Writing Otaku Fiction [M-LVDAS]

[Zen]

[color=red][b]
[center]
[u]Disclaimer[/u]

The following is a complete parody. None of the following material should be taken as a serious statement or insult. The following contains excessive violence, language, drug and alcohol usage, and sexual content. Viewer discretion is highly advised. Again, this is all a joke, meant for the enjoyment of those who choose to read. For mature eyes only.[/color][/b]




[img]http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/2180/otakufiction3nh.jpg[/img][/center]



[b]The following takes place in an advanced, but declining, Otaku City (alá Enter the Net).[/b]




[b][size=1]Otaku: 1. a soft, greasy, shapeless anime fan.

2. An active member on the Otakuboards.

Also See: Fangirl, Fanboy, Geek. Person with no Life.[/b]



INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING 1.

A normal day in the Otaku Café. Just a normal, average coffee style place. A number of members sat around idly drinking coffee and eating their breakfast. The digitized food was about as necessary as in real life, as was the caffeine. The place was not crowded, but still confined a number of people.

Two of these people are AC!D!C and Athena. AC!D!C speaks in a gruff, unthoughtful manner. He removes a flask from his coat pocket and ?Irish?s? up his coffee. Athena has a strange speaking manner. Almost frantic with a confusing accent, as if born in the country and raised in the city; everything she does contradicts something she did.

The two are sitting in a booth. They speak in a jumble of slurs and curse words, almost as though if they were on television, their conversation would be inaudible.

AC!D!C
Nah nah nah. I ain?t doin? that shit.

Athena
Quit being a pussy, Joe! Every fucking time it?s ?Nah, I?m through with that shit? and as soon as we?re in the pinch you pull your fucking guns and hack a shithole message board and get our asses about banned! Have some balls!

AC!D!C
You don?t gotta fucking lecture me on it! Okay, I make a couple shit mistakes. But this shit... it?s just... heh....

Athena
Ah don?t act like your not gonna get shit faced and forget about it anyways, Joe! Come on!

AC!D!C
Shut the hell up for a minute why don?t ya?! Maybe I?m tired of fogettin?. Maybe I?m ready to fucking remember something for once. Ya know?!

Athena
You know what you fucking sound like right now, Joe?

AC!D!C
A mother fucker who know?s what he?s talking about, that?s what! Now get off my back about, I ain?t doin? this shit.

Athena
You sound like a fucking n00b that?s what. All ?Im sooo l33t h4xx0z I dun even gotta pwn lttle shit!!!11!1"

AC!D!C
Well fuck it. Ya ain?t gonna hear it again for sometime then. I ain?t doin? the shit no more, so it ya ain?t gonna hear it no more. How?s that sound?

Athena

Hehehe. Maybe after tonight...?

The two begin laughing to one another, as if their conversation meant nothing.

AC!D!C (with a smile)
I guess I got all night to l33t speak then. Heh. Those poor poor n00bz.

A waitress comes by with carrying a pitcher of coffee.

Waitress
Would you like some more?

Athena (holds out mug)
Yup.

The waitress leaves and Athena turns back to AC!D!C He downs his coffee and looks to Athena. Giving a deep breath, he continues with the argument as if nothing had happened.




AC!D!C

I mean, the way it is now, this shit?s more of a risk than flaming n00bs at another place. I mean those places are easier. I mean, at shit boards, and what not, you ain?t gotta worry about mods banning ya for flaming morons. I mean, fuck, they don?t give a shit. The mods are doin? the flaming themselves on other fucking boards, like they give a shit.

Athena
And you got away with that shit, right?

AC!D!C
Fucking right I did. I mean, a fucking guy can go into those shit boards, no posts, no friends, no shit at all, but get big ups for pwning n00bs, just because he knows what the fuck he?s saying. So a fuckin? new member can get in with the higher ups and shit on those pieces.

Athena
So, did the guy get in with the mods and shit?

AC!D!C
I don?t fucking know. It doesn?t fucking matter, the point of the story is, those other piece of shit boards don?t matter, and the mods don?t care.

Athena
So your saying you wanna go pwn n00bs and flame at little shitholes like that?

AC!D!C
Nah, people who do that shit are losers with no lives and no friends.

Athena
So your saying you wanna go fuck with people on MySpace?

AC!D!C
Where the fuck did MySpace come into this shit? Fuck no. That?s even worse. I have some face to maintain, ya know. That stupid ass Tom guy?ll just ban our IP Address and I won?t be able to talk to a shitload of people for sometime. Nah, fuck that.


Athena
So then what? You just wanna sit around and watch those people sit around and piss you off all day? Do nothing about it?

AC!D!C
Hahaha. Well... I wish.

Athena
Then do!

AC!D!C (Calls to server)
*sigh* Yo, Dude! More?

Waitress (walks over)
I?m a girl.... (fills mugs with coffee and walks away)

AC!D!C (looks to waitress walking away, questioning the bishounen avatar skin)
Well. Heh.

Athena
Here. The Otakuboards.

AC!D!C
Yeah, I mean. I got some good connections here and all, but still... *sigh* Well, lots of peeps get away with it. But still, I don?t have a good enough name for it.

Athena
We can get some people to back us up....

AC!D!C
Yeah.... and nobody ever really does shit here... It?ll be great! Fucking great!

Athena (leans over table)
So... you wanna do it?



AC!D!C (leans over)
Yeah... Let?s do it.

Athena
Love ya, ya bastard.

AC!D!C
I fucking love you too. Haha!

Taking a swig of his Irish coffee, he stood up on the table and began screaming out.

AC!D!C
All you sons of bitches listen up! I?m tired of your shit!

Athena summons a large gatling gun from her net space and begins firing it into the air

Athena
You turds got a thing to say about it!



[b][size=2]Otaku Fiction


Scene 2[/b][/size]





INT. Camaro (MOVING) - MORNING 2.

An old, memory chugging search engine in the shape of an old white Camaro BARRELS down a homeless-ridden street in Otaku City. In the front seat are two young fellas -- one white with a Rock Lee avatar dressed up in a black suit. , the other in a black and white Uzumaki Naruto dressed in a similar suit. -- Their names are The Boss (Lee) and Retribution (Naruto). Retribution is operating the Camaro-esque search engine.


Retribution
Okay... so tell me again about the n00bing there...

The Boss
Well, what do you want to know?

Retribution
So, they allow it there?

The Boss
Well, yeah, but only to a certain extent. Your allowed to post intro threads, but they don?t want you flaming people in those kinda threads. You can argue and flame in a normal thread, but ya can?t just come out of nowhere and start saying ?Uh!11! Ur soooo fukking n00b!? and shit, ya know?

Retribution
And those are the normal threads?

The Boss
Yeah, it?s like this. You can argue with a person and call them an asshole, basically, cuz they ain?t got no one there to tell you not to. You can l33t speak, but that won?t get ya no respect, and it?s just generally ?I don?t give fuck? with everyone there.

Retribution
Damn man... I gotta see it.

The Boss
It?s pretty fucking hilarious dude. But you know the funniest thing about that shit hole?

Retribution
What is that?

The Boss
It?s the little things. Those small things that get ya pissed off at ?em.

Retribution
Such as?

The Boss
Well, ya know what they call a post there?

Retribution
Three sentences to a paragraph at least....?

The Boss
Nah, see they got the n00b members and mods there, so they don?t give a shit. A post for them is one sentence... or even a fucking word, dude.

Retribution
Wow dude. That?s some stuff. Heh...

The Boss
I know right? And get this. Ya know what an RPG is for them?

Retribution
What?

The Boss
They?ll take an anime and say ?Okay... now so and so is attacking us. I?m Yusuke!? and people will FUCKING JOIN!

Retribution
No freaking way man...

The Boss
Yes fucking way, dude. It?s so fucked up that I became a mod there. Little ole Mike.

Retribution
Jeez man.... that?s when you know it?s bad.

The Boss
Yeah.... wait no! What the fuck, man!

Retribution
J/K man. Haha. But anyways. What about the art studio there?

The Boss
I don?t know. I didn?t go to the art studio... but you know what they do have!


Retribution
What?

The Boss
A fucking Hentai section.

Retribution
Ah, crap... uuch....

INT. Morning

Retribution and The Boss are parked outside a large Thread Building in the Otaku Lounge district. The two walk around the car and open the trunk, taking out two cutsomized mod-guns in the form of two .45 Magnums, loading and cocking them

Retribution
Now be careful with that thing. It?s not everyday I can just lend those out.

The Boss
Fuck you, Alex. It?s not like I?m a fucking new member....

Retribution
I know, I know.... I?m just saying... there?s going be a few of them up there, and you have to be careful. You know how to use it, don?t you?

The Boss (points mod-gun at Retri)
Ya wanna find out?

Retribution
Stop fucking around Mike. Onix sent us to get that coding back, and he?s taking orders from James. We CAN NOT! CAN NOT! CAN NOT fuck this up, you got it?

The Boss (lowers gun and looks up to the building)
Yeah yeah. Don?t worry.... so how many are there gonna be?

Retribution
Four... Maybe five.... why?

The Boss (cocks gun)
Ah.... just wondering. Haha.


With that, the two close the trunk and begin up a set of stairs into the thread building.

[/size]




[center][b]**************************[/center][/b]

[color=navy][size=1]



Well, there goes the first two scenes. Me and Retri would appreciate comments. And I do hope nobody minded the crude humour. Expect more to come though. Heh. If it's not apparent, then I shall say that this entire thing is based entirely off of my favorite film, [b]Pulp Fiction[/b]. So if that says anything, then you'll know what to expect. Haha.

Again, please comment.[/color][/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

Bravo. You know I've already read it ;) Best damn Otaku Parody to hit OB and I mean it. It's interesting, keeps my attention, it's funny and serious all at once, and the jokes are very well placed. And now I don't have to read stars for the swearwords anymore :P That drove me insane. Anyways, I can't wait for the next installments. Like I said, I can't think of really any cons so far. I love the script-style. Give me more. Bring 'em, yo!

Who made that sexy logo? ;) [i]Hot[/i].

[Annie]

[size=1]Oh dear god. I got to read the first scene yesterday, and fucking loved it. The conversation between Joe and I seems so normal of us :3 Fighting, laughing, fighting some more. Oh geeze.....

Scene two, absolutely flawless, if I must say so. The dialogue is perfect! Fucking genius, dude. I'm so excited to see the next scene......hehehehe. I'm wondering what you're going to do with the "What does Marcellus Wallace look like?" ;)[/size]

[DeadSeraphim]

[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]I don't think I've seen such liberal use of swearing since Pulp Fiction. The difference between this and Pulp Fiction though, is unless The Boss and co [i]actually talks like that[/i], all the swearing seems unecessary and awkward. It actually hurts my enjoyment of it, honestly. Pulp Fiction swears a lot, but it's in context. This swears a lot and it makes me cringe.

I understand that this is actually supposed to be a Pulp Fiction parody - I mean, don't get me wrong, [i]I am down with it[/i] - but the swearing in Pulp Fiction goes with the flow, it's not inserted for the sake of it. The use of it here seems to subscribe to the latter approach however.[/font][/color][/size]

[Zen]

[QUOTE=DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]I don't think I've seen such liberal use of swearing since Pulp Fiction. The difference between this and Pulp Fiction though, is unless The Boss and co [i]actually talks like that[/i], all the swearing seems unecessary and awkward. It actually hurts my enjoyment of it, honestly. Pulp Fiction swears a lot, but it's in context. This swears a lot and it makes me cringe.

I understand that this is actually supposed to be a Pulp Fiction parody - I mean, don't get me wrong, [i]I am down with it[/i] - but the swearing in Pulp Fiction goes with the flow, it's not inserted for the sake of it. The use of it here seems to subscribe to the latter approach however.[/font][/color][/size][/QUOTE]
[color=navy][size=1]

Me, Athena, and AC!D!C all curse loosely when speaking with one another in IMs. That is why we are the ones who curse the most. I toned down Retribution's usage of swear words due to his rare usage of them. Although the ones he does say are things that he would say.

Beleive me, I've thought this through. I don't like using curse words for the sake of curse words. Heh. I apologize if my work offends you, but I want this to parralel Pulp Fiction while also staying to true to the people used in it. Believe me, if any swearing is done, it's done in the context of realism to the actual characters.

[/color][/size]

[Ezekiel]

[SIZE=1]Well, you know what I think, as I gushed to you on AIM, but I really, really do like this. It's very impressive, and a wonderful break from what we usually have.

I'm glad you're sticking with people in regards to what they are like. I can expect a constant steam of curse words from Onix when it coes to it, I imagine. I'm hoping I won't be too foul mouthed, though, I'm a proper British lady, you know. ^_~

I'm totally adoring the way Annie swears like a drunken Sailor [STRIKE]it fits her so well[/STRIKE].[/SIZE]

[Desbreko]

[color=#4B0082]That was hilarious. A couple parts had me actually laughing out loud, so it gets a thumbs up from me.

I like the more gritty take on the Enter the Net style world, while at the same time remaining humorous instead of turning it all dark and serious. It's been so long since I've seen Pulp Fiction, I'm not really following it as a parody (since I barely remember the movie), but I like it all the same.

As for the swearing, I don't know any of the characters involved especially well, besides Annie. (And after playing Guild Wars with her for a good while, I have to say, she's not far off. :p) So I don't know exactly how out of character they might be, but it didn't seem out of place in the story to me. Also, given that it's a parody with OB members fit into the characters' roles, I think you have to accept that some tweaking is going to need to be done.[/color]

[Boo]

[size=1]Well, call me a pancake, but I had no idea it was about Pulp Fiction until I began reading it (I didn't pay attention to the title and header). And when I did read it it, the first thing to pop in my head was "Pulp Fiction". I have never seen more than like fifteen minutes of it, once upon a long ago, so there's no problems there.

I'm not too fond of all the swearing myself, but then again, I never like swearing in any kind of writing or other forms of art. I only like swearing when I do it myself. Ha.

Anyway... I quite liked it, though I didn't really get everything said. It could be a bit more dynamic (character movement or whatever you want) in my opinion, seeing as I'm not a fan of just dialogues either.

But yeah, it was a nice enough read to keep my attention.[/size]

[Retribution]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/otakufiction.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]

[size=1][B]Otaku Fiction
Scene 3

EXT. THREAD BUILDING FIRST PAGE - MORNING.[/B]

Retribution and The Boss in their freshly pressed black and white business suits walk through the first page of the decrepit and decaying thread.

The Boss
What's her name?

Retribution
Ezekiel, also known as Jay.

The Boss
And how exactly did Onix meet her?

Retribution
I?m not sure? Instant Messenger? Maybe RPGs? She was pretty into those a while back.

The Boss
Did she RP in anything big? Maybe Kill Adam or something?

Retribution
I don?t pay much attention to the Arena, so I wouldn?t know. She?s a mod now, though.

The Boss
Wonderful.

The two enter the thread with their guns drawn and loaded.

[B]Otaku Fiction
Scene 4

INT. FIRST PAGE (THREAD BUILDING) ? MORNING.[/B]

Retribution and The Boss quickly stride through the unkept, rotten first page and wait for the elevator to take them to the higher pages.

Retribution
You remember Kuja? The mod who was banned?

The Boss
The hell does that have to do with anything?

Retribution
Just answer the question. Christ.

The Boss
I remember the guy. What about him?

Retribution
Well the guy was IP banned and deleted by James, and word has it that it was because of Jay.

The Boss
Damn, what?d the man do?

The elevator arrives and the men step inside. The Boss punches the page button and the doors close.

[B]Otaku Fiction
Scene 5

INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING.[/B]

Retribution
He allegedly made an off-color joke about Jay in a chat.

The Boss
A joke? What the hell?

Retribution
Yep.

The Boss
That's all?

Retribution
Yeah. Word has it that Onix is an under-the-table mod, so it wasn?t too hard for Kuja to get the axe.

The Boss
And what did he do to Kuja?

Retribution
He and a couple of guys found Kuja in a spammy thread where he was neglecting his duty and kept things open. Onix and the boys took him to the top of the building, shot him a few times in the knees and tossed him off onto the street.

The elevator doors open, Retribution and The Boss exit. The recheck their guns and walk down the hall.

The Boss
Heh. That's a damn shame.

[B]Otaku Fiction
Scene 6

INT. THREAD BUILDING HALLWAY - MORNING.[/B]

Retribution and The Boss walk down the hallway quickly, their conversation now quieter than before.

The Boss
I gotta say, though. You play with fire, you get burned.

Retribution
What are you talking about? You can?t be serious.

The Boss
All I?m sayin? is don?t fuck with Onix?s girl. It?s common sense.

Retribution
You don't think he overreacted at all?

The Boss
Don?t get me wrong, he shouldnta done what he did, but he shoulda expected something from Onix. It?s like kicking a pit bull and expecting him to wag his tail.

Retribution
It was a joke. People get too worked up over stupid shit.

The Boss
It?s still messing with Onix?s girl. It?s not flaming her, but it?s in the same ballpark.

Retribution stops The Boss for a moment.

Retribution
Whatever, man. Not even close. There?s no way a joke and flaming are the same thing.

The Boss
Not the same thing, the same ballpark.

Retribution
It?s not the same ballpark, either. How is a dirty joke anywhere close to bombing Jay out?

The Boss
If you go disrespecting the future wife of Onix, your own future is in jeopardy. How Onix The Vigilante responds to such disrespect is a matter of chance. A joke and flaming can both be percieved disrespect, dig?

Retribution
Yeah? whatever.

He starts walking down the hall. The Boss, smiling, walks a
little bit behind.

Retribution
Fuck you. I want my gun back when we?re done.

The Boss
Oh no, don?t flame me!

Retribution
Dude, shut the hell up. This is the door.

The two men stand in front of the door titled "Post 132." They whisper, crouched, with their guns at the ready.

Retribution
What time is it?

The Boss
Seven-twenty-two in the morning.

Retribution
It?s not quite time. Hold off for a moment.

They move a little away from the door, facing each other, still whispering.

Retribution
Look, just because disrespect can vary doesn?t mean that it was enough to shoot, torment, and throw the guy off a fucking building. That?s some seriously sick shit, man.

The Boss
I?m not sayin? he did the right thing, but you?re sayin? a joke doesn?t mean anything when it obviously does. You can?t tell me with a straight face that if someone did that shit to your girl you wouldn?t give a damn about it. Onix gave two shits about it. Perhaps one shit too many, but you see what I?m sayin??

Retribution
Alright, I get it, but let?s get into character.

The Boss
What's her name again?

Retribution
Jay, also Jamie or Ezekiel. Why?re you so interested in her?

The Boss
Well, Onix has to travel to a different site for a while, so I have to take care of her while he?s gone.

Retribution
Take care of her?

Making a gun out of his finger and placing it to his head.

Retribution
You?re suicidal, aren?t you?

The Boss
Nah, not that! Take her out, show her a good time, make sure she isn?t lonely

Retribution
So you?re gonna take her out on a date then? Are you hearing yourself?

The Boss
It ain't a date, damnit. It's like chatting with a buddy?s girl for a while. It?s nothing like that, just having a good time, you know?

Retribution just looks at him.

The Boss
It's not a date.

Retribution just looks at him, slowly raising his eyebrow.

The Boss
I'm not gonna do any of that.

Retribution shakes his head and mumbles to himself.

Retribution
That girl is gonna kill more guys than time?

The Boss
What was that?

Retribution
Nothing. Let's get into character.

The Boss
What'd you say?

Retribution
I didn't say anything. C?mon, it?s almost time.

The Boss
Don't play with me, you said somethin', now what was it?

Retribution
Do you wanna do the job or not?

The Boss
Repeat what you said.

Retribution
That door's gonna open in about thirty seconds, so get your shit together.

The Boss
?I am ready.

Retribution
No you?re not. Get your mind off her and get in the fucking game.[/size]

[Ezekiel]

[SIZE=1]Ah haha, I'm such jailbait. >D

That latest addition was awesome, and not just because Onix I and were in it. Seriously, shooting a guy in the kneecaps and throwing him off a building? That was so. In. Character.

And I've got to admit, despite my earlier discussions with Mike about how the script format may not work all the way through, so far, it really has. I guess it's because the dialogue is so important, flowery bits of description would just get in the way. It's amazing how you're managing to tell a story, and a pretty vivid one, too, with just dialogue.

I am impressed. =D[/SIZE]

[2010DigitalBoy]

Dude, this story is frikkin awesome! I've never seen Pulp Fiction (but I'll be damned if I didn't want to) but I still loved your story. I love the way threads are buildings and the search engine is a car and stuff like that. Damn, these dudes REALLY don't like other boards, though for the most part I don't blame them.

I gotta say, the best line had to be 'Onix gave two shits. Probably one shit too many'

Utter brilliance.

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

It's good to finally read the first segments of the story without all the filtering, makes is a hell of a difference. As I said to Mike over AIM, a love this story, I own nearly every QT film so seeing an "Otaku City" conversion is great.

Moving on to the latest addition, I was enraptured the whole way through, just waiting for the "date" bit, and boys you left me in stitches, I mean Retri's reactions are just perfect and I can just imagine Mike trying to justify that it's not a date. I cannot wait to see further chapters, this is one of the best OB parodies ever to grace the Anthology.[/SIZE]

[Ellerby]

[color=#555555][FONT=Tahoma]Hell yes! This story is freaking awesome, Boss.

I love just about every part of it. It's funny without being a comedy, and I like that. It leaves room for serious action. As I'm reading it, I can literaly play it in my head with ease. And the whole Onix thing on the rooftop was great aswell.

[quote][SIZE=1]The two enter the thread with their guns drawn and loaded.[/SIZE][/quote]
I love that line. It makes it seem like it's the ghetto of OtakuBoards, each house being a thread and each floor being a page or something. Anyways, I would really enjoy reading more. Like Jamie said, I'm impressed.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Retribution]

[size=1]To be honest, I didn't expect that much positive feedback for this bit. I'm also very grateful that people liked a few of my jokes, as I'm not too humorous in general. Now my only fear is that we might not be able to keep living up to such high praise and expectations.

We'll keep cranking out the scenes, but be warned. The ones coming up will be rather confusing, as we'll be leaping around. In addition, there'll be a few more roles (minor and major) that'll be coming up in the following scenes. Be ready for those. ;)[/size]

[Flo]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]I must I am loving this. I don't come to this part of the forum very often, but by gon'it this sure makes me wanna visit this place more often. Never seen Pulp Fiction so I really have nothing to compare this to, but that dosen't make a difference to me.

Can't wait till for the next installment of Otaku Fiction! I love the defination of Otaku at the beginging, never knew that's what an otaku was......maybe I should stop telling people that I is one......Oh well. You know I would of never thought of Onix as being so violent....kinda scary.

-Toodles![/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Revelation]

[size=1][color=#CD6619]I've yet to watch [B]Pulp Fiction[/B], however so far I am loving the story. It's comedic with a sense of style and flair; quite the interesting story you put together. The descriptions of how they came in, transforming Otakuboards into a real city and whatnot, it's all too... good. It really makes me want to watch Pulp Fiction.

When I first saw this, I doubted the dialogue format but it gives people a bit more freedom of imagining what's happening, instead of reading word for word what's happening- which is fine too- but you two have taken this difficult format and turned it into something grand. Kudos to you guys ^_^.[/size][/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

[size=1]Yesiree, it's definitely coming along nicely. Can't say I'm seeing a flaw yet still. It's just perfectly portrayed, keeping that Pulp Fiction feel, but you're keeping true to OB. Like others have said, portraying buildings as threads, rooms as posts, floors as pages--it's all brilliantly handled. And shame on you, Retri, for not believing in this new addition, 'cause it was just as well done as the first by The Boss. I can see this becoming an OB classic fast.[/size]

[Zen]

[center][img]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/otakufiction.jpg[/img]
[/center]


[size=1][b]INT. POST ROOM. (ROOM 132) - Early Morning Still[/b]

Three young members, obviously in over their heads with trouble, sit around within a dirty, old thread room with digitzed hamburgers, french fries and soda pops laid out.

One of them in a ratty old Gaara (from Naruto) avatar punches the Edit Button on the Post door, opening it to REVEAL The Boss and Retribution in the hallway. Their sleek suits and commanding demeanor intimidates the young man, causing him to step back slightly in letting them enter.

Retribution
Hello Children....

The two enter the room slowly and nonchalantly.

The three fearful members are as follows:

White, the young caucasian who opened the door, with a Gaara of the sand banner. He progresses back into a corner near the door, leaning back with a worried expression.

Cancer, a skinny raven haired boy sporting a traditional long emo-kid look. He lays back on a ratty couch decorating the post, holding one of the digitized burgers in his hand. He looks up to the two with a similar worried expression

Jokopoko, a tall, polished Brit sporting an Optimus Prime avatar scaled down to human size. He sits in a chair, chowing on his own food. He holds the same matching expression.

The Boss and Retribution have their guns hidden away for the moment. Retribution steps forward slightly and The Boss allows him to do all the talking.

Retribution
So.... how are you guys doing?

He is answered by silence.

Retribution (looks to Jokopoko)
Am I lagging? Or did I just ask you a question?!

Jokopoko (speaking in a hallow, robotic voice)
We?re doing fine, mate. Fine.

Jokopoko and Retribution begin speaking whilst The Boss recedes back with the other two members.

Retribution
So, do you happen to know who we are?

Jokopoko shakes his metallic robot head ?No?.

Retribution
We are associates of your buddy, a Mr. Onix.... you may know him as Trevor... You do remember Onix, do you not?

Jokopoko?s face is blank and without an answer.

Retribution
Now... I?m just going to take a guess. You?re.... Joko, right?

Jokopoko
Y-yeah. I?m Jokopoko.

Retribution
I figured as much. So... you do remember your good friend, Onix, don?t you?

Jokopoko
Aye. I remember him.

Retribution
Good. Good. Looks like me and Mike caught you boy?s during breakfast. My sincerest apologies. So, what would you be eating?

Jokopoko (looks down to his food)
Uhm... Hamburgers.

Retribution
Hamburgers! Haha. The main source of nutrition for any good Otaku. What kind are they?

Jokopoko
They?re cheeseburgers.... yeah.

Retribution
No, I mean where did you get ?em? Otaku Café? The Arena Diner? Or did you boy?s just re-materialize in the real world and hop over to Micky-D?s?

Jokopoko
Annie-May?s Place.... we got ?em at an Annie-May?s.

Retribution
Oh! You mean that chain of ?anime girl? themed places strung along these fine Otaku streets? I heard that got some good burgers. Never had one myself. How are they?

Jokopoko
Ugh. They?re pretty good...?

Retribution
Mind if I try out your?s?

Jokopoko
Meh. Go right on....

Retribution (looks down to the burger in front of Joko)
This one?s yours, right?

Jokopoko
Yeah. Yeah.

Retribution (picks up the wrapped burger and takes a large bite)
Goooooood God. Now that, is a tasty burger. (looks to The Boss)
You ever try one of these, Mike?

The Boss
Nah.

Retribution (holds the burger out to him)
You want a bite?

The Boss (waves his hand away)
I?m cooz.

Retribution (continues chewing)
Well, if you ever want a good burger, try out.... what was it again?

Jokopoko
Annie-May?s, Mate..

Retribution (sets burger down)
Oh yeah, that?s right. (Begins looking around the room). Well, it is a nice post you boy?s got here. Say, you know what they call a post at Grey Fairy?s was it Mike?

The Boss (begins biting fingers nails out of boredom)
Yeah

Retribution
Yeah. You know what they call post at Grey Fairy, Joko?

Jokopoko
Meh.... I don?t know...?

Retribution
They count a sentence or even ONE word as a post there, boy?s. Do you know why that is... Joko?

Jokopoko
Because their bloody n00bs?

Retribution
Check out the former Mod Joko! You?re a smart son of a bitch. That?s right! Because they?re n00bs. See now, I can?t go to those nasty, hacker infested n00b boards. It?s bad for my server. (Rubs his stomache).

Jokopoko
Same here.

Retribution
Heh. (Turns to cancer on the couch) Hey you, Emo-kid.

*Cancer nods quickly yes with a whimper*

Retribution
Christ... Don?t cry on me! Now Why don?t you tell The Boss here where you got our shit hidden?

White
It?s under the ba-

Retribution (cuts White off, pointing at him authoritatively)
I don?t remember asking you a god damned thing! (Looks back to Cancer) Now, what were you saying, friend?

Cancer
It?s under the banner (points to long, TV like object playing an episode of Cowboy Bebop).

The Boss walks over to the screen and look under the left side

Cancer
N-no... the right side.

The Boss places it back down and walks to the right side, lifting it up, and retrieving a silver case. The Boss sets it on the floor and looks at it for a moment, a pleasant grey and blue glow emitting from the case.

The Boss
I got it...

Retribution (looks to The Boss)
Is it good?

The Boss continues looking into the case, perplexed by the soft glow.

Retribution
Mike!

The Boss looks up to Retribution with a dazed look from his Rock Lee avatar.

Retribution
I said, is it good?

The Boss (closes the case quickly)
Haha. Yeah. We all good....

Jokopoko
I got it... His name is Mike

The Boss (speaks out angrily)
My name?s The Boss to you.

Jokopoko
R-right. The Boss. But I don?t have your?s. What?s your user name?

Retribution
What does my username have to do with anything concerning your survival?

Jokopoko
Listen, I just wanted to let you guys know that we?re all sorry for what happened with Onix...

Retribution
Mr. Onix to you sir.

Jokopoko
Right, Mr. Onix. I mean, things just got a little screwey and we got lost amongst the threads. Connections got tied and we just messed up. We had the best intentions in this...

Retribution looks to him for a moment with a raised eyebrow, then withdraws his gun and puts three Ban-Bullets into his friend, Cancer?s, chest, causing his profile and avatar to lay inert and lifeless on the couch. Blood-like coding seeped from the body and onto the floor.

The Boss laughs to himself with a smile. He appreciates Retribution?s style.

Jokopoko has just dumped his robotic fuel all over the ground in fear. He?s not crying or screaming, but his fear is great enough for his robotic frame to shake.

Retribution
I?m sorry! Did I just lag your server!? My apologies. Please continue about your ?best intentions?...

Jokopoko is speechless with fear, staring at the banned body of Cancer.

Retribution
What?s wrong, friend?! Oh, did you finish your comment? You don?t have a reply?! Well allow me to quick reply to you. What does Onix?s avatar look like?!

Jokokpoko is speechless still, shaking now. Retribution snaps in anger and kicks over the table in between them, staring him down, removing any barrier there was between the two formerly.

Retribution
Who?s your service provider, boy!?

Jokopoko (scared and confused)
WTF?!

Retribution
WTF?! WTF Ain?t no server I ever heard of! They translate english on WTF?!?

Jokopoko (near heart attack)
WTF?!

Retribution
English, you fucking n00b! Does your server translate it?!?!

Jokopoko (panics)
Aye! Yeah! Yeah!

Retribution
Alright then, answer my question.... What does Mr. Onix?s avatar look like?

Jokopoko
WTF?

Retribution furiously draws his .45 Magnum Mod Gun and puts it to the Optimus Prime avatar?s forehead.

Retribution
Say ?WTF? again! Say it! Say ?WTF? one more god damned time! I dare you! I double dare you n00b say it one more god damned time!

Jokopoko trembles more and more in fear as he regresses in his seat.

Retribution
Now, tell me! What does Mr. Onix?s avatar look like?!

Jokopoko tries his hardest.

Jokopoko
It?s... it?s... a video game...

Retribution
.... keep on. What kind?

Jokopoko
... like... Bloody Roar....

Retribution
Now does he look like a he?s a n00b?

Jokopoko
WTF?!

Retribution eyes The Boss, who puts a sneaky smirk on his face. Retribution smirks along and aims his gun at Jokopoko, putting a Ban bullet in his knee.

Jokopoko freaks out, grabbing his robotic knee-piston in pain, spasming and screaming.

Retribution
I said! DOES-HE-LOOK-LIKE-A-N00B!?

Jokopoko (in pain, his robotic voice trembles)
No! No!

Retribution
Then why did you flame him like a n00b, Joko?

Jokopoko (still trembling)
I didn?t...

Retribution (lowering his tone)
Yes you did Joko. You bombed him out.... So. Do you watch anime, Joko?

Jokopoko (still trembling)
Yeah. Yeah.

Retribution
There?s a quote from G Gundam. ?This hand of mine is burning red! Its loud roar tells me to grasp victory! Erupting... God...?

(Retribution and The Boss raise their guns, Jokopoko begins screaming in fear)

Retribution
?FINGER!!!?

With that, the The Boss and Retribution fire five rounds a piece into the sitting Jokopoko, banning him on the spot. His robotic body laying in the chair limp and banned, then it falls over into a pile on the ground.

Things are quite for a moment, then White begins to mutter in the corner.

White
OMFG... OMFG.... OMGF.....

The Boss (turns around to White)
He a friend of yours, Alex?

Retribution
Yeah... Mike, Lrb. Lrb, Mike.

The Boss
Tell him to shut the hell up. That shit?s annoying.

Retribution
White, I?d shut the hell up about now...

Suddenly, a fourth member comes through the bathroom door holding a giant silver Mod Gun (apparently Jokopoko?s old one) in his hands, aiming at the two killers, who are stunned. His avatar is that of a strange old, fat wizard.

Fat Wizard
DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!

He fires all of his shots off at the two men, who just stand their for a moment in shock. The fat wizards expression changes from ?I?ll get my revenge look? to an ?Oh shit? look as he continues staring at the two men, who are untouched by his mod gun bullets. Every shot had missed...

Fat Wizard
..... Damn it.

The Fat Wizard is then blown off his feet by the remaining bullets left in Retribution and The Boss? mod guns. His banned body lands with a loud thump, torn asunder by the gunfire.


[b]We fade to black..... [/size][/b]

[Ellerby]

[color=#555555][FONT=Tahoma]Hurray for Chapter 3! First, a quote.
[quote]Jokopoko has just dumped his robotic fuel all over the ground in fear.[/quote]
[i]Hah![/i] That was a brilliant line, bud.

Anyways, I really liked this chapter. Although there were not as many funny parts, it was just about ten times cooler. Ban Bullets was a nice touch, and who was the Fat Wizard?

I have a question, though. How come the Ban Bullets effected the Wizard and not The Boss? The Boss had a mod-gun, but he wasn't a mod. And if it was the mod-gun that protected him, wouldn't the Wizard's protect [i]him[/i]?

Meh, it was great regardless. [/FONT] [/COLOR]

[Zen]

[quote= Otaku Fiction][size=1]

He fires all of his shots off at the two men, who just stand their for a moment in shock. The fat wizards expression changes from ?I?ll get my revenge look? to an ?Oh shit? look as he continues staring at the two men, who are untouched by his mod gun bullets. [/size]
[/quote][color=navy]
[size=1]


Untouched, as in, the Fat Wizard missed them in his attempt the kill/ban them. It's cleared up further into the story (much further). If you remember the movie, then you'll know what I mean concerning "Divine Intervention". So, short and quick answer, a case of poor aim.

The Fat Wizard's identity is cleared up later on aswell, though it hardly matters. If you remember, one of our members used to have an avatar of a portly warlock.[/color][/size]

[Revelation]

[size=1][color=#CD6619]Now we got some action going on. I've got to say: the more I read, the more I want. It's absolutely invigorating and mind-compelling, just entrances you in a way. Absolutely brilliant, you two.

Now then, a member who had a portly wizard? I can recollect that there was one but who was it? My short-term memory loss is inabling me to remember XP.[/size][/color]

[Annie]

[QUOTE=The Boss][size=1]
Retribution (looks to Jokopoko)
Am I lagging? Or did I just ask you a question?![/size][/quote]

[size=1]Haha! Awesome installment, guys. Sheer brilliance. The usage of computer talk like 'servers', 'lag', 'banner', 'avatars' is perfect. I mean, even though they're not things you'd find in the real world, the way you give them personality is amazing. It makes 'who is your server provider' seem so realistic. So far, this is my favorite installment.

The whole scene with "What does Mr. Onix's avatar look like?" was better than I expected. I almost shed a tear for Joko[b]poke[/b]. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful.[/size]

[2010DigitalBoy]

Pure brilliance dudez. I love how Retri does his whole little conversation with Joko and stuff. The quote Athena mentioned was great, as well as the Emo kid jokes XD I love the ban bullets. Kick ass.

[Papa Smurf]

To be honest, I agree with DeadSeraphim. This story just lacks the punch and flair that Pulp Fiction has, partly due to it being Pulp Fiction with OtakuBoards liberally stamped all over it. 95% of the dialogue in Otaku Fiction is straight out of Pulp Fiction, word-for-word. It almost reads like a Find-->Replace story rather than even a parody. You can write parodies that don't plagiarize...and honestly, I think Otaku Fiction is more a plagiarism than any type of homage.

I know people don't like hearing plagiarism, but, I think it's worth comparing the scripts side-by-side at least. You can check out the shooting script to Pulp Fiction at [url]www.simplyscripts.com[/url] and see what I mean.

The scene between Annie and Joe, for example, talking about flaming n00bs at different messageboards. Pulp Fiction's conversation focuses on robbing banks, gas stations, etc. There's zero variation there, apart from minor changes in a few words.

Or the dialogue between The Boss and Retri...same thing. Vincent and Jules talk about the "little differences" between countries. Boss and Retri talk about the "little differences" between messageboards.

Royale with cheese (Pulp Fiction) versus posts (Otaku Fiction).

I'm reluctant to continue to say plagiarism here, but it's plagiarism even right down to having cheeseburgers for breakfast.

The "I doubledare you" bit, too. When Samuel L. Jackson says it in Pulp Fiction, it happens for a reason. In Otaku Fiction, the cleaned-up version of the line loses impact due to the cleaned-up nature of it, the fact that Sam Jackson isn't saying it, and there's zero emotional contextual weight to the threat, because Otaku Fiction still reads like a Find-->Replace function.

Onix's girl...the foot massage related to the themes of Pulp Fiction. It helped establish Mia Wallace's character. She was sensual temptation. Antwon couldn't resist temptation. I guess someone could argue that flaming the big man's wife is a sort of temptation, but then again, would you rather insult Uma Thurman, or give her a foot massage? Most guys would opt for the foot massage, which is exactly the point that's entirely lost in Otaku Fiction.

This response is going on longer than I want, so I'm not going to go any further. I just hope those who have never seen Pulp Fiction will actually sit down and read/watch it before reading any more of Otaku Fiction, so they can see what I'm seeing.

And to those that have seen Pulp Fiction before...I'm kind of insulted. It's perfectly fine to enjoy a parody, but to call this brilliance is a bit out of line, I think, because in my opinion, Edit-->Find-->Replace is hardly a sign of brilliance.

[Zen]

[color=navy][size=1]

[b]Papa Smurf[/b]. You seem to be missing what exactly we are doing. We have already stated that this is an almost exact replica of Pulp Fiction set in the OBs world. The whole thing was just a fun idea me and Retribution had to pass the time and joke around with a few of our friends. I admit that we are lifting directly from the script in the situations. That's the entire point, instead, we're just placing it in our universe and replacing some of the characters with people we actually know so we can have a quick gag.

This is just our sense of humour. Believe me, I'm not trying to stamp this as an original work by me and Retribution, because it is in no way our original concept. It's just a re-telling of the story. Heh. Just a fun idea that we decided to publish.

I wish you had a lighter mind set about and didn't take it all as seriously as you seem to be. Apparently several other people are enjoying the story, I suppose it's just a matter of personal taste in your case, but please don't misunderstand our intentions and say we're trying to steal the idea completely, because we do change the dialogue around to fit the characters, as you will see as things move along. I suppose that's why I cast Athena and AC!D!C as the returaunt, because they we're so similar to the actual characters. I looked at the original script to write their dialogue, but just to see the direction the conversation should go, then I wrote the real dialogue myself, keeping the trademark moments so it would be a Pulp Fiction parody.

That conversation me and Retri had in the car was based on a real conversation we had, and I thought it'd be funny to put that there. Yeah, that's a classic scene from that movie, and I was going to keep it. Yeah, we're taking the story ourselves, but the writing of the dialogue was all us. Yeah, the conversation is the same, but the way we say it is to fit the actual person saying it. I tried to cast the script with people who act like the actual characters, which is why it is so similar.

I mean, again, we are doing basically what your saying, but there is originality strung through it and it is considerable work on our part to replace the situations in order to fit our universe and still seem good.

I respect your opinion, but this is just a funny story we're playing around with. Nothing as serious as you seem to think. We're not trying to come off as geniuses, we're just having fun. Heh. Chill.[/color][/size]