Manga My Manga (comments and constructive crit wanted)

[Guest Rindsayu-Chan]

Okay, i recently started just drawing this out.... because well my Furuba DVD`s haven`t arrived from Ebay and i have spare time (lol) :animeswea

Title: Earth Angel

Summary: Mai has always been the outcast, laughed at, teased and so on. Through her bravery, she has been allowed to become and Angel that lives on Earth. After her innitiation, she goes on into the tests and trials to see if she can save a human, by being assighned to gaurd one. With the Stone of Wishes missing, Mai and her human companion will have to search the world, in hopes of finding the stone, friendship, and possibly love.

yeah... yer basic shojo mushy love story where the heroine has super natural powers and the dudes a total jerk..... but i try. I was wondering the the "plot" seemed to shakey... or if it`s good enough (not like i`m being published or anything)

being published weold be to awesome :animeblus

[Chikara Kokoro]

The basic idea for this has potential. Still, for a (I'm assuming) young girl to be made an angel out of all the people in the world because of her bravery seems odd to say the least. What about all the people who are fighting in wars? Why does some girl who is only being picked on receive wondrous powers? If you can answer these questions, you have clearly thought this out and kudos to you! If not... try to fix up the plot holes before they do any permanent damage.

The idea of the lead male is intriguing, but be careful that you don't cross the two extremes of him being evil all the time, and him becoming a sap as the story progresses.

The whole quest plot is something I find to be horribly overdone, especially searching for any kind of stone/gem with characters that happen to have magical powers.

The angel premise is also interesting, but it has begun to be used too often as well. Be positive that you are presenting something new and different with this story in one way or another.

I'm guessing that this is the first draft of your story, which means your fine. For the basic outline of a story, this is pretty good. Not great, not horrible, but good. The rough draft of anything is never perfect in any way, shape, or form, so keep on working on it and, most importantly, have fun.

[Raphael]

:animeknow Hi...

Your idea seems really usuall....but good :catgirl: ....if you did a good job on the drawing n detail of the storyline (such as what is that stone you're talkin about n what kind of journey those two would experience...) it could be great... :D

Oh yeah....I advise changing the name Mai to something else.....well you know that there's a popular anime called "Mai-Hime" who has the same primary char's name.....maybe you could use that name for someone other than the main char.... :animeknow

[Delta]

[COLOR=#656446][SIZE=1]An angel, a Stone of Wishes and a jerk. I'm thinking it'd translate really well into an RPG but it also sounds like a good start for a manga. Characters with opposing personalities (i'm assuming that much since it does sounds like a shoujo manga) always make for interesting stories (or at the very least fillers). ^^

Even so, I think that it needs something that'd make it stand out from run-of-the-mill stories. A weird circumstance (like a dragon growing out of somebody's back ) or promise/condition they have to keep [i]no matter what[/i] would tickle many a reader's interests. Also, I suggest you work out how things are gonna fit together. For example, is the search for the Stone of Wishes part of Mai's initiation, or is it a something that she stumbled upon and wanted to pursue?

Good luck![/SIZE][/COLOR]