Manga Shinen Iie

[Reikimaru]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkRed]For the past two years, I've been developing characters and ideas into my dream. For the fourth time I've attempted to start my manga, Shinen Iie (No Thought). This is only the first page and I'm looking to know if I should continue on or give up. I also want to know what I should do to improve on my art should I continue. Please don't be blunt.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[URL=http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a328/Reikimaru/Odori%20Sama/chapter1.jpg][IMG]http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a328/Reikimaru/Odori%20Sama/thchapter1.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Reads Right To Left<<<<

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkRed][B][U]Current Backstory[/U][/B]: Reikimaru is currently dreaming of his past and the cursed deal he made with Shikyo (Death). In this scene, it shows Reikimaru's past form before he became what he is now, a servant of Shikyo. The deal Shikyo speaks of in the last panel is one that would give Reikimaru his life back with the cost of losing his wings and his name's true meaning. Reikimaru agreed seeing no other way. The blood on his wings is from Shikyo forcfuly pulling them out of his body to remove them. What Reikimaru means by that's not what they agreed on is that his wings were to be removed without pain, but this was never stated in the agreement so Shikyo did as he wished. Another setback for Reikimaru is that he will end up keeping his vampirism and the disease that killed him for eterniy.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Kei]

[color=darkblue][size=1]Hm. From what I can see, this is actually pretty good. One thing that I would suggest is that it might give the reader a better feel of what Reikimaru is going through if you actually showed the look on his face as he's having his wings torn out. Facial expressions and the ilk add a lot of...believibility, for lack of better term, to a manga. It would also look better after proper inking, methinks (but it is very good artwork). Just a thought.

That aside, looks spot on and rather interesting to me.[/color][/size]

[Chikara Kokoro]

Ooh... very intriguing. Please continue, I want to know what happens ^^

I also have to say that I'm not a huge fan of penciled comics. Your art is amazing and it would be a shame to lose readership for a silly thing like that. As much as I hate to admit it, many people will only read a comic if they like the art in the first place. Some people's prejudice of pencil lines will not be able to overcome that and enjoy your story what it potentially is.

One cheap alternative to going out and buying inking pens is to just download a free image editing program like the GIMP (what I use). That is, unless you added the script in a program like Photoshop or GIMP already in which case you're set to do digital inking anyways. You can use a program like that to make clean lines that you can then fill with a grey color or a computer tone mimicking pattern. Contrary to popular excuses, you do not need to have a tablet to create good line art with varying thicknesses on the computer. If you'd like links to any tutorials on that let me know.

I myself am not a fan of comic sans, but that's your choice as a creator. But if you have good handwriting and you plan on continuing doing this in pencil, you might want to consider adding the text by hand. It can add a personality to the comic that can be lost by using an impersonal font. The "KLAT" in the first panel, while a very strange sound effect I've never heard of before, is well written.

Shikyo is deliciously creepy, especially with the eyes. I adore the lack of emotion in them.

Best of luck! I can't wait to see more!

[Reikimaru]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkRed]Thanks for the advise, both of you. Unfortunetly, Chikara, my handwriting is worse that a grade-schooler's otherwise I might have writen everything by hand. It would be nice of you if you could give me a few links on tutorials, though. I don't really have the money right now to bye new pens or waste the few I have that still work, not till I get paid next month anyway.

As for continuing, I'll try to finish page two for you soon.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Nomura]

[QUOTE=Reikimaru][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkRed]

As for continuing, I'll try to finish page two for you soon.[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]
Does it take that long? Of course...I've been doing a manga...I'm currently on page 9..It's taken about 3 months...

[Chikara Kokoro]

More than happy to help! I'm pretty sure I have tutorials bookmarked on just about any art related topic, so if you need help let me know.

[url]http://www.fireyskye.net/prismatic/enlighten/paths/index.php[/url]
I suggest reading this one first because it best shows the basics on how to use the pen tool that's used to digitally ink a sketch.

[url]http://www.deviantart.com/view/20111334/[/url]
This was made for inking in the traditional style (ie using pens), but I think it does the best job of showing where it's good to vary the thickness of a line in order to create interesting line art.

[url]http://www.farlowstudios.com/inks.html[/url]
This tutorial does a very good job of tying the basics of digital inking and the varying line widths together. There are some very helpful techniques there too.

[url]http://www.deviantart.com/view/26204193/[/url]
Finally, a tutorial on making comics. It isn't exactly a tutorial on inking, but it does show how to put a comic together which I figured could be useful.

I hope at least one of them can help you with creating this