The Worst Fanboy Funk Ever.

[gabrielzero]

So I was at the comic shop today. I was browsing a few things...noticing Superboy is apparently an evil, badass character these days? :o I saw more great Alex Ross work(one of my idols...seriously, the man is a modern comics/art GOD), and all was well...[b]until The Worst Comic Book Fanboy Funk Ever?[/b] appeared on the scene. These bastards just completely destroyed everyone's innocent enjoyment of a day at the comic book store with their Great Cloud of FILTH....an Aura of Foul? the likes of which I have never experienced before. It was nearly as fascinating as it was disgusting....I couldn't believe someone would enter a public place smelling like this. The guy standing next to me was also browsing some book, and I noticed his reaction....about 2 seconds after they walked by, he did a double take....he had this look on his face just like me[i]...."WHAT the ****? Come on, now, SERIOUSLY."[/i] He looked angry...like someone just pissed in his pizza. The smell was like straight up ****. It was like they literally rolled around in beds of ****, making sure there clothes were saturated with crapjuice, to smell as horrid as possible before going out today. There are homeless people who don't even smell this bad. I was annoyed, yet highly amused at the situation all at once...I put the book back on the shelf and just left the damn store.

Has anyone ever experienced someone that smelled so putrid like this? I would assume that at that level of funk, you'd realize you smell like the inside of a turd, and proceed to "wash ya ***" as the great old Red Foxx said. I'm still shocked that someone would go out like that....it's basically the same thing as if you shitted on yourself for whatever reason, and then decided to go out to a house party without even wiping yourself. There's just no way you can be THAT musty and not realize it.

[Panda]

Ah...sounds like classic "Otaku Funk" or "H.O.B.O" (Horrible Otaku Body Odor) that usually occurs at anime conventions. I have, unfortunately, had a run in with H.O.B.O at Sakura-con in 2003. Ah, the sweet smell of convention memories...

I was standing in line waiting to get into the dealer's room. In front of me was about 50 other people. As I am watching up the line I can see they are making sour faces, waving their hands in front of their faces...one guy even fell over. As the reaction got closer to me I saw what looked like a "con orphan". A con orphan are those people who attend 24 hour anime conventions and don't bother getting a hotel room. Instead they opt to "rest" where ever they may fall. A quiet hallway, under a stairwell, in their car...even worse, in one of the 24 hour viewing rooms. They do this for the entire convention. Anywhere from 3 to 4 days. That is, if they even bothered to bathe before they left for the con.

Anyway when the con orphan walked by I knew he would bring a cloud of stench with him. That's when it hit. A stink I had not smelled ever before in my life. If it were to be animated the cloud would be brown and as it enveloped people it would instant destroy them. Wallpaper would peel off of walls, people wilting like dead flowers...just as if the doors to Hell had opened up and vented evil gasses. Truly, it was a noteworthy stink.

So, because of this H.O.B.O problem many cons have a smell patrol that sniff out these stinky people and tell them they have to address their offensive odors or leave.

[Ol' Fighter]

Ha, ha, you two thought you smelled something funky well do I have a story to tell you :) ...Okay it all started when I went out to eat with my friends we found a table and sat down and we're waiting for a waiter to come to our table when my chubby pale Lex shouted "Hey can we get some ******* service here", then I could of sworn for a split second there was this guy one of the waiters there he was talking to someone and I say there entire body just twitch for split second I thoght I was just seeing things when all of a sudden I see the other waiters kinda giggling I looked around to see if one of my friends say it but they were to busy talking to eachother my best friend of the group looked at me and said "What's the matter", I said nothing so the guy's walking closer to us now and my friend says finally and then that second before he opened his mouth I held my breath, my chubby pale didn't no all of my friends all 4 of them didn't no what hit em' Lex's hair literally kinda stood on end and his eyes kinda teared up his gf started coughing a little Dawn kinda had that look like...WHAT THE ****!!!...and my best friend Mishell...it hit her so hard that if she were as white as the snow she would have turned dark as the night :faint: ....I kinda felt bad not warning them of the disaterous stink that was heading there way but I like a good laugh :laugh: and my chubby friend just said "Ah...**** it" so I politly said sorry we're at the wrong place and we have reservations elsewhere so we all left and my best friend looked at me with a glare that would strike fear in the gods themselve :flaming: all I said was "People stank these days" :rolleyes:

[visualkei]

OMG I laughed so much b/c of [B]gabrielzero[/B] and [B]Panda[/B]'s posts!

"I'm still shocked that someone would go out like that....it's basically the same thing as if you shitted on yourself for whatever reason, and then decided to go out to a house party without even wiping yourself. There's just no way you can be THAT musty and not realize it."

Seriously! Like how the heck can you not notice some things! I don't remember an experience about such a funk, but there's this one time when my roomie's bf stepped into the biggest pile of **** and dragged it around my apt complex. I was about 20 meters from my apt, and noticed a trail of **** going from the sidewalk, up the stairs, and to my apt! I was like wtf! Who's so ******* unconscious to not notice you stepped into a giant pile of **** and dragged it 20 meters into someone's apt! Then the **** was on our carpet, and my roomie and her damm bf didn't even notice this until they were inside. EEEeeediots!

[Japan]

[COLOR=Indigo]Panda, if that was the year that I was trying to come, I am glad I didn't.

Well, this is/was not a one time thing. It is on going. Well, there is a guy that attends my college. When I am on the computer in the morning he is often sitting there at the handicap computer reading web comics. He smells and looks like he never bathes or wear deoderant either. I almost faint whenever he is near. He almost always is when I go near a computer.[/COLOR]

[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]Phew, schools full of pubescent teenagers are rank. Those who don't wear deodorant, or sweat easily or profusely, and especially those who don't see any necessity in showering (unfortunately, those are all the cool nerdy kids). They're all over the place. My school is packed with people, and it takes a while to get across the hallway. While in the midst of all the other bodies, some pretty bad smells mix and float around. It's terrible. On occasion, you hear of people skipping class to smoke pot in the bathrooms, too, and my school is supposedly a very good one. x_x;; I've never smelled it, though, cause I'm all ready afraid of the bathrooms. There was a strong smell of cigarette smoke in the main hallway one day, though, which was rather confusing.

However, the worst thing I've ever smelled is probably one of my best friends. I've had to sit next to him on the bus home from school last year, and his odor ricocheted across the tight aisle and small spaces and came back to me. x_x;; my mom keeps telling me that she's not going to let him in the house if he keeps smelling like that. I don't know how else to describe it other than bad body odor, but he insists that he showers and makes up tons of excuses, or denies it altogether. X_X;; sigh.[/FONT]

[J!nX]

heh I see a few people like that. Usually at concerts. well and someg grimey kids at school :-P

[Leofski]

I'm willing to admit that I have probably had this level of stench, but that was at the Reading festival. IE 4 days and nights in a muddy field, too busy rocking out for personal hygiene. I've known guys who've gone home with trench foot, and on the last morning things like tents and gas canisters get thrown on bonfires leading to one almighty stench if its been a rainy year. Dry ones are quite a lot better.