Writing Silver One

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom']So post some more so I can find out just which one it is. ;)[/quote]As requested, here's the next chapter. I'm glad you've been enjoying reading it and I appreciate your comments. ^_~



[B]Chapter Twenty-one: [/B]

Nathan set his hand-held device down; he had finished writing the program to make the Commander think Jason and Celestia had left the ship. Celestia?s program had been easier to modify than he had originally thought. At the last possible moment he would upload the program into the ships computer so it could make use of the ships own projectors to support the hologram. It would only fool them briefly but it would last long enough for them to be picked up by the ship waiting for them and make their escape.

Nathan sighed. He only hoped that Anna wouldn?t be to hurt when she found out he was a member of the resistance. It was a good thing no one knew about Daniel. He had heard that Daniel had been assigned his own command. If it were ever found out he was his father it wouldn?t matter if Daniel was a member or not. High Command was very unforgiving towards families who had members in the resistance. The fact that most of them were unaware of it didn?t matter to members of the High Command. Nathan started getting ready for bed, now that they had actually left Earth they would arrive in sector fourteen in just two days. He needed to be ready when the time came.

Jason couldn?t help but feel uneasy as Jared was escorting him and Celestia to their quarters. Jared had left him alone after the brief incident when he was assigned to the new quarters, but today he seemed different to Jason. Was it because they had left Earth a short while ago to head to the next system? Jason hoped so. He didn?t want to think it was because Jared was planning to do something to him.

When Celestia had entered her quarters and the door locked behind her Jared told him to come with him as they had something to discuss. Jason cringed at the thought but did as he was told. When Jared opened the door to another set of quarters Jason hesitated as a feeling of dread filled him. Jared didn?t give him a chance to do anything as he shoved Jason into the room and when the door closed behind them he grabbed Jason from behind wrapping his left arm around his neck choking him!

Jason reached up with both hands forgetting in his panic that Jared had threatened to hurt Celestia if he resisted. Frantically he tried to pull free of Jared?s grip but he was far too strong. Jason gasped as he felt something sting his right hip. What had Jared done to him? In the next moment Jared wrapped his other arm around Jason?s chest pinning him against him. Jason thrashed madly trying to pull free. He thought he had been afraid before, this was ten times worse! Part of him remembered Celestia but it was overwhelmed by the other part of him that was panicking.

He began to feel faint from Jared choking him, and as he also began to feel dizzy he realized Jared must have drugged him. Jason tried but found he couldn?t even hold his arms up anymore. As the drugs continued to rob him of the ability to resist he found he couldn?t even stand anymore. Jason cried inwardly in his mind, wishing, hoping it was just a dream and yet knowing it was not.

Jared whispered in Jason right ear, ?[B]How do you like it? By now you must be starting to feel the effects of what I gave you.[/B]?

Jason shuddered as the whisper set off goose bumps through his whole body. It was the thing he had feared most. Jared had given him one of the drugs they had used during his interrogation. The one that because of how it stimulated you he would have rather died than be anywhere near Jared while under it?s effect.

Jared continued, ?[B]I?ve improved upon the formula used for interrogations. Rest assured I?ll be sure to demonstrate.[/B]?

Jason wished he were dead. He couldn?t even resist as Jared carried him into his bedroom. Jason couldn?t stop the tears that flowed down his cheeks as Jared started to remove his clothing.

Sandra had barely lain down to sleep when the console beeped indicating there was an incoming transmission for her. She sat up and turned it on. It was Commander Daniel and his sub-commander Kim. They appeared to be in sickbay.

?[B]Ah Commander Sandra,[/B]? Daniel spoke. ?[B]Sorry to disturb your rest but I have something important to tell you. I?ll send you the details but first you?ll want to secure this channel.[/B]?

Sandra raised her eyebrow but did as Daniel requested. Once the report he sent was downloaded into her hand held device she took a few moments to read through it. Daniel waited patiently while she read the report.

Sandra finished reading and said, ?[B]I see, interesting. Go ahead and start searching for the base. I had suspected that we have a traitor on board, but there hasn?t been any concrete proof.[/B]? Sandra sighed and continued. ?[B]Keep in contact as I may need your help in exposing the traitor.[/B]?

Daniel replied, ?[B]Yes Commander.[/B]?

Sandra shut down the transmission and got out of bed. Regretfully this would have to come before sleep. Based on Daniel?s report it was highly likely that the resistance had planned on either leaving something for the resistance ship to pick up or they might have even thought of a way to attempt to get Celestia and Jason off the ship. Based on what was in the files they recovered it was likely that the traitor on board her ship was an officer. Security was tight. Only an officer would have the necessary clearance to be able to pull it off.

For them to have known the precise location and time they would be arriving in sector fourteen meant it could only be one of ten people who had that information. Eleven if you included Nathan. He wasn?t an officer but he had the information, security clearance and the skills to have pulled it off. Sandra opened a link to Jared?s quarters. She knew he had planned on entertaining himself with Jason for a while, but this was more important.

Jared heard the beeping of the console in the main room indicating he had an incoming transmission. Jared sighed, of all the times to be bothered! The drugs he had given to Jason and himself had finally started working in full force. He had been enjoying himself and was on the verge of making Jason his. Reluctantly he got up and went into the next room to answer the call. Jared had a reputation for what he did to others when he was annoyed. So he knew that no one would bother him unless it was really important. He turned the screen on to see that it was Commander Sandra. She raised her eyebrow when he appeared on the screen, as Jared had not even bothered to get dressed.

?[B]Ah Jared, It pains me to interrupt you. Read this report I?m sending you. Be sure to secure the transmission at your end first.[/B]? Jared was puzzled but did as he was told. He sat down in front of the terminal, not because he cared if the Commander saw him naked but because the drugs made him feel just a tiny bit dizzy. When he finished reading the report he knew that his fun with Jason would have to wait. This was far more important.

?[B]I understand Commander, I?ll get to work on this immediately.[/B]?

Jared shut down the transmission and immediately gave himself an antidote to the drugs. As much as he hated postponing making Jason his, this had to come first. Jared sighed, at least he had gotten to have some fun. It was almost maddening how things kept interfering with his plans for Jason. Never had he been thwarted so many times in getting what he wanted! It was a good thing he had other diversions or he would be seriously angry. Still the chance to catch a resistance member was in itself quite thrilling. He hadn?t had the pleasure of a full interrogation in a long time. Jared smiled. He would find the traitor and when he was finished with them, they would beg him to kill them.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

Quite the interesting chapter that one. Poor Jason. And I?m curious to see how you write the next part as here:[quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue']It would only fool them briefly but it would last long enough for them to be picked up by the ship waiting for them and make their escape. [/COLOR][/quote]The ship in question has already been destroyed. So I?m curious to see how you resolve this.

Also, I sense a foreshadowing here: [quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue]For them to have known the precise location and time they would be arriving in sector fourteen meant it could only be one of ten people who had that information. Eleven if you included Nathan. [/COLOR][/QUOTE]As Nathan is listed as one of the few who could be involved and you?ve also stated this: [QUOTE=SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue']Still the chance to catch a resistance member was in itself quite thrilling. He hadn?t had the pleasure of a full interrogation in a long time. Jared smiled. He would find the traitor and when he was finished with them, they would beg him to kill them. [/COLOR][/quote]Considering how you are developing Jared?s character I feel sorry for Nathan already. Don?t keep me waiting too long! I?m wishing this was a book I had in my hands so I could continue reading and didn?t have to wait. ;)

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom'] Don?t keep me waiting too long! I?m wishing this was a book I had in my hands so I could continue reading and didn?t have to wait. ;)[/quote]Very well, here?s the next chapter as requested. ^_~ Fair warning though, things are going to get a little more serious from now on.



[B]Chapter twenty-two:[/B]


Jason couldn?t believe it. After Jared left the room for a little bit he came back got dressed, wrapped him in a blanket, picked him up and carried him to his quarters. He was even more surprised when Jared put him in his bed and just covered him with another blanket and left. Jason was confused. What had just happened? He tried to figure it out while he waited for the drugs to finally wear off. Although he was relieved, he wondered what had been in the transmission Jared received. What could have been so important that it would stop Jared from finishing what he had started?

Whatever it was it had saved him, if only for now, from being raped by Jared. Though it hadn?t saved him from the initial foreplay Jared had put him through. Jason cringed at the memory of it. How could he face Celestia again? Now he understood why women were so hurt by being raped. He was pretty sure he loved Celestia. He was also pretty sure he had always cared for her; he just hadn?t said anything yet. Now he wished he had. If Jared had his way he would never be allowed to be with her. And he didn?t want anyone other than her to touch him in that way. Jason curled up on his side and cried himself to sleep.

Celestia couldn?t sleep. Her mind kept racing and she couldn?t stop from feeling a sense of dread. She had thought she had seen Jared looking rather smug, but she couldn?t be certain. She was afraid for Jason and yet she wondered if her feeling was connected to the fact that they had left Earth earlier that day. Celestia curled up on the sofa and sighed. She had known that they would finally leave Earth but some small part of her had hoped she would return home and now she was being taken away from Earth.

It hurt in a way she couldn?t describe. Celestia couldn?t stop the tears that escaped and ran down her cheeks. No, if she was honest with herself, what really hurt was being kept apart from Jason. She wondered if she has always felt more than just attraction to him. She had worked with him for over three years and for two of them she had done nothing about how she truly felt. Now she would never get the chance, Jared would see to that. Celestia had never felt so powerless before. She desperately wanted to somehow protect Jason but knew she could not.

It had taken almost two days but Jared had finally narrowed it down to three possibilities. They would be arriving in sector fourteen in just a few hours. His instinct told him it was Nathan but he couldn?t rule out the other two possibilities. Jared sent a request to an old friend located at High Command. One he had recruited to spy for him. He wanted Nathan?s background checked completely. If there was anything to be found he wanted to know about it. For now he had to continue to assume it could be any of the three suspects.

It was tempting to just pull them all in, but at the same time if they thought he suspected them the traitor would commit suicide before he could get to them. Members of the resistance always committed suicide given a chance. No he had to find out for sure and capture them before they could commit suicide. Nathan was supposed to be taking the shuttle out to start the scan. Somehow he couldn?t imagine him escaping and leaving Celestia and Jason behind. If he had only been planning on passing information along to the ship that had been destroyed, it would be the perfect opportunity as the new scanning could be used to cover additional transmissions. Jared smiled; he knew just what to do.

Nathan couldn?t stop his heart from pounding as he maneuvered the shuttlecraft from the hangar bay. Celestia and Jason didn?t have a clue as to what was going on and the hologram of them leaving the ship had worked. In just two minutes he would be in position to make a run for the ship that was suppose to be waiting for them. In all his years working as a member of the resistance never had he felt such fear. If it didn?t work he would have to shoot both Celestia and Jason before taking his own life. The next two minutes felt like an eternity as he went through the motions of having Celestia and Jason help him start scanning the system. He sent out the recognition signal for the ship that should be waiting for them. In just a few seconds he would have his answer.

Nathan never got to see if there was a reply to the transmission. Nor did he see the laser blast that caught him from behind and sent him sprawling to the floor half stunned. He could hear Celestia?s and Jason?s gasp of horror. And as he heard footsteps coming towards him, he knew who it was without even looking. He had failed. As Jared came into view he bit down on the poison capsule that he had attached to his back tooth earlier that day.

?[B]I?m sorry[/B],? he whispered to Celestia and Jason as darkness took over his vision.

Celestia couldn?t believe what was happening! Why did Jared shoot Nathan? Something inside her snapped. After all this time, being a prisoner, being tortured and hurt by Jared, seeing Jason?s terrified expression as Jared walked towards Nathan. She found she couldn?t hold it in. With a scream of rage she attacked Jared! She was still holding some of the instruments she had been using to monitor the scanning and she lashed out with them hitting Jared as hard as she could.

When Celestia attacked him, Jared was so surprised that she actually managed to hit him several times before he calmly backhanded her sending her flying across the room to slam into a wall before falling to the floor unconscious. He could feel blood running down the left side of his face. She had actually managed to cut the skin in his scalp when she had hit him with the scanner! He was further surprised when he was then shot by Jason with a laser gun! He must have gotten it from Nathan!

It was a good thing Jason didn?t understand how to use the laser gun. If he had realized that he was wearing a combat suit underneath his uniform he would have shot him in the head. Jared didn?t give Jason a second chance. He calmly shot him in the right arm causing the gun he was holding to go flying. Jared couldn?t believe it when Jason rushed him anyway. He fired again but other than to make him stagger the light stun setting had no effect!

Jared didn?t have a chance to fire again before Jason slammed into him knocking both of them to the floor. At that point Jared realized that Jason had gone berserk like Celestia had. He ignored the attempts by Jason to throttle him and reset the weapon to the highest stun setting. He then fired point blank at Jason?s chest. The blast threw Jason backwards off Jared to land on the shuttlecraft?s main control console before sliding to the floor unconscious. He got up and retrieved the laser gun and put it away.

He turned his attention back to Nathan even though he was sure Nathan had committed suicide, but he checked to make sure. A quick scan confirmed his suspicions. Jared sighed. All that work and the traitor had managed to escape being interrogated after all. He had been looking forward to prying information out of him. Since resistance members were known to poison themselves he had brought a broad-spectrum antidote but the sudden attack by both Celestia and Jason had prevented him from delivering the remedy in time. It was too late now. He went over to the ships console and contacted the Commander to deliver the news.

Daniel couldn?t believe it! Nathan was working for the resistance? He had poisoned himself to prevent capture? Of all the possible scenarios he had never imagined that Nathan had left his mother to join the resistance. Did his mother know? How could he even tell her that Nathan was dead? Daniel felt torn, he may not have liked Nathan but his mother had. It would break her heart all over again to hear he had died. Damn it all! Daniel threw the hand-held device with the report against the wall shattering it. He would have no choice but to tell her and he would have to inform Commander Sandra as well as it would implicate both him and his mother. Especially if they found out he knew they had known each other and he had said nothing.

Daniel got up and started pacing in his quarters before sighing and sitting back down again. He had worked so hard to become a commander, and now because of Nathan?s foolish actions he might actually lose his position. Daniel knew the rules; he would be subjected to interrogation. They would use drugs to make sure he was telling the truth. High Command would then decide if he was truly innocent or not.

Daniel called sub-commander Kim to surrender command to her. The sooner he got this show on the road the sooner he could return to work. He wanted to contact his mother, but he changed his mind, as he knew he could not. It would be seen as him warning her to escape. Regretfully he would have to leave that to someone else. They would interrogate her as well and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue'] Fair warning though, things are going to get a little more serious from now on. [/COLOR][/quote]Poor Nathan. I was afraid you were going to do something like that. I just wasn?t sure if Jared was going to catch him or if you were going to kill him off, or if you were going to find some other way for them to escape. *Pinches Beth* I guess I?m just a sucker for the more happy go lucky story where everyone survives and the bad guy is taken care of. Though I suppose that must be for a later chapter right? ;)

I was thinking that a miraculous escape was what I would have liked to see, and at the same time I was thinking that having them actually manage to escape after the ship had been destroyed would have been far to predictable and clichéd. And now that Jared knows Nathan was a member of the resistance well based on what you wrote in a previous chapter: [quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue']He was just glad that no one had discovered that he had erased the files and made it look like someone else was Daniel?s father. He had taken the file of an officer who knew Anna who had died during a skirmish between the military and the resistance and placed his information in the files indicating he had been the genetic donor and was therefore Daniel?s father. Nathan was pretty sure Anna knew, but she had never disputed the records and kept the fact that Daniel was his son a secret. His only regret if he should die was that he wouldn?t get the chance to tell Anna how sorry he was for lying to her all these years.[/COLOR][/quote]I just know Jared is going to find out. After all if they question Daniel?s mother and use drugs, she knows the truth. So should I now be saying poor Daniel & Anna? Especially since you?ve been painting a picture of a government that has no mercy towards people who know members of the resistance?

Anyway, that was certainly a very long chapter. I really liked how you went through several of the main characters giving the reader a glance into what each of them was thinking before getting to the main event of this chapter. It definitely gave a sense of impending doom. Especially the part where Jared was feeling rather smug with himself, at that point I had no doubt that things were going to go horribly wrong for Nathan, Jason and Celestia. So keep up the good work. ;)

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom'] I just know Jared is going to find out. After all if they question Daniel?s mother and use drugs, she knows the truth. So should I now be saying poor Daniel & Anna? Especially since you?ve been painting a picture of a government that has no mercy towards people who know members of the resistance? [/quote]The answer to your question is...[spoiler][B]YES![/B][/spoiler] I won't say any more though as I don't want to spoil it for you. [spoiler][B]Cackles evilly[/B][/spoiler][/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom]Poor Nathan. I was afraid you were going to do something like that. I just wasn?t sure if Jared was going to catch him or if you were going to kill him off, or if you were going to find some other way for them to escape. *Pinches Beth* I guess I?m just a sucker for the more happy go lucky story where everyone survives and the bad guy is taken care of. Though I suppose that must be for a later chapter right? ;)[/QUOTE]Truthfully his death was planned from the very beginning. So no happy go lucky everyone survives story. ^_~ As for what?s in the later chapters, well that would be telling. :p [QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom]Anyway, that was certainly a very long chapter. I really liked how you went through several of the main characters giving the reader a glance into what each of them was thinking before getting to the main event of this chapter. It definitely gave a sense of impending doom. Especially the part where Jared was feeling rather smug with himself, at that point I had no doubt that things were going to go horribly wrong for Nathan, Jason and Celestia. So keep up the good work. ;)[/QUOTE]That?s good to know as that?s exactly the effect I was aiming for, a sense of impending doom. I don?t think I got it as effectively as I would have liked. But I?m still glad to hear that I at least partially got it. [QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom] I just know Jared is going to find out. After all if they question Daniel?s mother and use drugs, she knows the truth. So should I now be saying poor Daniel & Anna? Especially since you?ve been painting a picture of a government that has no mercy towards people who know members of the resistance? [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=indifference][COLOR=DarkRed]The answer to your question is...[spoiler][B]YES![/B][/spoiler] I won't say any more though as I don't want to spoil it for you. [spoiler][B]Cackles evilly[/B][/spoiler'][/COLOR][/quote]Crystia! [Insert whiny voice here] Stop that! [Pinches her!] :p

I definitely don?t want to spoil it for you so how about I distract you with the next chapter Kathy? ^_~



[B]
Chapter twenty-three:[/B]


Jared entered the sickbay. ?[B]Ah doctor, there you are. How are your patients doing?[/B]? He asked.

Crystal turned to face Jared and motioned him over to the observation window. ?[B]See for yourself[/B],? she said. ?[B]I?ve repaired the hairline fracture in Celestia?s skull and the fractures in Jason?s ribs.[/B]? Crystal sighed. ?[B]For future reference Jared, you might want to use a little less force the next time you need to restrain them.[/B]? Crystal finished, a touch of exasperation entering her voice.

Jared answered, ?[B]Understood doctor, I?ll remember that. Is Daniel ready for questioning yet?[/B]?

Crystal turned to Jared ignoring his question for a moment while she scanned the left side of his head. Jared waited patiently for her answer. The doctor finished and put the scanner away.

?[B]Looks like you have healed up nicely as well,[/B]? she paused and then continued. ?[B]It?s only been five days since he was initially injured. At this rate he will be completely healed in another two to four days. I realize that it?s already been two days since the incident but the newly grown rib needs a little more time to set permanently. And since he is only under suspicion, I cannot clear him for immediate questioning just yet.[/B]?

Crystal walked over and into her office. Jared followed her. Crystal continued once the door had shut. ?[B]Sub-Commander, you know I would not deliberately delay your investigation. I know that his mother is being questioned as well. Since the initial questions and drug induced investigation takes around six days, if he is still not ready when they are finished with her I will personally oversee the use of the serum. I will have to adjust the dose to match his current rate of recovery. Is that acceptable?[/B]? She finished.

Jared replied, ?[B]Perfectly doctor. I have one other question for you though. Why are you keeping the three of them in the same room?[/B]?

The doctor replied, ?[B]It seems that Daniel is the type to over exert himself when he needs to be recovering. I?ve taken the liberty of keeping him sedated to allow his body to recover more quickly. Besides I didn?t want to tie up three rooms just to keep them locked in.[/B]?

Crystal tapped her chin with her forefinger deep in thought for a moment. She looked up and said, ?[B]One more thing Sub-Commander. I?ve finished the research regarding Celestia and Jason?s genetic structure. I can perform the genetic enhancements as soon as they finish recovering. It would improve their health and increase their lifespan. I thought I would start with Jason and once he started responding then I would do the same for Celestia. The only drawback is that I would need to keep them here in sickbay for two to four weeks to monitor and fine-tune the process. I?ve informed the Commander but she has left the final decision up to you.[/B]?

Jared thought about it for a minute before answering the doctor. He didn?t like the idea of waiting so long to finish what he had started with Jason, yet if he were realistic the investigation of Daniel?s crew, his family and even his interrogation would easily take several weeks if not months. Jared smiled. It would be hard to wait but if he underwent the modifications then Jason would be able to endure much more than he had originally planned. He had deliberately held back but just the idea that he wouldn?t have to be so reserved thrilled him.

Jared made up his mind, ?[B]Go ahead with the modifications, and be sure to inform me the minute Daniel is ready as well as when Jason is.[/B]?

Crystal bowed her head and said, ?[B]Of course Sub-Commander.[/B]? Jared turned and left sickbay.

When Celestia had first woken up and found herself in sickbay she found that her head hurt so bad she couldn?t move. Other than to see that Jason was in a bed next to hers she couldn?t see very much. It looked like there was someone else in the bed next to Jason, but she couldn?t sit up to see. At first Celestia had been confused as she drifted in and out of sleep for what seemed like an eternity. When she finally started feeling more awake she realized that the confusion was from only hearing part of several conversations from some of the medical personal. It didn't take long for the pieces to be put together though as the medical staff was buzzing with the gossip of the most recent events surrounding her and Jason.

They probably didn't realize it, but shortly after her and Jason had been brought on board they had been put through a speed learning language program to teach them the Versilan?s language. So they probably didn't realize that she could understand them. She may have understood them but she still relied on the translator that was fastened to her clothing as she worried about missing out on key information since she was new to the language. In fact she still had worked a lot in English but she knew enough to understand what they were saying. Nathan was dead. He apparently had been trying to escape with her and Jason. If she understood the medical personal correctly, Jared had found out and that was why he shot Nathan.

But it wasn?t the shot that killed him. Nathan had somehow poisoned himself when he realized that Jared had found out. It seemed that just like her dreams of the Versilan?s being real, so were the ones about there being a resistance group. Celestia drifted back to sleep.

Jason used the controls on the bed to change it so he was in a sitting position. It had been two days since he woke up in sickbay. The doctor had treated him for some broken ribs he had gotten when he attacked Jared. He hadn?t meant to attack him, but when he had seen Celestia slam into the wall after being hit by Jared something inside him had snapped. He had grabbed the laser gun from Nathan and shot him. And even after Jared shot his arm causing him to drop the weapon he had attacked him directly. He had felt such rage and anger when Jared had hurt Celestia that it had surprised him.

Jason sighed. Too bad he had failed to actually kill him. He didn?t even know how to properly use the laser gun so he had been unable to make sure it was on a setting that would have killed Jared. The first chance he got he had asked the doctor about Celestia. Fortunately she was going to be just fine. What worried him now was what Jared would do to them once they recovered. Jason shuddered. Somehow Jared didn?t strike him as the forgiving type. The door to the room opened and Jason looked up to see the doctor entering the room.

?[B]How are you feeling Jason?[/B]? She asked with a smile.

?[B]Okay I guess,[/B]? Jason replied. The doctor came over and ran a scanner over Jason. She finished and put it away.

?[B]I want you to come with me,[/B]? She paused at the panicked look on Jason?s face. ?[B]Relax, I intend to enhance your genetic structure to more closely match ours. It will make you stronger, healthier and more importantly increase your lifespan so you?ll live longer like we do. I?ll be doing the same to Celestia once she recovers a bit more. I?ll be keeping you both here in sickbay for the next month until the process is complete. If you like I?ll let you both continue to stay in the same room, okay?[/B]?

Jason hesitated and asked, ?[B]What about this guy?[/B]? Indicating the Versilan in the bed next to his.

Crystal replied, ?[B]Don?t worry about him. He?s only in here for a few more days and then I?ll be moving him to another room.[/B]? She smiled. ?[B]I only locked him in here as he tends to ignore orders to recover and doesn?t rest like he should.[/B]? She turned to leave and Jason got up and followed her.

Celestia overheard the doctor speaking to Jason as she woke up. By the time she woke up enough to open her eyes they had already left. Her head finally seemed to feel better so she used the bed controls to put herself in a more upright position, though not completely up. Now she would finally be able to see who was in the other bed! Who ever it was they were asleep. A blanket covered him but his face was turned towards her.

Celestia was surprised! He looked just like a younger version of Nathan! Admittedly Nathan?s hair had been completely silver gray, but the round shaped face, small nose and full lips were almost identical. Celestia wondered if Nathan?s hair had once been reddish brown like his. Maybe they were father and son? It would certainly explain why they looked so similar.

Celestia looked away for a moment and then turned back. He certainly looked exactly like the one in her dreams named Daniel. Was he the same one? If they had been on Earth was it possible she had met him as a child and simply didn?t remember?[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[QUOTE=SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue]Celestia had been confused and drifted in and out of sleep for what seemed like an eternity. When she finally started feeling more awake she overheard some of the medical personal speaking.

Shortly after her and Jason had been brought on board they had been subjected to some type of forced language program to teach them the Versilan?s language.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]Excellent work on the current chapter. Just a suggestion on the sentence regarding Celestia, the wording is a bit confusing, as saying she [I]had been confused[/I] doesn?t explain [I]why she was confused[/I]. So I?m thinking it could use some work or rewording to clarify it.

Also when you say forced language program? Are you referring to some type of enhanced or perhaps speed learning? Forced just doesn?t really seem to make sense here.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom]Excellent work on the current chapter. Just a suggestion on the sentence regarding Celestia, the wording is a bit confusing, as saying she [I]had been confused[/I] doesn?t explain [I]why she was confused[/I]. So I?m thinking it could use some work or rewording to clarify it.

Also when you say forced language program? Are you referring to some type of enhanced or perhaps speed learning? Forced just doesn?t really seem to make sense here.[/QUOTE]Thanks, I hadn?t noticed that. So I went back and completely re-wrote that section. So let me know what you think. ^_~



[B]Chapter twenty-four:[/B]


Daniel felt strange as he started to wake up. He sat up slowly holding his hands in his head. That?s right. When he had surrendered command to Kim and turned himself over to Commander Sandra he had been brought to their sickbay by the guards and Doctor Crystal after examining him had lectured him about taking better care of himself. She had not even asked him but immediately administered what he thought was a sedative as he didn?t even remember being put in a bed. How long had he been out? Daniel turned to hop off the bed and froze in place when he realized he wasn?t alone. There were two other beds and the one farther away from him was occupied.

For a moment he was speechless when their eyes met. She looked exactly like one of the humans he had known when he was assigned to Earth. But it just wasn?t possible! He had worked with Nathan there around twenty years ago, but he had actually already been working on Earth for seven years before Nathan had been assigned to work there with him. Had it already been that long? If the earthling he knew was still alive she would look much older instead of looking the same. They aged much quicker than they did. Besides. She had died shortly after Nathan had arrived. By the time he found out she had died, her daughter had already been placed in an orphanage.

He had not even tried to find the orphanage, as he couldn?t take the child with him. Even if he had liked her mother, it just wasn?t possible. Daniel found himself blushing a tiny bit as the earthling continued to stare at him. If she was the daughter of the woman he had known would she remember him? If he remembered correctly her name had been Celestia. Daniel finally looked away for a minute.

This was kind of embarrassing. If she was the same person it would make things awkward as he had used her mother to get information about Earth?s culture. Hell! He had even slept with her on a regular basis! She hadn?t been the only one. It had been part of his job. He had made sure that no one got pregnant. When she had been pregnant with Celestia he had run a scan on her to make sure. Although the genetic code for humans was similar she was clearly human. Daniel finally turned back to find her still watching him. He didn?t know what to say.

Celestia watched the Versilan, waiting for him to say something. It looked like he was actually blushing! When he turned back to look at her again she made up her mind. If he wouldn?t say something she would. She was distracted by the sound of the door opening. It was Jared! He had brought several guards with him. Celestia cringed as Jared walked towards her. To her surprise he sat down on the side of the bed and smiled.

?[B]Ah Celestia, I see that you are recovering. There?s no need to be so reserved my dear.[/B]? He leaned forward reaching up with his left hand to brush her hair back. Jared reached up with his right hand as well and held her head with both hands as he kissed her on the lips. He pulled back a bit, looked into her eyes and whispered, ?[B]So spirited, it?s a pity you aren?t a man.[/B]? He released her and got up and went over to the other Versilan.

?[B]Commander Daniel, the doctor tells me you are recovered enough for us to begin.[/B]? He said. Celestia was still feeling too stunned over being kissed by Jared to be surprised that the man?s name really was Daniel. She watched as Daniel got up without a word and followed Jared, flanked by the guards he had brought. Celestia wondered what the hell was going on.

Sub-Commander Kim sighed. Ever since Commander Daniel had given her command and turned himself over to Commander Sandra things had gone downhill. She had never really thought about it before but Daniel was a kind Commander. She had been surprised when he had been promoted to Commander. He was very good at what he did, but he lacked the ruthlessness of so many others?s in command. Kim continued looking at the reports. The investigation of her crew had been going on for a week now. Unlike Daniel, the investigations conducted by Jared had been ruthless and downright brutal. Although no one on the ship was a member of the resistance several of them were into illegal drug and information trade. Each and every one who had been found guilty had been executed immediately. Kim hadn?t even been informed until after they had been executed.

She put the hand-held device down. What had really bothered her was when Sub-Commander Jared had questioned her. She had heard the rumors about him and now she knew just how true they really were. Never had she been so intimated by someone before. He was stunningly beautiful with his shoulder length silver blonde hair and a face and body both athletic and well defined. But what had really stuck her was how cold his beautiful eyes were. Kim knew from the rumors how Jared liked to amuse himself. Never had she been so glad to be a woman than when she was around him. She picked the hand-held devise back up and continued reviewing the reports.

Daniel sighed. It had been a week since the incident with Nathan. Jared had been questioning him for the past five days. Tomorrow he would be drugged to finish the interrogation. Something about Jared bothered him. He had heard rumors about Jared and how he liked to entertain himself. But what had surprised him the most was how cold and beautiful his eyes were. He had felt like a small mouse facing a cat. The look in Jared?s eyes was chilling though he didn?t know why.

Daniel ignored the sound of the door opening to the sickbay room. For whatever reason they had been keeping him in here with the two humans Jason and Celestia. He had been shocked to realize her name actually was Celestia. He had yet to learn her last name so he didn?t know if she really was the child of the Earth woman he had known. Daniel kept his back to them as they entered. They had tried to talk to him but he had simply turned away and ignored them. If she really was the daughter of the Earth woman he had known, for some reason he didn?t want Jared to know about it. Daniel had never kept anything a secret before so he wasn?t sure why he felt so strongly about it.

Jared entered his quarters in time to catch an incoming transmission. He sat down and opened the transmission; it was the spy he had recruited to work for him.

?[B]Sub-Commander Jared, I have the report on Nathan and the final report from the investigation of Commander Daniel?s mother.[/B]? Ryan said. ?[B]I?m sending it to you as we speak. I can wait while you read it Sub-Commander.[/B]?

Jared transferred the report into his hand-held device and asked, ?[B]Why would you need to wait while I read it Ryan?[/B]? he said.

Ryan replied, ?[B]Just read it and you will understand.[/B]?

Jared raised his eyebrow at that but said nothing. He opened the report and began to read. As he read further he understood what Ryan was referring to. Jared smiled; this was going to be fun. He looked up at Ryan?s face on the screen, ?[B]Have High Command?s orders been carried out yet?[/B]?

Ryan replied, ?[B]The other suspects are being taken into custody as we speak, as for the other two, well I have the orders for their execution right here. High Command wants their execution to be an example to others who would be so foolish as to oppose the expansion of the Versilan Empire. Apparently Nathan was one of the top resistance leaders. The resulting investigation has uncovered quite a few resistance members as well. The execution orders give you full power in choosing the method of their death.[/B]?

Ryan paused for a minute and then continued, ?[B]Do you wish me to carry out the execution here? Or do you want her sent to you to be disposed of?[/B]?

Jared smiled, oh was this going to be fun. ?[B]I want you to execute her for me. Here?s what I want you to do.[/B]? Jared explained in further detail.

Ryan smiled. When he had been recruited by Jared to be a spy he had never expected it to be so enjoyable. The longer he worked for him the more he respected him. What he wouldn?t give to actually work on the same ship with him! Ryan had never been so attracted so someone before. It didn?t even matter that he was a man or that he himself preferred women. When the communication closed he started making the preparations. He knew just who to call to assist him. He was going to really enjoy this and he owed it all to Sub-Commander Jared.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue']Thanks, I hadn?t noticed that. So I went back and completely re-wrote that section. So let me know what you think. ^_~ [/COLOR][/quote]That?s definitely much better. Also, why do I get the feeling you are about to off another poor character? [QUOTE=SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue]Ryan paused for a minute and then continued, ?[B]Do you wish me to carry out the execution here? Or do you want her sent to you to be disposed of?[/B]?

Jared smiled, oh was this going to be fun. ?[B]I want you to execute her for me. Here?s what I want you to do.[/B]? Jared explained in further detail.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]I?m assuming he?s referring to [spoiler]Daniel?s mother. Just as I?m assuming that the other person he was referring to was Daniel himself.[/spoiler] It will be interesting to see what you actually did. I can?t imagine it being any other characters, but I could be wrong, and I?m not sure I really want to know what Jared thinks will be fun about it.

Anyway, now that I?ve read quite a bit about your story I?m going to attempt to offer some advice as now I feel I?ve got more of a handle on your style of writing. I?ll start with the possible improvements first.

To start with the thing I notice the most as far as improvements go is the lack of description and details surrounding the story as a whole. They are there, but not enough to help me clearly paint a picture of where they are. However, you have provided enough that it does give a starting point for the reader to on some level to see it with their minds eye so to speak. So though I think it could be improved, I don?t think it distracts too much from the overall story. I just think some more descriptions would be helpful.

Also, there tends to be a distinct lack of descriptions as far as the characters go. Not so much in how they look, but rather in the unconscious gestures they would do. For example, the most recent chapter where Jared kissed Celestia, I would imagine she might have unconsciously gripped the blankets on the bed tightly, or reached up to instinctively push Jared away. Things that would help to indicate her state of mind when ever Jared is around.

To point out another example, would be when both Celestia and Jason first met again. You had written in how she was startled enough that she literally fell off the bed. That?s the sort of thing I am referring to.

Now for the stuff I think you do a good job with already. ;) First of all the thing I like the most about your writing style is how you focus in on how the characters are feeling. In fact so far I think your strongest point is in connecting with how the characters would think and feel in such situations. So in that respect, several of them feel very real as you read about them.

I also like the style where on some level you know what?s going to happen because even though the other characters don?t, you don?t hide what the other side is doing. Like the recent chapter, you?ve let the reader in on upcoming events, even when it?s obvious that the event is most likely going to include the death of another character. Instead of leaving us in the dark, you?ve instead put things on edge in the sense that though we know something bad is going to happen, we don?t know exactly how it?s going to happen. And the references from other characters as to how Jared likes to amuse himself gives a sense of doom in that I suspect that what is going to happen next isn?t going to be pretty.

I also like how on some level you seem to be aware of being too clichéd with your writing. Nathan comes to mind when I think of that. You could have easily written something that allowed all of them to escape and yet you did not. You built the story up to that point only to have the escape not succeed.

I do sense some upcoming obvious moments, I suspect that Celestia is [spoiler]actually Daniel?s daughter, though if I?m wrong I?m going to feel silly. [/spoiler] But I?m also getting the feeling that there are going to be some very unpleasant moments to counter that obvious event.

Anyway, overall I?ve certainly enjoyed reading your story and when it comes to the end, well right now you?re making it look like it?s not going to be happy in any respect. So I?m very curious to see how you resolve it. Or don?t as I seem to remember hints at the beginning of the thread as to how they were hoping this was the second segment where a character needed to die, and right now I?m assuming it?s safe to say that they were referring to Jared. So my last thoughts for you?Post so I can find out! :catgirl:

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom]To start with the thing I notice the most as far as improvements go is the lack of description and details surrounding the story as a whole. They are there, but not enough to help me clearly paint a picture of where they are. However, you have provided enough that it does give a starting point for the reader to on some level to see it with their minds eye so to speak. So though I think it could be improved, I don?t think it distracts too much from the overall story. I just think some more descriptions would be helpful.

Also, there tends to be a distinct lack of descriptions as far as the characters go. Not so much in how they look, but rather in the unconscious gestures they would do. For example, the most recent chapter where Jared kissed Celestia, I would imagine she might have unconsciously gripped the blankets on the bed tightly, or reached up to instinctively push Jared away. Things that would help to indicate her state of mind when ever Jared is around.

To point out another example, would be when both Celestia and Jason first met again. You had written in how she was startled enough that she literally fell off the bed. That?s the sort of thing I am referring to. [/QUOTE]First of all thank you for taking the time to critique my story, I really appreciate it. Truthfully I agree with you. Providing more details is something I struggle with. Or rather trying to write it in a manner that doesn?t seem wooden or stiff so I think to myself, I?ll add that later and often I don?t. I?ve been working on that, especially now that I?m starting to get prepared for the RPG based on this story. [quote name='Aaryanna_Mom]Now for the stuff I think you do a good job with already. ;) First of all the thing I like the most about your writing style is how you focus in on how the characters are feeling. In fact so far I think your strongest point is in connecting with how the characters would think and feel in such situations. So in that respect, several of them feel very real as you read about them.[/QUOTE]Thank you. For whatever reason, imagining how the characters would feel is easier for me. And as a result I tend to focus on it too much, leaving out other aspects like the descriptions you mentioned. Some of that I think comes from the novels I have read, some of them focus so much on the details that I feel like I never knew what the character was actually feeling. However, I think I did the same thing they did, focused too much on one aspect of the writing. [QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom'] I also like the style where on some level you know what?s going to happen because even though the other characters don?t, you don?t hide what the other side is doing. Like the recent chapter, you?ve let the reader in on upcoming events, even when it?s obvious that the event is most likely going to include the death of another character. Instead of leaving us in the dark, you?ve instead put things on edge in the sense that though we know something bad is going to happen, we don?t know exactly how it?s going to happen. And the references from other characters as to how Jared likes to amuse himself gives a sense of doom in that I suspect that what is going to happen next isn?t going to be pretty. [/quote]That?s actually a pet peeve of mine. I absolutely detest cliffhangers and stories that leave you hanging all the time. You never know what the enemy is up to, and though it can be an effective tool for creating suspense. I like the approach where you the reader know what?s up and your holding your breath, hoping that the main characters see it in time to escape. [QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom] I also like how on some level you seem to be aware of being too clichéd with your writing. Nathan comes to mind when I think of that. You could have easily written something that allowed all of them to escape and yet you did not. You built the story up to that point only to have the escape not succeed.

I do sense some upcoming obvious moments, I suspect that Celestia is [spoiler]actually Daniel?s daughter, though if I?m wrong I?m going to feel silly. [/spoiler] But I?m also getting the feeling that there are going to be some very unpleasant moments to counter that obvious event.

Anyway, overall I?ve certainly enjoyed reading your story and when it comes to the end, well right now you?re making it look like it?s not going to be happy in any respect. So I?m very curious to see how you resolve it. Or don?t as I seem to remember hints at the beginning of the thread as to how they were hoping this was the second segment where a character needed to die, and right now I?m assuming it?s safe to say that they were referring to Jared. So my last thoughts for you?Post so I can find out! :catgirl:[/QUOTE]Thanks, I still feel clichéd but I do try to avoid it. Some events I think are unavoidable, because so many others have already written stories before me, so it?s not that simple to come up with something completely new.

As for your sense as to what is coming up. In some areas you are one hundred percent correct. But since I don?t? want to spoil it for you I won?t say which areas you got correctly.

Thanks again for the input, just as you asked for, here?s the next part. ;)




[B]Chapter twenty-five:[/B]

When the guards came to get Daniel for the third day of being questioned under the influence of the drugs, he knew something was wrong. The four of them were heavily armed and without any warning they bound his hands behind him. He was too surprised at first to protest. But when he realized they were taking him to an interrogation chamber reserved only for criminals his attempt to question the guards as to what was going on was ignored.

Daniel stopped walking and demanded, ?[B]I asked you a question, what is going on here![/B]?

The guards ignored his question and simply grabbed his arms and dragged him into the room. They removed the restraints and fastened him to the wall. They fastened him to chains spreading his arms above him and to the side. With additional restraints around his waist, across his chest just under his arms and around his knees and ankles he found he could hardly move!

This didn?t make any sense! He wasn?t a traitor! Did Jared actually intend to torture him? Daniel had never approved of such harsh methods. Since he had been given command of a battle ship the chamber for criminal interrogations had never been used. Why go to such extreme methods when it wasn?t required? Did High Command know what he was doing?

Jared entered the room and sat down at the control console in front of Daniel, he started turning all the equipment on.

?[B]Explain yourself Sub-Commander.[/B]? Daniel demanded.

Jared finished turning on all the equipment and finally looked up at Daniel. Jared smiled and said, ?[B]I think you are the one who needs to explain. Did you really think you could hide the truth from us?[/B]?

Daniel was speechless for a moment before replying, ?[B]What are you talking about? I have told you the truth about everything you have asked me![/B]?

Jared replied, ?[B]Then explain why you never mentioned that Nathan is your father. Such an important detail to overlook for a Commander.[/B]?

Daniel was once again speechless, what in the world was Jared talking about? Nathan wasn?t his father! His father had died in a skirmish with the resistance!

Jared continued, ?[B]Nothing else to say Commander?[/B]? Daniel screamed in pain as Jared activated the disruptors sending powerful waves of electrical energy through his body.

Jared waited several minutes before turning the disruptor off. ?[B]Does that help you to remember? Or do you require more?[/B]? He said.

Daniel took a moment to catch his breath before responding, ?[B]My father was killed by the resistance. It?s in my records! He died before I was even born! Nathan is not my father![/B]? Once again Daniel screamed in pain as Jared activated the disruptor. When it finally stopped he hung limply in the restraints breathing heavily.

?[B]We found evidence showing that your records had been tampered with. The only thing we haven?t been able to determine is which one of you altered the records. Your mother claims she didn?t do it, and I can?t ask Nathan. When we checked with the clinic your mother went to for the genetic process we found a hard copy of the arrangement between your mother and Nathan. Imagine our surprise when it clearly stated that Nathan was the genetic donor. Most clinics don?t keep a hard copy or I?m sure you or Nathan would have made sure it was destroyed.[/B]?

Jared got up and walked over until he was face to face with Daniel. ?[B]I must admit I had no idea the resistance was so capable. To think that Nathan managed to hide under our very noses for so long and that you actually managed to get promoted to the rank of Commander![/B]? He said, admiration in his voice.

Daniel couldn?t believe what he was hearing! Was it really true that Nathan was his father? If that was really true his mother would be executed for high treason! No! It couldn?t be! This had to be some sick game of Jared?s to force him to admit he was a traitor, but why?

?[B]He is not my father Sub-Commander; I refuse to play your sick game. I am not a traitor.[/B]? Daniel said.

To his surprise Jared smiled and said, ?[B]Ah, but Commander this is no game I assure you. We have already secured your mother?s confession regarding Nathan. She has even admitted that she suspected that Nathan and other people she knows were working with the resistance. Do you know what the penalty is for not reporting suspected resistance members or activities? Don?t bother to answer, of course you know what it is.[/B]? Jared paused and then answered his own question, ?[B]the penalty is death.[/B]?

Daniel couldn?t help but gasp in horror! ?[B]Damn you Jared! Leave my mother out of this![/B]? Daniel snapped. He knew it was pointless but he tried to pull free of the restraints to get at Jared. Daniel glared at him.

Jared laughed and replied, ?[B]You?re actually kind of cute when you are angry.[/B]? Jared walked back and sat down at the console and said, ?[B]It looks like I?m going to have to convince you Commander that I?m quite serious.[/B]?

Jared continued using the disruptor on Daniel until he could no longer even scream. He sighed; it was a shame that he didn?t get the pleasure of such activities very often. Jared shut down the disruptor. He didn?t want Daniel to lose consciousness just yet, it would spoil the next surprise he had for him. When he had read the execution orders he had been surprised by being given complete control over Daniel?s and his mother?s fate. As long as at least one of them was executed High Command didn?t care what happened to the other.

He had contacted High Command to make sure and they had responded that if he wanted to keep Daniel alive as a prisoner that was fine by them. Besides, unlike his mother, Daniel was a commander, something Nathan had to have used to his advantage. Taking the time to probe his memories would be extremely useful in tracking down other connections to the resistance forces.

Jared smiled as he got up and walked over to Daniel. He reached up and grabbed Daniel?s hair forcing him to look at him. ?[B]Do you believe me now Daniel?[/B]? He said. ?[B]I already have the orders for your execution, and for your mother as well. Though I intend to keep you alive for a while. I have no use for her.[/B]?

Daniel fought to stay conscious. He didn?t want to believe it but if execution orders had really been issued then what Jared was saying had to be true. ?[B]I told you Jared,[/B]? he whispered, ?[B]Leave my mother out of this![/B]?

Jared let go of Daniel and walked back over to the console. He turned on the monitor on the wall behind him and prepared the program Ryan had sent him. ?[B]I think it?s time for an educational video I?ve had specially made just for you,[/B]? Jared said. ?[B]I?ll be back to continue our conversation once the video is finished.[/B]?

Jared got up and left, he would watch the video of Daniel?s response later. For now he had duties to attend to. Jared smiled, besides he had already seen the video, Ryan had outdone himself. Daniel had actually looked quite cute when he was angry, it would be interesting to see how he looked after seeing what was on the video.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

o_O Well he certainly didn?t waste any time in going after Daniel. Guilty until proven innocent huh? And I see you wrote it from the prospective of Jared enjoying torturing him. Ouch!

And telling Daniel he has no use for his mother. At this point I?m going to guess that the ?video? in question is of her [spoiler]execution.[/spoiler] And I?m also going to guess that it?s not very nice either.

I?m not sure I want to find out either! Though I kid, as I?ve come far enough that I really do want to know, even if it?s not very nice. ;)

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom]I?m not sure I want to find out either! Though I kid, as I?ve come far enough that I really do want to know, even if it?s not very nice. ;)[/QUOTE]You may change your mind once you read it. [spoiler]Cackles Evilly![/spoiler] And so I?m not totally off topic here, I rather like this part that you added in: [QUOTE=SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue'] Besides, unlike his mother, Daniel was a commander, something Nathan had to have used to his advantage. Taking the time to probe his memories would be extremely useful in tracking down other connections to the resistance forces. [/COLOR][/quote]I?m fairly certain it wasn?t there before and I rather like it as it fits Jared?s character. He may be one mean little shit, but you?ve also been painting a picture of someone who is dedicated to his duties. So it makes sense that even though he is having fun, he would still be focusing on his job as a Sub-Commander. [/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom]o_O Well he certainly didn?t waste any time in going after Daniel. Guilty until proven innocent huh? And I see you wrote it from the prospective of Jared enjoying torturing him. Ouch!

And telling Daniel he has no use for his mother. At this point I?m going to guess that the ?video? in question is of her [spoiler]execution.[/spoiler] And I?m also going to guess that it?s not very nice either.

I?m not sure I want to find out either! Though I kid, as I?ve come far enough that I really do want to know, even if it?s not very nice. ;)[/QUOTE]Exactly, guilty as far as the Versilan government is concerned. ^_~ And your guess...well...

I mentioned before that I would warn you when it was going to get darker right? Well that moment has come. This next section is the biggest reason my story has the rating I gave it. [quote name='indifference][COLOR=DarkRed]You may change your mind once you read it. [spoiler]Cackles Evilly![/spoiler'] And so I?m not totally off topic here, I rather like this part that you added in: I?m fairly certain it wasn?t there before and I rather like it as it fits Jared?s character. He may be one mean little shit, but you?ve also been painting a picture of someone who is dedicated to his duties. So it makes sense that even though he is having fun, he would still be focusing on his job as a Sub-Commander. [/COLOR][/quote]Getting into character I see. :p As for the other part, you are correct I did add it. ^_^




[B]Chapter twenty-six:[/B]


Daniel didn?t even resist when the guards finally came to take him back to sickbay. Although Jared had released him from the restraints earlier, he had been too drugged, sickened and shocked to even move from where Jared had left him lying on the floor. He couldn?t stop the tears that continued to flow down his cheeks. Even when the guards chained him to the bed in sickbay and left he just continued to cry silently and stare blankly. Daniel had heard the rumors about Jared and how people objected to the cruelty of the Versilan Empire. But never in his entire life had he ever experienced it.

Even if his mother had been a member of the resistance no one deserved to be treated like that. Even he had been humane when he had been required to execute traitors. Daniel wanted to blame Nathan but he couldn?t. He could blame him for her being executed but not for what they had done to her before she was killed. At first he couldn?t believe what he was seeing on the video. How could anyone do that to another person! Daniel had closed his eyes but he couldn?t turn off the sounds of his mother being raped and tortured to death.

Daniel had struggled furiously to break free of the restraints. In the end all he had managed to do was bruise himself and tear his clothing and skin. In spite of the pain and blood he had struggled furiously when Jared had returned, as he wanted more than anything to kill him on the spot. Jared had simply laughed at him and offered to give him a copy of his mother?s execution as a keepsake of her. As if that wasn?t enough Jared had then drugged him. When the drugs had taken effect and he was released from the restraints he had fallen to the floor unable to move.

Daniel cringed in his mind at what had happened next, he had heard about what Jared did to people but truthfully he had refused to believe it. He just couldn?t believe that someone could be so evil and sadistic. But Jared had shown him how wrong he was. The things Jared did to him while he was raping him caused something inside him to break. If he had known what was going to happen he would have committed suicide instead of turning himself over to Commander Sandra. As the tears continued to flow down his face Daniel retreated further into his mind, how could he possibly continue to live after all that had happened?

Celestia gasped in horror when the guards brought Daniel in and chained him to the bed and left. What had they done to him? As soon as they left she immediately went over to ask him if he was okay. But no matter what she said he didn?t even seem to see or hear her. Celestia went to her bed and pushed the call button requesting to talk to the doctor.

After a few minutes the doctor appeared, ?[B]What is it Celestia?[/B]?

Celestia said, ?[B]Doctor, something?s wrong with Daniel! He?s bleeding and when I ask if he?s all right he doesn?t respond![/B]?

The doctor sighed, ?[B]I already know about Daniel. His wounds aren?t serious, don?t worry I?ll be there as soon as I finish Jason?s session.[/B]? Celestia didn?t even get a chance to beg her to come sooner as the screen went blank. She went into the bathroom and got several wet and dry towels. She ran back and gently cleaned up the blood on his wrists and wiped away his tears. He was hot to the touch so she placed a cold wet towel on his forehead.

After what seemed like an eternity Daniel finally stopped crying and shivering. Celestia went to the bathroom and got more clean towels. She came back and sat on the edge of the bed as she placed a new wet towel on Daniel?s forehead. She was surprised when he grabbed her hand and held on tight. Celestia set the other towels on the table next to the bed and situated herself on the bed so she was sitting right next to Daniel. She reached over with her other hand and grabbed the one holding hers.

?[B]It?s all right. I?ll stay with you until the doctor comes.[/B]? She said. Daniel didn?t respond but just held her hand tighter. Celestia waited patiently for the doctor, even when Daniel seemed to have fallen asleep she continued to hold his hand in hers and wait. After what seemed like an eternity the door finally opened and Jason and the Doctor entered the room. The doctor came over to the bed and started running a scanner over Daniel.

?[B]Well doctor? Is he going to be okay?[/B]? she asked.

Crystal sighed before responding, ?[B]Celestia please go stand over by Jason. Physically Daniel will be fine.[/B]?

Celestia followed the doctor?s instructions and got up and went over to stand next to Jason. ?[B]What do you mean by physically? Is something else wrong?[/B]? She asked.

The doctor finished treating Daniel?s wounds and gave him a shot before turning to respond to Celestia, ?[B]I guess it won?t hurt to tell you as everyone else knows.[/B]?

Crystal motioned for Jason and Celestia to sit on the bed after she sat down at the end of Jason?s bed. Once they had sat down she said, ?[B]You already know that Nathan was a member of the resistance. Correct?[/B]?

Both Jason and Celestia nodded their heads yes.

Crystal continued, ?[B]Apparently Daniel is Nathan?s son. As a result both Daniel and his mother are considered traitors. His mother has already been executed. Daniel has been stripped of his command and given over to Jared to do with as he pleases. As I mentioned before, I may not agree with the military?s methods but I do obey orders. Initially High Commanded issued an execution order for Daniel as well but they left that up to Jared to decide.[/B]?

Crystal got up to leave but turned to say one more thing before leaving, ?[B]Personally, I believe a quick execution would have been kinder than what he has endured today.[/B]? On that cryptic note she left.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue]Crystal got up to leave but turned to say one more thing before leaving, ?[B]Personally, I believe a quick execution would have been kinder than what he has endured today.[/B']? On that cryptic note she left.[/COLOR][/quote]o_O Well you certainly don?t pull any punches. And that last statement is so true. Poor Daniel. No wonder the others were referring to Jared as a mean little shit and that he needs to die. I think I?ll second that statement.

Since you are going to be starting your RPG based on this soon I?m wondering how that?s going to work as you?ve got all of them in quite the predicament at the moment. Goodness I don?t know what else to say at this point. And I?m wondering just where you intend to go with the storyline at this point.

I will say that you?ve certainly established Jared?s personality as a cruel villain with that last chapter. With him enjoying what he did to both Daniel and his mother. Makes me glad he?s not real.

Anyway, you bum! Post so I can find out what happens next. If this were a book, there?s no way I?d be setting it down after what I just read!

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom']Since you are going to be starting your RPG based on this soon I?m wondering how that?s going to work as you?ve got all of them in quite the predicament at the moment. Goodness I don?t know what else to say at this point. And I?m wondering just where you intend to go with the storyline at this point. [/quote]Well the actual RPG won?t go up for about another week. So it will be resolved, or rather to the point where the RPG will start.

I?ve already got the sign up sheet and information ready. Now all I?m doing is fine-tuning the plot twists I have in mind. Once I finish that and post a few more relevant chapters, the fun will begin. ^_~ [QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom]I will say that you?ve certainly established Jared?s personality as a cruel villain with that last chapter. With him enjoying what he did to both Daniel and his mother. Makes me glad he?s not real.

Anyway, you bum! Post so I can find out what happens next. If this were a book, there?s no way I?d be setting it down after what I just read![/QUOTE]Thanks! Every story like this needs a good villain, and who knows what Jared will do since originally he didn?t have much of a role and he sort of took over and changed that. So if my readers want him dead then I take that as a compliment as it means at least on some level people are relating to him. ^_~

And now, as requested?



[B]Chapter twenty-seven:[/B]


Commander Kim sat down on the sofa in her quarters. She made no attempt to stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks. Kim had long dreamed of becoming a Commander, but not like this! When Commander Sandra had informed her that she was being promoted to Commander over Daniel?s ship she had been surprised. Especially when Sandra had gone on to inform her about Daniel being Nathan?s son; she couldn?t believe it!

Kim read through the report on investigation that she had been sent once again. And though the report didn?t give the details she had heard the rumors about what High Command had done to his poor mother. How could they allow such a thing? After what Jared had done to her crew, she knew the rumor was true. Later when she had learned what Jared had done to Daniel she was glad she had been in her quarters. She had broken down and wept. Kim had never admitted to anyone not even herself how she felt about Daniel and to hear what Jared had done was almost more than she could stand. She had finally gotten herself under control enough to return to duty.

Kim wiped the tears away and sighed. How long had she been willingly ignoring what was going on around her? She knew deep down inside that her government was corrupt. She had no family as her parents had died in an accident. She had been staying at a friend?s house or she would have died as well. Since she had no living relatives she had become a ward of the Empire and placed in military school. Although she had seen a lot of cruelty among the candidates and officers she knew the law and trusted in those higher up to maintain order. And when she had been assigned to serve under Daniel shortly after he became a Commander she had put it out of her mind, as he was exactly how she had imagined true officers were like.

For ten years she had been content. She had ignored the rumors about the cruelty as well. Now she could not. Was this why people joined the resistance? It was one thing to execute traitors but she knew damn well what they did to Daniel?s mother and what Jared was doing to him was not acceptable. Why did they allow it? Kim wanted more than anything to investigate what the hell was going on yet she knew if she did it would be a grave mistake.

Something had to be done, that much was clear. Kim just didn?t know what to do. If they were this cruel to their own, what about the worlds they had taken over? She knew that Commander Sandra had two humans from Earth on her ship who had been taken against their will. Where they being treated like Daniel was?

Kim had once been approached by someone trying to get her to join the resistance though at the time she had thought the person was only joking. She had chewed him out saying such a stupid joke would only get him in trouble. He had apologized and never spoke of it again. Kim now wondered if he had been serious. William was only a merchant and at the time she had thought he was just trying to get her to come work with him, even if his way of saying it was in poor taste. Kim went over to the console and sent a message to William?s ship on a secure channel. She knew it was foolish but she had to speak to him again.

Celestia wondered how she could continue to cope with everything. It had been nearly three weeks since the first time Daniel had been brought back to the sickbay so hurt by Jared. And nearly a month since Nathan had died, it still just seemed so unreal. According to the Doctor her and Jason?s genetic enhancement was complete and in another week after making sure it had settled properly she and Jason would be put back to work with the new computer specialist. Celestia wasn?t sure she could even continue to cooperate.

Every couple of days Daniel would be taken away by the guards and each time they brought him back he was battered and beaten. It broke her heart every time they took him away. She didn?t know why but seeing him so hurt when they brought him back was painful. Why was she so affected by what happened to him? She knew it was more than just being upset. It was somehow different. Was it because he looked so much like the Daniel in her dreams?

Celestia was no fool, she didn?t know the specifics but she knew that Jared was doing far more than torture and interrogations. Was that why she was so upset? Was she worried that Jason was next? Every time Daniel was brought back it was like part of him had died. He didn?t respond to anything she said and simply didn?t eat or drink. If it weren?t for the doctor giving him stuff he probably would have died already. Celestia didn?t know if she could handle seeing the same thing happen to Jason. She wondered if Daniel wished he were dead. She got up off her bed and went over to sit by his side. She did this everyday, trying to talk to him and somehow comfort him. To her surprise this time he actually grabbed her hand and looked at her directly.

?[B]Thank you Celestia,[/B]? he whispered. He closed his eyes and let go of her hand.

Celestia leaned over and hugged him tightly, ?[B]I?m so sorry Daniel. I wish I could do more for you.[/B]?

To her surprise he replied, ?[B]It?s okay, I understand. Don?t worry about it.[/B]? Celestia let go and continued to sit next to him holding his hand until he finally fell asleep.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=DarkOrchid][QUOTE=SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue]Well the actual RPG won?t go up for about another week. So it will be resolved, or rather to the point where the RPG will start.

I?ve already got the sign up sheet and information ready. Now all I?m doing is fine-tuning the plot twists I have in mind. Once I finish that and post a few more relevant chapters, the fun will begin. ^_~ [/COLOR][/QUOTE]I was wondering about that myself. Would we be starting before or after the last chapter you wrote? But in the end I guess it doesn?t matter. Either way I know I?m looking forward to it. ^_^

I?ve been enjoying re-reading this as you post it since the improvement on the format has made it easier to follow and the stuff you?ve added along with the re-writes suggested have made it much more fun. I even caught things I missed the first time. Which is part of what makes reading a story you like a second time. Catching those little tidbits you missed the first time. ^_^

Oh and by the way... Jared still needs to die. :p[/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=DarkOrchid']I was wondering about that myself. Would we be starting before or after the last chapter you wrote? But in the end I guess it doesn?t matter. Either way I know I?m looking forward to it. ^_^[/COLOR][/quote]It will be after the last chapter. It's close to the end so from setting up the sign up to allowing time for people to sign up, I'm sure there will be enough time to get the remaining chapters posted. ^_~



[B]Chapter twenty-eight:[/B]

Jared waited patiently outside the Commander?s quarters until the door opened and she told him to enter. When he walked in he was a bit surprised at how sparse her quarters really were. Although they were twice the size as his other than a couple more couches there wasn?t much extra in the way of comforts. Sandra was still dressed in a light uniform and motioned to Jared to join her as she was eating her dinner.

?[B]Ah Jared, I took the liberty of ordering you something to drink as I know you have already eaten. Help yourself.[/B]? She indicated the bottles on the table. Jared picked one and poured himself a drink.

?[B]Now as to why I called you here. I have an important mission from High Command and I want you to oversee it. They are sending an elite squad to pick up Celestia and have her transferred to the lab at High Command?s headquarters. I?ve been ordered to provide an escort, as I need to stay here with Commander Kim and finish checking though the abandoned resistance base. As you already know we didn?t find anything the first time through but High Command wants a second search before we destroy it.[/B]?Sandra paused for a minute to finish her dinner and then pour herself something to drink before continuing.

?[B]I have also been instructed to send Jason along just for the trip, once they actually arrive at the capital High Command has decided you can either execute him or keep him as he really isn?t smart enough to keep alive. They have decided that since the genetic enhancement was successful with her, other methods to insure cooperation can be used and that Jason is no longer needed.[/B]?

She paused to watch Jared?s reaction, as usual there was none, she continued, ?[B]I want you to be the escort. It will take two weeks to arrive and another three to return, as we will have moved on to the next sector by then. I know you have been amusing yourself with Daniel and we can keep him alive for when you return if you wish it. Especially since your reports indicate that you are not finished probing his memory for connections to the resistance. I also took the liberty of requesting that instead of executing Jason that he be given directly to you.[/B]? Sandra shoved an envelope across the table towards Jared. He picked it up and opened it.

?[B]It?s already in the system but those are the actual ownership papers giving you full rights to Jason. I?ve seen what an effect that one has on you and took the liberty of getting this done for you. This way he can be kept here as a member of the crew to serve as your personal slave. I?ve noticed that you no longer dispose of your diversions once you are done with them. You can revoke the ownership papers if you feel that I am mistaken in believing you wish to keep him permanently.[/B]?

Jared set the papers down and smiled. ?[B]You assume correctly, thank you Sandra,[/B]? He replied.

?[B]Good then I?m sure you will like the arrangements for the trip as I have assigned him to the same quarters as you for both the trip to the capital and back. I?m assuming that five weeks will make up for my rude interruption of your fun last month.[/B]? Sandra smiled, ?[B]Besides now that he has undergone genetic modification you won?t have to hold back this time.[/B]?

Jared smiled again and said, ?[B]Please do keep Daniel alive for my return. It would be a shame to dispose of him while he is still useful. Also when do I leave for the capital?[/B]?

Sandra replied, ?[B]The escort will be here in four days[/B].?

Jared stood up preparing to leave the commander?s quarters, ?[B]I understand Commander. I?ll go start the preparations for my departure and prepare the instructions for my temporary replacement.[/B]? He turned and left the commanders quarters.


[B]Chapter twenty-nine:[/B]


When Celestia woke up again something felt odd. It wasn?t painful but her whole body felt kind of hot and tingly. She got up to go take a shower but saw that it was already in use by Jason. She went over and checked on Daniel. It never failed to amaze her at how quickly the Versilans recovered from injuries. He had been so battered and bruised yesterday, but this morning the bruises were already almost completely healed.

Celestia wondered if the modifications they had done to her and Jason would also mean that they would heal quickly as well. Daniel was still asleep so she re-covered him with the blanket that had slipped off during the night. She sat back down on the bed to wait. Celestia thought about talking to the doctor about how she felt but decided to wait and see if it went away after a while first. She turned when the door opened to see Jason coming out of the restroom.

Celestia ran over to give him a quick hug and a good morning kiss but he grabbed her by the shoulders and stared into her eyes with a troubled expression.

?[B]What is it Jason? What?s wrong?[/B]? She asked.

?[B]Celestia have you seen your eyes?[/B]? He asked.

Celestia was puzzled, ?[B]What are you talking about?[/B]?

Jason let go of her and said, ?[B]Your eyes have silver in them! Go look in the mirror![/B]? Celestia went into the restroom and looked into the mirror. She gasped in surprise as she had streaks of silver running from the inside out to the edge of her irises in her eyes! No wonder Jason had been so surprised! Although her eyes were still primarily blue the streaks were quite vivid and noticeable!

That hadn?t been there last night! Was it related to how she felt funny? She walked back out and nearly passed out as a wave of dizziness hit her. Jason caught her and helped her to lie back down in her bed. He called the doctor who showed up and after running a quick scan had several medical personnel move her to another room. She vaguely remembered Jason trying to come along and the doctor re-assuring him she would let him know what was going on as soon as she found out. Celestia tried to stay awake and found that she could not.

Doctor Crystal sat down at her desk to organize the information she had regarding Celestia. Jared would be arriving shortly as she had requested that he come and see her regarding what she had found out. It had taken close to twelve hours to figure out what was going on and then to finally stabilize the reaction. She had barely finished the report when Jared arrived.

?[B]Sub-Commander, here?s the report,[/B]? Crystal said. ?[B]Please have a seat while I explain this to you.[/B]? Jared walked over and sat down in the chair facing her desk. Once he had sat down she continued, ?[B]You already know about what happened regarding Celestia so I won?t bother to go over that. What I wanted to talk to you about is what caused the reaction she had. To put it simply Sub-Commander, Celestia?s father is a Versilan.[/B]? Jared was surprised, how was that possible? The doctor continued before he could ask her for an explanation.

?[B]Let me explain, you see Earthlings do not use genetics to reproduce. As a result their genetic structure is primitive and extremely dominant. It?s why they have so many defects. Even if a gene is useless and causes problems their code keeps it and even carries it?s potential to the next generation. It?s extremely difficult to track as it has multiple layers of what appear to be the same code and yet still hides useless traits. By using genetics we actually remove the harmful code. I believe that in her case that it was most likely her father who was a Versilan. When she was conceived the human side of her took over and the code she got from her father was buried. The only part that was used was the code that determined what her actual sex was.[/B]?

Crystal paused for a moment and then continued. ?[B]When we applied the genetic enhancement and started removing some of the harmful code it must have triggered the genetic code from her father that had been buried. Since it was dormant even if I had looked for it I might have never found it. At least not without breaking the code down more. Something that I originally did not do as our code has been modified enough that we no longer have so many redundant layers. And even then ours never was as unorganized and full of problems as humans are. Right now I have identified about seventy percent of the code so I don?t have enough to check the database to see whom her father is. It?s distorted so it might take another couple of days to finish identifying the code to determine who her father is.[/B]?

Jared looked up from the report he had been glancing at while the doctor explained. ?[B]I see, it would be interesting if her father is actually alive. I?ll get you a list of all known operatives who served on Earth. It probably would be a good idea to start with them when it comes to checking their code to see if they are a match.[/B]?

Jared smiled and continued, ?[B]You could start with both the code for Nathan and Daniel as they both served on Earth. Though Daniel is the only one I know of that was there when Celestia was actually born. I?ll have time for another session with Daniel right before I leave for the capital, I?ll be sure to ask him about it. Which reminds me will Celestia actually be ready to be transported?[/B]?

Crystal replied, ?[B]Unless something else happens she should be fine. I?ll know for sure by the time you leave.[/B]?

Jared got up to leave, ?[B]Very well Doctor I?ll expect a status report as soon as you learn something new.[/B]?

Crystal replied, ?[B]Of course Sub-Commander.[/B]? [/COLOR]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed]I only have one critique on this chapter, well other than the obvious slant where Celestia ends up being a halfling so to speak, though since it's been done so much in shows and other literature it's kind of hard to avoid that sort of obvious twist. Or rather the fact that you included it being obvious. And it's not like you haven't been dropping hints all along.

Anyway, back to my point. And that is that the current chapter is a bit too long or rather focuses so much on two different aspects of the story, from Jared getting his assignment to the part where Celestia's heritage is revealed. That I'm thinking it would have been better to separate them into two different chapters.

It could just be me, but since you were already so focused on what Jared was up to, the switch to Celestia just seems a little off at first. I'm just thinking that indicating it was a new chapter would have helped set the tone that you were going to go in a completely different direction with the story. Meh, I'm not even sure if I make sense here.

Anyway, other than that, excellent work. ;)[/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='indifference][COLOR=DarkRed']I'm thinking it would have been better to separate them into two different chapters. [/COLOR][/quote]I agree, so I went back and modified it to that effect. ^_~



[B]Chapter thirty:[/B]

Celestia woke up to find herself back in the room with Jason and Daniel. The lights were dimmed and when she turned to see Jason and Daniel she saw that they were both asleep. She got up quietly and went into the bathroom to look at the mirror. Not only were the streaks still there but also they were more prominent. About one third of her eye color was now the same silver as the Versilan?s, what she didn?t understand was why only she had this reaction and not Jason.

Celestia went back out into the main room to lie back down on her bed. What really disturbed her is she thought she overheard some of the medical staff commenting on whether or not she would be ready to be transported in a few days. She didn?t know if she had been dreaming or not. The stuff they gave her when she was being treated had made her feel almost as if she wasn?t even in her own body.

Celestia got up and walked over to Daniel. She checked to make sure his blanket had not come off before turning and going over to the bed Jason was in. Celestia smiled. Jason was so cute when he was sleeping. He looked so carefree and relaxed, with a bit of his own hair covering his face. She hesitated and made up her mind. She lifted up the blanket and crawled under to sleep next to him. Jason stirred a bit in his sleep and moved closer wrapping his right arm around her waist.

Celestia smiled, as he hadn?t even woken up. She positioned her head on his pillow until their faces were only about six inches apart. She sighed to herself. If only things had been different. Celestia hated to admit it, but even if she hadn?t been taken prisoner by the Versilan?s there was no guarantee she would have dated Jason as she was so horribly shy when it came to relationships. Especially since most men were only after her money. It was the only good thing that had happened since she had been captured. She had finally realized how much she cared for Jason. Celestia closed her eyes and drifted into pleasant dreams.

As Jason began to wake up he realized that he had his arm wrapped around something warm. He opened his eyes and nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized that he was looking at Celestia. Jason blushed furiously when he realized that not only had she gotten into the bed without waking him, but that his right arm was wrapped around her waist. Celestia was close enough that their bodies were touching and her face was only a few inches from his. Jason felt his heart begin to race and he blushed again. Celestia stirred and opened her eyes.

She smiled and said, ?[B]You look cute when you blush.[/B]?

Jason blushed even more. Celestia leaned forward to kiss Jason but stopped when she heard the sound of the door opening. She sat up and froze, as it was Jared and several guards.

Jason also sat up but when he started to move to get off the bed, Jared said, ?[B]Don?t bother to move on my account. We have something to talk about.[/B]? The guards went over to Daniel?s bed and woke him up. But instead of removing the restraints to take him they went back over to stand behind Jared once Daniel had been moved to a sitting position.

Jared smiled and continued, ?[B]I will be transporting you to the capital Celestia. Jason will be coming along for the trip as well. But since we will be leaving in a few days I thought you might like to have a little family re-union before we leave as you will never see Daniel again.[/B]? Celestia was puzzled, what did Jared mean by family re-union. Jared could see that Celestia and Jason were both quite confused. Even Daniel looked confused.

This was interesting. Even if he had followed standard procedure and scanned the unborn child as operatives were required to make sure no half-breeds were left behind on the worlds they investigated, he would not have realized she had some of their genetic code. It had taken the doctor nearly two days to completely analyze the data. No operative had the necessary equipment to make such a though check.

Jared sighed dramatically, ?[B]I see that you are clueless, not surprising since your mother died and you were placed in an orphanage when you were quite young. You probably never saw your father again after that. Since your parents were never married a search for your father produced no results.[/B]?

Celestia was still confused. She knew her parents had not been married and since no one came to claim her in the orphanage she had assumed that her father was dead as well. Truthfully she didn?t remember her father. It wasn?t until she became wealthy that people tried to claim that she was their daughter. None of them had been telling the truth. Just what was Jared getting at?

Jared turned to Daniel to see that he looked horrified. He smiled, ?[B]I see that you are not so clueless after all, shall I explain or would you like the honor?[/B]?

Celestia turned to look at Daniel. His expression when he looked at her was unreadable. Just what in the world was going on here? Jared walked over and sat down on the bed next to Celestia and leaned forward as if to whisper a secret.

?[B]Haven?t you ever wondered why your father never came to get you from the orphanage? It?s quite simple, he was no longer on Earth.[/B]?

Celestia was stunned! She looked briefly at Daniel again before looking back at Jared. Was he saying that Daniel was her father? Was that why he looked exactly like the Daniel in her dreams? Was it also why Nathan had looked so familiar as he was Daniel?s father?

Jared watched Celestia as she looked over to Daniel and then back at him again. This was going to be fun. He leaned forward until his face was nearly touching Celestia?s.

?[B]Daniel is your father. The doctor has identified the genetic code and it?s an exact match. Your reaction to the genetic enhancement activated the small amount of code that wasn?t overwritten by your human side.[/B]? Jared paused for a minute to allow what he said to sink in before continuing, ?[B]The trip to the capital will take two weeks.[/B]? Jared wrapped his left arm behind Celestia and pulled her close until they were touching. He reached up with his right hand and grabbed her chin forcing her to look up at him ignoring her attempts to push him away. He also ignored Jason and Daniel?s startled gasps of surprise, trusting in the guards to watch them.

?[B]I have always preferred men, but I think that for you I will make an exception.[/B]? He smiled as Celestia struggled harder to get free, ?[B]How could I possibly turn down the opportunity. First Nathan as he poisoned himself to avoid capture. Then arranging the final moments for Daniel?s mother. Of course there is Daniel himself. Soon I will have your boyfriend Jason. I wouldn?t want you to feel left out.[/B]? Jared ignored Celestia?s struggles and kissed her.

Celestia couldn?t stop the tears as Jared did more than just lightly kiss her on the lips. She had never been kissed like this before! Did he plan on raping her in front of Jason and Daniel? She fell backwards into Jason when Jared suddenly released her. Celestia couldn?t stop herself from shaking.

Jared turned to look at Daniel. He got up and walked over towards him. Jared smiled at the cold look of absolute fury on Daniel?s face. Daniel lunged at Jared when he was close enough. He pulled so hard that the light restraints actually broke. He staggered when one of the guards shot him with a medium stun blast. Jared quickly punched Daniel hard in the stomach knocking the breath out of him. He fell to the floor gasping for air.

?[B]Don?t worry, I?ll be sure to bring back a video of your daughter for you.[/B]? With that he turned and left, taking the two guards with him.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=Red]I love this chapter. Even though Jared's such a meanie, I love how you have both Jason and Celestia starting to realize how much they care for eachother. :catgirl:

As for the previous post. I agree with indifference, it's much better now that you seperated it into different chapters. That slight pause to read that it's another chapter is just enough to make the switch more natural instead of reading and then realizing that the author is off on another tangent. [/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue] [quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=Red']As for the previous post. I agree with indifference, it's much better now that you separated it into different chapters. That slight pause to read that it's another chapter is just enough to make the switch more natural instead of reading and then realizing that the author is off on another tangent. [/COLOR][/quote]Thanks again you two for the input. I appreciate it. ^_~



[B]Chapter thirty-one:[/B]


Daniel couldn?t even get up off the floor after Jared and the guards left. He watched as Jason held Celestia close while she cried. Daniel closed his eyes and sighed. So she was the daughter of the Earth woman he had cared for. Despite his precautions Celestia was their daughter. Jared had mentioned that her human side had overwritten the genetic code from him, if what he said was true it would explain why the scan had shown her as being human. If it had shown any of his, at the time he would have made sure the baby was terminated. It was a simple matter to cause a miscarriage.

Daniel cried silently. Everything he had known had been turned upside down. Never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined his life becoming such a nightmare. The door opened again and Daniel opened his eyes to see more guards come it. They removed the broken restraints and picked him up and then re-fastened him to the bed with new ones. This time they were the heavy duty ones and he knew he would not be able to break them.

Daniel looked over at Jason and Celestia when the guards finally left. Celestia seemed to be calming down, he turned away and closed his eyes. If there was no hope of escape then they were better off dead. If only to deny Jared from doing to Celestia what he had done to him over the past three weeks. Daniel had not missed his implication that soon he would have Jason too. Jared was beyond sadistic and cruel. He obviously enjoyed the pain and misery he inflicted upon others.

Daniel was sickened by all that had happened in the past three to four weeks, it was no wonder that people joined the resistance. How many other innocent people?s lives had Jared and other?s like him destroyed? Even he was guilty. If he hadn?t attempted to catch the resistance ship that had been waiting for Sandra?s ship, Nathan?s escape plan might have worked. He felt sickened by the knowledge that his own actions were partly responsible for the mess he was in.

How many lives had he destroyed over the years? Sure he could claim he was just doing his duty as a Commander. But Daniel knew things were never so simple. Had he really been unaware? Or had he fooled himself into thinking things were okay. Now he would never know.

Celestia pulled away from Jason. ?[B]I?m okay now, thank you,[/B]? she said.

?[B]Are you sure?[/B]? Jason asked.

Celestia nodded. She didn?t know what to think. All this time she had thought that her father was dead. She got up and walked over to Daniel?s bed. Once she was taken to the capital she probably would never see him again. Celestia sat down on the bed next to Daniel. He opened his eyes and looked at her when she sat down.

?[B]Are you okay?[/B]? she asked. Daniel nodded that he was. Celestia paused and then continued, ?[B]You?ve been avoiding me since you arrived. Was it because you are my father?[/B]?

Daniel looked away. ?[B]I knew who you were as you look exactly like your mother. But I did not know that you were my daughter.[/B]? He said.

?[B]I see. Truthfully I don?t remember you.[/B]? Celestia said. ?[B]I?ve had dreams where you are in them, so when I first saw you I wondered if we had met before.[/B]?

He was completely surprised when Celestia leaned forward and then hugged him tightly.

?[B]I?m so sorry Daniel.[/B]? When she let go he was further surprised to see tears running down her face.

Daniel felt tears running down the side of his face as well, ?[B]Don?t be,[/B]? He hesitated too choked up to continue for a minute, ?[B]If I hadn?t stopped the ship waiting for Nathan you wouldn?t be here.[/B]? Celestia held him while they both cried.

?[B]You had no way of knowing what would happen. Please don?t blame yourself.[/B]? She finally said.

Daniel was speechless. How could she be so kind and understanding after all that had happened to her? He would eventually end up dead once Jared had finished probing his memories, where she would be a prisoner the rest of her life. Celestia?s mother had been just as kind and understanding. It was why he had liked her. Most of the women and men he had dealt with on other worlds were petty and selfish. He had thought she was an exception, but now he knew better. He hugged her back as much as the restraints would allow, if only he had known that she was his daughter.

Jason watched as Celestia and Daniel talked and then held each other while they cried. So Celestia?s father was an alien. He had never expected anything like that. It didn?t change how he felt about her, but it certainly was a surprise. It seemed so strange that Daniel was her father. Jason still wasn?t use to how the Versilan?s aged differently. He didn?t look old enough to be her father. But then he had been surprised to find out that Nathan was two hundred and sixty years old. He hadn?t looked any older than fifty!

Jason sighed. He didn?t think Celestia or Daniel had realized just what Jared had said. Unless he misunderstood, he had only said that Celestia was being sent to the capital. Jared had clearly stated that he was only along for the trip and that soon he would belong to him. Jason knew he wasn?t as smart and intelligent as Celestia. So there was no reason for him to be kept with her.

He hoped he was wrong. Jason sighed again. No he wasn?t going to say anything to Celestia on the trip to the capital. He didn?t want what little time they had left together ruined by the knowledge that they would most likely be forcibly separated soon. Jason cringed, what really frightened him was the implication that he would belong to Jared. He knew what Jared had been doing to Daniel. He was pretty sure that the only reason Jared had left him alone was to wait for the genetic enhancements to be finished. He knew perfectly well that the only reason they had bothered to change him was so he would live longer. No, he definitely didn?t want Celestia to know just how terrified he was at the prospect of being Jared?s diversion permanently. Jason got up and went over to join Celestia and Daniel.

Commander Kim read through the orders indicating that she was to continue working with Commander Sandra. Apparently they would be investigating the next sector together. Kim put the hand-held device down. She curled up on the sofa in her quarters and cried once again. An elite escort would be arriving tomorrow to take the two humans to the capital. She saw that Jared was assigned to escort them. There was nothing to indicate what was going to happen with Daniel. Kim sighed. She had left a message for William indicating she wished to chat with him, but he had not responded. It had been over three weeks since she left the initial message. She sighed again; she wasn?t even sure why she had contacted him. There was nothing he could do anyway. Kim got up and went into her room to get ready for bed.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=Red]I love this chapter. Even though Jared's such a meanie, I love how you have both Jason and Celestia starting to realize how much they care for eachother. :catgirl: [/COLOR][/QUOTE]I?ll second that, I?m a sucker for that sort of thing. Sometimes it seems like your story doesn?t have enough on exploring the relationship between those two, it?s something I hope you plan to expand on in the RPG. I know I?m already thinking on how I?m going to work on the relationship between the two characters you convinced me to play. ;)[QUOTE=SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue'] Kim sighed. She had left a message for William indicating she wished to chat with him, but he had not responded. It had been over three weeks since she left the initial message. She sighed again; she wasn?t even sure why she had contacted him. There was nothing he could do anyway. Kim got up and went into her room to get ready for bed.[/COLOR][/quote]As for this part, is it perhaps a foreshadowing of yet another character in the story? I get the distinct impression that William is going to be important in the next couple of chapters.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom']I?ll second that, I?m a sucker for that sort of thing. Sometimes it seems like your story doesn?t have enough on exploring the relationship between those two, it?s something I hope you plan to expand on in the RPG. I know I?m already thinking on how I?m going to work on the relationship between the two characters you convinced me to play. ;)[/quote]It's definately something I intend to work on in the RPG. ^_~ And I certainly hope you do as well.




[B]Chapter thirty-two:[/B]


?[B]Good morning Sub-Commander Jared,[/B]? Sandra said as Jared entered the bridge. ?[B]I trust that everything is ready?[/B]?

Jared sat down at his seat to her side and replied, ?[B]Yes Commander, all the preparations are complete. Everything is included in the report I sent to you a few minutes ago.[/B]?

Sandra pulled up the screen in front of her chair and briefly looked at the report. ?[B]Good, I just received a signal indicating that the elite force has dropped out of hyper space. The ship will be here in a few minutes. The humans are still in sickbay waiting for you to collect them. I?ve been informed by the elite force that they will only be landing long enough to for you to board with the humans so have a good trip Jared.[/B]? Sandra smiled.

?[B]At once Sandra,[/B]? Jared replied. He got up and left the bridge. His stuff for the trip was already waiting in the hangar bay. All he needed to do was collect both Celestia and Jason. Jared ordered some guards to be waiting at the hangar bay. He wouldn?t need any help to bring both of them down.

Jared was almost to sickbay when the ship shuddered and all the lights went out. A split second later the emergency lights turned on. Just what the hell was going on? Jared tried to contact the bridge but even the communications were out. Something was wrong. Jared ran to the sickbay. Quickly he entered the manual override code and then forced the doors open. It was utter chaos in sickbay. Medical personal were working like crazy to get the equipment working again. A couple of them were attempting to open the security door to the room where Jason, Celestia and Daniel were.

Jared had a bad feeling about what was happening. He ran towards the door to help them. Halfway there he was momentarily blinded by the light from a transportation door opening in the room where the prisoners were. Jared pulled out his laser gun and took aim at the observation window. Using the transportation door could only mean one thing. It wasn?t an elite force that was here, but rather a resistance ship bent on rescuing the humans. For the transportation door to be working meant that somehow they had disabled the ships systems and lowered the defense shields.

He aimed to the top of the window, as he did not want to accidentally shoot Celestia, Jason or Daniel. The shot shattered the window sending pieces of the hardened plastic all over the people in the room. Four Versilan?s had come through the transportation door. Two of them had released Daniel from the restraints and were taking him through the transportation door. Jared fired hitting one of the rescuers. The other ones took aim at Jared and he was forced to dodge to avoid being shot. Jared took aim again and shot another one of the rescuers as he was going through the transportation door. He fell forward into the door which then shut behind him. Jared got up and went over to check. They had escaped! Damn them! Jared turned and left sickbay, he had to get to the bridge!

It was utter chaos when Jared finally got to the bridge. Not only had the resistance completely disabled their ship but the other battleship as well. They had managed to restore a few critical systems, but they were still essentially helpless. Other than life support, basic communications and short-range scanners, everything was still offline. Not only had they managed to rescue Celestia, Jason and Daniel, but they had attacked Kim?s ship as well. According to the crew she had been forcibly dragged through a transportation door that had appeared on the bridge.

A few of her crew had tried to help her only to be shot. No one had been killed as the resistance had only used the stun setting. But still, for them to be able to pull off what they had done was astonishing. Jared found it hard to believe. He worked furiously to help fix the ships systems. There was no way he was going to allow them to escape with Jason. He would hunt them down no matter where they went. Furious Jared hit the console at his seat on the bridge with such force that it shattered. Once he caught those responsible for taking Jason from him, they would pay dearly. Jared moved to another console to continue working on restoring the ships systems.

Celestia didn?t know what to think when all the lights went out. Emergency lights came on and suddenly a transportation door opened right in the sickbay room! Before she could even react several Versilan?s came through. One of them ordered her and Jason to go through the door. Two of the others went over and started removing Daniel?s restraints.

When Celestia hesitated one of them said, ?[B]Move it![/B]?

When she didn?t move he grabbed her arm and started dragging her towards the door. The other one shoved Jason towards the door as well. Celestia was being pushed through when the observation window shattered sending pieces flying all over in the room. Startled Celestia turned around and stepped backwards at the same time. She raised her arms to shield her face from the flying fragments. When the fragments stopped hitting her arms she lowered them only to see Jared standing on the other side of the broken observation window. She cried out a warning as he fired, hitting one of the men moving Daniel. The other two turned and started firing back at Jared, forcing him to dodge.

Instinctively Celestia caught the one who was shot, his weight caused her to step backwards several steps. She had barely stepped back through the transportation door when several other Versilan?s on the other side quickly took the injured one from her. One of them grabbed her arm and started to pull her away.

Celestia fought him, ?[B]Let me go! I have to get Jason![/B]? She tried to pull free to go back through the transportation door, but before she had moved a step Jason came through the door followed closely by Daniel and two more of the Versilan?s. The last one was halfway through when he fell forward from being shot from behind. The transportation door shut and Celestia didn?t even get a chance to ask what was going on as several more guards arrived and dragged her and Jason and Daniel away. They were taken to what appeared to be quarters and locked in.

Commander Kim opened a communication link to respond to the elite force?s signal. It was a simple request to send confidential information directly to her. The authorization code given was correct so she entered the code to unlock the system to allow the data transfer. The transfer of data had barely finished when suddenly everything went black. A split second later the emergency lights came on. What had just happened?

Kim issued orders to the bridge crew to determine what had happened. She immediately attempted to access the data she had been sent. But nothing happened. Kim wondered if it had contained a virus, but if that were so then the elite force must have been taken over. When further checking showed that all the main data in the entire computer system appeared to be erased, she knew her hunch was correct. There was no way everything on the ship would crash and be deleted at the same time.

Kim didn?t get the chance to speculate further as a transportation door appeared on the bridge. They were being boarded! She pulled out her weapon to fire but was hit by a stun blast, which caused her weapon to go flying. Kim tried to resist as several of the Versilan?s who came through the transportation door grabbed her and started dragging her towards the door. Several of her officers tried to stop them only to be stunned by the assailants. Kim struggled but she was too weakened by the stun blast. Why in the world would they go to such lengths to kidnap her? It made no sense! She could understand them trying to rescue the humans, especially since she had read the report regarding how smart Celestia was, but her? What possible use could they have for her?

Kim winced as she was dragged through the transportation door. They took her to an officer?s quarters and upon opening the door shoved her into the room. She was still partially paralyzed from the stun blast and she fell to the floor unable to move. Kim heard the sound of the door shutting and locking behind her. It took her a moment to realize she wasn?t alone. [/COLOR]

[Rachmaninoff]

Ah, so that?s how they end up free from the Empire. At least for now that is. I had wondered about that after reading and signing up for your RPG based on it. ;)

As for the actual chapter, I like how you told it from several different viewpoints. So out of curiosity, are there any more chapters before the RPG starts? I?m assuming there is at least one based on what the others have written in their signups.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='Rachmaninoff']So out of curiosity, are there any more chapters before the RPG starts? I?m assuming there is at least one based on what the others have written in their signups.[/quote]You are correct. There are two more chapters. Well one after this one that is. ^_~




[B]Chapter thirty-three:[/B]


William watched as Kim was put in the quarters with the others through the observation monitor. He hadn?t seen Kim for nearly ten years but she looked the same. With her short brown hair, oval shaped face and slender build she was just as pretty as he remembered. He had been surprised to get her message three weeks ago. William hadn?t dared to answer. When Celestia had been started on genetic enhancement High Command had already issued the order for her to be brought to the capital.

The resistance had lost a lot of good members when Nathan had been found out and Daniel?s mother had been interrogated. By the time he had found out it had been to late to save everyone. William had carried out the plan to take over the elite force?s ship anyway. He had known the risks, but based on what Nathan had sent him the resistance couldn?t afford to allow Celestia to continue to work for High Command. Even if had meant killing her. William sighed. He just hoped he could convince Celestia to help the resistance. After all she had been through it wouldn?t surprise him if she wanted nothing to do with the resistance.

Before Celestia could even attempt to go and see if the woman who had been brought in was okay the door opened once again and several armed Versilans entered the room. To her surprise they helped the unknown woman up off the floor and moved her to a sofa. Once all of them were sitting on the sofa the door opened once again and another man entered. He looked a lot like Jared with silver blonde hair, but his expression though stern was quite kind.

Celestia started to speak but the unknown woman beat her to it by saying, ?[B]William! What the hell is going on here?[/B]?

He motioned to the other Versilans who took up positions next to the door. ?[B]Surely you don?t need me to explain things Commander. I would have thought it was quite obvious what was going on[/B].? He paused for a moment before continuing, ?[B]Though I?ll explain things for Celestia and Jason.[/B]? William pulled out several hand-held devices and after turning them on handed one to each of them.

?[B]I?m sure that all of you have heard the rumors about what High Command does to anyone who doesn?t agree with their plan to take over other worlds. I?m sure that Daniel will recognize the first name on the list. You can read the list later if you want. Between the list of people who were executed and those who were enslaved when their world was taken over, there are over ten billion people on that list. And that only includes the ones who had their names registered in the system, like Jason and Celestia.[/B]?

William ignored the startled looks on their faces. ?[B]I?ll explain starting with you Celestia. You?ve been registered as belonging to High Command?s scientific experimental laboratory. Now that your genetic enhancement is complete you are scheduled to be used to further enhance their technology. I assure you, once you are in their hands, you don?t want to know what they will do to you to ensure your cooperation.[/B]?

William turned and looked directly at Jason and continued. ?[B]You Jason have been registered as belonging to Jared.[/B]? William didn?t miss the look of terror on Jason?s face. He ignored it.

?[B]As for you Daniel, I?m sure you already know that you have been turned over to Jared to do with as he sees fit. The only person who isn?t on the list yet is you Commander Kim. Though since I was already under suspicion as being part of the resistance it would have only been a matter of time until you were investigated due to your previous relationship with me. And just like Daniel, you would have been stripped of your command once the truth about my being a member of the resistance was known. Which is why you are here. My original plan only included rescuing Celestia and Jason, but when you contacted me I decided to bring you along. I don?t care if you believe me or not. If you desire it we will drop you off at a remote system. I think you know what will happen if you return to High Command, otherwise why would you bother to contact me? The choice is yours Commander.[/B]?

William watched as Celestia, Jason and Daniel looked back at him with sheer disbelief as if they couldn?t believe what was happening, that they were finally free. ?[B]I know that this must be a lot to take in but I want both you Celestia and you Jason to consider working with the resistance. Although the plan to take over Earth has been postponed for the moment I assure you High Command will eventually invade your home world. I can?t guarantee that we will succeed in saving your world, or any of the other less developed systems.[/B]?

William sighed and continued, ?[B]Celestia, Nathan sent me the reports regarding your testing. You posses the ability to really make a difference, I don?t think you realize just how important you are. Do you even realize that the program I used to disable the two battleships in order to rescue you was one of the one?s Nathan had you write as a test? Your program with a few modifications went through the ships systems and literally erased everything in the ships computers. If the battle ship didn?t have independent system programs on a separate crystal as a back up they would not be able to fix the ship until another arrived with the necessary programming.[/B]?

Once again William paused and then continued, ?[B]I also received the reports regarding you as well Jason. You already posses the necessary skills to serve as Celestia?s assistant, but with enhanced learning you could help even more. Though unlike High Command, even if you didn?t posses the skills we would not take you away from Celestia. If the two of you wish to stay together then that is quite acceptable.[/B]?

William turned to address Daniel, ?[B]As for you Daniel, truthfully we had not planned on rescuing you. But since you were already there in sickbay my men took it upon themselves to bring you along anyway. As a former Commander in the Versilan military your unique skills would be quite useful, you can?t return to High Command, but if you do not wish to be part of the resistance then we will provide you with new identity papers and drop you off at one of the outer most rim worlds. I can?t guarantee you will be safe, but that?s your decision to make.[/B]? William paused as the door opened and one of his men came in told him something and then left.

William turned back to the four sitting on the sofa. ?[B]I?ll leave you all to think about this. Since we won?t arrive near a location that we can drop any of you off for several days I suggest you all think my offer over. I apologize for keeping you all locked up in here, but if you decide to not stay with us the less you know the better.[/B]? William turned and left. The other armed Versilans left as well.[/COLOR]