b]?n00bs have surprised the OB and are taking control?.I?ve got a few members here who?ll help?I?m sure there will be more?.fine, yes, you can bring your team?I don?t know what we?re having for dinner tonight, that?s not why--okay, okay, we?ll have pasta?.how many times do we have to go through this, I don?t like chunky tomato sauce either?.I don?t know, around 7 pm?.just be home around 7.?.don?t you dare go out and think dinner will be warm by the time you get home late, I?m not going to wait for you??But Aaaannnniiiee? isn?t going to get you anywhere, hun?hehe, all right, see you in a bit. Later,?[/b] Annie closed the flap of her cell phone and faced the group. She flashed a smile and looked outside of the room to see if members had gathered again. [b]?Right, Parabola is on his way. He?s bringing a few of his men, combined with you all, we should be good,?[/b] Annie stretched, [b]?Kitty, I need you to tell me what you told Sakura and Simplicity.?[/b] Kitty quickly reviewed what information she had released to two bandits. Annie paced around the room. [b]?With that, and that strange PM to Arcadia, it sounds like he?s been abducted, kidnapped,?[/b] she stopped beside Kitty, who on the word ?kidnapped? started to sob. [b]?But who would want to kidnap my Stuie? And why??[/b] Kitty mewled, clinging to Annie?s leg. [b]?Now?s not the time to be leg humping, silly,?[/b] Annie blushed and Kitty let go, blushing as well, [b]?Think Kitty, was there anyone around the OB who may have had a grudge against your husband??[/b] Kitty wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked at her lap. Annie knelt in front of her. [b]?There is someone who really seemed to envy Stuart for getting a moderator position,?[/b] Kitty hesitated. [b]?You have to tell us who, da?ling. This might be the only way to save your husband,?[/b] Annie pleaded. [b]?We?ll protect you, if that?s what you?re worried about, Kit,?[/b] Simplicity placed a hand on Kitty?s back. The young girl looked around the crowd and hung her head, [b]?Retribution.?[/b] Sakura and Simplicity jumped back in surprise. The two looked at each other, then at Annie. [b]?We had him right under our noses. We had no idea, honest!?[/b] Sakura stuttered in shock. [b]?I wouldn?t expect you to know. I didn?t even think of him,?[/b] Annie rubbed her temples. Mimmi?s and Ezekiel?s faces twisted in confusion, [b]?We couldn?t make out who the figure was in the Lounge. We know it was a male figure, but as soon as things started to clear up, the n00bs filled in.?[/b] Nodding softly, Annie stood up and placed her hands on her hips. Retribution would be a tough game; his Photoshop skills were one of the best on the OB. Who?s to say that he?s just manipulating minions in the form of pictures to attack? The room shook a bit as the ?cavalry? arrived. The Studio?s doors flung open Parabola?s boot. Standing behind him were several ?underdog? members. All of them wearing gas masks with glowing eyes. Annie shuddered but walked up to her husband. [b]?We discovered who kidnapped Stuart, and who is unleashing the n00bs. Your primary target, Retribution. If you find him, I want him alive,?[/b] Annie wagged her index finger, indicating there?d be Hell to pay if Retribution was harmed, [b]?As for the n00bs, get whatever information you can out of them. Failure to comply, they render themselves useless and should be annihilated.?[/b] [b]?Roger that, ma?am,?[/b] Parabola saluted and turned to his group, [b]?You heard the lady. Let?s go kick some n00b ass. Oh yeah, don?t hurt Retribution.?[/b] Annie and the others waved them off. The Bikini Bandit leader turned to her team and thought of what to say. But she was interrupted with Parabola tapping her on the shoulder. [b]?You said ?7 pm?, right?? ?Yes, sometime around 7.? ?Okies. See you then, babe,?[/b] Parabola gave her a quick hug, accidentally hitting her in the head with the filter of his gas mask, and leaped out of the Studio. [b]?Now,?[/b] Annie rubbed her head; Syk3 pointed and laughed, [b]?We?re going to see if we can track down Stuart. Surely if we find him, Retribution won?t be too far behind. Saddle up, people.?[/b] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onix Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 [COLOR=SlateGray][SIZE=1]Hmmm...the plot thickens with a quick dash of cavalry, and a heaping helping of "didn't see THAT comin'". Tasty, indeed, Annie. I can't wait to see who these mysterious new n00b-hunters are, and if they are even mighty enough to bring down the hordes of Retribution. Also, Sandy's cameo? Genius.[/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revelation Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 [size=1][color=#B2566B]Delicious, absolutely delicious, sister dear. It's amazing how the plot thickens and suddenly there's a twist! I can't wait for the next chapter, oh how I want to know how the "cavalry" will suffice against the hordes of n00bs. The fight must go on!! ... Wait, is that even right?? o_O??[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikillion Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 [COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Decapitation..Impaliations...Oh.. My thoughs can only wonder what will happen to the n00bs in the next chapter. Espically with the thoughts of what can happen to that many n00bs in one place. This can be a prime example why I absolutly hate cliffhangers. Yet on a slightly different note... oh wait I have none. Well I will have to just wait on the next one ^_^[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 [SIZE=1]And so the mist parts, the enemy is finally revealed and war ignites on the horizon. I should wonder whether this foe may prove to great a challenge for even the Bikini Bandits and their fearless leader ? [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 [size=1]Awesome as always, my dear. There seem to be more details involved this time around, and slowly I think we're beginning to see more of each individual character. Like somebody said before this latest chapter, I think that's the part you should flesh out the most. It's already good, but once you get personality quirks going and everybody really gets to know everybody, this story will be incredibly deliciouso. Ha ha, numbers and letters. That was the best. But I will admit, it scares me to think about what Mims could do with all those extra letters in Literati. It... it just wouldn't be [i]right[/i]! Also, does this mean we get to start kicking butt? Can I use the surfboard? ¬.¬[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimmsicle Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 [quote name='Arcadia][size=1]Ha ha, numbers and letters. That was the best. But I will admit, it scares me to think about what Mims could do with all those extra letters in Literati. It... it just wouldn't be [i]right[/i']![/size][/quote][FONT=Tahoma]*purrrrrrrrrs* Wow, this latest chapter was an even greater joy to read than usual, which I think must be because of the more fleshed-out narrative. It makes an already great story shine a little bit brighter ^_^ And it was hilarious to see you use Sandy's concern about number of moderators! The way you wrote that lone sentence was both sweet and funny, lol. But Kitty humping your leg took the cake *laughs* Those sudden/unexpected humorous moments are perfectly fitted into the story, never breaking up the fluid pacing ^_^ *brings many chocolate-covered cherries to you*[/FONT] :naughty: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 [center][IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/anne-mae/bb5.jpg[/IMG] [size=3][b][u]Chapter 5- Don?t Shoot![/u][/size][/b] [/center] [size=1]Slow, heavy footsteps echoed in the seemingly abandoned Anime Archives. Years of inactivity made this forum feel more like a graveyard than an archive. And taking on the graveyard role, most members stayed away. But, in these times of n00b invasion, it was ordered that no part of the OB was left unexplored. Here, in the eerie and silent forum is where Parabola?s secondhand man carried out his search. Even though the mask covered most of his face, his identity was quickly recognized by the disobedient strands of silvery hair whisking gently as he moved. His hard and ever-skeptical eyes scanned the perimeter, looking for any signs of n00b activity. Unborn Lord Xion, pausing briefly, waved his right hand to motion his group to flank out. [b]?Debilitate anything that moves,?[/b] muzzled by the mask, his deep voice sounded rather nasally, [b]?But remember to keep them alive long enough to get information. Failure to comply, destroy them.?[/b] The two members behind him nodded in understanding and strayed forth. Now, most of everyone in the platoon used rifles of some sort, but ULX favored a sword. He believed it to be more of a personal abrasion by sword rather than a pistol. And he made it a point to prove that each time he unsheathed his blade from its scabbard. [b]?Sir! I think I?ve found something!?[/b] a member waved his rifle. [b]?What where you?re flailing that thing, Rifles,?[/b] ULX scorned, rushing to his side, [b]?This isn?t recess, you know.? ?Sorry, Sir. I get excited,?[/b] RiflesAtRecess squirmed, half-way pouting. [b]?Well, what have you found??[/b] ULX kept his left hand gripped around his sword?s scabbard, his right hand clutching the handle. RiflesAtRecess disarmed his weapon and pointed it at a trash receptacle. ULX, giving Rifles a look of slight irritation, but realized that Rifles wasn?t pulling a prank. His face turned, Rifles shook his head softly. [b]?What the fuck..??[/b] ULX stumbled back, looking at Rifles then to the trashcan again, [b]?Dump it, Sergeant.?[/b] [b]?Please don?t make me,?[/b] he pleaded, dropping the arm holding his weapon. [b]?That?s an order.?[/b] Sighing heavily, Rifles turned and kicked the trashcan. Several deleted posts and threads tumbled out; along with Stuart?s body. His face was discolored and there seemed to be several lacerations and lesions covering his body. ULX knelt down, fearing the young moderator was as dead as he looked. Rifles rubbed at his forehead and began to pace. If Stuart was dead, how were they going to tell Kitty? What would happen to the OB if an actual ?murder? had been committed? Would James shut the OB down until the investigation concluded? Biting down on his bottom lip, ULX removed the glove from his right hand and brought his index and middle finger to Stuart?s neck. There was no pulse. ULX froze as a brick of sickening emotion hit his stomach. He swallowed hard, trying not to let the others that had formed around him see his dread. [b]?Is he..?[/b] DDG pulled off her mask, revealing her worried face. [b]?He can?t be. This is just too heavy,?[/b] Rifles thrust his gun to the floor. The rifle, believed to be unarmed, fired a shot through Stuart?s foot. Rifles looked to DDG, DDG looked to ULX, and ULX was glaring flaming daggers at Rifles. [I]-Somewhere else on the OB[/I]- [b]?Any contact with ULX and his crew??[/b] Parabola turned to face his partner in crime, Mugen. [b]?No sir, no word from ULX. But we did receive a transmission from John just seconds ago,?[/b] Mugen pulled out a small notepad, [b]?He reports that he has a n00b in custody that may contain information as to where we might find Retribution. John, White, and KKC are holding the n00b captive in the Rules.? ?Good, good. Send Annie the info so she can take care of the interrogation, ?[/b] Parabola waved Mugen off, and motioned for the third party of his crew to follow, [b]?Nomad Tical and myself will be scouring the Anthology. We?ll meet you in the Square, copy?? ?Roger,?[/b] Mugen saluted and left to make contact with Annie. [b]?Let?s go, Tical,?[/b] Parabola armed his blaster, [b]?I?ll need your sharp attention to the threads in the Anthology to sniff out some n00bs.? ?Yes?sir!?[/b] Nomad Tical jumped and trotted behind Parabola?s long and swift stride. [I]-Back in the Anime Archives[/I]- [b]?YOU IDIOT!?[/b] ULX bellowed, throwing a punch into RaR?s leg. [b]?I didn?t mean to! I thought it was disarmed!?[/b] Rifles exclaimed. The two began to wrestle and plant blows at each other. ULX swung his sword, but Rifles back flipped and picked up his rifle. ULX drew his blade and shot Rifles a challenging smirk; Rifles smiled back, edging him on. The two lunged at each other; ULX?s blade glittered and clashed against the metal of RaR?s barrel. DDG dodged a few misaimed kicks and swings from ULX?s blade, tripping over Stuart?s body and falling to the floor right next to him. With a shriek, she scampered backwards, her eyes still fixated on Stuart. She looked over him then realized there was no blood. There was only a white hole where Rifles shotgun had gone off. Tilting her head curiously, she crawled back to him to examine his foot. ULX and Rifles had lost their weapons, and struggled to get out of each other?s constricting pins before realizing what DDG had discovered. [b]?Why isn?t there blood and bone??[/b] ULX dropped Rifles to the floor. [b]?Because,?[/b] DDG stood, holding Stuart?s alleged body up to her height, [b]?It?s not his real body. This is just a Photoshoped file.?[/b] As DDG dropped the look-a-like, it crumpled into a mass on the floor. [b]?We were dooped. That must?ve been who Mimmi and Ezekiel saw in the Lounge when the n00bs attacked. The two were pretty beat up by the n00bs; the frenzy was too much for the Photoshop Stuart to handle, and he got torn up,?[/b] she concluded. [b]?Damnit! I?m tired of games,?[/b] ULX growled, picking up and sheathing his sword. [b]?Well, I guess we should have expected something like this,?[/b] Rifles checked the chambers of his shotgun, [b]?We are dealing with a Photoshop pro.?[/b] ULX sighed and decided to make contact with Annie. He reached to his mask and switched on the communications link. [b]?Annie, ULX reporting,?[/b] he started. [I]-Back in The Prefecture[/I]- Annie, the Bandits, and a couple of OB members spread out over the forums. Her, Mimmi, and Arcadia braved the Lounge once more; Sakura, retired Bandit, Revelation, and Syk3 searched Music, Movies & TV; Simplicity and Ezekiel stayed put in the Art Studio along with Kitty. [b]?..Ul?.repor..ing,?[/b] the small radio on Annie?s hip fuzzed and crackled. Not expecting it, all three girls jumped and clinged to one another. [b]?Where did that come from??[/b] Mimmi whimpered softly, letting go and looking around the Lounge. [b]?Who dares?! Let me at ?im!?[/b] Arcadia climbed onto a thread. [b]? ?guys..there??[/b] the crackling sounded again. Annie spun around, throwing her hands up in some strange kung-fu-wannabe-stance. The radio dropped to the floor at her feet, causing her to leap back and making the most unnatural of noises and spinning her arms to defend herself. Then it dawned on her, and she hung her shoulders in shame. [b]?Don?t worry girls, it?s just the radio Parabola gave me to get in contact with us,?[/b] her face burning red, Annie picked it up and pressed the button, [b]?Hello, this is Annie.? ?It?s about damned time. DDG, RiflesAtRecess, and I stumbled upon what appears to be a Photoshop file modeled to look like Stuart. It?s all beat up and showed traces of n00b letters, so we assume it was what Mimmi and Ezekiel saw in the Lounge earlier during the attack,?[/b] ULX?s voice weighed with disappointment. [b]?I see. So, Stuart?s real body could be some place else. He may not even be on the OB,?[/b] Annie rubbed her face. [b]?Well, let?s not jump to that great of a conclusion. Did you check Who?s Online?? ?I haven?t, no,?[/b] Annie looked up to Arcadia. [b]?I?m on it like white on rice,?[/b] Arcadia jumped down and jogged for the side menu options. [b]?Arcadia?s checking it out right now. Have you heard anything from Parabola?? ?Negative.? ?Thanks, continue with your search. We?ll get back to you if we find anything,?[/b] Annie clicked off and looked around the Lounge. It was still a mess. Mimmi and Annie began to clean up when Panda and Raiyuu arrived. The two wore looks of distraught but started to sift and sort through the threads. [b]?Mugen calling Annie and the Bandits,?[/b] the radio sounded again. [b]?Go ahead, Mugen,?[/b] Annie spoke into the small device. [b]?Yeah, hi, Parabola wishes to inform you that John is holding a n00b in custody in the Rules page. He gave word that the n00b might have information on Retribution?s whereabouts.? ?Good job. Thanks Mugen, as you were,?[/b] Annie threw the radio in the air and caught it, giving Mimmi a smile, [b]?We?ll wait for Arcadia, then head over to meet up with John.? ?Right-o!?[/b] Mimmi saluted. Annie chuckled and helped Panda move dozens of old threads. Raiyuu kept going on and on about ?damned heathens? and how much he?d like to ?fry some n00b toosh? with his mod rod. Each random outburst came with his hand in the air, shaking it towards the Heavens. Panda went on to shush him by tossing a single-lined post at him. [b]?Annie!?[/b] Arcadia burst through the doors, her face flushed and her chest heaving for breath. [b]?What?! Are you okay?!?[/b] Annie and Mimmi rushed up to their comrade. [b]?Oh, nothing. Just wanted to scare you two,?[/b] she laughed, clutching her stomach. [b]Mimmi and Annie:[/b] -______-?? <-- smoking mad face [b]?You should?ve seen your faces,?[/b] Arcadia whistled, spinning her silver bracelet around her wrist, [b]?No one but us, a few new members, and the n00b Assassination Battalion is online.?[/b] [b]?Anyhow, ULX contacted us just a bit ago. They found what appeared to be Stuart, but looks like it was just a Photoshop file made to look like him. It was the Stuart Mimmi and Ezekiel had spotted in the Lounge at the time of the n00b attack. And Mugen reports that John is holding a n00b in the Rules page,?[/b] Annie explained, leading the girls out of the Lounge and towards the side menu. [b]?I hope we aren?t going to be talking to a brick wall,?[/b] Mimmi groaned. [b]?Me either,?[/b] Arcadia sneered. The girls turned the corner to the Rules page to face a brick wall. Both Annie and Arcadia glanced at Mimmi. She fidgeted a bit, taking many perspectives of the wall; tilting her head this way and that. [b]?Irony is a bitch??[/b] she scratched her head, trying to chuckle. [b]?Uuuugh! How are we supposed to get in??[/b] Annie growled, clenching her fists at her side. [b]?Use your head??[/b] Arcadia quipped. [b]?No, that only works in Toy Story 2,?[/b] Mimmi pouted, kicking the wall. Without much force, Mimmi?s foot sailed right through the wall. It was made out of paper. Having no expected anchor, Mimmi fell right to the floor. She pulled her foot from the paper wall and peered inside. There was a small group standing in a circle. In the middle was a tiny, innocent-looking creature. Its body was extremely plump and white with floppy ears. Sort of bunny-like. [b]?Aww! It?s so squishy!?[/b] Mimmi squealed, letting Annie and Arcadia look. [b]?Hey, that?s John, White, and KKC!?[/b] Annie ripped at the wall. John spun around and pointed his rifle at the hole. The three bikini-wearing bandits jumped back in defense. He smiled and walked up to the girls. The wall slide to the side. [b]?Thanks for putting a hole in the firewall.? ?That is your firewall? That couldn?t hold back a gust of wind, much less a fire,?[/b] Arcadia pointed at the paper as it wobbled from being moved. [b]?Y-Yes it could! It?s heat resistant!?[/b] John protested, sliding it shut. [b]?Whatever! It?s made of paper!? ?Sssssh!!?[/b] John clamped his hand over Arcadia?s mouth. He looked over his shoulder and whispered, [b]?The n00bs don?t know that. They see the brick wall, and get gypped.?[/b] Arcadia, Mimmi, and Annie stared blankly at John. He released Arcadia and walked back towards the group. [b]?White stumbled across this blob,?[/b] John was cut off as Mimmi squealed again, [b]?and it promised to talk as long as we let it live.? ?I?ve no objections!?[/b] Mimmi danced, then crouched before the n00b, [b]?What is it you have to tell us? If you live, I?ll take care of you.?[/b] The frightened n00b looked up to Mimmi with watery and pleading eyes. It glanced at Arcadia and Annie, then back at Mimmi. [b]?..I no w3r3 m0dd iz..?[/b][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revelation Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 [size=1][color=#B2566B]W00T W00t! I get a cameo in this chapter! I don't see any mistakes, unless I overlooked them, which I probably have. But the comical part that made me giggle was: [QUOTE=Athena] [b]?What where you?re flailing that thing, Rifles,?[/b] ULX scorned, rushing to his side, [b]?This isn?t recess, you know.?[/QUOTE] Sorry, it must be the large amount of sugar I had tonight that makes me so... strange. But still, RiflesAtRecess, Rifles, this isn't recess? HAHAH! Cracks me up. But I can't wait for my next appearance, I mean the next chapter XP.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakura Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 [COLOR=Navy]Yay! I'm finally posting a comment in this thread, be happy ^__^ I've been keeping up to date with each Chapter and I love this one, I really liked the humour expressed, the whole thing with RiflesAtRecess and ULX, Arcadia trying to scare Annie and Mimmi, and the thing about the paper Firewall was great! Aww, and I loved the widdle bunny lookin' n00b, it sounds so cute. And yay! I get to work with Revelation! But yeah, it's going great so far, I can't wait for more.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimmsicle Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 [FONT=Tahoma]I think I just died and then wet my paints, laughing! Superbly subtle, yet boombastic, humor in this chapter ^___^ It's been said a million times before, but you're really coming into your own with this story, Annie. Being part of this epic tale of grandness is a true honor *salutes*[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezekiel Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 [SIZE=1]ULX, my love~! The image of my darling waving a sword at people in that angry manner of his makes me giggle with delight. *fans self* But moving on >> I really, really enjoyed this chapter, especially,as Revelation pointed out, the scene with RaR and Trevor. That joke was classy, Annie, really classy. Can't wait for more.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellerby Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 [color=#333333]Oh my gosh, he no's w3r3 m0dd iz! Way to end in a cliffhanger again. ; ; Haha, I had to print this off and read it before going to bed once more. It was so good that I had to read a different book to get my mind off of the cliffhanger ending. The humour in this chapter was top-notch aswell, Annie. And... [b]I made an appearance![/b] Can't wait to read the next chapter.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 First things first: ^________________^ Anyway, this chapter was fantastic, especially since you seem to have taken some of the advice about added description and really used it well. I had said before that I saw a lot of grays and indescript shapes when reading previous chapters, but that's not a feeling I got anywhere this chapter; it was all described excellently. The jokes, of course, were also hilarious. I'm a sucker for puns. XP And I'm liking the approach you're taking with Retribution. Reminds me of a comic book villain, using Photoshop illusions as his "trademark" of sorts, heh. Other than a few jumbled sentences that threw me off, I don't think I saw anything I didn't like. Wonderful story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onix Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 [COLOR=SlateGray][SIZE=1]You have made me such a badass and for that, you recieve big props, G. Gotta love the fight with Rifles, and the firewall joke, too. In fact, this entire chapter was just plain awesome. Except for the - argh - cliffhanger. 'Course, I suppose I'm somewhat guilty of those, too, so I won't complain too loudly. I can't wait to see what crazy shizz you pull out next, Annie, so bring out the next chapter soon~ please. Pretty please? *flutters lashes*[/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 [size=1]Sorry to burst your bubbles people, but obviously after two months, I'm not continuing. My reasons are my own, and I'm not compelled to write anymore.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now