Advice on a Druggie Friend

[Maneki Neko]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkOrchid]I had/have (not sure right now) a best friend who has recently fallen into the hands of more and more drugs, in more and more doses, and increasingly more dangerous ones. I am talking about some serious drugs. She used to have a very big problem with meth this summer (my small town has some of the highest numbers when it comes to meth arrests, production, distribution, etc.). Altogether she has tried marijuana, cocaine, crack, ecstacy, heroine, and probably some I don't know about.

When she talks about drugs now, her eyes light up, it's all she cares about at all. We aren't hanging out now because she was using me to smoke weed at my house or crap like that because my housing rules aren't strict like her parents. If I didn't benefit her in some way, she wouldn't call me. I work with her little sister, whom is also one of my good friends. She is beginning to get very worried because my friend is doing coke constantly, and said if she could she would be doing ecstacy 2 to 3 times a month. She steals money from her workplace, and didn't accept a new job because she couldn't steal from there. (No extra drug money).

I am extremely worried about my friend, and fear that one day I'll get a call telling me that she died of an overdose.

I don't know what to do anymore, she won't listen to me since we aren't on speaking terms at the moment. Her sister tried to talk to her about some of it, and she freaked out. A friend and I thought about going to her parents, but this will just cause her to runaway again. I would try to talk to her, but she won't listen to me or anyone for that matter because all she can hear is a lecture. I also think her parents have some idea but not really. They have sent her to detox and therapists before but I don't think they know about the harder drugs.

When I think of her in 5 years, all I can imagine is her being completely strung out with no money, no job, pulling tricks to get some more dope. (Honestly, that's how bad it is.

Has anyone been in this situation or is in this situation, or has some idea as to what to do? I have been around drug problems my whole life. My own (I'm clean now, have been for 7 months) and my mothers' (I live with my dad now because my mom was a coke head). I know these situations but I am at a lost, help me out please.

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[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]After reading your post, I got the impression that you haven't told anyone about the severity of her problem. That seems to me to be the best thing to do; that is, tell someone who can help everything you know about what substances she uses, how often, how she comes by them. I'm just not sure if it's better for you to tell the therapist or the police. You seem to be the only person who can help her, and since that's the case, she probably won't appreciate what you're trying to do for her. She might even end up in jail. I know you won't enjoy that, nor will she, but it's way better than letting her kill herself this way and feeling incredibly guilty about it on top of the pain it would bring you.

Heh, I hope this helps, I don't think I'm such a great advice-giver. [/FONT]

[visualkei]

If you feel like you've done the best you can, then perhaps you should simply leave your friend alone. If they don't want to help themselves, how are you supposed to help them? In the future you friend might end up in a horrible rut, or she might come to her senses. I don't know.

I'd say the most you can do now is inform the parents. But if she isn't willing to give it up, and you guys aren't really friends, then I think you should back off.

I have a very close childhood friend who had serious drug issues and addiction problems since she was a kid. Ofcourse there were a lot of things that came into play, but basically, she was addicted. She knew I was against it. I didn't consult her parents or anything. What I did was basically left her alone. Now, it might not seem like the best thing to do, but I think it was for me and her. She never got any real counseling. She also tried to hide this part of her life from me, but I knew what was going on. Throughout this, we were always friends. Once in a while it'll come up, and I'll nag or shame her a bit, but that was it. I admit our friendship also grew apart. Eventually, I'd say a good 5-7 years of this, she decided she was tired of the way her life was, the crazy "friends" she had, and after trying many times, she quit. She told me it was because she wanted to know that she had my respect and love.

Not everyone is like this, but some just need to decide for themselves when they're ready to change.

[Sayuri-sama]

well in situations like these i always sem to find it helpful to just smack her over the head or something.....no talking seriously here you can do either one of two things. create a situations with the drugs where you'll scare her so much she'll just quti (i.e. raped because she got knocked out on meht or coke etc.) or you can let her hit her own head on the wall(learn from experience). when she realizes she screwed up then you can be all "i told you so" about it. but hey thats just me. good luck with the situation though. and p.s. in my opinion you dont need friends like those

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=DarkOliveGreen][QUOTE=Maneki Neko][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkOrchid]When she talks about drugs now, her eyes light up, it's all she cares about at all. We aren't hanging out now because she was using me to smoke weed at my house or crap like that because my housing rules aren't strict like her parents. If I didn't benefit her in some way, she wouldn't call me. I work with her little sister, whom is also one of my good friends. She is beginning to get very worried because my friend is doing coke constantly, and said if she could she would be doing ecstacy 2 to 3 times a month. She steals money from her workplace, and didn't accept a new job because she couldn't steal from there. (No extra drug money).

I am extremely worried about my friend, and fear that one day I'll get a call telling me that she died of an overdose.

I don't know what to do anymore, she won't listen to me since we aren't on speaking terms at the moment. Her sister tried to talk to her about some of it, and she freaked out. A friend and I thought about going to her parents, but this will just cause her to runaway again. I would try to talk to her, but she won't listen to me or anyone for that matter because all she can hear is a lecture. I also think her parents have some idea but not really. They have sent her to detox and therapists before but I don't think they know about the harder drugs.

When I think of her in 5 years, all I can imagine is her being completely strung out with no money, no job, pulling tricks to get some more dope. (Honestly, that's how bad it is.)
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]Based on what you have said it sounds like she is not interested in changing. I know you are worried but if she is refusing to even listen to you there isn?t much that you can do. On some level she has to want to change.

What I would suggest is telling her parents. Tell them everything that you are aware of. It?s possible that they do know she is into doing harder drugs. Then inform anyone else who might be in a position to help. You say you are worried about her running away, but at the same time you are worried about her overdosing. The way I see it is that you can?t stop her from running away, but saying nothing doesn?t help either as she could continue and eventually die from overdosing. At least that way you will know you tried. [/COLOR]

[Charles]

[quote name='Sayuri-sama']well in situations like these i always sem to find it helpful to just smack her over the head or something.....no talking seriously here you can do either one of two things. create a situations with the drugs where you'll scare her so much she'll just quti (i.e. raped because she got knocked out on meht or coke etc.) or you can let her hit her own head on the wall(learn from experience). when she realizes she screwed up then you can be all "i told you so" about it. but hey thats just me. good luck with the situation though. and p.s. in my opinion you dont need friends like those[/quote]

LOL, you've got to be kidding. You can't [I]scare[/I] someone out of a drug addiction like this. We're beyond Truth ads. Do you even realize how addictive meth and cocaine are?

This girl's long gone. An intervention wouldn't even work. Her parents have to force her into rehab or she's going to get herself killed. It's that simple.

[Patronus]

I agree with Charles. With drug-addiction cases this bad, you can't rely on the addicted to get themselves help. It won't happen. Why? Because the person's too heavily reliant on the drug(s) to see that they need help.

An intervention might work, only if the parents/participants are prepared to have your friend put in rehab no matter what happens.

[Albert Flasher]

[quote name='Sayuri-sama']well in situations like these i always sem to find it helpful to just smack her over the head or something.....no talking seriously here you can do either one of two things. create a situations with the drugs where you'll scare her so much she'll just quti (i.e. raped because she got knocked out on meht or coke etc.) or you can let her hit her own head on the wall(learn from experience). when she realizes she screwed up then you can be all "i told you so" about it. but hey thats just me. good luck with the situation though. and p.s. in my opinion you dont need friends like those[/quote][FONT=Times New Roman]
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"I told y'so!" would be a pretty indecent eulogy, don't you think?

As has been said, the only thing you can do is betray your friend for her own good. Tell her parents, tell anyone who can help her, just get her some help.

I always used the line "Drugs are for rock stars and hippies - and since you are neither, what the hell are you doing?" but I don't think that would work with meth and cocaine. Still...[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Charles]

Yeah, I just figured I would post some images to show exactly how damaging meth addiction is, just to put this into perspective.

[CENTER][IMG]http://www.stopmethaddiction.com/img/meth-user7.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]

[CENTER][IMG]http://www.mappsd.org/progression---8-years.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]

[Maneki Neko]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkOrchid]I realize that her parents might be the first to think to tell, but I know her and she will runaway again immediately. I feel that I should best leave her alone right now, but I've been really close to her for the last three years. I know she needs help, but I don't think that she can get help until she wants it.

I know how damaging meth is, I was addicted to it for a while this summer with my friend. I'm lucky enough that I don't have cravings for it. I just don't, and I've been clean since August 2005. (Yay! :animesmil ) It is a terrible drug that can tear everything apart. I know, my relationships (family, friends, boyfriends), my weight (I'm pretty small but I dropped to 84 pounds), my teeth (I didn't use for more than a month altogether and I have a chunk missing from my bottom frontish leftish tooth), and trust (I stole over $400 total in forged checks and atm cards from my dad, I have paid him back in full and he thankfully forgave me). I am not proud of the things I did or got into, I am just glad to be out of it. My friend is out of meth, I just wish my friend could get through her other things too. I like the idea of smacking her over the head though, just kidding, kind of...

I also live in a pretty small town in Colorado that is now primarily known for it's Meth as opposed to anything else. You can walk up to pretty much anyone in town and get or sell some meth. It's disgusting here now.
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