Perceptions of Self vs Social Perception

[elfpirate]

[font=Comic Sans MS]I have had an interesting year thus far in the areas of sociology and psychology, and things I have taken for granted as "truths" have been called into question...mainly concerning myself and how others around me react to me and how they see me as a person.

Because of this, I have begun to question a lot of my own perspectives in other areas, and it has been a fascinating journey, even if it hasn't always been a pleasant one.

My questions for you are these: How do you think that others (strangers or acquaintances that do not know you well) perceive you and how does it differ from the way that you see yourself or the way in which people who know you well perceive you?
If there is a difference in perceptions about you, why do you think that is?

I wrote an entire essay to myself on the subject recently, forcing me to really evaluate the sort of heuristics and stereotypes that I give off without being consciously aware of it, and I ended up seeing myself in a different light for the first time in a long time.

Enjoy the moment of introspection. ^_^
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[Retribution]

[size=1]I think there's always going to be a huge difference between what you yourself see yourself as in comparison to others, even your closest family and friends. Who knows yourself better than you?

I think that people dismiss me as the short, slightly annoying, too-smart-for-his-own-good, didn't-he-skip-a-grade? type. I'm compared to "my little nephew!" a whole lot, so I'm aware that I look [painfully] young. In contrast, I see myself as only slightly short, and people are just really skewing things out of proportion because of my boyish face. I also see myself as pretty smart, but I do other things aside from school like any other human. I see myself as a pragmatic cynic with a humanitarian soft-side. And that part is never lost on my aquaintances.

I'm pretty sure the only stereotypes people file me as are 1) 'genius' little boy 2) immature child or 3) annoying little boy. There's really nothing I can do as far as the little-boy stereotype is concerned except for keep living life so that my face looks a tad bit older, but it bothers me alot sometimes.

And I'm taking AP Psychology next year... I've already been doing alot of reading on it -- Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud primarily, but I've also been picking up little pieces of information on human behavior from Wikipedia. I'm also been conducting my own mini-experiments on people -- Gauging reactions and how emotions change -- that sort of thing. So far people have gotten a bit frustrated with them... I'll give you an example.

I was testing to see which friends of mine were good at planning ahead, weighing benefits, and delaying gratification for a higher payoff layer. I told everyone in (what looked to be) complete seriousness "Alright, I owe you some money from a while back -- would you like a dollar today or two dollars next week?" Most everyone asked for the two bucks next week, save for one who just wanted the dollar that day. When I told them it was just a test, the reactions ranged from "Oh, f$ck you Alex," to "Ohhh... you're evil (fake smile)."[/size]

[Kanariya]

[size=1][font=georgia]No doubt, agreeing with Retribution, who knows you better then yourself. Other people can help you learn to know yourself better, but in the end you're the only one who really can know yourself better then anyone else.

As for strangers perception of me, it differs from people I know well. If someone were to see me, I think they would just dismiss me as just another person, until they would hear me speak. Usually, I play dumb in front of people, giving them the idea I really am as stupid, but some people have noticed through and know me better. Then, these strangers can lead to becoming acquaintances. As for people who still know me to be very 'stupid', they may just talk to me and become aquaintances, or completely ignore me. By image, I would think people I do not know well, dismiss me as another person, nothing too special, but probably a nice person to chat with. But I don't know their thoughts, so I cannot say for sure.

I see myself as, another person on the planet, unique in own ways, as everyone else is. People who know me better and have more 'deep' conversations with me usually have a basic idea of me, rather then the 'dumb' image I give off of. Even people close to me don't realize who I really am, except my father at times, and I doubt others are that observant. Again, I can't say for sure. I look into mental actions impacting physical/verbal actions quite a lot, but my thoughts just list off to possibilites. I haven't looked psychology or anything, so I don't know too much about the subject.[/size][/font]

[eleanor]

[color=darkslateblue] I'm actually a believer that sometimes strangers' perceptions of you are the most accurate. I'm fully aware that in some cases, this is complete BS, but at times it's just very true. I don't know if it's been said by some famous person before, but I believe that people who are inclined in judging others and are often correct in their predictions have the hardest time knowing themselves. At times, anyway. I can't stress that enough.

I like to think that most everyone doesn't know the whole part of me, and for each person, I'm sure that there is a side to them that a lot of their companions have no clue about. But it's also ridiculous to reject anything people say about you using a flimsy "they don't know the real me" attitude. In reality, there is probably at least a kernel of truth in what they say.

As for me, I dunno. Sometimes people see me wearing my Duke hoodie and being quiet and they think I'm some genius-nerd. Sometimes people see me wearing Abercrombie & Fitch and being social with my friends and they think I'm flunking most of my classes. I like to describe myself as a social dork. *shrug* A preppy nerd. Whatever.

As for my friends... we don't exactly sit in a circle every weekend and share our personal thoughts about each other, lol. I do know that I have one friend I get into argument with a lot, and we clash a lot, and she thinks I'm narrow-minded and insensitive. On this particular judgement, I would have to say she's made this judgement because when I argue with her, I'm not careful about what I say. I say about 59206830 racial jokes a day, and I tend to be very blunt with my opinions.

On the other hand, when I go to the summer studies camp I go to at Duke every summer (like a nerd camp for high schoolers), people see me differently. My last two professors have labeled me as a mature thinker and more open-minded than others. The factors I bring into this is that the atmosphere at the camp is completely different from the world at high school. Everyone there is intelluctual and ambitious, and you just subconsciously act differently. I also have a passion for literature, and do very careful thinking when I'm attending the lit classes I have signed up for.

Although this post may seem poorly argued, I think the answer to the main question is rather simple. Perceptions are based on the perceptor's mind and how the perceptee is at that moment acting (I don't even know if perceptor and perceptee are [i]words[/i]). Perceptions can vary, they can be consistent, and sometimes perceptions are not even made because the person being judged hides aspects of their life from everyone.[/color]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[I]The ocean floor is hidden from your viewing lens
A depth perception languished in the night
All of my life I've been sewing these wounds
But the seems sprout a lachrymal cloud

- Sarcofagi - The Mars Volta[/I]

I am constantly wondering what others must think of me when they see me. Medium height, long hair, kinda pimply, always wears sweatpants, same jacket every day. I wonder if I just come off as unkempt or uncaring about my looks. But then again no matter how much I torture myself to find the answers, generally I think people just don't notice.

The only thing I hate more is what I think my friends think of me. Every house I live in comes with a different group of friends and I get to know them all in different ways.

A little under 2 years ago, I had lived in a house for about 2 years and the closer friends I had knew me really well, and I'd say they had the same perception of me as I did of myself. One could say I was what they made me. Then, before this past September I had lived in a house for a year. I only had 2 friends who knew me well, and the others just saw a sort of show I put on. See, at home, I was a smart guy who wrote stories and thought deeply, but at school, I was a crazy ball of slipstick insanity that no one could take seriously, which ended up sucking.

When I moved here, there was a change. (I could get into it, but it's a loooooong story) and I decided to try and let friends know who I really was. But for some reason, whenever I get around other people I can't talk to them until I get to know them a little, then I can't help myself but make myself into a slapstick maniac. After a while, I tryed to sort of convince my friends (who I only talke to in the limited spare time in school) that I was intelligent, but no matter what I said, it came across as a joke, just like before.

I'm moving in a week, and hopefully I can try and make new friends that see myself through my perception...

Except not even I have a clear view of who I really am. I usually have a different attitude about myself every few days and it changes my entire outlook and mood. At that rate, I could be like a different person in days. It seems like the only personality that keeps constant is the stupid funny guy.

I HATE the stupid funny guy.

[KatanaViolet]

[QUOTE=elfpirate][font=Comic Sans MS]

My questions for you are these: How do you think that others (strangers or acquaintances that do not know you well) perceive you and how does it differ from the way that you see yourself or the way in which people who know you well perceive you?
If there is a difference in perceptions about you, why do you think that is?


[/font][/QUOTE]

I don't really know....
Some people perceive me as a really awesome person, funny, talkative, witty, friendly, generally openminded, and an overall good person with a good heart... although few of these people really know me, and I'm sure that they give me too much credit.
But at the same time I know that I can probably appear as naive, a *****, stupid, ignorant, stubborn, and selfish, and I've found that my friendliness can give the wrong message to guys and put me in uncomfortable situations that I never intended.
Some people love me, some people hate me. And this love-hate relationship even exists in my own mind. I've had acceptance, I've had rejection, although I find that the latter seems to be more prominant, allthough I don't know why. Maybe I really am naive, but I don't know why.
I know my heart is in the right place, but sometimes I just feel like I'm lost, that life is going by and I can't seem to keep up. I would always tell myself just be me, and then I start to wonder who me really is. I like to be nice to people, but how can I be nice but also not let myself be taking advantage of? I'm quite unsure of myself, although I always give the air that I got my stuff together, usually appearing happy even when I'm screaming inside.
I'm not beautiful, but I'm not unattractive... I'm short, I look much younger than I actually am, I'm petite... I dunno haha.

You tell me!!!
I can't really elaborate... :animestun

[IceRose]

Well is easy for me to see the perception people have of me since I ask people what they see me as, these are the normal responses I get: quiet, sad, teacher's pet(one year), smart. That is from people that do not know me, once I open up and I actually have people to talk to this is what I seem: overly hyper, childish, kind, caring, giving; this is because once I make a lot of friends I'm the one who gathers them, hugs them, glomps them, annoys them. My perception of myself is that I care too much about people and I should care more about me, I get attached to my friends easily and help them in every problem they might encounter. Even though I at times seem pessimistic I'm very optimistic when it comes to people. :catgirl:

[KatanaViolet]

[QUOTE=Retribution][size=1]I think there's always going to be a huge difference between what you yourself see yourself as in comparison to others, even your closest family and friends. Who knows yourself better than you?

I think that people dismiss me as the short, slightly annoying, too-smart-for-his-own-good, didn't-he-skip-a-grade? type. I'm compared to "my little nephew!" a whole lot, so I'm aware that I look [painfully] young. In contrast, I see myself as only slightly short, and people are just really skewing things out of proportion because of my boyish face. I also see myself as pretty smart, but I do other things aside from school like any other human. I see myself as a pragmatic cynic with a humanitarian soft-side. And that part is never lost on my aquaintances.

I'm pretty sure the only stereotypes people file me as are 1) 'genius' little boy 2) immature child or 3) annoying little boy. There's really nothing I can do as far as the little-boy stereotype is concerned except for keep living life so that my face looks a tad bit older, but it bothers me alot sometimes.

And I'm taking AP Psychology next year... I've already been doing alot of reading on it -- Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud primarily, but I've also been picking up little pieces of information on human behavior from Wikipedia. I'm also been conducting my own mini-experiments on people -- Gauging reactions and how emotions change -- that sort of thing. So far people have gotten a bit frustrated with them... I'll give you an example.

I was testing to see which friends of mine were good at planning ahead, weighing benefits, and delaying gratification for a higher payoff layer. I told everyone in (what looked to be) complete seriousness "Alright, I owe you some money from a while back -- would you like a dollar today or two dollars next week?" Most everyone asked for the two bucks next week, save for one who just wanted the dollar that day. When I told them it was just a test, the reactions ranged from "Oh, f$ck you Alex," to "Ohhh... you're evil (fake smile)."[/size][/QUOTE]

I see you as a very intelligent individual, although I don't really know you that much, that's just what I get from your presence on the board.

[Retribution]

[quote name='KatanaViolet']I see you as a very intelligent individual, although I don't really know you that much, that's just what I get from your presence on the board.[/quote]
[size=1]Thanks for the compliment and the reinforcement of my point.

I don't think it's a problem if people see me as intelligent -- it's a problem when they dismiss me as some intelligent kid who spends all his life on schoolwork. That's the part that really bugs me.[/size]

[KatanaViolet]

Your very welcome.
I don't think people who are intelligent should be dismissed just because they are smart. Don't listen to what those people say. When your making good money after getting a good education, it won't matter what they think, and you never know, they might be serving you a Big Mac one day.

But anyways... some ranting on the topic of perceptions from others.

I don't like how guys automatically seem to get the impression that I'm easy. I'm friendly, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with you. And I have a boyfriend. I like to talk to people and I hate when I actually have to be mean and tell the guy to eff off. And also all the crappy people I've met who turned out to be jerks...Maybe I really am naive, and don't realize that people aren't very nice, and that I've got to stop expecting that just because I'm kind, that I'll get that kindness back.
Grr. People suck.

[Lv.12Wizard]

I don't really know what people think of me that much, except for that most of my friends, upon meeting me, actually thought to themselves "This guy's weird"("In a good way, though."). That and most people that don't like me just think of me as a nerd. I'm probably way too introvert for my own good; I don't really talk all that much, and I don't have a very good self image. I guess I would describe myself as an aloof, hopeless romantic who probably needs a hobby. :animesmil