Bully Problem

[cancer]

Well, that's my trouble currently. A bully. He's in the same grade as me, a bit older than me, and he won't leave me alone. It seems he only messes with me when someone such as his girlfriend or friend is with him. He drives around in his truck and when he sees me he will stop or turn around and harass me. He's waiting for an opportunity to beat my face in. His problem? He just doesn't like me. However, I've never done anything to him. I'm just an easy target I suppose. He lifts weights, and I'm not much of a fighter, so I really don't know what to do. He's been giving me problems for a few months now. Does anyone have any advice for how to handle such a bully?

[Starwind]

I had a deal with bullies a few years ago, but that has stopped as of the start of high school. Why did it stop? I don't know. It just did. Maybe it had to do with going to a school where no one knew me.

Anyway, if this guy is going after you when others are with him, then he's trying to make himself look big. It feeds his ego to watch you squirm. Whenever someone tries tos tart crap with me I just get in his face. He takes a step forward you take two. If he looks ready to fight, then you need to look more then happy to ablige. Sure, he might actually hit you, but if you just keep backing off you might as well be encouraging him. God knows I got the crap beat out of me more then once. But let me say that it's better then living in agony.

And if your really worried about fighting, don't be. It's not as hard as one would think. Just move fast and hit hard. Muscles got little to do with it. Sure he hits harder, but that doesn't matter if he can't hit you. And if all else fails, shot for the soft spot between his legs.

The point it don't let him have his way. If you do then it'll never get better. Even if he beats you up, you stand up one time and suddenly your less of a target cause you won't just sit there and take it anymore.

[Albert Flasher]

[COLOR=Sienna]Your description is vague... what kind of bully is he? Is he the kind of person who could seriously end up assaulting you, or the generic insecure type who just throws insults at you? I've delt with both, and know how it is. The severe type - the real losers - are best to avoid. I tried fighting back, and it doesn't help, even if you do kick their ***. Try the age-old practice of 'telling an adult.' Adults generally know how to deal with these problems, and hopefully you can work something out.

Now the other kind... the little slugs who constantly throw names your way, who identify the one part of you they don't consider normal and relentlessly assault it. Don't let em' get to you. I don't know, maybe I'm unique like this, but whenever someone said something to me that they intended as an insult, I just laughed it off... because no matter what they say, they're only covering up their won insecurities. You say he lifts weights; why do you think he does this? Either because he has an exceptionally small penis, or because he's completely insecure about his image and the way he looks to other people. He's the pathetic one, not you - as long as you think of it that way, you'll be fine.

But like I said, in the rare case the person means buisness, consult your local adult.[/COLOR]

[Zen]

[color=navy][size=1]

I've never had much of a problem with bullies in my lifetime. The ones I did have, I fought and it was never a problem again. The ones who didn't go that far, I simply out-smarted them by having better insults than them and when they decided that they wanted to knuckle up, I didn't back down, which left them with nothing else to do but leave me alone.

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to show them that you could really not give a *explitive deleted* about what they say or think. If they come up and get in your face, then you should raise the appropriate finger and say [b]"Go find something better to do, ***-wipe."[/b]

Bullies tend to go after people that obviously have low-confidence. In which case, you gotta prove them wrong and 'act' cocky and big yourself, which will probably turn them off of you. And, hell. If all else fails, a quick strike to the throat or nose would probably put him out of it for a while. Like [b]Starwind[/b] said. It's not about how big you are or how strong you are. Hell, I'm 5'11 and 160 lbs and took out a football lineman who's about 6'5'' and 240 pounds, granted I'm a martial artist, but still. It's about quickness and skill more than power and strenght. Be confident in yourself and don't back down from a fight. You can't be scared of him, and you gotta carry the attitude that your hot stuff and ain't scared of nobody.

That's my advice atleast. But I think it'd be best to avoid confrontation if possible. If it comes down to it and you lose, atleast you went down like a man, and nobody would be able to say you ran away from it. But, again. This should be a last resort.

Peace.

- [b]The Boss[/b]

[/color][/size]

[Retribution]

[size=1]I find that if the bully isn't really violent towards you but just talks alot of trash, ignoring them is the best way to go. A "F**k you" might only encourage them to keep going. My mother taught me that bullies pick on people for a human response. If you deprive them of that response, it's not fun for them anymore.

My personal experience was that a few seniors kept making fun of me, but I acted like they did exist and kept talking to whomever I was talking to at the moment. A week later they gave up.

It might not work in all cases, but it's certainly something to consider if you're not looking for a militant way to deal with them.[/size]

[Charles]

Yep, he's just using you to look good in front of others. This is self-defeating really, because no one really looks up to someone like that. It's really pathetic when someone feels so insignificant about themselves that they can't impress others with their own positive qualities, but instead have to tear down others.

Your best bet is to stand up to him; I seriously doubt he wants to get into a real physical altercation with you. He's probably not even thinking about that--he sees you as an easy target that won't give him any trouble.

If you stand up to him, he'll probably make a snide comment and back down; he probably doesn't want to go through the trouble of fighting. Mentally hurting someone is more subtle than physically throttling someone. He probably doesn't even realize how badly he's hurting you right now; just because he lifts weights doesn't mean he's the kind of person who will take it to the next level and attack you. Plus, I doubt that beating you up will make him endearing to his girlfriend, if she's any kind of person.

I'd try approaching him while he's alone, since that's when he'll be most reasonable. There won't be an audience for him to play to. Be stern but polite. Look him in the eyes and make it clear through conversation that it's time for him to cut the crap.

Even still, you run the risk of getting your face smashed in, but it's better that you take that risk and be a man about it, rather than spinelessly endure his bullying. Have some integrity. Have some self-respect. Don't be anyone's door mat. If he beats you up (which I doubt he will) and you still stand up to him after that, then he'll either respect you or think you're crazy and move on.

Taking a stand will do wonders for your self esteem.

[cancer]

I thank you all for the advice so far, it's helped somewhat to reinforce my self esteem and such. Here is a link to his site just so you can see what kind of person he is: [COLOR=Red][URL=http://www.myspace.com/joshyoung07]Bully's Myspace[/URL] [/COLOR]

Yea, I think that if I see him when he is alone I will step up to him. Also, I think I'm going to start lifting weights, because that may help as well.

[Zen]

[color=navy][size=1]

The guy looks like a real douchebag. Frankly put, I don't think he'd put up much of a challenge. I mean, when you say weight lifter, I think of somebody bigger than that. I've seen your myspace aswell and I don't think there's much of a physical difference there. Honestly, I think you could take him.

But that's besides the point. Yeah, I think it'd be safest to confront him alone, as previously mentioned. No crowd to boost him up and humiliate you in front of would really help things out. If he says anything about not wanting to be alone with you, then he obviously doesn't want to be a man about it.

Also, weight lifting wouldn't hurt at all. Heh.[/color][/size]

[visualkei]

Sucks to hear that, man. Well, here's my question, are you afraid or intimidated by him, or just annoyed?

I think you can either wait it out, ignore him, he'll get tired of harassing you and go away. Or you can confront that jackass. Confrontation is pretty hard, especially if you're intimidated by the other person. Butterflies, knees get wobbly, horrible stuff like that, hehehe. But if you confront that person, and even if you get the crap beat out of you, you'll probably feel better about yourself later.

And that guy's page, some of the lame things on it, makes me want to punch him, too.


Hope things start looking up for you.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue]If he never bothers you when he?s alone then I would have to venture that he?s really just a coward who?s trying to look all tough and cool in front of his friends. I?ve had very little trouble with bullies, but usually the ones who really are out to get you will beat you up the first chance they get regardless of whether another person is around or not.

I?d do what Charles suggests and approach him while he?s alone. Without others there for him to look ?cool? in front of he?s likely to be more reasonable. He may lift weights, but looking at that link you provided he certainly doesn?t look all that big. I mean he?s been harassing you for a couple months and he?s yet to actually attack you right?

He may react to you asserting yourself by attacking you and he might even win, but like the others already said, at least he can?t truthfully claim you are a coward. Right now by not doing anything, you?re indirectly reinforcing his belief that you are an easy target.

The only thing I would worry about is if your confrontation makes him more vicious, based on what you?ve said that doesn?t seem likely, but if he did start threatening you, at that point it might be best to voice your concerns to an adult.

[B]Edit:[/B] Just thought I'd clarify what I mean by an adult. I'm reffering to someone in charge whether it's the principal at your school or say the police if need be. [/COLOR]

[Delta]

[COLOR=#656446]Wish I didn't click that link. My senses were offended by that atrocious color scheme. *shakes head*

Hmm, I'm no shrink but since you said he only bullies you when he's with his friends, he's probably just trying to build his image up. It lets 'em see that he's in control of someone and indirectly proposes something along the lines of "you HAVE to be friends with me 'cause I'm pretty influential".

[u]Bottom line:[/u] The guy's insecure.

[u]Cure:[/u] See Retribution's post.
[u]But Delta recommends:[/u] A kick in the balls. Maximum force. Really, [b]cancer[/b], even paraplegics can take on somebody with a build like that; it just takes a well-placed kick, yeah?[/COLOR]

[Anakoni Stark]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Red] If the guy picks on you for no reason whatsoever, the guy has zero self essteem.

Trust me, I know this stuff, I've been picked on by an entire english class [even the teacher], no joke.

What you do is, one of three things.

1. Ignore him, go on with whatever you were doing. he'll eventually "implode" and give up.

2. just charge at the guy and kick him in the balls [voted the world's best (and painful) reality check]

3. pull some really nasty prank on him [like max out his credit card or slash the tires of his car (and egg it)]

I honestly say go with the first one, if that doesnt work go with the second, then the third.

if he picks on you with his friends around, that means....he's a very very sad dude. he just wants to be accepted by his "peers" [what a loser]

and those colours of his space made my eyes bleed.

well there's Mr. Fury's advice/input.

good luck!

Leon Fury.

Now: Like Eating Glass
Artist: Bloc Party
Album: Silent Alarm[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Aberinkula]

I had the same problem once. They only do it because their stuborn, retarted, and inconsidorate. Plus they fell like they are not axcepted by everyone and tries to creat an images for themselves. To *********g hell with them.

My problem was also verbal. dumbutts all of them. Some even feel that they must be feared or even intimadating of tough. Some are but thats just touching the suface. I had that D.A.R.E program last school year in 6th grade.

[Guest Sting]

Bullies.. Ahh, those were the days when I got to outshine them. In my opinion, from the way he looks, he isn't that strong really. He is only doing it because like you said, you are an "easy target" but get this: I was also an easy target!.. Or so they thought. I won't tell what I done, it's really.. really bad but I will say this. From experience, if he steps up to you again, deck his eyes man. Make him hurt and don't stop until he begs for mercy! Sorry, my past coming back..

Look, you want the "good" advice, here it is man. Ok, so, he only gets you when he is with his gf.. Then, he is a show-off. He probably won't do anything to you, he is just being "macho" infront of his girl to impress her. If she was smart, she would lose the punk and go with someone.. hmm.. better. But, it's your choice. My advice is to lay back and if he is with his gf, and he starts something, just get in his face, back him down a little and see what his reaction is. Now, be ready because he MIGHT try to hit you. But, if he's the type of bully I think he is, if you back him down and let him know what's up then he will leave you alone :D

Hope I helped somewhat man. Good luck.