Writing Kaian [PG]

[Lord Naraku]

Alright so Kaian. I hope thats all the things from the rules so hope everyone likes it...


Kaian

Kaian takes place on the content of Arnor. During the ancient times after the second great war there was a group of fierce dragons that came over from the lands far off to the west. They began to terrorize the people or Arnor, and its surrounding countries of Eldamar, Sereg'wethrin Hosse, and Neuro Mar. So the elders of each country banned together to discuss what they should do to stop these terror beasts they called Uruloki. The elders, who were also the rules of these countries decided they would make a seperate clan for this special duty.
This clan was made of a group of specially trained men and youth from every city in the content. They called this clan The Ndengin'Uruloki, The Dragon Slayers. These men and youth were trained by the humans and N'Shanesti in extreme hand to hand combat and how to fight with an array of weapons from swords to pikes.
They were then trained by the elves, in a different way. The elves knew how to use magic. They used these skills to train these boys how to fight in their way of magic and mind deception.
The Ndengin'Uruloki fought the Uruloki for many centuries until the dragons fled from the land unable to withstand the bombardment of the Ndengin'Uruloki. Though this almost caused a third war, one between the Ndengin'Uruloki and the dragons.
Now in the present time one boy, Kaian, doesn't know that before him awaits an adventure, as he is soon to find out that he has background and ancestors that flow all the way back in history to the first member of the Ndengin'Uruloki.
Kaian, a half-elven boy about 16 years old, lives on his farm with his mother Elen and his father Gilemar. They live outside of Oira Me'a, the capital city of Eldamar. His life is about to take a turn for the better or the worst, the decision is his.

Well hope its alright.

Lord Naraku

[Sandy]

So... is this supposed to be a prologue to a forthcoming story, or just an idea for one?

I don't want to put down your creativity, but there's little that's original in your concept. The names, perhaps (well, except Arnor, which is a country in LotR), but almost nothing else. The farm-boy that becomes a hero through a hidden ancestry, the medieval kingdoms, the dragons, the elves... All of that has been dealt with countless times before in countless fantasy novels.

LotR is one, but also "Wheel of Time"-series by Robert Jordan, "Memory, Sorrow & Thorn"-quadrilogy by Tad Williams, "Dragonriders of Pern" by Anne McCaffrey, not to mention the beginning of "Dragonlance"-saga by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. This is but a handful of fantasy books that feature a similar setting. I've read quite a few, so I can tell.

I'm sorry, but you really should try to steer away from clichés, unless you know how to use them to your advantage (which is very hard - I've tried and failed).

Just so that I wouldn't only be bashing your story, here's some hints on how to make a more original stuff:

- For one, do not make a main character a teenage farm-boy who discovers that he's the heir of a king/wizard/deity etc.! I don't know why, but oftentimes fantasy novelists are hesitant to use female main characters, probably because they can't relate, but it wouldn't hurt to try...

- Try to use some other fantasy creatures than dragons. Griffins, perhaps, or sphinxes, or manticores, or phoenixes, or rocs, or sea-monsters like hydras or leviathans, or [I]anything[/I] besides dragons! Not all fantasy has to deal with dragons, honestly!

- Same goes to the fantasy races like elves, dwarves and such. If you can't come up with your own, at least use some of the lesser-used races, like fairies or minotaurs or werepeople.

- Saving the world is a well-accepted base for any fantasy story, but it doesn't have to be so straightforward, does it? Good vs. evil is one major cliché that isn't even true in reality. By adding more colors, so to speak, the story will get more interesting and appealing.

- If you can't find different kind of inspiration from western fantasy novels, might I suggest looking into oriental mythology, or even Japanese anime and role-playing games? There's much that's strange to us westerners there, but with that strangeness comes freshness and innovation. Different cultures offer us "hobby-writers" many new ideas other than the medieval fantasy-setting that's present in so (too) many fantasy novels out there.

Hope this rant is of any help to you. I just want to add that it's not that I don't like your story, I just have heard it too many times before.

[Lord Naraku]

That was supposed to the plot type thing. Thanks for that I accept your ideas and I'll try to make it better. I will try to rework it and post it again.

Lord Naraku