Manga My first manga idea

[mystic-chick]

This proberly sounds like another anime or manga but I enjoyed working on it so here goes nothing!

`Demonic Struggle`
It opens with a girl Anita (or if can think of a better name tell me) being stalked by a demon ( big surprise ). The demon thinks he`s hunting her but of course it`s the other way around. Little does the demon know but this is the girl he has heard whispers about, she`s the boogieman(or woman) of demons- a human with demonic powers. Anita lost her hand and her family to an upper level demon- the prince of demons to be exact and when the prince took her hand he left behind some of his abilities. She is rescued by an organisation which protects humans from demons and they give her a iron hand. This is the sign the sign of who she is. After years at the headquarters (need name for organisation) she leaves as she thinks they`re too slow to kill all the demons that plague the world. So she travels on her own to kill demons and to find her parents` muderer.

This manga mainly follows Anita but it sometimes looks at it from the demons`point of view and also the other main character-Sign. the reformed demon who saved Anita`s life and who follows her in the shadows to make sure she is safe. The thing that Anita doesn`t know about Sigh is that he is the older brother of the demon that killed her family.

A line from the manga
`I wear red to symbolise the blood that has been spilled, is being spillrd and will always be spilled. I also wear red as it means to be captured and that is what I am- captured by a destiny I didn`t choose`

Her symbol is a white lily- the flower and colour of death.

Any opinions on it would be gratefully appreciated.
[COLOR=RoyalBlue]Hope to here from you![/COLOR] :p

[GUNmanZERO7]

Tell more!!! Its a good story. name the organazation H.PA.D (hipad) (He-ped)

[mystic-chick]

Oops! :animeblus

Forgot to tell more about the actually demons. They like in so many other stories feed off human flesh but the way they come into this world is kind of different.

When someone is hinding something- true feelings, doubt, guilt, etc- it gives the demons an oppurtunity to enter their minds. The demon demon plagues their mind till they succumb to them and the demons take over. So the demons can walk unknown amongst humans, of course once they take over they stop ageing. When a person suffers from multipal personality it means more then one demon has taken over and are battling eachother and the human`s mind all at once.

[COLOR=Navy][SIZE=2]That`s all for now.[/SIZE] [/COLOR]
[COLOR=Blue][SIZE=2]Thanks for your feedback on my story.[/SIZE] [/COLOR]
[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=2]Bye[/SIZE] [/COLOR] :wave:

[Chikara Kokoro]

I have to hand it to you, this story is pretty creative. With a little bit of tweaking it could be absolutely breath taking. It does have similar qualities with other manga, but I think what you're doing with the mythology of demons is interesting enough to forgive that.

The name Anita is fantastic because it isn't Japanese, and that's very refreshing to me.

One criticism I have to give is over what little dialogue, or what I'm assuming is dialogue, you have given.
[QUOTE=mystic-chick]
A line from the manga
`I wear red to symbolise the blood that has been spilled, is being spillrd and will always be spilled. I also wear red as it means to be captured and that is what I am- captured by a destiny I didn`t choose`
[/QUOTE]
This is great symbolism, and I can tell you thought about it, but there's a little something called "show not tell" that I think you should be made aware of. Instead of having the characters explain everything that's going on, including their reasons for wearing certain things, just show it through their actions. It's okay to have a little bit of symbolism in there. That way, if somebody asked you "why does so and so always wear red?" you can have a really good answer to give to them. Some things are better left open to the mind of the reader.

Also, the only way a person- remember that even if these characters aren't real people, you want them to feel that way to any readers you might have- would go into explaining why they always wear red is if somebody was bugging them about it I think (i.e. "Why do you wear red all the time, huh? That's kind of silly, you'd look really good in blue..." etc.). Even then, I think they'd be yelling. Although, I guess that ultimately depends on the personality of the character.

One final thing, run spell check on your dialogue. It may seem silly, but I have a feeling that very few people would be willing to read a manga that had spelling mistakes all over the place.

[mystic-chick]

Wow it`s been a while since I`ve been on here!! :animeblus

I`ve been doing character drawing(or at least trying). I`m still trying to get my on stlye now I`m just taking different aspects from different artists. I`ve been thinking do the organasation need uniforms or not? Would that be to military or too much like hellsing?

[COLOR=Magenta]Hope to hear from you!! [/COLOR] :catgirl:

[Chikara Kokoro]

A good uniform would be a good visual symbol, but you have to design a unique one. Uniforms, especially for the antagonists, can be used to provide an instant rush of fear when the reader sees them. Look online for different kinds of uniforms and make sure that you're both sticking to tradition and using something different from what people usually see.