Your views on pre-marital sex

[Starwind]

I"m going tohave to go along witht he others before me and say that STD's have less to do with pre marital sex and more to do with protection. To try and keep this on topic, I have nothing against pre-marital sex, though I would liek to state that I am a virgin myself. It's just lke anything else in life; it's a choice. As long as you play it smart and rubber up, then there's really nothing wrong with it.

Though I suppose this debate is probably much more based towards the relious ideals about whether or not it's okay, in which case I say no comment. I'm not a religous person and don't carry alot of what I think to be the excess baggage of christianty. I won't get into that exactly, but I do consider pre-marital sex to be part of that excess baggage. As such, if it's something your really willing to with and do then good for you, go for it. All I ask of my fellow horny teen male brothern, keep your twinkie wrapped.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=DarkOliveGreen]I see nothing wrong with pre-marital sex. I grew up in a religion that basically made it clear that any form of pre-marital sex was not only wrong, but also the only way to keep you from getting STD?s. Now I?m older and know better. I pretty much agree with everything indifference already stated. There is no sex education here in Utah and the major religion acts like pre-marital sex is the cause of all sexual problems. If you?ve had sex with someone and you are not married, they will literally turn their backs on you and act like you do not exist, as if you are not worthy to be their friend.

I?ve seen it done to people and it just makes me sad since many who are looking down on them are no better themselves. If someone wants to wait until marriage to have sex then by all means wait. I think it should be something that is by choice instead of supposedly being the way to rid the world of STD?s.

I think the real problem of STD?s comes from thinking that teaching children to not have pre-marital sex and that if they practice abstinence it will protect them from ever getting a STD.

Educating children so that they can make in informed choice is in my mind the best solution. And after being educated you still choose to wait, then wait. I know I intend to wait, not necessarily for marriage but for someone who is special to me. [/COLOR]

[Fyxe]

[size=1][color=slategray]I don't "believe" in marriage, so I cannot say that I am against premarital sex. But, I think it's wise to wait until you are older. I know 12-15 year olds that have already had sex, and I think it's ridiculous. Sure, teens are curious and media/etc. puts it out there... but do you want your curiosity into a major problem? So many girls are having to drop out of school because of their early pregnancies. But a lot of people are putting the stress on the girls that end up pregnant, saying it's their fault. In reality, however, it's normally the guy in the relationship that pressures the girl. Sure, the girl could say no, but let's face it... most girls in a relationship do the things the guy wants to, in fear that the guy will "stop loving them" if they refuse. Plus, men are just stronger, and it can always turn into rape. The blame is on both genders.

Anyway, I think that people should at least wait long enough so if they get pregnant or an STD, they can cope with it better and not have their whole lives ruined. Now, I know there isn't much you can do about getting an STD, but still.
Condoms and birth control, children, condoms and birth control. Now, if something gets past both of those things, then, well... too bad.[/color][/size]

[Hanabishi Recca]

[QUOTE=Gun Preacher]I wanted to know your thoughts on this subject because there are alot kids out there having sex at a young age some to young so i want to know if you think its better to wait to get married or not to wait.

I think it is better to wait until your married becuase i was raised to belive that that the first time you have sex it should be with the person you love husband/wife
and a reason i have not had sex yet i because that i can give my wife something that no other women has had from me which is myself.

so what do you think and if you are a virgan plese tell why and do not feel ashamed be proud like me.[/QUOTE]

First off, I think it is wrong to have sex before marrige *coughfornicationcough*
But I am a virgan, why would people have a feeling that being one is bad?
I am only 13! XD

By the way, I will not take pride *coughprideoflifecough*, yet not defeat either. ;)

EDIT:

[QUOTE]I don't "believe" in marriage, so I cannot say that I am against premarital sex.[/QUOTE]

What do you mean by that?

[Guest Gun Preacher]

I do not think that pre sex is a way to care std's but it would help.

and it think it is wrong to outcast someone just because they had sex before marriage as humans we were born to make mastakes and also to corret them and having pre sex is not a reason to abandon someone.

[KatanaViolet]

[QUOTE=Sandy]
I don't want to attack anybody's faith, but I can't help feeling astonished that some religious fundamentalists (in many religions, not just Christianity) consider premarital sex (and homosexuality) as the worst things in the world, just like Death Knight sarcastically pointed out, when there are obviously much bigger problems (such as wars, crimes, diseases and famine, if you really need examples).[/QUOTE]

Word.
But then again, in most religions homosexuality is considered a sin, so therefore you should be able to have pre-marital sex, because they cancel each other out! :laugh: No? Not funny? Perhaps I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes :animeswea

But seriously folks, having sex is just as much a responsiblity as it is a pleasure. And if you do choose to have sex before you're married then you need to be smart about it: educate and protect yourself! It's all a matter of free will, but in order to prevent STDs you need to use protection, and as someone had allready said, protection doesn't always help either.
Anyone can tell you that abstinence is the best protection, whether they are abstaining or not. You don't need any religious or moral reasoning behind it, it's just common sence.

[shinji172]

[QUOTE]Different Ki said:I'm still a virgin though. I don't like the idea of casual sex for safety reasons - and I don't just mean STD's but also people being violent. Even though I don't approve of marriage I will wait for someone I really like. (This is unheard of in the gay community and probably means I'll die a virgin, but I've made my choice).[/QUOTE]

The probelm i have with these debaits is that just because someone is gay or has sex before marriage/underage, some people will automatically assume that they are promiscuous. Whilst that [I]could[/I] mean the persons involved are sexually promiscuous (and therefore more likely to spread disease) the same can be said about people in a marriage/straight people/middle aged adults (and so on).

In terms of disease, the main problem is that more and more people are being sexually promiscuous (regardless of age or sexuality). However, whilst a stable relationship/marriage is less likely to result in STD's, the chance that it could result into one (of many) disease's shouldnt be ignored (id say more but its already been covered).

Personally, i dont think pre marrital sex is wrong as long as:
1) you are in a stable relationship.
2) you have past your teen years.

[U][B]Reasons[/B] [/U]

1)In a stable relationship (one that is meant to last for the rest of the partners lives) the partners are commited to each other. Hopefully it will result into marriage but certain cercumstances can get in the way of that (lack of funds, said marriage being considered shameful e.t.c.). As far as im concerned, commitment and love are all that are ,needed.

2)When you are in your teen years, your body goes through drastic changes (Hormones being the worst). These have a chance of causing a person to perform irrational actions (e.g. promiscuous, underage and underprotected sex without thinking things through) due to the confusion caused during this time.

Well thats my two cents.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE=KatanaViolet]Word.
But then again, in most religions homosexuality is considered a sin, so therefore you should be able to have pre-marital sex, because they cancel each other out! :laugh: No? Not funny? Perhaps I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes :animeswea .[/QUOTE]

[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]Hey I laughed- but I'm easily amused too..

I have no problem with pre-marital sex. I've done it a few times myself. Hey I like sex and if you want to call me a slut I'll laugh at you. :p

That said I think if you're going to have pre-marital sex you should be smart enough to get yourself tested on a regular basis and make sure your partner(s) does the same. It's all about respect. If you don't have any respect for your health don't bother getting laid. Simple as that.

Sex is a very scary thing- really nice too- but scary. I mean think about it, you're about to let someone other than your cat or your gynocologist see you completely naked and hope and pray to whichever God(s) that he/she doesn't find you repulsive and go running out the door. Then there's hoping that the sex isn't bad (if you've done it before) or that it's painless. Or that you can keep it up long enough for both of you to enjoy it. You have to think about condoms (both sexes) and hope that other methods of birth control have been taken at the right times. And you worry that you have bad breath on top of it! It almost takes all the fun out of it!

But seriously try really hard not to think of the above paragraph and you'll be just fine.

CHW- What the schools need to combat teen pregnancy[/color][/font]

[trucha]

[QUOTE=shinji172]The probelm i have with these debaits is that just because someone is gay or has sex before marriage/underage, some people will automatically assume that they are promiscuous. Whilst that [I]could[/I] mean the persons involved are sexually promiscuous (and therefore more likely to spread disease) the same can be said about people in a marriage/straight people/middle aged adults (and so on).

In terms of disease, the main problem is that more and more people are being sexually promiscuous (regardless of age or sexuality). However, whilst a stable relationship/marriage is less likely to result in STD's, the chance that it could result into one (of many) disease's shouldnt be ignored (id say more but its already been covered).

Personally, i dont think pre marrital sex is wrong as long as:
1) you are in a stable relationship.
2) you have past your teen years.

[U][B]Reasons[/B] [/U]

1)In a stable relationship (one that is meant to last for the rest of the partners lives) the partners are commited to each other. Hopefully it will result into marriage but certain cercumstances can get in the way of that (lack of funds, said marriage being considered shameful e.t.c.). As far as im concerned, commitment and love are all that are ,needed.

2)When you are in your teen years, your body goes through drastic changes (Hormones being the worst). These have a chance of causing a person to perform irrational actions (e.g. promiscuous, underage and underprotected sex without thinking things through) due to the confusion caused during this time.

Well thats my two cents.[/QUOTE]



i totaly agree. i think prematal sex is a stupid reason to fit in with the croud. it shouldnt be done. i'm only saying it because of personal experiences with it. if you have sex at an early age then when you get married or settle down then it wont be that special and you will become an absent lover meaning that SEX WILL DIE IN YOU. sure it feels good and its mostly done for pleasure not for feelings but be smart about it and when and how and with whom are you going to do it with. it should be a precious experience for both of the partners. i know it sounds corny but im very honest. dont try to be like everyone else and dont feel preasure to do it. i dont understand why us teenagers are in such a hurry to grow up ? slow down because you have a long life to enjoy and you dont wana spend it in a hospital waiting to die off HIV. i apologized if my opinion is too strong. im just speaking my mind. same way about homosexuals. i love gay people and have nothing against them but be smart on who you wanna loose your soul to. i say that because thats how it feels, like your soul is gone and you cant go back to being you anymore. many may desagree but deep inside your'e just not the same anymore. i love you all ;)

[fire_fly52]

So my thoughts on premarital sex is..it is your choice...

[different ki]

Just talking for my personal experience here... If you want to wait till marriage to have sex you have to find other people who think the same way which can be difficult. I know a 30-year-old who is a virgin because of that. A lot of people don't even want to get married these days. In other words... What if you don't meet someone who wants to marry you? I know that's not a nice thing to think about but it can happen. Or what if, God fordid, you get engaged and then your fiancé is killed before the wedding? My mom knew someone that happened to.

I'm just saying there are trade-offs to think about. You always hear about the people who had sex at a young age and are sorry they did, but I know I a lot of people who regret NOT having sex when they could have. Casual sex is never worth it, but if you meet someone you really love what's the point of waiting for some arbitrary time, like your marriage day?

[Stark]

I personally say that abstinence is the best route unless all parties involved are ready to accept all possible consequences of having sex. With that in mind, I see that sex is best for both parties after marriage, or at least after they enter the adult world. A teenager usually isn't ready to take care of themselves, and adding a baby to the mix will make everything that much harder for them.

There is also the emotional factor involved, and that also ties into my idea of waiting until after marriage. Unless, like Sandy said, the couple is unable to get married for some odd reason, don't do the deed unless you're ready. You can't reclaim your virginity, you know.

For the record, I'm a virgin. I intend on staying that way until I'm certain that I'm ready for everything that sex entails.

[evilcatthing]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=2]I think there is nothing wrong with pre-marital sex. I do not bleieve that you have to be married to have sex. Most people i know that are at the age to get married do not want to get married. I have had sex with one preson and i am not married.So there is nothing wrong with pre-marital in my eyes.[/SIZE][/COLOR] :catgirl:

[James]

[QUOTE=Retribution][size=1]Marriage isn't some romantically holy union with your spouse where the world turns gold and things end happily ever after. Approximately 50% of marriages end in a divorce. Therefore, I can say with certainty that abstaining until marriage, while it's good for some folks, isn't the infallible path to take on the matter. Marriage doesn't [i]really[/i] mean you're going to stay together and be committed. I do see your point, though. I've had it hammered into my head for the last x-years of my life in Sex Ed.

[/size][/QUOTE]

[font=franklin gothic medium]As a little tidbit to this discussion, it's worth noting that marriage was not always a religious institution. In fact, organized religion adopted marriage as a part of religious tradition not so long ago.

Originally, marriage didn't involve love or religion, it was simply an economic agreement between families (where a wife was "sold" to the husband and his family). So originally it was essentially a business deal between families, where a family member was literally sold and became the husband's property.

This is why I find all of the talk of marriage's religious significant to be funny these days. I'm often surprised at how few people know the history of these things.[/font]

[Retribution]

[QUOTE=James][font=franklin gothic medium]As a little tidbit to this discussion, it's worth noting that marriage was not always a religious institution. In fact, organized religion adopted marriage as a part of religious tradition not so long ago.

Originally, marriage didn't involve love or religion, it was simply an economic agreement between families (where a wife was "sold" to the husband and his family). So originally it was essentially a business deal between families, where a family member was literally sold and became the husband's property.

This is why I find all of the talk of marriage's religious significant to be funny these days. I'm often surprised at how few people know the history of these things.[/font][/QUOTE]
[size=1]I'm going to assume that your comment wasn't directed at my post, as you called it a "little tidbit," and I can't really see any connection between what I was saying and what you were saying.

And yes, talk of marriage's religious significance is odd, now that you mention the whole history of it.[/size]

[James]

[font=franklin gothic medium]Well, you were referencing the religious significance (or lack thereof) and talking about divorce. So I was adding to that by pointing out a very small tidbit about marriage's history. If everyone was aware of their history, I doubt a lot of the current debates about marriage would be relevant at all.[/font]

[Cheeky7]

There is nothing wrong with having pre-martial sex. It's other people's choice to whether they want to have sex or not. If people are having sex before marriage, or choose to stay as virgin until marriage, it's their choice. But it's wrong for people having sex at the age nearly as young as 12 years old. (What is the world coming to?) Pre-martial sex is fine as long as you're sharing with someone special. But people shouldn't lose their virginity if they're gonna regret after having sex. I am chinese and some chinese people lose respect to people (particularlly girls) who already had sex. Especially if a girl loses her virginity before marriage, she will be considered as unvaluable. (Virginity ripped) Ofcourse these are old chinese customs but some chinese society still carry these thoughts. My opinion, it is other people's choice to have sex before/after marriage unless you carry out religious beliefs. Choose the right decision for yourself.