Manga Naruto Manga [Warning: Spoilers]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/006.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Yeah, there it is, Chibi. The single greatest waste of a sheet of paper Masashi Kishimoto has ever created. Note Sasuke's almost gleeful expression and Karin's face at the moment of the bite. I'm not even going into detail on that cut. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes in context, I'd think it was a page from a bad hentai doujin (not that I read those.)

One Piece made me feel a little better, but it wasn't as good as last week's One Piece Chapter. Bleach also helped a little until I realized that tentacles were involved in a fight entirely inappropriate for tentacles.

I'm overall not happy with Jump this week. Even One Piece couldn't wash the taste of fail from my mouth. Maybe Sasuke will contract HIV from biting her. Or rabies. That might make it worth it.[/FONT]

[chibi-master]

Holy crap!!! Those look more like cookie cutter scars than bite marks!!!:o

[Magus]

No comments about that other chapter.

I found this chapter (413 I think... Seems like it's been ages since the last release) interesting. And I'm still of the opinon that Sasuke's gotten weaker since losing the curse mark. Sort of makes me wonder why Suigetsu haven't ditched the group yet.

Gotta make sure I read this right. A person in control of there beast (I can't think of the names for nothing) is even stronger than a person who can't control it? It makes sense, but Kishi is making it sound like Naruto is going to go through more training after this frog stuff.

Anyway, I see some people being very happy about Sasuke getting whooped.

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well, the break was nice. Unfortunately, it couldn't last forever, so it's back to doin' what I do.

Recap: Chapter 413

Number 8 is... 8-Tails. That makes sense. He looks kinda like Naruto does in one-tail mode. Sasuke noticed too. Good for him. He activates his shenanigans and does this weird flippy thing over the guy. Apparently only Sasuke and Killer 'Bi's brother can dodge him in this mode. He's still bustin' lame rhymes, by the way.

Oh, Suigetsu just remembered he can turn into water. So he can dodge, too. Sasuke tells Karin to keep an eye on 8-Tails, who's too fast and strong to keep up with without Sharingan, anyway. Sasuke nearly gets owned, but he activates his super newclear mango shenanigans. Which turns out to be...

Oh, yippy skip. More genjutsu. It temporarily paralyzes 8-Tails and Sasuke approaches to throw the Master Ball and make the catch. Suddenly...

SASUKE GET OWNED!

Oh, wow. This kid bleeds. Is that supposed to bend that way?

Anyway, it's Juugo to the rescue. He catches Sasuke, who is seriously bleeding on everything, not that I mind. Karin rushes in, no doubt to get another masochist fix.

Problem, though. Sasuke's neck and chest are missing. COOL! Maybe he'll actually die. Juugo thinks of Kimimaro for a second. I have no idea what "he's like my reincarnation" means, but I do recall that Kimimaro died. Good sign.

Oh, but Juugo also has a ridiculous Deus Ex Machina healing power. He's gong to fuse some of his skin and chakra where Sasuke's used to be. Damn, looks like he's gonna live again. Sidenote: close your shirt, Karin. Those bite marks do the impossible by making you less attractive. Anyway, 8-Tails explains that since he can control his beast they can snap each other out of Genjutsu spells. Not gonna work, Sasuke. Finally, we shall meet his true form.

It's a... giant Ox. With octopus tentacles for tails. Kishi, share with me the drug which you partake in.

The End.[/FONT]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]SASUKE GET OWNED!

Damn, looks like he's gonna live again.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

@ first sentence in quote: YUSSS!!! ~ding dong, Sasuke's dead!~ Cake time!

@ last sentence in quote: NO!!! D*** IT ALL!!!:mad: How many people on Sasuke's team can freakin' HEAL every ailment that Sasuke gets?!?! *sigh* No cake until Sasuke's dead...and I wan't my Dead-Sasuke cake...*sniffle*

Hey...if there wasn't any Sasuke...there wouldn't be any SasuNaru, right? Argh...which will I side with...FINE! I'll side with the anti-Sasuke team...bye-bye, SasuNaru fanfics...:animesigh

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Ace's Chapter recap: Chapter 414

"What does the scout ninja say about his chakra level?"

"It's over NINE THOUSAAAND!"

"Shut up, Karin!"

Anyway, that's pretty much how the chapter starts. That and Suigetsu wetting himself (I made a funny!) Let's have a look at the next page...

"I'm gonna bully you, 'cause I'm a longhorn bull!"

...

[IMG]http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/8/29/128645474277022097.jpg[/IMG]

Anyway, The Ugly One is still panicking about Hatchibi's power level and fangirling over Sasuke as Juugo finishes his emergency bullcrap surgery. Juugo turns into a kid for some reason, and tells Sasuke that he can't die because he's all he has to remember Kimimaro by.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't Sasuke pretty much the reason Orochimaru lost interest in Kimimaro and therefore let him die? KILL HIM, DUDE.

Oh, I love this. The Ox is coming in for an attack. "Whee," he says! Good to know one of us is having fun. He's blocked by Suigetsu, who has the advantage in this fight despite the fact that he was screwed five minutes ago. Go fig. So anyway, Ox boy don't care. He fires his lazer and pwns Suigetsu in one hit.

Cut to Naruto. He's apparently made a breakthrough in his Sage training. He can kind of sense natural energy. Good, now it's time for lunch. After that, he's going to try and lift one of those stone frogs.

Because nothing compliments failing at the cost of your life than some ADD kid rubbing the fact that he can do it in your face. So he succeeds in doing so, then drops the statue on its back like he's protesting something.

Cut back to Cloud Land. A couple of Cloud Jounin come upon the fight, complain about Killer Bee's tendency not to listen to their Kage and notice that he's fighting Akatsuki members.

So anyway, Suigetsu's drooling all over himself now (not that you can tell.) The Ox lets out another "Whee!" Sasuke busts out the Shenanigans. Chapter end.[/FONT]

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]Yet again you've summed up the majority of my thoughts about the latest chapter Ace, and done so in a far funnier manner than I could have.

In all seriousness though, my hope for Naruto as a series is waning by the week. From this week's chapter and the sacrifices of the members of Taka it appears that Sasuke has been moved by their actions to understand the meaning of teamwork, loyalty and friendship...which would be all well and good if his former comrades from Team 7 haven't been doing exactly the same thing and getting the collective shite beaten out of them for months doing the same and having no success.

As for Naruto, regardless of how fast he learns how to control his Sennin-chakra I'm still not buying this as a truly viable power for him over actually bloody learning how to control the Kyuubi and this getting a hell of a lot more power. Yet again we're forced to wonder exactly what it was that Jiraiya taught him for those three years during the timeskip, because it's looking like sweet ****-all.

In the spirit of the laughable nature of Naruto at the moment, I present this demotivator.

[IMG]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=26683&stc=1&d=1220132383[/IMG][/SIZE]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Good to know one of us is having fun.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

Well wouldn't you be having fun too if you were attacking Sasuke and his dim-wit lackeys? (And winning, from the sound of it!):p

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Ace's Chapter Recap

Chapter 415

Oh, crap. Sasuke's bleeding Shenanigan eye is staring straight at me like it's about to pop out. I can already tell how much I'm going to enjoy tearing this chapter asunder. So anyway, Sasuke literally stares at the Demon Ox until it catches on fire. Apparently Itachi didn't manage to give him anything new with that eye transplant. The Ox goes into a conveniently-placed ocean to try to extinguish the flames while Sasuke does the same, but with blood and his eye. Also, Sasuke can now fire lasers out of his fingertips. Go die, Sasuke.

The good news, however, is that Karin is now on fire with that inextinguishable stuff that Sasuke used. Maybe she'll burn to death and we'll be rid of her finally! Unfortunately, Sasuke cares about her for some reason. Apparently he missed all the attempted sexual assault, sweaty shirt stealing and that creepy biting thing. He puts out the flames and has Juugo go get her. Juugo does this by ripping off the neighboring Jump title's resident rubber pirate. Kishi, your manga is a cancer rivaling that of the Movie movies.

Sasuke finishes putting out the flames and retrieves the black guy. He's black, you know. Kishi likes to remind us of that a lot, doesn't he? Anyway, those Jounin from the last chapter are still standing on the cliffs watching Hawkatsuki OHKO their resident demon instead of assaulting them while they're weakened and battered. They decide to tell the Raikage that his brother has been battered like a chicken wing and dragged off to be exorcised and left to die. I hope he's not a shoot the messenger kind of guy.

Thankfully, we cut back to the slightly more tolerable main character. Apparently, he's mastered the oil. Now he must try it without frog narcotics. Fukusaku awards Naruto for coming this far with a special gift: Jiraya's first smut fanfiction. It's called "The Legend of the Gutsy Ninja." Because Kishi's creativity pool drained back in the Zabuza arc. Chapter end.[/FONT]

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]Two words: epic fail.[/SIZE]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Ace'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Also, Sasuke can now fire lasers out of his fingertips.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

WTF?! What kind of f***ing Yu-Yu-Hakusho rip-off is that?!

[Kei]

[color=darkblue][size=1]Yes, not only the the Beam Blade seems like a contrived combination of Dragonball Z and Gundam, but following in the vein of the Yu Yu Hakusho references, did anyone else happen to catch the fact that Sasuke was not fighting at 100%? He said the wounds he got from Itachi never healed.

Hence, he has also pulled an Elder Toguro's classic "THIS IS ONLY 30% OF MY STRENGTH!!"

Wonderful.

Also, was I the only one who put the "LOL OMG WTF" subcaptions on the first three panels featuring the Hachibi in this chapter?[/color][/size]

[Gavin]

[quote name='Kei'][color=darkblue][size=1]Hence, he has also pulled an Elder Toguro's classic "THIS IS ONLY 30% OF MY STRENGTH!!" [/color][/size][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"]Sounded more like Vegeta from DBZ to me, but hey, at least we can agree Kishi is [strike]ripping off[/strike] paying tribute to other authors on a regular basis. [/SIZE]

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]This sounds awful. I'm glad I'm not reading it.[/COLOR]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Chapter 416

Our chapter opens with some random guy wearing a "?" forehead protector and what appears to be a baseball cap chasing a guy wearing a Jounin jacket who resembles Naruto without whiskers. From this, I can deduce that we're reading Jiraya's book in manga format.

No way Naruto will ever amount to a Jounin, amirite?

Anyway, Jouninaruto uses a couple of smoke bombs, then gets stabbed when trying to attack even though it was his smokescreen. The pursuer proceeds to beat the crap out of him.

Or not. Apparently that was a clone. The real one approaches from behind, saying "You should give up trying to make me give up." He then judo chops the guy to the back of the head.

That's our Gutsy ninja!

*cue laughtrack*

Anyway, there's some cheesy inspirational crap here about how this foreign object will rid the world of not-peacefulness or something. The mysterious ninja is about to declare his name to the world. What is it? It's...

Cut to Naruto BAAAWing over the book. I think he's disappointed that he finally gets to read one of Pervy Sage's books, but it's the only non-erotic one. But that's just my guess.

Cut again to a Jiraya flashback. Apparently, this is here to remind us once again that Team 7 is Sage version 2.0. And to illustrate that Jiraya is ridiculously optimistic. He apparently planned to change the world with his books, of which all but one were erotic novels.

lolwut?

Cut back to...

Aww, crap. I've had about enough of you, Emo McLogicfail. Now go away.

He's not leaving. Instead, he's delivering Jinchuuriki to Madara. After that, he decides to rest up. He's going to need it if he's gonna destroy everything his brother stood for in an attempt to avenge him.

Ooh, now we get a flashback attempting to justify Sasuke's brainfart of a revenge plan. Bring it, Kishi. I'm ready when you are.

[quote name='Sasuke']Itachi gave his life to protect the village, but I'm more saddened by the loss of his life. Much more.[/quote]

Which is why you decided to give his sacrifice the finger?

[quote name='Sasuke']I didn't ask him to sacrifice himself for peace.[/quote]

Because you're the only freaking person in Konoha.

[quote name='Sasuke']And now, knowing the truth, there's no way I can do as he wished and protect Konoha.[/quote]

The truth is, he volunteered. Your logic is flawed even on this fundamental level.

[quote name='Sasuke']And I'll never forgive those three elders.[/quote]

When all else fails, blame the political figureheads. Works every time.

[quote name='Sasuke']The whole village are accomplices, trading Itachi's life for the peace they enjoy.[/quote]

Wait, since when was everyone in the village involved in the Uchihalocaust?

Anyway, I don't feel like interviewing a moron anymore, but the basic gist is he actually wants to slaughter the whole village in a fountain of blood and BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW. The speech ends with the typical emo "you don't understand!" whine and Sasuke finally leaves like I've wanted him to the whole time. Marvin K. frickin' Mooney, I tell you what.

Cut to Cloud Land. Raikage, who is lifting weights at the time (that's what black people apparently do in their spare time, see,) is enraged to learn about his brother's capture. He's after some Akatsuki and he won't rest until he's either sated or dead. Or tired.

The end.[/FONT]

[chibi-master]

ARGH!!! So many cut-to's!!! Getting dizzy...*BLARGH*

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]Kishi really has failed yet again...not just because Naruto hasn't matured an ounce really in all the years we've been reading, or that Sasuke is still the self-centred jackass he's always been (even after revelations that should change his perceptions)...it's that he failed to model the Raikage after Mr. T...yeah, that's the biggest fail in Naruto ever srsly.[/SIZE]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE="1"]Kishi really has failed yet again...not just because Naruto hasn't matured an ounce really in all the years we've been reading, or that Sasuke is still the self-centred jackass he's always been (even after revelations that should change his perceptions)...it's that he failed to model the Raikage after Mr. T...yeah, that's the biggest fail in Naruto ever srsly.[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I think it's safe to say that we all officially pity the fool.[/FONT]

[Raiyuu]

Honestly, the very last thing [i]Naruto[/i] needs at this point is [b]more[/b] two-dimensional antagonists. It already has such an enormous cast, and so much focus on Kishimoto's favourites, that we have to wait literally months before seeing [b]our[/b] favourites (i.e. Shikamaru, the series' main saving grace) in action. This manga could do very comfortably without Raikage coming between Konoha and Hawkatsuki, the only clash the fans remain remotely interested or invested in.

What we want to see: Shikamaru; Kakashi; Konoha's heroes all-out versus Hawkatsuki

What we'll get: Sasuke being constantly bailed out by his implausibly loyal and self-sacrificing followers in the name of a stupid revenge plot even he doesn't really understand; flashback after flashback of Raikage and Killerbee having brotherly spats, because Raikage wants to protect Killerbee and the village while Killerbee just wants to rap all the time; years and years of training and pointless meandering subplots while Kishimoto pads for time, trying desperately to salvage his hopelessly trainwrecked plot.

Bye, [i]Naruto[/i]. You're just not worth the two minutes a week it takes to read any more.

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]Although I probably compare Naruto to Bleach far too often, I have to say in the context of what Raiyuu posted, again Kishi really needs to sit back and take some lessons from fellow mangaka on how to successfully manage dozens of characters, because it's becoming clearer and clearer he is simply unable to do so.

I mean how many active characters do we have in Bleach at the moment ? Certainly more than twenty and yet it rarely ever feels bogged down in establishing a character background.[/SIZE]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Chapter 417

It should be noticed that the Raikage's face looks like a piece of cardboard with features drawn on. Maybe he's related to Zabuza's sword.

The chapter begins with Fukusaku playing wak-a-moron again. Naruto asks why he can't just carry the oil into battle. Fukusaku explains that it'll evaporate as soon as he leaves Toad Land's climate. Personally, I think it'd be pretty impractical to strip down to your boxers and lather yourself in oil before every battle. But hey, I don't know how Ecchi physics work.

Anyway, Fukusaku drags him off to some new place for some reason I don't really care about. Now they are sitting on square stone tiles balanced on spikes. Naruto, of course, falls off. Fukusaku catches him with his tongue. I wouldn't have. You don't know where that kid's been. Apparently you need to hold perfectly still in order to absorb natural energy.

Cut to the other, more I HATE THEM ALL crew. Apparently, they left Suigetsu's sword behind. Also, Karin has a ponytail, which defiles everything I love about ponytails. And a miniskirt, which is telling me that Kishi needs to stop what he's doing and have someone hit him over the skull with a frying pan. Anyway, apparently Sasuke now has a new power capable of destroying Konoha. And he enjoys spilling booze on wooden crates.

Oh, his eyesight is getting messed up. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. Suddenly, Karin's chakra senses tingle. Apparently someone from Cloud Land is actually doing their job. Of course, he's surrounded by these children in mere seconds, as usual.

Cut to Akatsuki, they're waiting for Pain to start the exorcism. Cut once again to Cloud Village. Raikage's aide (who is also black, btw,) has arranged for four teams to rescue KillerBee and beat the crap out of Hawkatsuki, all of whom are likely destined to get owned by some improbable cop-out. Raikage is mad at Konoha for not doing their job and killing Sasuke when they had the chance. Know what, dude? So am I. Life sucks. Deal with it. They then find out that their tracker has gone AWOL. Now a full-on assault is happening.

Three new characters. Omoi, Karui and the unnamed only white person in the entire village. Figures. The white lady has knockers, and Omoi is quick to point that out in the most vulgar way possible. They're off to answer the Raikage's summons and I'm off to get this horrible taste of Naruto out of my mouth. The end.[/FONT]

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]I have to admit Ace, as much as a I agree with a lot of what you've said, that reference the Raikage made to the Hyuuga clan on page 13 really caught my eye.

[b][Edit][/b] Just realised that probably refers to the incident where Hinata was kidnapped as a child and Neji's father died in his brother's place.

That of course and we're finally getting a meeting of the Kage Rangers, it'll be interesting to see Tobi make an appearance there under his Mizukage guise. [/SIZE]

[Shinmaru]

Yeah, that Hyuga reference caught my eye as well. What's the over/under on Kishi taking a potentially interesting plot point and completely botching it? Five chapters? Six?

EDIT: Haha, that makes sense, Gavin. We're so desperate for something good that we're hoping old storylines can somehow become good new ones. XD

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE="1"]I have to admit Ace, as much as a I agree with a lot of what you've said, that reference the Raikage made to the Hyuuga clan on page 13 really caught my eye.

[b][Edit][/b] Just realised that probably refers to the incident where Hinata was kidnapped as a child and Neji's father died in his brother's place.

That of course and we're finally getting a meeting of the Kage Rangers, it'll be interesting to see Tobi make an appearance there under his Mizukage guise. [/SIZE][/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Yeah, I probably should have touched on that one. I just figured that we already knew about it.[/FONT]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE="1"]That of course and we're finally getting a meeting of the Kage Rangers, it'll be interesting to see Tobi make an appearance there under his Mizukage guise. [/SIZE][/QUOTE]

Extra points for the NTAS reference, Gavin!

And wow. Just wow. What has become of the manga I use to enjoy intelligent debates about? It looks like it just turned into something similar to what a sick three-year-old spews when their sick.:animedepr