Manga Symetrically Challenged Feathered Appendaged Celestial Being (One Winged Angel)

[Anqueetus]

So I guess I lay on the line what I've been up to for the last couple of years....well here goes with my manga idea...keep in mind I did it as a joke in College as I hate sci-fis....yet I seem to write them so well...CONFUSION!!!! So on to the story...followed by a light salad....


The Story takes place in the far future of this Universe. Earth has begun colonizing the stars. The technology has reached a point where they can move faster than light. I kind of spoof Star Trek here with the Warp idea...but it makes so much freakin sense...so I quote Alcubierre's theory of warp more than anything, hinting with a bit of the Pfenning theories as well. Anywho, The story starts with a colony ship transporting some colonists to a planet in uncharted space. They joke around of finding "Eden." Mostly because they are tired of the Geopolitical strugles of Colonists and the Corporate corruption of Earth. The ship goes through a strange energy and severly damages it. The energy is explained later.

The ship crash lands on a planet and mostly the children survive. There are huge casualties and all that sad stuff. Eventually the colony thrives once more, and they develope nature friendly technologies (out of reverence to the planet that spared their lives). Memorials of the crash are nerely everywhere. It is a Utopian society, no war, no fighting, no bickering. Everyone working for the betterment of all. A supreme council oversees all events on the planet (lovingly called Aden, mostly because they couldn't remember how to pronounce Eden). In this perticular series, the development of a technology called the Stardrive is being developed by young Alexia (nicknamed Tinker). Her father Markus (wow is that an overly used name...) is a member of the Council that is listening to her go off on the Stardrive. It takes some time, but the council decides to fund the Stardrive. I wanted to get the point across with these people being superstitious about flying in space. Space is dangerous to them...look what happened to their ancestors. Also I wanted the other colonies of earth to be legend and Earth itself a mythical place. Or atleast the Adenites treat it as such.

The first stardrive is placed into the ship called the Skysplitter. It's called Skysplitter because of the effects of the Stardrive. In order for the engine to work it maps out an atom at the location they want to be at. They map out all singularities and abnormalities of an atom, and by quantum mechanics they rossonate an atom with the same properties as the atom as to where they want to go. So in other words, they map an atom where they want to go. By Quantum Mechanics there is an atom near them that is exactly the same...so they connect the two atoms and produce negative energy (Negative Universe) around the atom, causing it to expand. They do it big enough to allow a ship to pass through. And this results in nearly instantaneous teleportation. After all, they are paranoid about space.

The Skysplitter flys off into the unknown and find an alien race (cliff notes version there), and try to communicate. Since I don't believe in universal translators, or aliens ironically speaking the same language, I developed the alternate language here for the aliens. So there is mistranslations all over the place, and the aliens open fire on the Adenites. Eventually the Skysplitter makes it back to Aden heavily damaged. Aden is peaceful, so they don't have any weapons. Alexia is all about peace, but Markus moves the council to prepare for war....just in case.

Warships are made, as are planetary defenses, without Alexia's approval (can we see the main character yet). Eventually a warship is housed with freshly trained marines and fighter pilots. They set out to "aggressivly" negotiate a peace treaty between Aden and whoever they are. The Warship David (named after one off the remaining adult colonists to survive the crash) sets out with the Stardrive as its engine. They arrive at the location the Skysplitter dropped out of. The ship David finds a lost colony of Earth (HOLY CRAP!!!), and procedes to investigate. When they arrive on the planet, the technology is so primitive.

They find out that these people worship gods, and that the gods demand on sacrifice every year. And my brain is slowly going down hill...so let's speed this up..

Earth is the Gods, using humans to keep up with their technology using genetic enhancements. They developed nano technology so far that they can hack matter, so long as their fortitude can handle it. Aden finds a remenant (an Earthling forsaking all that is Earth) and use her help to stage an offenssive against Earth. She takes them to a place where they can get information on a weapons powerful enough to fight against Earth. They find a geneticist who has a map in his dna. The Adenites use this map to find the Planet of the Magi.

On this planet the people developed communication towers and such powerful enough to blast between the dimensions. So they communicate transdimensionally. Moving right along, Alexia undergoes the ritual of a Summoner (couldn't think of a better term), so that she could be an ambassador between the Alien race in the other dimension, the Magi, and the Adenites. All in all, I have Gods, vampires, Werewolfs, and Wizards...

I explain how all these things are possible, but suffice it to say, my brain decided to cerplotz, and now I am speed typing for the sake of getting this post over with. I'll have concept drawings up.....sometime...I hope... I am well aware of the many spoofs and rips I've done....granted there really isn't anything new under the sun...just a different prettier package...

I also have character bios to help explain the characters better... I can post that later...just my brain...ug....need more sleep...Kids, don't have babies until you are 68....and not young...like me....

[Chikara Kokoro]

When I first saw this title I thought it would be a Sephiroth doujinshi. Be warned that my sadness over that this isn?t might come through in my critique :p

It sounds like an intriguing story, but I hope you don?t over-explain the parodies when you create the manga. Yet it works here since you can?t show when you?re kidding through facial expressions or anything. In this instance the comments are quite welcome.

This is a creative parody in my mind, but it might be my inner ?Brave New World? and ?The Giver? fangirl speaking. The name Aden is great. With little touches like that throughout the story you?ll definitely be much better off than others.

That whole paragraph about how the stardrive works bored me so much. I sincerely hope that you aren?t planning on explaining that in the manga. It would be much better, in my opinion, if you kept most of the pseudo-science facts to yourself.

I am so glad that the whole ?universal translator? thing bothers other people. I?m imagining the people walking around with a dictionary while talking to these aliens, but that?s probably not what?s going on. It just seems strange to me. Would the aliens have already met other humans?

How are the Adenites making all of these warships if they?re using only ?nature friendly technologies?? It seems strange that a community like that would be so technologically advanced.

[quote name='Anqueetus']Earth is the Gods, using humans to keep up with their technology using genetic enhancements. They developed nano technology so far that they can hack matter, so long as their fortitude can handle it.[/quote]
You lost me. I just don?t understand what you?re trying to say. Is the soul of planet Earth a god? You said before that these people from Earth had privative technology. Do you mean it seems privative in comparison to that of the Adenites? Because in comparison to our world it still sounds far ahead in technological terms. That just confused me and could do with some explaining.

You had me with this idea until you mentioned all of the different races on the Planet of the Magi. It is just a very overdone idea. Maybe it?s just done a lot in the things I read, but it is done quite a bit nonetheless.

For the most part this is a good idea, but there are some parts that seem to lapse into being way too much sci-fi for my tastes. At the beginning it was clearly a parody, yet over the course of your description you seemed to get more and more serious about it. Is the whole thing really a parody?

[Anqueetus]

As for this being a true paradoy.... I'm not sure.... There were elements about the story I thought were unique, turns out I was a moron and ripped really hard.....

But on to the questions followed by a light salad....

First thing's first, good god I refuse to divulge the Pseudo-Science crap. Let's get one thing straight here...I loathe sci-fis...I can't stand to read sci-fis....yet I wrote one....crap. Let me tell y'all a story. I'm a huge Star Trek fan...one day I saws me a Technical Manual for the USS NCC 1701 D Enterprise. I squeeled and bought the book. I read it from cover to cover...it's collecting dust now because I hate Sci-fis....So, be happy in knowing that I have no global aspirations for Presidency or to divulge the inner workings of my Technology lest someone wants to buy the book at a latter date...

Number two, I used Nature friendly technologies mostly because of the influence of my dorm mate...He was a physics major coming out of pre-med. He told me that we have a lot of technologies that are not "nature friendly." For example, the Endocrine system metabolizes energy because the hydrogen atoms in it are loosley bound. Those atoms can have an extra electron or two without upsetting its natural properties. But it can only metabolize negative ions. Cement is positivly ionized, as is Low Level Elctric frequencies emmited by computers...or something like that. I took that in heart and decided that Aden would completly devoid itself of harmful technologies not only for the enviroment and its peoples. I think that made sense...

Number three, infact the Aliens have met Humans before. Language was one of my strong points in school. I know Sumerian, Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Ancient Egyptian, Japanese, and a bit of Welsh...but that was for kicks. In the language of the aliens (whom are called the Kortanak) they call humans the Suniak. Ak kind of akin to biped, but nothing really close in our language to get the same feel. Suni means agressor, or hatred, depending on the context. So Suniak would mean the Agressive people. I used that term because long ago when Earth was colonizing other planets, they were actually kicking alien races off of their home planets. Hence the Suniak.

Number four, I use Earth as a term to collectivly mean the people who origionated or inhabit said planet. So Earth attacked this place means, Earthlings attacked this place with the blessing of the planets ruling class.

Now my personal favourite....the Magi. In college I would always make fun of the meat heads...otherwise known as Football players...about their back up degree. Almost everyone of them, if asked, said they were majoring in communications...oh the sham degree... So I thought, what good would a degree in communications do? Well in my story, those people with communications and engineering in their repitoire went off to another planet and created huge communication towers. Instead of using the normal conducting elements that we use, they used superconductive elements. As a result they were able to communicate with transdimensional beings. Thus the great wizards were born when they learned that using some of our native energies allowed for those creatures on the otherside to come into our world, if but for a moment. And here we come to our FF X spoof with the summoners. You must be trained in the rights of a Summoner, and gain the favor of your summon before they will come to your aide....blah blah blah.

Now to the serious question...I don't know if this is a parady or not...it was just something me and the ol college mates were fooling around with. I watched Vandred and thought Earth being such a bastard was awesome...played FF X and thought summoning and magic was cool...love Stargate, etcetera ad infinitum. So I'm not quite sure how this is going to work...just go with what I have, I guess...

[Chikara Kokoro]

Nice to see you've developed this idea. It would be nice to see what the characters look just for reference. I'm kind of curious of what your image of this world is.

As for not being able to tell whether or not a story is a parody anymore, I've been there. You should probably just keep some elements of a parody throughout the manga, but for the most part just go with the story that you have and enjoy it. Genre classifications don't matter that much (I could be wrong, though).