Your views on pre-marital sex

[Guest Gun Preacher]

I wanted to know your thoughts on this subject because there are alot kids out there having sex at a young age some to young so i want to know if you think its better to wait to get married or not to wait.

I think it is better to wait until your married becuase i was raised to belive that that the first time you have sex it should be with the person you love husband/wife
and a reason i have not had sex yet i because that i can give my wife something that no other women has had from me which is myself.

so what do you think and if you are a virgan plese tell why and do not feel ashamed be proud like me.

[NekoSama101]

i agree. i was also raised with those beliefs. and i believe that if everyone waited until they were married, aids would no longer be a problem.


and i'm proud of being a virgin! ^_^ although some people say it's nothing to be proud of, i am. i don't really care what everyone else thinks of me.

[Shinjitsu]

[color=dodgerblue]unfortunately people think being a virgin is something to be ashamed of, whereas it's quite the opposite. Congrats to those who are still one. Anyways, basically there's too much sex in the media, because as they say, "sex sells". It's rather unfortunate that most teenagers give in to peer pressure, media pressure, etc, etc. So many lives have been destroyed - yes, sex can destroy lives. Here's a [i]short[/i] list of Sexually Transmitted Infections/Diseases (STI's/STD's).
~Genital herpes
~Chlamydia
~Gonorrhea
~HIV/AIDS
~Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
~Chancroid
~Lymphogranuloma Venereum (LGV)
~Urethritis
~Syphilis
~Hepatitis B
~Hepatitis C
~Human Herpes Virus 8 (HHV-8)
Most people say "but it won't happen to me", so here are some quick facts:
[quote]
More than half of all people will have an STD at some point in their lifetime. [1]


The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD is over 65 million. [2] Every year, there are at least 15 million new cases of STDs, some of which are curable. [2,3]


More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV. [4]


In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs. [5]


Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD other than HIV/AIDS.


Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD. [6]


One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD by age 25. [7]


About half of all new STDs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. [8] The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden. [9]


Of the STDs that are diagnosed, only some (gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, hepatitis A and B) are required to be reported to state health departments and the CDC.


One out of 20 people in the United States will get infected with hepatitis B (HBV) some time during their lives. [10] Hepatitis B is 100 times more infectious than HIV. [11]


Approximately half of HBV infections are transmitted sexually. [12] HBV is linked to chronic liver disease, including cirrhosis and liver cancer.


Hepatitis A and hepatitis B are the only two vaccine-preventable STDs.


It is estimated that as many as one in four Americans have genital herpes, a lifelong (but manageable) infection, yet up to 90 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it. [13] With more than 50 million adults in the US with genital herpes and up to 1.6 million new infections each year, some estimates suggest that by 2025 up to 40% of all men and half of all women could be infected. [14,15,16]


Over 6 million people acquire HPV each year, and by age 50, at least 80 percent of women will have acquired genital HPV infection. [17] Most people with HPV do not develop symptoms. Some researchers believe that HPV infections may self-resolve and may not be lifelong like herpes. [2]


Cervical cancer in women, while preventable through regular Paps, is linked to high-risk types of HPV.


Each year, there are almost 3 million new cases of chlamydia, many of which are in adolescents and young adults. [8] The CDC recommends that sexually active females 25 and under should be screened at least once a year for chlamydia, even if no symptoms are present.


About two-thirds of young females believe doctors routinely screen teens for chlamydia. [18] However, in 2003 only 30% of women 25 and under with commercial health care plans and 45% in Medicaid plans were screened for chlamydia. [19]


At least 15 percent of all American women who are infertile can attribute it to tubal damage caused by pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) , the result of an untreated STD. Consistent condom use reduces the risk of recurrent PID and related complications: significantly, women who reported regular use of condoms in one study were 60 percent less likely to become infertile. [20]


Consistent condom use provides substantial protection against the acquisition of many STDs, including statistically significant reduction of risk against HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis. [21,22,23]


Some studies show that, for those who already have a clinically apparent genital HPV infection, using condoms promotes the regression of HPV lesions in both women and men. [24,25]


~Note: [number=references] found in the site below:[/quote]
^from [url=http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm]The American Health Association[/url]
Girls, don't have sex unless you're planning on getting pregnant. If so, also be prepared for an abortion. If you're really itching to have sex, then look up these terms. If you're still wanting to, well at least use a condom. Seriously, don't ruin your lives for a night of 'fun'. I'm not saying that if you do get married none of this will happen, but at least you'd have been able to get to know your partner/bf/gf/fiance more before you ran into it)
:D (omg, I have a lot more to say, but won't bash you over the head with it ;) ).[/color]

[Retribution]

[size=1]What makes pre-marital sex any different from marital sex if "less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD other than HIV/AIDS"? The way everyone's talking about sex, you make marriage sound like some STD-free cure, and when you have pre-marital sex, you're going to get an STD and die within a week.

Fear tactics of "look up all the terms first" won't work on a hormonal, sex-craving teenager. Instinct overrides alot of things, and words are one of them.

[quote name='NekoSama101']i agree. i was also raised with those beliefs. and i believe that if everyone waited until they were married, aids would no longer be a problem.[/quote]
I have no idea what you're talking about -- if I was born with AIDS, abstained from sex until marriage, and had sex with my spouse, I would still (most likely) give my spouse AIDS if we didn't use protection. Like I mentioned previously, marriage has little to do with the contraction of STDs; rather, it's the lack of abstinance(sp?) and use of protection during sex.

For the record, I'm still a virgin. I haven't really felt any peer and/or media pressure to lose my virginity, and I'm not in any rush to do so.[/size]

[Guest D. Resurrected]

hmm me personaly I love sex.I for one think that we over exagerate it.Trust me if guys were gust give sex write of the bat I bet you a 100 bucks that they would no longer be craved[like most men are]{dont mean to sound byst}.But beeing a virgin is cool too, I respect that.I think it should come all down to making the write choices and ALLWAYS I mean ALLWAYS were pertection

anyway thats my thoughts :animesmil

[KatanaViolet]

[QUOTE=NekoSama101]i agree. i was also raised with those beliefs. and i believe that if everyone waited until they were married, aids would no longer be a problem.
[/QUOTE]
Although I give you props for abstinence (way to go!), I wouldn't be so naive as to thinking that if no one had sex until they were married that AIDs wouldn't be the epidemic that it is, let alone any STD. AIDs isn't only passed through sex, it is also passed through dirty needles and the like. I don't know what they are teaching you in sex ed, but it doesn't sound too bright. I don't want to echo what Retribution had allready said, so I'll leave it at that.

[QUOTE=Shinjitsu][color=dodgerblue]
~Human Herpes Virus 8 (HHV-8)
[/color][/QUOTE]

I have never heard of this one, what is it?

I have a couple friends who have had one STI/STD or another at some point in their lives, none of them really like to talk about it. Which is understandable given the stigma involved with [I]any[/I] sexually transmitted disease. There's such a negative connotation with it. But then again, it's nobody's business. But what comes to mind for me is if you get an uncurable STD like AIDS/HIV or herpes (those are the only two that come to mind) is the thought "Oh my god, I'd never be able to have sex again." I'm sure you could, but the thought of passing it on would be enough to freak me right out. Eitherwhichway, it's probably not something that would set the mood.

It blows my mind how young kids are having sex these days, especially when they aren't even educated enough in order to protect themselves or their partners. I'm not one to talk because I lost my virginity when I was 14, but at the same time, I regret it. In retrospect, I would have much rather waited until I was 17 or 18. I don't really believe in abstaining until marriage... although it is a good way to keep yourself safe, but regardless if you wait until your 50 to have sex, you gotta know how to protect yourself and your partner(s, hey, whatever floats your boat).

[Sandy]

Waiting until marriage really isn't a cure for all sexually transmited diseases unless the both partners have waited - and even so, like Retri said, there's the small chance that one of them is born with one.

Implementing fear towards sex as sex education is a very questionable method, since sex is really a wonderful thing. It's much [I]much[/I] more than just a way of breeding, and people should enjoy it fully as long as they are safe with it.

I don't think that many of you who don't "approve" premarital sex will approve homosexuality, but since I can't marry my beloved boyfriend (at least with current Finnish laws), we should probably in your opinion have a sexless, platonic relationship.

However, I dare to say that despite not being married and not even having safe-sex, we are still free from STDs. Why? Because we are our first and hopefully last partners. Neither of us has had sex with other people before we met each other, so we're pretty much safe.

Neat, huh?

What I'm saying that you [i]don't[/i] have wait until marriage if you want to have 100% safe sex - you just have to find a partner who you want to spend the rest of the life with. ;D I did, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world! <3

[Ayokano]

You can get an STD from pretty much everything. Thinking about that, there was that one time I got Gonorrhoea at that gas station restroom?

On a lighter side of things, sex is a great step in a relationship. I?m personally fine with it as long it?s not casual. It shows trust between two people in a relationship. Even with its risk, it shows what you would do (or won?t) for your lover.

Also, protection isn?t like some magical barrier. You can still get an STD or pregnant with them, and most have side effects. Caps can cause all kinds of nice infections, and condoms can be torn with the fingernails or teeth.

-edit-

[quote name='KatanaViolet']I have never heard of this one, what is it?[/quote]

Kaposi's sarcoma-associated herpesvirus (KSHV), which causes Kaposi's sarcoma (KS), a cancer also found in cases of AIDS.

[Japan]

[COLOR=DarkRed]You're right, I do believe in waiting until you are married and I do not agree with homosexuality.

Anyways, true, abstinence may not protect you from some things in the end, but it sure does remove a lot of the chances and probability of getting an STI.

Premarital sex is not all it is hyped up to be when it comes down to it.[/COLOR]

[DeathKnight]

[quote name='Japan_86][COLOR=DarkRed']You're right, I do believe in waiting until you are married and I do not agree with homosexuality.[/COLOR][/quote]

[color=crimson]The two great evils facing our world today! Good choices, my friend.

It's a personal choice, obviously. It would be idiotic to be prejudice against other people just because of their opinion on premarital sex. Myself? I have an opinion that mirrors Ayokano's. If there the act is part of a serious relationship I see no problem. There's no reason for people to have this urgent need to shed their virginity as soon as possible- but if you feel confident in and love your partner then, well. Have at it.[/color]

[Japan]

[QUOTE=DeathKnight][color=crimson]The two great evils facing our world today! Good choices, my friend.

It's a personal choice, obviously. It would be idiotic to be prejudice against other people just because of their opinion on premarital sex. Myself? I have an opinion that mirrors Ayokano's. If there the act is part of a serious relationship I see no problem. There's no reason for people to have this urgent need to shed their virginity as soon as possible- but if you feel confident in and love your partner then, well. Have at it.[/color][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkRed]If two people feel they are ready and really want to 'do it', that's their business. I could care less. More power to them, but if they catch anything, they must try to be responsible enough to deal with the consequences that may occur.

Those choices are mine and mine alone.[/COLOR]

[Drifting soul]

I couldn't belive the people (sorry forgot who it was) who said girls shouldn't have sex unless they want to get pregnant. That's completly stupid!! Not everyone wants to have kids. People seem to forget that sex has 2 main functions and the other is to create a deep emotional bond between lovers.
My boyfriend and I are planning on having pre-marital sex but only to prove our commitment and love to each other. I don't see anything wrong with that whether we're married or not. We've talked about it at length to make sure we'll only do it when we're both ready and will use all the right protection.
I fully accept other people's beliefs and think people should just follow what they belief.
One thing I can't stand if people who have sex just for the sake of having sex. It's sad how peer and media pressure affects people so much.
I think the best solution to STD's and stuff is better sex education in schools and for couples to discuss sex before hand.

[DeathKnight]

[quote name='Japan_86][COLOR=DarkRed']If two people feel they are ready and really want to 'do it', that's their business. I could care less.[/quote][/color]

[color=crimson]Your care is irrelevant to their situation- well, it's more like they probably wouldn't care if you cared or, really, if any of us cared. They've made their choice and that's that.

I mean, you know. None of our personal opinions are really [i]that[/i] influential, are they?[/color]

[quote name='Japan_86][color=DarkRed']More power to them, but if they catch anything, they must try to be responsible enough to deal with the consequences that may occur.[/quote][/color]

[color=crimson]As utterly terrifying as that is, the beautiful vision I had in mind was more of two virgins deeply in love with each other confirming that love in a most beautiful way.

Realistically, I suppose most of the time the circumstances would be different. Prudently, I would hope protection was used and all the other great things that we discussed thus far were done.[/color]

[quote name='Japan_86][color=DarkRed']Those choices are mine and mine alone.[/COLOR][/quote]

[color=crimson]That was kind of my general point. To each his own path.

I respect your opinions and everyone else's- I don't feel much of a concern over who you sashay into bed with and when.

I think you're on top of that, hm?[/color]

[Sandy]

[QUOTE=Japan_86][COLOR=DarkRed]You're right, I do believe in waiting until you are married and I do not agree with homosexuality.
[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

There's one grounding difference between those two things: homosexuality [I]really[/I] isn't something you have a choice in. As a gay person, I [I]know[/I] this for a fact.

Homosexuality is quickly becoming accepted as something people are born with. You can't really say "I don't agree with female sex" or "I don't agree with different colored skin", because those type of people exist whether you approve them or not.

But having sex [I]should[/I] be a matter of choice - to have it or not to have it should be up to everybody personally. Some lose their virginity by force, most willingly, some die as virgins. It's not a black-and-white thing.

I don't want to attack anybody's faith, but I can't help feeling astonished that some religious fundamentalists (in many religions, not just Christianity) consider premarital sex (and homosexuality) as the worst things in the world, just like Death Knight sarcastically pointed out, when there are obviously much bigger problems (such as wars, crimes, diseases and famine, if you really need examples).

[DBZgirl88]

[COLOR=#004a6f]First of all, please lets not turn this into another homosexuality debate.

Anyway, being a muslim, I believe that premartial sex is wrong. But rather than rather than express my views from a religious stance, I'll present them in a logical manner.

People should only have sex when they feel it is the right time for them. But having sex is a big decision and for one's own good, they should only have sex with someone they truly love. After all, you're sharing your body with them.

Why should you have sex with someone, if you won't consider spending your life with them? If you do in fact love someone, you should be willing to live with them, otherwise, that shows you're not really commited to the relationship.

So therefore, I will just say that I think people should, for their own good, only have sex with someone they truly love and care for, and are willing to spend their life with.

The case of marriage is something legal and or religious. It makes sense to get married to the person you want to spend your life with because it gives you legal rights, and because it lets others outside the marriage recognise your relationship as being sincere. It increases commitment, and by so doing, if any children are born, they will be better cared for because their parents are commited to each other (how many guys leave their girlfriends pregnant?).

Being commited in a relationship helps to reduce the risk of STD's because partners, like Sandy mentioned, have probably not have had sex before, and if they did, they are more willing to mention it for their partner's safety.[/COLOR]

[Retribution]

[QUOTE=Chabichou][COLOR=#004a6f]First of all, please lets not turn this into another homosexuality debate.

Anyway, being a muslim, I believe that premartial sex is wrong. But rather than rather than express my views from a religious stance, I'll present them in a logical manner.

People should only have sex when they feel it is the right time for them. But having sex is a big decision and for one's own good, they should only have sex with someone they truly love. After all, you're sharing your body with them.

Why should you have sex with someone, if you won't consider spending your life with them? If you do in fact love someone, you should be willing to live with them, otherwise, that shows you're not really commited to the relationship.

So therefore, I will just say that I think people should, for their own good, only have sex with someone they truly love and care for, and are willing to spend their life with.

The case of marriage is something legal and or religious. It makes sense to get married to the person you want to spend your life with because it gives you legal rights, and because it lets others outside the marriage recognise your relationship as being sincere. It increases commitment, and by so doing, if any children are born, they will be better cared for because their parents are commited to each other (how many guys leave their girlfriends pregnant?).

Being commited in a relationship helps to reduce the risk of STD's because partners, like Sandy mentioned, have probably not have had sex before, and if they did, they are more willing to mention it for their partner's safety.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[size=1]Marriage isn't some romantically holy union with your spouse where the world turns gold and things end happily ever after. Approximately 50% of marriages end in a divorce. Therefore, I can say with certainty that abstaining until marriage, while it's good for some folks, isn't the infallible path to take on the matter. Marriage doesn't [i]really[/i] mean you're going to stay together and be committed. I do see your point, though. I've had it hammered into my head for the last x-years of my life in Sex Ed.

Basically, the entire matter should be a personal choice -- like Sandy pointed out, some folks just can't get married, but that doesn't mean they should abstain (well, unless you're against homosexuality). I think even the religious should say their beliefs, acknowledge that not all people will agree, and move on. Instead of labeling it as some highly immoral act, try moving on and addressing [much] more important issues.[/size]

[recca hanabishi]

in my humble opnion, how ever humble it may be.
i do believe that it is the choice of the one's who should be having sex. weather or not to wait until marrage. but the strain on most people is pressure if you have religious beliefs and your partner does not, that can further complicate the situation, :animeknow :animestun :animesigh

[DBZgirl88]

[COLOR=#004a6f][quote name='Retribution][size=1']Marriage isn't some romantically holy union with your spouse where the world turns gold and things end happily ever after. Approximately 50% of marriages end in a divorce. Therefore, I can say with certainty that abstaining until marriage, while it's good for some folks, isn't the infallible path to take on the matter.[/size][/quote]Well, of course not all marriages end in a happily ever after. Marriage does not have any garantees, but it does help a relationship to be stronger.

But also, not all serious premarital relationships have a happily ever after ether. Any serious relationship (in which the couple at least tried to be commited, or one pretended to be commited) could come to an end, whether you're married or not. All, I'm saying is that marriage can legally protect each partner.

The only reason to avoid marriage in a serious relationship really, is if you want to be free of any legal matters. Other than that, from a non-religious prespective, I think it's the way to go.[/COLOR]

[Guest Gun Preacher]

Wait i dont know how it got switch from pre sex to std etc,know i'm not saying that early sex is bad thats your choice

now on the other hand what if it stops the relationship how do you know there not there just to hit it and quite it then what do you do if you end up pregnent or worse.

its not the fact of safe sex its a matter of respet for each other to wait until married or with the person you love.

now dont try to make my words come out wrong and i'm not judging any this is just my oppinnon.

[different ki]

Marriage is NOT a guarantee of safe sex - or love or fidelity for that matter. I know this because I'm gay and I've been to gay dating sites (yes I'm over 18, way over!)... You wouldn't believe the number of married men looking for boys on the side so to speak (or transsexuals). If there's an equal number of men cheating on their wives with other women, then I guestimate that less than half of married men are actually faithful.


I'm still a virgin though. I don't like the idea of casual sex for safety reasons - and I don't just mean STD's but also people being violent. Even though I don't approve of marriage I will wait for someone I really like. (This is unheard of in the gay community and probably means I'll die a virgin, but I've made my choice).

[The13thMan]

[FONT=Century Gothic] [COLOR=DarkOrange]
Ok, the first couple of posts talked about abstinence not being a cure for STDs in this world. I don't feel like reading any more posts, so maybe this has already been argued out, maybe not. Anyways here's my two cents.

If people only had sex they were married to then STDs and AIDS would be a lot lot less abundant in our population. Sure, you can get AIDS through dirty needles or blood transplants....or hell, you can drink a couple gallons of another person's saliva, but the most common way anybody gets AIDS is through sex. If people would stop having sex with everybody then STDs and AIDS would eventually almost disapear, bottom line. Of course i don't believe it'll totally go away, it'll just get close.

Actually it's kinda scary to think about, half of the people have STDs....that's crazy. And the way our culture is, and how people look at sex...it'll only multiply, it'll only get worse. Ohhhhhhhhh well, good thing i'm still a virgin and going to remain one till marriage. ^L^ Or so that's the plan, tee hee.

Later.
[/COLOR] [/FONT]

[NekoSama101]

I didn't mean that abstinance would be a cure. Just that it would help, a lot, with the overwhelming amount of people with AIDs today.

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=Indigo]Considering how so many people get divorced, re-married and then divorced and then re-married again, waiting until you get married or using abstinence won?t make any difference.

If someone waits until they get married and then things don?t work out should they then never have sex again? After all the more partners you sleep with the more likely it is for you to catch an STD, right?

The problem with solutions like avoiding pre-marital sex and abstinence is that they do nothing to really educate people on how to protect themselves or to take measures to avoid and treat STD?s. It?s like putting a one-inch band aide on a twelve inch cut. It does help but in the long run it?s really useless.

The problem, and mind you this is my opinion, is that many governments and religions (I?m primarily referring to the state I live in and the major religion here) refuse to show any form of responsibility. They want to just tell their children to wait for marriage and to use abstinence and then don?t understand why their children are getting STD?s and pregnant outside of marriage.

The issue here is that a lot of people are ignorant of the real reality of STD?s. They?ve heard of them, but they?ve never seen actual photos of what they do to a body, they don?t know how some can cause serious damage to your body and even make you incapable of having children yourself. People need to be fully educated so that they can make an informed choice and not one of being told this can happen, they need to see that it really does.

It?s like telling a small kid that a burner on a stove can hurt them. Sometimes you have to turn it on and put something on it so they can see that it really will burn things. I have to wonder why our society is waiting until after our children are already burned before even attempting to educate them.

For example, here in Utah there is no sex education in schools and there isn?t one in the churches either. At least the religions I am familiar with that is. So the teaching of pre-martial sex is bad for you is actually doing more harm than good as it?s not teaching people what they really need to know. They don?t grasp the reality of what can happen and for those who get divorced and re-married, they don?t even know that it?s a good idea for both you and your new partner to get checked to make sure you aren?t carrying over a disease from your previous marriage.

The sooner people quit clinging to the idea of only once you are married or using abstinence prevents STD?s and realize that we need to educate people; the sooner we might actually see real improvement. [/COLOR]

[hey_love]

[quote name='Chabichou][COLOR=#004a6f']Well, of course not all marriages end in a happily ever after. Marriage does not have any garantees, but it does help a relationship to be stronger. [/COLOR][/quote]

[size=1]I'm not sure I understand. How could marriage make a relationship stronger? Marriage is just a way to show that they are in such a relationship that they supposedly "want to be together forever". Considering how there are plenty of couples who already live together, but aren't married, or feel the same whether they're married or not, I think marriage is just a way to "legally" bind two people together, and show the world (not technically, but people surrounding the couple) that they're together.

Seeing as how marriages don't always work, and how the rate of one parent families are high, and plenty of the one-parents are after divorce, it doesn't mean anything.

Personally, I don't think being married until I have sex matters. As long as I love the person then it is fine for me.

True, there are many people who go around sleeping with everyone in sight, but that would be their problem and business, not yours. :)

And STDs have been around for ages, it isn't until recently that STDs have become such a big deal. But there are medicines to cure some, and other STDs can't be helped at all.

But having an STD doesn't actually mean a person slept with someone, because some people are born with it, too.[/size]

[different ki]

"Actually it's kinda scary to think about, half of the people have STDs....that's crazy."

Meningitis and TB can kill people and they're easier to catch than an STD. So is strep throat and it can lead to kidney damage if left untreated. Now that's crazy.