Writing [Poem] Somber Love [G - questionable double-meanings]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][B]Somber Love[/B]

Sink your teeth into my heart
And pull out a garden maze
Laying in each other's arms
What a way to pass the days
Somber melodies inside
Reflecting off my heavy blood
Now the light of day dissipates
Night's sweet black now starts to flood

Lanterns twinkle far in space
Shining spirits in my eyes
Longing to lay next to you
Saving me from this dark disguise
Sell my soul to feel your warmth
A face my mind never forgets
Praying you'll be in the water
When I'm casting out my nets

Will you be here in my meadow
When the wind sings me to sleep
As the sorrow is forgotten
And the water seems not so deep
And the volcanoes stop erupting
And the earth ceases to quake
When winter comes to chill the veins
Only in your arms to I wish to shake

Washed on to the shore
Of an island out at see
Forever I would wait alone
Unless you were to come to me
A kiss of death could be so sweet
But I will never run away
Because there is a greater life
Long as your piece remains in play

Now the sun rises from the East
Casting dull warmth across my skin
All alone once again
Now my existence feels so thin
Glancing up through clouded skies
As the color shifts to day
Will this always be just a dream
Once again my mind at bay[/COLOR]

Please R&R

[visualkei]

Hey. That's a pretty good poem. I like the beginning of each stanza. And the overally poem is not cheesy like most love poems.

My advice, if you wanna change anything, is to take out a few words, and do some spellchecking.


:cool: