Help me, I have girl trouble.

[Anakoni Stark]

scenario:

Leon meets girl
Leon becomes friend with girl
over time Leon notices he has feelings for this girl
Leon asks the girl[not once, not twice, not thrice, but five times] to go out with him, and gets shot down all five times.
Leon wants to talk to the girl, but Leon, stops mid sentence and tells her: nevermind.
Leon begins to worry about her.
What should he do?

thank you for your time.

[color=DarkGreen][font=Trebuchet MS]Raiyuu changes Leon's thread title so it actually reflects the thread's content, and refers Leon to the [u][thread=52331]Official Otaku Lounge Rules Thread.[/thread][/u][/font][/color]

[Dodeca]

[SIZE=1][I]Leon should not ask for help from strangers.[/I]

Look, if you asked her five times to go out with you,[I] (a)[/I] your pushing it a little, and[I] (b)[/I] you need to realise that, for whatever reason, she probably doesn't want to start a 'deeper' relationship, and might never want to. That's nothing to worry about, that's just the way things are.

If you can't accept that your feelings aren't being returned, try to talk to her about it, but don't be concerned if it doesn't change anything, and try to avoid pushing your feelings on her. If nothing else, just be glad that you're still friends, and don't let your disappointment at not being anything more ruin that friendship.

[COLOR=DimGray][I][/MediocreAdvice][/I][/COLOR][/SIZE]

[The13thMan]

[FONT=Century Gothic] [COLOR=DarkOrange]Drop the whole go out with me crap for now. You like her, i understand, but she obviously doesn't like you back. Or maybe she does like you back but she can't date for whatever reason. The bottom line is she said no....5 times, and you should respect that. Either respect that or risk losing your friendship with her.

She knows how you feel now, so if she ever starts to feel that way you can at least know that she wouldn't be embarrassed about asking you out.

I wish you the best of luck. But don't stress over it too much, you're young and you've got plenty of time to figure things out. ^L^
[/COLOR] [/FONT]

[lumpy3922]

So five times you say. Well sounds like something I've been through. Where a guy asked me out, over and over, and I had no feelings for him. I have to say, give up on asking her out of some time. Be her friend let her get to know how cool you are and such. Then when you think you and her have something. Try again, it might just work.

[Charles]

[QUOTE=Leon Fury]scenario:

Leon meets girl
Leon becomes friend with girl
over time Leon notices he has feelings for this girl
Leon asks the girl[not once, not twice, not thrice, but five times] to go out with him, and gets shot down all five times.
Leon wants to talk to the girl, but Leon, stops mid sentence and tells her: nevermind.
Leon begins to worry about her.[/QUOTE]

Leon begins to realize that this girl only regarded him as a friend and has no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever.

Leon rocks back and forth in a corner sniveling.

Leon realizes how pitiful he has been acting.

Leon collects the small sliver of dignity he has left and moves on before he experiences his first restraining order.

Leon works on his social skills and meets new girls.

[HarveyDandylion]

Maybe leon should realize that being refused 5 times is most likely a sign that she isn't interested. Well you can't say you didn't try, maybe she just thinks your a nice guy.

[Stark]

Maybe Leon should stop talking in the third person. That's a real turn-off for anyone, especially potential girlfriends.

Stark's advice; look elsewhere. Obviously she's not interested in being your girlfriend. Maybe with this particular example of a female it's best to remain on the friends side of things. Maybe she just has a lot of guy friends. Stark does.

Then again, maybe she just thinks you're a stalker. In that case, it's best to stay away from her. [I]Far[/I] away. For good.

[Touchstone]

[QUOTE=Leon Fury]scenario:

Leon meets girl
Leon becomes friend with girl
over time Leon notices he has feelings for this girl
Leon asks the girl[not once, not twice, not thrice, but five times] to go out with him, and gets shot down all five times.
Leon wants to talk to the girl, but Leon, stops mid sentence and tells her: nevermind.
Leon begins to worry about her.
What should he do?

thank you for your time.[/QUOTE]

Alright, Leon I shall supplant some Touchstone advice ;).

First off, I have a few questions; how long were you friends with this girl before you started asking her out? As a girl, I would like to be good friends with someone for a fair amount of time before they asked me out, to be sure they liked me for me and not just my looks or something like that.

Next, five times is way too many times to ask a girl. How long was the space between these? I would feel like you were stalking me or something!

And how come you didn't talk to her? Maybe if you tell her how you feel, make yourself a little vulnerable, she might see your point of view and either accept your invitations or tell you why she won't.

Hope I was helpful, and good luck! :animesmil

[Charles]

[quote name='Touchstone']First off, I have a few questions; how long were you friends with this girl before you started asking her out? As a girl, I would like to be good friends with someone for a fair amount of time before they asked me out, to be sure they liked me for me and not just my looks or something like that. [/quote]

See, be careful with this Leon. You definitely don't want to visit the friend zone for very long because it's there where you'll basically become one of her girlfriends and you'll never have a chance.

Just don't come off so desperate and weird next time and you should be fine.

[kalon]

[quote name='Charles']See, be careful with this Leon. You definitely don't want to visit the friend zone for very long because it's there where you'll basically become one of her girlfriends and you'll never have a chance.[/quote]

With all due respect to your advice, Charles, that's not neccessarily true. Just last week one of my friends started dating a guy she knew for years who is her best friend. I know a few couples who knew each other since elementary school and started going out.

But they only date because they were attracted to each other, and unfortunately for Leon, this girl does not sound interested. Try to back off from the girl and ask out someone who likes you as much as you like them. Relationships work out much better with two willing people.

Unless you are stalking a celebrity, in which case you tie them to a chair in your basement and never let them leave. ;) :naughty:

[Charles]

[quote name='silver_blade']With all due respect to your advice, Charles, that's not neccessarily true. Just last week one of my friends started dating a guy she knew for years who is her best friend. I know a few couples who knew each other since elementary school and started going out. [/quote]

Well, I certainly don't mean to say that it's impossible for two people to form a romantic relationship after a long-term friendship but it still is something he should be careful with. There's also the issue of possibly jepordizing a long-term friendship with a romantic relationship.

At any rate he really shouldn't have to form a long-standing relationship with a girl for her to know his intentions are good--if he carries himself properly. As I previously said, in order to accomplish anything at all, he'll have to be a little less weird and clingy in the future.

[visualkei]

[QUOTE=The13thMan][FONT=Century Gothic] [COLOR=DarkOrange]Drop the whole go out with me crap for now. You like her, i understand, but she obviously doesn't like you back. Or maybe she does like you back but she can't date for whatever reason. The bottom line is she said no....5 times, and you should respect that. Either respect that or risk losing your friendship with her.

She knows how you feel now, so if she ever starts to feel that way you can at least know that she wouldn't be embarrassed about asking you out.

I wish you the best of luck. But don't stress over it too much, you're young and you've got plenty of time to figure things out. ^L^
[/COLOR] [/FONT][/QUOTE]


I agree with The13thMan. You should [B]respect[/B] her decision. I think that after the second time, you're kind of pushing it.

Maybe if you did the opposite and act like you don't like her, who knows that might work. =P.

Anywayz, I think it's best to leave that part of your relationship alone. Good luck.

[Anakoni Stark]

hey guys thanks for the advice, but apperently, no one else really notices me, maybe cos i suffer from [a possible] undiagnosed case of selective mute-ism. im going to drop her. and just stay at the far far far off aquantices motel. i just hope that will just keep her happy. =/ as for me.... well i dont know how im going to cope with the problem, TO DO: work on social interation skills third priority. ( of very high inportance)

wish me luck!

thank you guys for the advice

*and to the adimistration, dont close it up. cos i may need this thread again down the road.

[Anakoni Stark]

hola, again. i've got an update, but not of the cheery "holy crapeh, mr. fury you got the girl of your dreams, congrates dude!" kind, but y'know. the other kind.

well spring holiday is done and over with, i thought i'd be well rested and rearing to go, but, to my own suprise i've become more and more anxious, been skipping meals, and losing valueable hours of :sleep:. i cant think straight, im now having difficultly verbally communicating, with not just ms. smith[the girl i like, but that isnt her actual last name], but with my friends, too.

so.

one question to ask: is not talking to *ms. smith* running me into the ground?

no.

wait.

two questions: is not talking to *ms. smith* running me into the ground? and if it is can i get help from anybody?

thank you for your time.

[evilcatthing]

:catgirl: [COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=2][FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium]you should tell her how you feel about her. Don't be scared. You have to be a man and fight for what you want. But try to find out if she is into you. well i hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It works for me when i go after a guy or girl i like.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] :catgirl:

[Dodeca]

[SIZE=1]I don't think anyone suggested distancing yourself completely, but just to hold off on the dating attempts. As such I was a little surprised when you said you'd decided to [I]"drop her, and just stay at the far far far off aquantices motel"[/I], but I didn't want to say anything at the time.

Anyway, whatever you do, [I]don't[/I] let the fact that she doesn't want to date you get in the way of your friendship. It doesn't mean that she doesn't want you to stay friends if she turned you down, just [probably] that she didn't/doesn't feel 'that way' about you, y'know?


Everyone goes through this sort of thing from time to time, and backing away from it won't solve it. Take a few steps back emotionally if you must, but don't pull away physically.

[CENTER][i][COLOR=DimGray][Did that even make sense...? Err...][/COLOR][/i][/CENTER][/SIZE]

[Guest poet of ice]

tell her how you feel if she doesnt feel the same with you, its ok but just be her friend still. sooner or later if she starts to act different around you she might like you then ask her out again but she might not so dont get your hopes up

[Anakoni Stark]

[COLOR=Blue] hey guys, im in the middle of study hall, and.....SHE"S RIGHT BEHIND ME. i can feel my throat run dry, and im chewing on caffine gum. my mind's racing at 1,000,000mph. bpm is jumping up. i want to talk to her, but im losing my sanity, i cant think straight. i want to talk to her, but im losing myself! help me! people [/COLOR]

[shinji172]

Since your in study hall, il make this brief. Calm yourself down! Take some deep breaths, try to focus your mind on something else (work for example). If you want, talk to her during break, lunch or whatever but [B]dont[/B] ask her out on another date. Just be friendly and dont do anything stupid.

Good luck.

[Raina]

[COLOR=Blue]Take it from a woman. If you like her so much, don't give up! Don't push too much either. You don't want to make her hate you. She might have some reasons to why she wouldn't go out with you.
So ask one of her friends. Then tell that friend exactly how you feel about this girl, because this friend would definately tell the girl you like. If the girl you like is normal, she would start looking at you in a different way.
These things take time. You're young (I'm guessing), you've got all the time in the world![/COLOR]

[Stark]

[SIZE=1]Sleep disturbances, unclear thoughts, and lack of appetite could point to depression. At least, that's how I get when I get so depressed that I become manicky. My advice; Keep your cool. Don't let the nerves get to you. If you act like the nice guy you seem to be, there should be no problems.

Also, talking to someone could help. Try the schools counsellor, as they're bound by confidentiality to keep everything you say private unless it threatens harm to yourself or others. Then again, even the latter might be included in the confidential stuff. I don't know for sure. Just talking to someone can actually help a lot, and you can get more accomplished than posting your problems in online forums. It really does help, I know that from experience.

Another tip: Lay off the caffine. One thing I've found, if you're already jittery it does not help at all. It only makes everything seem that much worse than it really is. Also, depending on your habits with it, it could be why you're having problems sleeping. [/SIZE]

[Anakoni Stark]

[QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue]Take it from a woman. If you like her so much, don't give up! Don't push too much either. You don't want to make her hate you. She might have some reasons to why she wouldn't go out with you.
So ask one of her friends. Then tell that friend exactly how you feel about this girl, because this friend would definately tell the girl you like. If the girl you like is normal, she would start looking at you in a different way.
These things take time. You're young (I'm guessing), you've got all the time in the world![/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[COLOR=Red] the problem is, i AM one of her friends, but we're arent THAT close, after the fifth attempt, i kinda kept mum about my feelings for her. IT'S BEEN THAT WAY FOR FOUR MONTHS. and im just kinda sorta lost, i want to talk to her about it but, i see two outcomes.....

1. Leon: hey, i really wanted to talk to you about something....
*ms. smith* : about.....?
Leon: i.....um......screw it nevermind.

OR

2. Leon: hey, you do know i worry about you right?
ms. smith: ...... when does FFXI come out on the x360? will i need a gold account to play?
Leon: *thinks* not the point. *sigh* -_________-' i dont know when it comes out, here in the United Kingdom anyways, and no you dont need a gold account, your free silver account will cover for you. *sigh*
ms. smith: thanks, mr. fury!
Leon: -______-' yah, whatever.

^ how i see them, dont ask.

yup im really having a hard time, and she gets out of high school in like a year. i keep telling my reflection in the mirror:

Leon: she isnt for me. she isnt for me.
reflection: she is. she is. i mean you wont find any other girl here in London that plays video games and reads and draws anime.
Leon: :animeangr damnit i hate it when im right.

how will i get this over with? cos im tired of *talking* to her through paper and the boards[crap,shouldnt of said that]. really really [spoiler] *******[/spoiler] tired of it. but i cant find a way to sum up enough willpower to say anything farther than: "hello, how is your day going?"

it's messing with me. my ears are ringing, im having difficultly staying awake[if i sleep now, i'll get up at 2352(11:52pm) and have more difficulty sleeping] still cant think straight. the ringing started at 1200(midday) and has continued til now, 1608(4:08pm)

:animeangr

thank you guys for your time.
[/COLOR]

[animetruth]

i see that you truly have trouble times ahead and i have a theory on this. i believe that you are plucking this flower far to fast from start and have decided to quit when the petals began to fall but you must not give up leon for if you truly love this flower of your eyes then your must pluck her with a tender and gentleness to such but be forwarned that if you takes this flower from its depths to slowly it will wilt never to be seen again. I would know for it has happened to me when i loved this one boy. i tried to pick him to fast and he backed away but by the time i was ready to take him by his stems it was to late as his life passed on to another land far from my home. I often wonder what would have been if i chose to take him at the right time but also remember that if you arnt careful with what flower you choose your fate may lie in ruin and hatred or peace and prosperity. i would say not to give up after all she is your friend and as a friend she must understand your feelings for her that may last for ever or a few months. after all teens like you and me always get sidetracked with beauty or grace and forget the meaning of entertaining ones self with something as simple as a talk or learning of one anothers past. Get to know her or if you feel as though you know her enough try again and when she agrees to go on a date with you do what you can to make it magical as true love should be. i pray that you truly have found your dream girl as if you have so soon i see you as a wonderful man with a nice wife living a happy life in the bahamas or paris or even the U.S. so i wish you luck in your dreams and desires.

[Vegitto4]

[QUOTE=Charles]Leon begins to realize that this girl only regarded him as a friend and has no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever.

Leon rocks back and forth in a corner sniveling.

Leon realizes how pitiful he has been acting.

Leon collects the small sliver of dignity he has left and moves on before he experiences his first restraining order.

Leon works on his social skills and meets new girls.[/QUOTE]


Hahahaha. That's amazing, and i dont think anyone could have said it better.


I've read like, 3 posts here, because i dont have the time for the whole thread. Comming from expierence(i've asked a girl out once for 2 weeks straight, well, back when i was like 13. trust me, it's pathetic) it wont get you anywhere. Wait it out dude. It sucks, but after highschool, i had 3 girls that i would have killed for, jump at me, and the funny thing is, they jumped at me to late.

[Hanabishi Recca]

Maybe you should just leave her alone.
She doesn't like you. You like her. Let it go.