Extra! Extra!

[Redemption]

[color=DarkOrange][size=1][b]What is the funniest/strangest news story you have heard of or read?

The two that probably stand out in my mind are:

1. George W. Bush trying to play cricket in India a few weeks ago. That was sooo funny. He wasn't even game enough to go up against the new India fast-pace bowlers - and he was offered. I would have like to have seen him try and bat against Brett Lee or Shoaib Aktar (the fastest bowlers in the world - 150+ km/h)

2. 16-year-old Singaporean male was air-guitaring on his bed (bouncing around) and happened to bounce out of his window of his 3-storey and fall to his death.

How about you guys?[/color][/size][/b]

[Goodbye, Face]

[font=trebuchet ms]Earlier this month at Ohio University, a police officer found a bike parked on campus with a sticker from the punk band, This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb on it. The cop took it as a warning and the college, as well as some neighboring businesses were closed down and the bomb squad from hours away were called in to investigate it. Funny.

Also, in Chicago there was this homeless man sleeping in a park. He woke up to being beaten by two teenagers, kicked in the stomach and stuff. They left and he was back to sleep eventually. He woke up and the same two guys were lighting his legs on fire and he fought them off and found the nearest cop to tell. Go, homeless dude![/font]

[Touchstone]

[COLOR=DarkRed]I think the strangest I heard was on NPR about this guy in Alaska who was planning on putting a nuclear reactor in his home so he could create isotopes, I think it was. Needless to say, his neighbors weren't very happy.

Also the story about the woman who robbed banks while talking on her cellphone the whole time! I wish I could have heard [i]that[/i] conversation....[/COLOR]

[Albert Flasher]

[QUOTE=Touchstone][COLOR=DarkRed]I think the strangest I heard was on NPR about this guy in Alaska who was planning on putting a nuclear reactor in his home so he could create isotopes, I think it was. Needless to say, his neighbors weren't very happy.

Also the story about the woman who robbed banks while talking on her cellphone the whole time! I wish I could have heard [i]that[/i] conversation....[/COLOR][/QUOTE][FONT=Times New Roman]

[COLOR=Sienna]"What? Noooooooo way, that is sooo coo - HEY! I SAID DON'T LOOK AT MY ******* FACE! No, not you - PUT THE MONEY IS THE BAG! So really, her hair was [i]green[/i]? Hold on a sec *gunshots*"

Ok, well, I read a story about a Japanese firm called Mail Order Goons, which is quite literal; you get a goon, in the mail, who becomes your personal goon, to do gooning and stuff. Oooooooooh the Japanese, when will they learn. :animesmil [/COLOR][/FONT]

[eleanor]

[QUOTE=Touchstone][COLOR=DarkRed]I think the strangest I heard was on NPR about this guy in Alaska who was planning on putting a nuclear reactor in his home so he could create isotopes, I think it was. Needless to say, his neighbors weren't very happy.

Also the story about the woman who robbed banks while talking on her cellphone the whole time! I wish I could have heard [i]that[/i] conversation....[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[color=darkslateblue] I thought that isotope story was hilarious. Can you imagine that? "Yes, I'm just trying to make some isotopes CAN A MAN HAVE HIS PRIVACY?!" Or this may be a side-effect of overstudying for chemistry.

I don't know about funniest/strangest, but last night I was in North Carolina and I was watching the local news. Apparently nothing was going on, so they made a big deal about some old woman who ordered a vacuum cleaner six months ago and still hadn't received it. Oh, wait, it was [i]two[/i] vacuum cleaners because she bought one for her neighbors! I can feel shivers of excitement running through my bones.

Sometimes I feel really, really bad for news reporters.[/color]

[Soliel]

[color=green][font=Comic Sans MS]Well, I don't think these stories ever made the news, and one of them happened four years ago and the other last year:

At my old high school, about a month after 9/11 and that initial anthrax scare, we had an anthrax scare of our own. In one of the geometry classes, a small tray of salt was left on the desk by the previous teacher during lunch. A substitute teacher came in after lunch and began teaching when he noticed the salt. He asked the class about it, and everyone, jokingly, told him they didn't know what it was. Well, the police and the bomb squad was called out to the school, and everyone had to stay in their classes. They eventually found out it was harmless table salt, and that's when the class admited they knew that their usual teacher liked to eat his lunch with salt. Needless to say, they were in trouble. But by then, the whole school was in an uproar as to how someone could possibly mistake a granulated substance such as salt for a powdery one like anthrax spores.

The other story was how a seemingly sound telephone poll just suddenly feel outside of my brother's school knocking out the power and causing school to be let out early. It happened right after classes started in the morning, so everyone was inside and no one was hurt. Now the strange coinsidence is that one, it was the day before a former student's funeral, and two, it was April Fool's Day. Was this a prank from beyond the grave?

Those are really the only ones I could think of. :animeswea [/font][/color]

[Touchstone]

[QUOTE=Lunox][color=darkslateblue]I don't know about funniest/strangest, but last night I was in North Carolina and I was watching the local news. Apparently nothing was going on, so they made a big deal about some old woman who ordered a vacuum cleaner six months ago and still hadn't received it. Oh, wait, it was [i]two[/i] vacuum cleaners because she bought one for her neighbors! I can feel shivers of excitement running through my bones.

Sometimes I feel really, really bad for news reporters.[/color][/QUOTE]
[FONT=Georgia]
That's hillarious! Reminds me of something off of SNL :animesmil

I feel bad for news reporters when they have to read the mail they get. On NPR, they read these responses to their programs, and usually it's some fruitcake talking about recipes or how bad they thought the story was! I remember one time they devoted five minutes to one guy's letter about how he bangs pots together...I don't even remember why that related to anything![/FONT]

[jigglyness]

I think this one time, a couple got into a fight and started blowing up their house to try to kill each other just like in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. lol. The neighbors called the polive and when the cops got there, the house was pretty much already blown up by gernades and other explosives. haha. Talk about waking up the neighborhood.

[Redemption]

[quote name='jigglyness']I think this one time, a couple got into a fight and started blowing up their house to try to kill each other just like in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. lol. The neighbors called the polive and when the cops got there, the house was pretty much already blown up by gernades and other explosives. haha. Talk about waking up the neighborhood.[/quote]

[color=DarkOrange][size=1][b]Lol. That's crazy! I've heard something like that, but it wasn't a news report.

When I went to America (in 2000), we were taking the airport flyer to LAX when the driver took us through the back way because the Lakers were playing that night, and the highways were chockers.

He took us through the suburbs and told us a really wacky story. Apparently this suburb we went through governed itself (or something to that effect). This one guy had decided to put nude photos of ladies all over his house and fence. Needless to say that the neighbours weren't too happy. They aked him to take them down, and when he refused, supposably, they lit his house on fire.

Talk about stupidity.[/color][/size][/b]

[Pumpkin]

[SIZE=1]Hmmm..I'm actually glad this topic was brought up.

I once read here on OB (I'm sure some of you remember it) about two girls in Canada who baked cookies for their new neighbor and left it on the doorstep. Only thing was it was at nightime and they ran away once they rang the doorbell as a kind of "welcome to the neighborhood prank".

Apparantly, the old woman was "scared to death" of the baked cookies and called the cops claiming she almost had a heart attack. The girls had to write a written apology and pay a fee. They almost got arrested for it which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.

The sad thing is my friend and I played pretty much the same prank with our old neighbors. However they were frat boys, so they didn't really care and infact took our cookies. Ignore my custom title, I swear they were not poisonous. No one can resist a chocolate chip cookie. Except maybe a cranky grandmother. [/SIZE]

[GUNmanZERO7]

HEre funny one I saw on Jay leno.

!. It had this this thing about a guy who fell through an iced lake on his skidoo. And underneath that head line it had another it had the guys name (the guy from above)
and it said he was going to go over the lake cops say it's safe.

[Ellerby]

[font=tahoma][color=#555555]Okay, it's ironic that this thread shows up now, because last night I saw the [i]funniest[/i] news report on the television.

[quote=dictionary.com][B]nar·co·lep·sy[/B]

A disorder characterized by sudden and uncontrollable, though often brief, attacks of deep sleep, sometimes accompanied by paralysis and hallucinations.[/quote]

Basically, the story was about a narcoleptic [i]dog[/i]. It's a very rare thing for a dog to have narcolepsy. And this particular poodle's narcolepsy was triggered by [i]excitement[/i]. And you know how excited dogs can get. Especially younger ones.

The poor thing couldn't jump onto his owners lap without conking out on the floor. The owners have to pet it (to come him down) while he eats, just so he can survive. I really felt bad for little old Skeeter as he stumbled down the hallway, struggling to stay awake.

You can watch the news video of him [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbmbQkX7czo&search=poodles]here[/url].[/color][/font]

[Caine]

I see great stories all the time on fark
my favorite was the one about how because the Oilers are in the finals, Edmonton is running low on beer

[Fyxe]

[size=1][color=slategray]Well, I was talking to my friend when we heard this radio broadcast that said this:
A child predator/sex offender was caught and put on trial for the molestation of about two or three kids, right? Well, they went through the whole trial and at the end, the judge just put him on probation for a few months because he was, "Too short to go to prison." Apparently he had only been about 5'.

WHAT?! That means midgets(no offense to whoever they are) could practially get away with murder and be sent off with a warning. According to that judge, anyway.[/color][/size]

[Esther]

[SIZE=1]I'm sure you have all heard of the "Teacher of the Year" awards and what not. Where a student writes in about his/her teacher in order to give that teacher the trophy and title of "Teacher of the Year".

Well, yesterday on the news a teacher in my area recieved the trophy, and the news team was there to capture the whole 'reaction' I guess.

So the teacher was ecstatic, the class cheered for her, and the girl who wrote in read her letter.

And that wasn't all!

The news reporter said this:

"And little Mary ( I forget her name ) won't walk off empty handed for her efforts! She recieves a [B]$20 gift certificate to Wal-Mart[/B]."

I almost died on the floor laughing. And the funniest part was that the girl was excited about her prize..
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I just remembered another one. Supposably there is a woman who has 27 orgasms a day. Then, it turned out she had an orgasm everytime she sneezed or laughed out loud.

It kind of sounded odd, imagine her during allergy season hmm?[/SIZE]

[Anakoni Stark]

[COLOR=DarkRed]back home in Vegas, they had one thing on the local tele channels.

the x360.

only three left on the shelf and the held a city wide raffle.

three people won.

good for them.

hey at least I have, I mean had one.

I laughed my head off.

honestly they shoulda left them on the shelves.

but living in a city fueled on gambling.....

anything goes.

Leon.[/COLOR]

[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]My high school has this morning program called G-TV, and one of the segments focuses on current events in the world. I remember, one of the stories they covered spoke about "The death of Anna Nicole Smith's husband of nine years." I took it as her husband died at the age of nine. I would've laughed if anyone else had appreciated it.[/FONT]

[ScreamingSquid]

My middle school hda an anthrax scare once, and it ended up on the news. See, the school had trailers instead of normal classrooms, and apparently someone dropped a pencil from a jewish community center [with the center's name printed on it, and a star of david] near an opened pixi stick. Some little 6th grader pulled out her cell phone and called 911, and the police came. Some other kid called the news, and they sent a helicopeter. We all got evacuated and had to wait across the street till they were done.
This one is a bit funnier...At my high school, there are only a few kids in the special education program, and most of them only have slight learning problems. I think total there are only 4 kids who have actual disablities...One of these kids, who I think is austistic but I'm not sure, randomly yelled at someone "i'm gonna blow you up!"...two days later, the kid got arrested for threatening to blow up the school. I think he was only in custody a little while...I'm sure his parents got him, and he wasnt suspended.

[Blayze]

[size=1]There was a story on the news here in Britain a while back, which I found absolutely hilarious.

There was a radio DJ, who was interviewing a supermodel, and on air he said "I'd leave my wife for you." Big mistake. His wife heard this and went on eBay, putting his sports car, a Lamborghini Diablo, an incredibly sought-after car, up for sale on eBay at the starting price of just £1. It was gone from his driveway by the time he got home.

Just goes to show that there really is no fury like a woman scorned. Or that revenge is a dish best served piping hot. Or something like that.

And there was another one about a man who had a squirrel problem in his back garden, so he went out and placed a digestive biscuit on the lawn, attached to a piece of dental floss. He reeled out the dental floss, and held the other end, waiting for a squirrel to bite on it.

When an unsuspecting squirrel [i]did [/i]bite down on the biscuit, the man began to reel it back in, slowly but surely dragging the squirrel, which didn't have the sense to [i]let go of the biscuit [/i]towards him. And once the length of floss was short enough, he hauled the rodent into the air and began to spin it above his head, slowly letting more and more of the dental floss out, so the squirrel ended up further and further away from the man.

Eventually, after tormenting the poor squirrel for almost twenty minutes, he let go of the floss, and let the squirrel fly right across the garden fence and into the garden two doors down. He was found out and prosecuted for cruelty to animals.

I just found that rather amusing.
[/size]

[Guest Pink Neko]

i once read a story that a fish ate a dog...i read it in the newspaper like 3 years ago. the fish was like 8 feet long and the dog was a wiener dog (i dont know how to spell the actuall name of the breed lol) but yeah...

A fish ate a dog. :animedepr