Manga Ladybug Manga idea

[Guest ladybug]

I'm new here and this is my little manga idea. I just want to know if this is a good idea and to see what I need to work on. I'm still working out the kinks and stuff. If you want to see a short list of the characters just ask

Ok here it go:

Ayana Delacroix was born in the year of 2002 in a small town in the deep, dark bayous of Louisiana. The inhabitants of the town are actually members of an Egyptian cult, Anok-Un-Ka. Apparently she was born on the day when a ?vessel that will carry the fury and spirit of Sekhmet and will help Set rise from his eternal prison? Ayana was less than a day old when her mother, who was one of the High Priestesses (Helena Delacroix), prepared her child to become the vessel for Sekhmet. As the High priest was performing the ceremony, Logan O? Conner (Demon Slayer and Ayana?s father) stopped the ceremony from finishing. After the long tiresome battle, it was over and the baby was safe. And the Anok-Un-Ka vanished

However, Logan wasn?t sure if the demonic spirit was inside of his baby. Logan took the baby to a Sage who confirmed that the demonic spirit is inside of the baby but it is dormant. He decided to spare the child hoping that the baby?s soul can keep the demon spirit in check Logan knew that he can?t keep his child because of his ?occupation.? He took her to a city named Skye and left her in the hands of his priest, Father Viktor of St. Jonas Cathedral. The priest adopted the tiny baby and took care of her as if she was his own.

The baby, christen Imani Stewart, grew up to be a strong and athletic teenager without the knowledge of who she is and what she has inside of her. The demon within her never awakens and she was a normal teenager. Until 2019 when she turned 17 she started having nightmares, headaches, and uncontrollable fits. It was thought to be contributing from stress but it wasn?t that simple. One night, Imani (or Ayana) woke up in the middle of the night in horrible pain. She felt something inside of trying to take over. Father Viktor heard her screams and ran to her room and saw that she was not in it. Deep inside something told him to go to the church.

When he got there he saw Imani shaking and growling violently at the alter, there was a dark aura surrounding her. At first he thought she was posses but then he quickly realized it was the demon inside of her awakening. He crept up behind her start chanting holy incarnations. She started convulsing violently and then she finally passed out.

When Imani (or Ayana) woke up, her body was not the same. Her eyes were not her ordinary chestnut brown but an eerie purple and light-bluish color. Her fingernails looked like small claws and she had small fangs. And she had a weird scaring on her back. Not only did her body change, but her senses were enhanced. Father Viktor explained to her what happened to her and her past. The demoic spirit was preparing Ayana's body for it awakening.

At first she stays at the Cathedral but the other clergymen and nuns looked at her as something wicked. One priest openly protest against her stay here, in fact, he wanted to ?cleanse? her out of existence. His argument was that she is inherently evil. Father Viktor tried to plead with the others but they didn?t want to hear any of it. Confused, hurt, and angry she ran away and left the city. To her she was alone and she has to fend for herself.

During the years of her disappearance, she went to many places and did many things to hone her skills. She found out her strength, reflexes, stamina, speed, and healing were superior than the normal human. She also has an innate ability to fight incredibility. At age 21 she became a bounty hunter. This is also the time when she learns about the occult and demons and stuff like that. She sees this as a profitable venture and became a bounty hunter/demon slayer for hired.

Plotline

Ayana now 23 (she goes by her birth name now) comes back Skye City because of a job. Until she heard a disturbance at a local church. When she gets there she quickly found out that the ?disturbance? was a very powerful soldier demon. Soldier demons are very rare and they usually have ties to a cult. After she killed it, she saw a symbol on its back that she seen before, it was the symbol of the Anok-Un-Ka.

Now she and her ?sidekick? Kalea, goes on a search trying to figure out why the Anok-Un-Ka reappeared after all these years and what are their plans. She quickly realized that the Anok-Un-Ka is not an ordinary cult. She also finds out that the cult have a strange interest in a young man name Alonzo. She?s trying to do this while keeping her bounty hunting job and trying to catch things from the occult.

[Chikara Kokoro]

Your name choice and your choice of location have to be my favorite things in this idea. The last name Delacroix is just so good for demonic irony. I don?t read all that many comics, that?s true, but I have never read anything set in Louisiana, which is a shame since it?s so pretty and marshy.

The main thing that irks me is that a cult in Louisiana would be Egyptian. Why? As far as I know, most of the population in Louisiana is centered around some variation of French culture. Maybe you could change it to a scary French voodoo cult? Although, it would be kind of scary try to portray voodoo in a manga. I guess that depends on how superstitious of a person you are.

To be perfectly honest, the rest of the plot summary confuses me, so for now that?s about all I can give you in terms of a critique. I?m sorry, but I hope it can help.