Parents ruining my relationship

[tsukineko]

Hello. I have a little problem I am hoping someone can help me. I have a boyfriend named Jacob. We have been going out for a very long time and before that were best friends for a while. He really is the best thing that is happened to me. A few months ago I had to move though. I am in Conntcticut and he is in Georgia. I know most people say the long distance thing won't work, but we are very attatched. He's not all about the physical relationship. He makes sure we know what's going on with eachother and even get into mature conversations about the world nowadays like an old married couple. We have promised to stay together and after we finish college and are financially stable, get married.I know this sounds very odd especially for my age but we behave very maturely. It is a little hard to explain. Anyway, my parents REALLY don't like him(just because they found out we made out once, and no it was not sex. Don't really want to tell details though.) Also don't like him cuz he dresses a bit like a goth and acts like one. My parents judge the people I hang around with by how they look. Especially my mom.They are trying to get us to split up pretty much. They try to cut down my e mails and my phone time with him. They also tell me we are not a couple and are never going to stay together. They haev absolutley no faith in my desicions whatsoever. Constant lectures that it won't last. My mom badmouths him all the time and just never has anything nice to say about him. Jacob says hello to them when we are on the phone and tries to be nice. Sigh. It is so aggravating. My parents are trying to ruin our relationship. What do I do?

[Starwind]

Personally, I do what I can to keep my parents as far out of my love life as possible. Now, if this a long distance thing, then this is going to be a little tricky for you, but if you think your up to it, then I wish the best for you. The best advice I can give you is to keep in contact and keep faith in each other and remain faithful to each other. One of the problems with long distance relationships is that it's easy to stray or become uncertain. All you can do is trust one another and wait for the time to come when you'll be together again.

I don't know how old the two of you are so I have no idea how long a wait that might be, but if you really love him, then I say stay the course and always keep in touch. If you want it to work then you can make it work with enough effort for it. Don't let your parents tell you how to live your life. Just do what I do when there trying to tell me that I'm ruining my life. Ignore them!

In my life I know I"m going to make mistakes, but you know what? I'd rather make those mistakes, then have my parents hold my hand all the way through life. You should do the same. Do what you heart is telling is right and don't even give another thought to what your parents think.

[Sayuri-sama]

well actually even though you are having to deal with all that trash talk i think you should stay strong and never stop believing!(sorry if i spelled it wrong). i honestly cant stand t when other people try to bud in and try to ruin you relationship:animeangr

[font=Verdana][size=1]i wish you the best of luck. may fortune always smile upon you.:catgirl: [/size][/font]

[Guest heley]

[quote name='tsukineko']Hello. I have a little problem I am hoping someone can help me. I have a boyfriend named Jacob. We have been going out for a very long time and before that were best friends for a while. He really is the best thing that is happened to me. A few months ago I had to move though. I am in Conntcticut and he is in Georgia. I know most people say the long distance thing won't work, but we are very attatched. He's not all about the physical relationship. He makes sure we know what's going on with eachother and even get into mature conversations about the world nowadays like an old married couple. We have promised to stay together and after we finish college and are financially stable, get married. Anyway, my parents REALLY don't like him(just because they found out we made out once). They are trying to get us to split up pretty much. My mom badmouths him all the time and just never has anything nice to say about him. Jacob says hello to them when we are on the phone and tries to be nice. Sigh. It is so aggravating. My parents are trying to ruin our relationship. What do I do?[/quote]

It can be very hard, but the best thing to do is to always be true to each other and keep up with what you're doing. Your relationship can last a long while like that.
One thing you could do is if you have christian parents, ask them this:

What did Jesus say on the cross?

It could work. Just make sure that you show your boyfriend that you're always giving him attention and you still care about him.

There can be one big problem too: sexual tention. Do NOT let it get to you. You could feel attractive towards another, and you can lose interest in your guy. It's never really worth it. I insist that if you can email me, please can because I will be glad to help you out. :animesmil

[Box Hoy]

Ah, this seems to be problem with others too eh. Yeah, my mum is like killing me. I can't get out of the house ever to see my girlfriend and it's killing me because she'll find the smallest things out of line and use them as excuses to tie me to the house.

Anyhow, like Sayuri Sama said, just stay strong. Making it through this sorts of obstacles are what build relationships and make them stronger because you grow together emotionally.

[John]

First of all, I don't think I see how your parents are ruining the relationship between you and your boyfriend. They may hate him, yeah, but they can't exactly make you two break up. If anything, it seems like it's making your relationship stronger through the adversity.

I do see what you're saying, though, about it being that much harder. I'll tell you right now that your parents aren't going to do much changing, so you'll have to simply endure if you want to make this work.

However, you're fifteen right now. You're not exactly in a position to be making a promise to marry someone six years down the road, lol. I'm not saying you're not going to, but see what happens to your relationship in that over half of a decade. You'd be surprised how events may play out.

[Sara]

[color=33333][font=trebuchet ms]What John said.

And are you sure that's what's bothering your parents? You're dating this guy, and they're upset that you've kissed? I think you should talk to them and find out what they dislike about him. Maybe his mom dumped your dad in high school or something. :p

But seriously, everything would be much smoother with your parents' approval, so I'd recommend approaching them and having a civil, mature, calm conversation about your boyfriend. (And, er... don't mention marriage.)[/font][/color]

[Sayuri-sama]

you know also if you think about it they may not really even hate him. they may just feel that by dating this dude they are losing their baby-girl. i know the same issue with a guy friend of mine that his mother is WAY too attached to both her sons and hates his girlfriend because of that. just keep thinking " i know i'll be alright" im im sure things will turn out okay!:p

[Al-araaf]

Ignore your parents. I have a slightly similur relationship going on. My gf's parents are WAY over protective of her, they have no idea that we've been dating for almost a year now. They don't like that i'm a creepy goth, and her dad doesnt like guys around her. Just keep in touch and continuse doing what your doing.

[ForgottenRaider]

By [i]made out[/i] do you really mean [i]had sex with[/i]?

If you did then that is normal. Parents [b]hate[/b] that.

If not and you really mean they got up you for a good old kissing session then you are lying to yourself. Your parents would have far better reasoning than that and really you need to sit down with them and find out those reasons, then come to a compromise or solution.

Always try to look at locked situations like this from the other parties perspective.

[tsukineko]

Just fixed up my post a little bit. Hopefully the better details will help

[anendtomystory]

[CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=2]Well, first of all, you should tell your parents that they need to trust you :animeangr . If not on something as important as virginity then what the hell are they supposed to trust you on? Don't let the whole long distant thing get to you. You can get through and your boyfriend can too. And if it doesnt last event though you have done everything you can then it WASN"T meant to last. But don't feel down about that. You might find someone better. :rolleyes: Though I really shouldn't say that should I? I sould just give you my regards and then go on my way. But oh well, that is my advice. And who the frick cares that he dresses goth. At least he is not Emo. By the way goth guys are HOT. :animeblus

See ya around tsukineko

~JD~ :catgirl: [/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]