Funniest Song You've Ever Heard

[2010DigitalBoy]

What song had you laughing as you listened? There's bound to be some [COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Weird Al [/COLOR] and prolly some [COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Tenacious D,[/COLOR] but my song is by a strange doom metal band entitled [COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Type O Negative[/COLOR]. This song is very loud, fast, and angry making it great to rock out to and laugh at the lyrics.

[B][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Angry Inch[/COLOR][/B]

[I][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]My sex-change operation got botched
My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
Now all I got is a Barbie Doll-crotch
I got an angry inch

Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch

I'm from the land where you still hear the cries
I had to get out to sever all ties
I changed my name and assumed a disguise
I got an angry inch

Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an ingry inch

Six inches forward and five inches back
The train is coming and I'm tied to the track
I try to get up but I can't get no slack
I got an angry inch, angry inch, angry inch

My mother made my tits out of clay
My boyfriend told me that he'd take me away
They dragged me to the doctor one day
I've got an angry inch

Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch

A long story short:
When I woke up from the operation
I was bleeding down there
Bleeding from the gash between my legs
My first day as a woman
And already it's that time of the month
But two days later
The hole closed up and the wound healed
And I was left with a one inch mound of flesh
Where my penis used to be
Where my vagina never was
A one inch mound of flesh
With a scar running down it
Like a sideways grimace
On an eyeless face
It was just a little bulge
It was an angry inch

Six inches forward and five inches back
The train is coming and I'm tied to the track
I try to get up but I can't get no slack
I got an angry inch, angry inch, angry inch

Six inches forward and five inches back
Stay undercover 'til the night turns to black
I got my inch and I'm set to attack
I got an angry inch, angry inch, angry inch[/COLOR][/I]

[Ai.sAkUrA.chan]

I'm not sure if this is funny, but if you see the video then maybe it will be.

Dear Diary, Mood-Apethetic

My life is spiraling deathward. I couldnt get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks because they play some of my favorite songs like Stab My Heart Because I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stab Me Rip Stab Stab and it doesn't help that I couldnt get my hair to do that flippy thing either like the guy from that band can do.

I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be
You'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me
I got paint on my nails and makeup on my face
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs

Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag
I call it freedom of expression girls just call me a ***
Cause the dudes look like chicks and chicks look like dykes
Cause emo is one step below transvestite

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem
The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make believe
I stole my sisters mascara now I'm grounded for a week

Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
Girls keep breaking up with me its never any fun
They say they already have a ***** they don't need another one

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes
I must be emo
I play guitar and write suicide notes
I must be emo

...My life is just a black abyss you know? Its so dark and its suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip. Tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...Which look great on me by the way...

When I get depressed I cut my wrist in every direction
Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
I write in a LiveJournal and wear thick rim glasses
I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes

I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
You can read me 'Catcher in the Rye' and watch me jack off
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo
I must be emo
Screw Xbox I play old school nintendo
I must be emo
I like to whine and hate my parentals
I must be emo
Me and my friends all look like clones
I must be eeeeeeemo

...My parents don't get me ya know? They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy...well a couple of guys but I mean its the 2000's can't 2 or 4 guys makeout with eachother without being gay? I mean chicks dig that kinda thing anyways.
I don't know diary sometimes I think you're the only one who gets me. You're my best friend.


I feel like tacos

Or you can always watch this video (has the song):
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25HUJ6BlTU8[/url]

[musical_kitten]

One song I heard that was really funny was Cows With Guns but I don't remember who its by. It was really funny cause it was talking about a cow revolution where when the cows were hauled off to be butchered they went and put up a fight and it told what happened. It was hilarious.

[OrangeJulies]

First and foremost, anything by Tom Lehrer. But especially "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park."

There are parts of songs that really make me laugh out loud - small interjections, like in "If I Had $1000000" by the Barenaked Ladies ("I would buy you a green dress/But not a real green dress, that's cruel") or "Tribute" by Tenacious D ("You really should have been there/Just a matter of opinon").

"City Hall" by Tenacious D is another good one, as is "Odorono" by The Who, which probably gets my prize for most clever song.

[Guest mewmewninja45]

There is one funny song that I recall from the movie The Producers. (:A/N Man, that was a funny movie. :laugh: )
And I belive the song was called Spring time for Hitler. (Sorry if anyone is hurt this song)

Though I can't recall all the lyrics though. To bad :huh:

Well, anyway do any of you know that song and/or movie?

[Momiji Love]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana]Ha. Adam and Andrew are funny guys.
Their song "Sluttier Younger" is hilariously (and sadly) true.

[I][B]Sluttier Younger[/B][/I]
There are few things less appealing than you
A preteen girl that dresses like a prostitute
You want to act like Britney well thats a mistake
You want to look like divas but divas are skanks

Dating cooler older guys in high school grades
If they were really that cool theyd get girls their own age
But they cant, so their on a cradle crusade
Cause statutory rapes the coolest way to get laid

They dont want there bodies to be covered
Cause girls are getting sluttier younger
There too young to be talking about sex
And losing their virginity at recess

Buying push up bras you have to stuff to fill in
And giving hand jobs on the bus during school field trips
During dances moving like a tramp is your goal
And to wear revealing clothes when you have nothing to show

Christina or Paris who do you idolize more
While looking for a thong in a childrens size four
Getting good grades is not what youre dreaming of
Youd rather go on MTV and show them your nubs.

That cant handle the pressure their under
So girls are getting sluttier younger
I wish those jr highers would stop
Wearing shorts that barely cover their crotch

Youre 12, mature enough to start smoking weed
Wasnt it just last week you were watching Disney
Now its The 101 Hottest Whores On E!
So you can take notes on how to act like Tara Reid

Step 1: get drunk and act real dumb
Step 2: common sense makes life less fun
Step 3: The best way to get accepted
Is to put out and become anorexic.

I dont understand so I wonder
Why girls are getting sluttier younger
They take their childhood and discard it
Are they naïve or just retarted, I dont know






Go to their [URL=http://www.myspace.com/adamandandrew]Myspace[/URL] to listen to Sluttier Younger and the song Ai.sAkUrA.chan mentioned, called "Emo Kid"
The link provided was a fan made video,though.
I think there is an actual one.Somewhere.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

This ones pretty funny, especially in the live version because they sing it in ways immitating all kind of people its funny as hell and brilliant. Ill provide a link.

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][B]I'm The Only Gay Eskimo[/B]

[I]I'm the only gay eskimo
I'm the only one I know
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe

I go out seal hunting with my best friend Tarka
But all I wanna do is get into his parka
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe

Well .. me an nut fluck chuck buck, we both like blubber
But me I've got this crazy fetish for rubber
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe

I make a wish on the northern lights
That I could get a decent pair of whale skin tights
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe

And the seals they sing now
*seal noises*

These cold winter nights are taking their toll
I even get excited when I see the north pole
See the north pole

I'm the only gay eskimo
I'm the only one I know
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe [/COLOR] [/I]

[URL=http://youtube.com/watch?v=-8eZhQ0RP7o]Marik Is The Only Gay Eskimo[/URL]

[Anakoni Stark]

the two funniest tunes I've heard are actually covers by senses fail and taking back sunday. which were featured on tony hawk's american wasteland.

the first is about a drug addict who is confronted by friends and family about his drug addiction, and how he says he'll figure it out by himself.

Insitutionalized / Senses Fail

Sometimes I try to do things, and it just doesn't work out the way I wanted to.
And I get real frustrated and like I try hard to do it.
I like take my time and it doesn't work out the way I wanted to.
It's like I concentrate on it real hard and it doesn't work out
And Everything I do and everything I try it never turns out.
It's like I need time to figure these things out.
There's always someone there going

Hey Buddy:
You know, we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately.
You know, you need to maybe get away and like maybe you should talk about it,
you'll feel a lot better

I go:
No it's okay, you know I'll figure it out, just leave me alone I'll figure it out.
You know I'll just work it out myself.

And they go:
Well you know if you want to talk about it I'll be here you know and you'll
probably feel a lot better if you talk about it, so why don't you talk about it?

I go:
No. I don't want to talk about it. I'm okay, I'll figure it out myself but they just keep
bugging me and they just keep bugging me and it builds up inside.

So you're gonna be institutionalized
You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won't have any say
They'll brainwash you until you see their way.

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
to give me the needed professional help
to protect me from the enemy, myself

I was in my room and I was like just sitting there staring at the wall thinking about
everything but then again I was thinking about nothing
And my mom came in and I didn't even realize she was there and she calls my
name but I didn't even hear it, and she started screaming BUDDY! BUDDY!
And I go:
What, what's the matter?
And she goes:
What's the matter with you?
I go:
There's nothing-wrong Mom.
And she goes:
Don't tell me that, you're on drugs!
I go:
Mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just thinking you know, why don't
you get me a pepsi?
And she goes:
[COLOR=Red][B][I]NO[/COLOR][/B][/I] you're on drugs!
I go:
Mom I'm okay, I'm just thinking.
She goes:
No you're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!
I go:
Mom just give me a Pepsi please
All I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me.
Just a Pepsi.

They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up
a chair and they sat down, they go:
Buddy, we need to talk to you
And I go:
Okay what's the matter?
They go:
Me and your mom we've been noticing lately that you've been having a lot of
problems, you've been going off for no reason and we're afraid you're gonna
hurt somebody, we're afraid you're gonna hurt yourself.
So we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put you somewhere
where you could get the help that you need.
And I go:
Wait, what are you talking about, we decided!? My best
interest?! How do you know what[COLOR=Red][I][B] MY[/I][/B][/COLOR] best interest is? How can you say what
[COLOR=Red][I][B]MY[/I][/B][/COLOR] best interest is? What are you trying to say,[COLOR=Red][I][B] I'M[/I][/B][/COLOR] crazy? When I went to
[COlOR=Red][I][B]YOUR[/I][/B][/COLOR] schools, when I went to[COLOR=Red][I][B]YOUR[/I][/B][/COLOR] churches, when I went to [I][B][COLOR=Red]YOUR[/I][/B][/COLOR] institutional learning
facilities?! How can you say I'm crazy?

They say they're gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I'll be dead

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

Doesn't matter. I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

most of the song is spoken by the singer and the chorus is screamed is sounds so great. [I] I [/I] may find it funny, others may not, it just depends on your taste of music

Suburban Home [I Like Food] / Taking Back Sunday

I want to be stereotyped
I want to be classified
I want to be a clone
I want a suburban home suburban home
suburban home suburban home
I want to be masochistic
I want to be a statistic
I want to be a clone
I want a suburban home suburban home
suburban home suburban home
I don't want no hippie pad
I want a house just like mom and dad
I want to be stereotyped
I want to be classified
I want to be masochistic
I want to be a statistic
I want to be a clone
I want a suburban home suburban home
suburban home suburban home
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!
Juicy burgers, greasy fries,
Turkey legs and raw fish eyes
Teenage girls, with ketchup too!
Get out of my way, or I'll eat you
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!
It's time to turn dining
Back into eating
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!


why I find this one funny is because it starts off with how they want to fit in with everybody, then it goes to....food? XD

- Leon Fury.

[OrangeJulies]

[QUOTE=mewmewninja45]There is one funny song that I recall from the movie The Producers. (:A/N Man, that was a funny movie. :laugh: )
And I belive the song was called Spring time for Hitler. (Sorry if anyone is hurt this song)

Though I can't recall all the lyrics though. To bad :huh:

Well, anyway do any of you know that song and/or movie?[/QUOTE]
Heard of it, yes. I haven't seen either of the movies, but I know one line of the chorus to that song. XP

Here's the lyrics to "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park":

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring
I do. Don't you? 'Course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park

When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide
The sun's shining bright
Everything seems all right
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We've gained notoriety
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon

So if Sunday you're free
Why don't you come with me
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park

Well murder them all amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few we take home to experiment
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychinine
We feed to a pigeon
It just takes a smidgin!
To poison a pigeon in the park

[PaganAngel]

The other week... my dad and I were heading up to Santa Cruz and I was flipping through radio stations. Unknowingly, I flipped to a kids' Christian station, and a Veggie Tales song started. First line: "If you like to talk to tomatoes, have we got a show for you." My dad and I just looked at each other and started cracking up.

Otherwise, a lot of Blink-182's songs are pretty funny (albeit vulgar most often). If you've ever heard Mother's Day from... ah, what album was it? I forget. But it was hilarious. And in The Mark, Tom, and Travis Show (live CD), Mark changed the lyrics in "What's My Age Again?" to "Where is My Asian Friend?" A lot of their stuff is pretty funny. Can't really post any lyrics up here, for obvious reasons... we're in the midst of children, people! XD

[Fyxe]

[size=1][color=slategray]WHAT?! NO GUNTHER?! : O
I'll have to change that.

"Tra La La" by Gunther. It's some Swedish guy, I think.
Anyway... here's the video. XD
[URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAHCIv_xktU&search=You%20Touch%20My%20Tra%20La%20La]Tra La La[/URL]

I mainly like the beginning... because of the lesbian action. >>
And, sorry, but you see man ***.

Also... I find that Emo song mean. *hugs Emo boys* Aww, how cute.

: D[/color][/size]

[GTK]

[QUOTE=Tical Blue]but my song is by a strange doom metal band entitled [COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Type O Negative[/COLOR]. This song is very loud, fast, and angry making it great to rock out to and laugh at the lyrics.
[/QUOTE]

This song is actually from a movie ^^; Type O Negative just did a cover of it... though the movie, Hedwig and the Angry Itch, has several other amusing songs XD The movie is great~ (though I never thought of the songs as funny enough to laugh at, I found them amusing... maybe it's cause I've seen the movie and they make more sense that way ^^; )




[b]Peelander Z[/b] has some really crazy songs XD They've got one about a ninja highschool and one about steak, among others... I couldn't find a site with the lyrics though T_T and I'm not typing them myself, but it's pretty funny stuff (they also totally rock live XD the singer runs around dressed like a banana or something crazy)

[b]Voltaire[/b] is amusing too... songs like, Sexy Data Tango, God Thinks, When your evil, and so on. I like the song brains XD Which I think was on an episode of the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?

[i]
Well hello there little boy.
Now don't be shy.
Step right up, I'm a reasonable guy.
Don't be frightened by the look in my eye.
I'm just your average evil meteor from outta the sky.
Well, I'm just a little shy and scared in this place
I'm just a fish outaa water from outer space
You can see that the trip has left me tired and drained
So why don't you be a pal...

And bring me some BRAINS!
Go down to your neighbor's place
See the dull expression on his face
you'd be doing him a favor if you brought him to me
He's not using his brain he's just watching TV!
Go down to Mr. McGee's
He hasn't had a thought since '43.
His brain is the portrait of atrophy.
He ain't using it, why not give it to me?

BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie,
I'll drink their (her) brains 'til they're zombified.
Sure they (she) might think it's deranged
But they (she)won't give it a thought
Once I've eaten their (her) brain.
BRAINS, BRAINS, It's okay.
It's not a matter if it isn't gray,
And if at first they (she) think(s) it's strange,
They (she)won't think twice
If they (she)don't have a brain!

Go down to the Wonton shop,
My fortune cookie says that I just can't stop
I'll suck the noodle right out of their heads
And half an hour later, I'm hungry again!
Creep into the donut shop
Sneak in tip-toe past the cop.
Pick me up a cruller and a cupful of tea.
And any other sweetbreads you happen to see.

Brains, Brains, I love em, I need um...
My tummy jumps for joy when I eat um.
Big ones, fat ones, short ones, tall ones,
They're so delectable, especially the small ones.
No time to cook em in a skillet.
My belly's rumblin', I got a need to fill it.
I don't fry em, the heat will only shrink em,
i'll just grab my self a straw and drink em!!!

Now you've been swell to go around
And bring me every single brain in town
But with all these brains, I can't help but think
That there isn't one left out there to drink.
Fess up boy, come on, Heck!
Is there someone that you're trying to protect?
Bring her down here to meet her end
And i promise I'll be your bestest friend.

BRAIN.....
Bring me her Brain.....
BRING ME HER BRAIN!!!!!!!!
Mwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
[/i]

[Albert Flasher]

[COLOR=Sienna]I'm going to avoid the obvious picks from Tenacious D and Wierd Al and guys like that, and go for the very talented Canadian trio Arrogant Worms. Not only are they funny, they're awesome musicians.

[B]The Last Saskatchewan Pirate[/B] - Incredibly funny song that you probably need to be Canadian to understand. *ahem*
[I]
Well I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line,
But times went by and though I tried the money wasn't there,
And bankers came and took my land and told me "Fair is Fair".

I looked for every kind of job the answer always "No",
"Hire you now" they'd always laugh, "We just let Twenty go!" (Haha)
The government, they promised me a measley little sum,
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum!
Then I thought who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone,
I'm gonna be a pirate, on the river Saskatchewan!

Chorus:
And it's a Heave (HO) High (HO) Comin' down the plains,
Stealin' Wheat and Bareley and all the other grains,
And it's a Ho (HEY!) High (HEY!) Farmers bar yer doors,
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.

Well you think the local farmers would know that I'm at large,
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge,
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the Fertilizer

A Bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river,
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomach's are a quiver,
'Cause they know that Tractor Jack's a-hiding in the bay,
I'll jump the bridge and knock em cold and sail off with their Hay!

Chorus

Well Mountie Bob he chased me he was always at my throat,
He followed on the shorelines 'cause he didn't own a boat,
But cut-backs were a comin' and the Mountie lost his job,
So now he's sailin' with me and we call him Salty Bob!

A Swingin' Sword and Skull and Bones are pleasant company,
I never pay my Income Tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon the Terror of the Sea,
If you wanna reach the Co-op boy you gotta get by me!

Chorus

Well pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here,
I've heard that in Alberta there's a band of Buckaneers,
They rome the althabaska from Smith to North McKay,
And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way.

Well Winter is a comin' and a chill is in the breeze,
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze,
But I'll be back in Spring time but now I have to go,
I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico.

And it's a Heave (HO!) Hi (HO!) Comin' down the plains,
Stealin' Wheat and Barley and all the other grains,
And it's it's a Ho (HEY!) Hi (HEY!) Farmers bar yer doors,
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.

(Repeat)

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
A-har![/I]

[B]We Are the Beaver[/B] - An awesome anthem that includes my favourite line ever: "All them predators, just take from the land - but the Beaver always gives a dam."
[I]
The US is the eagle, Russia is the bear,
Australia is the kangaroo, cause they're kind of weird down there.
Yeah, India is the tiger, that stands so proud and tall,
But Canada is the greatest of them all.

We are the beaver, we're furry and we're free
Yeah, we are the beaver, we got two big front teeth
Yeah, we are the beaver, we can chew right through small trees
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.

You might think a rodent is a pretty lame choice
For a national animal, but don't you listen to that voice.
No, cause all them birds and preditors, just take from the land
But the beaver, always gives a dam.

We are the beaver, we got cute little webbed feet
Yeah, we are the beaver, it's bark we like to eat
Yeah, we are the beaver, a nickel we complete.
Yeah, we are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.

The eagle flies the sky above and swoops down on its prey
The big bear will maul anyone who dares gets in its way
The tiger is the greatest of the hunters today.
But the beaver it can build dams. Yeah,
The beaver it can build dams, dams, dams.

We are the beaver, we slap our tails when danger's nearby
We are the beaver, we got waterproof hides
Yeah, we are the beaver, we got big bums and beady eyes.
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.

We are the beaver, our name is often used as a double entedre
We are the beaver, cause in Canada, both French and English belong
Yeah, we are the beaver, and the subject of this song is
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.
I can't hear you.
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver
Are you getting the point?
We are the beaver, we are the beaver.
We are the beaver[/I]
[B]
Carrot Juice is Murder[/B] - This song is just plain classic. Makes fun of all those PETA animal rights nuts.[I]

Listen up brothers and sisters, come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegtables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, cole slaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream

Chorus:
I've heard the screams of the vegetables(Scream... scream... scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (Having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy..(Burning off calories)
How do you think that feels? (That it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder..(And that's a real crime)
greenhouses prisons for slaves (Let my vegetables go!)
It's time to stop all this gardening..(It's dirty as hell)
Let's call a spade a spade. (is a spade is a spade is a)

I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, I'll bite him clean in two
I'm a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
'Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips, by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, "This is my finest hour!
I'd kill those farmers again, just to save one more cauliflower!"

CHORUS

How low as people do we dare to stoop?
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup
Untie your beans! Uncage your tomatoes!
Let potted plants free! Don't mash that potato!! Whoa!... Whoa!... Whoa!...

I've heard the screams of the vegetables(Scream... scream... scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (Into the stirfryer sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy..(You fat gormet slob)
How do you think that feels? (Leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder..(V-8's genocide)
greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It's time to stop all this gardening..(Take Up macrame)
Let's call a spade a spade. (is a spade is a spade is a)[/I][/COLOR]

[Billy Shears]

[QUOTE=Leon Fury]the two funniest tunes I've heard are actually covers by senses fail and taking back sunday. which were featured on tony hawk's american wasteland.
[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]The original "[B]Institutionalized[/B]" is by the [B]Suicidal Tendencies[/B], I think. It saddens me that [B]Senses Fail [/B] covered it, since pretty much anything Senses Fail does is garbage in my eyes.

"[B]Broken Hearts are for A**holes[/B]", "[B]Wet T-shirt Night[/B]", and "[B]Titties and Beer[/B]" are three very funny [B]Frank Zappa [/B] songs, and they're my favorite funny songs.

Anything Frank does is awesome.

-Billiam[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[sakurasuka]

[size=1]

Pahaha. The 15 Random Songs thread made me remember this.



Yoda - Wierd Al.

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S-O-D-A, soda

I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda"
Y-O-D-A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I left home just a week before
And I've never ever been a Jedi before
But Obi Wan, he set me straight, of course
He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force"

Well I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben
So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again
With my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

So I used the Force
I picked up a box
I lifted some rocks
While I stood on my head
but, I won't forget what Yoda said

He said, "Luke, stay away from the darker side
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide"
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

"I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed"
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess
So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda I guess
But I know that I'll be coming back some day
I'll be playing this part 'till I'm old and gray

The long-term contract I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
Oh with my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda



Yeah, this is the greatest song ever. Can't listen to it without laughing.

[StarWarsFreak]

Muahaha.

[/size]

[Imp]

Yeah, I know this thread is almost a month old, but I can't help it...

The funniest song I have ever heard is a song called "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah", by Allan Sherman. This is a super-funny song about a boy's time at camp. It's so funny that when you listen to the song, you actually hear laughter in the background at all the funny parts!

Anyways, here are the lyrics to that song... (some of the lyrics may be very slightly wrong because I have to type the lyrics by ear, but...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello muddah, hello faddah
Here I am at Camp Grenada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have fun if it stops raining

I went hiking with Joe Spivy
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got food poisoning last night after dinner

All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses

Now, I don't want... This should scare ya...
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party

Take me home
Oh Muddah, Faddah
Take me home
I hate Grenada
Don't leave me
Out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear
Take me home
I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with other boys
Oh please don'e make me stay
I've been here one whole day

Dearest Faddah, darling Muddah
How's my precious little bruddah?
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

Wait a minute
It stopped hailing
Guys are swimming
Guys are sailing
Playing baseball
Gee, that's better
Muddah, Faddah, kindly disregard this letter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:laugh::bellylol::rotflmao:

[Guest WAffleGIR09]

now...thats really, really sick. buuuuuuuutttt....to answer ur question...i like The Haunukah Song by Adam Sandler and Dam Daddi Doo. ^^ but still...an angry inch? nasty. :laugh: :blowup: :drunk:

[Guest persephone jame]

[FONT=Georgia][COLOR=Indigo]theres one by this german metal band, it might be Ramstien, that sings a song in spanish. its called "te quiero puta" and it is so weird to hear german people screaming in spanish.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Mimmsicle]

[quote name='musical_kitten']One song I heard that was really funny was Cows With Guns but I don't remember who its by. It was really funny cause it was talking about a cow revolution where when the cows were hauled off to be butchered they went and put up a fight and it told what happened. It was hilarious.[/quote][FONT=Tahoma][CENTER]^ --> [URL=http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/cowswithguns.php][U]Cows with guns[/U][/URL][/CENTER]

Sara introduced me to the hilarious "[I]Tokyo Love Song[/I]" by [The] Arrogant Worms. Please excuse any inaccuracy since I copied and pasted the lyrics I could find through a Google search, then tried to clean it up >.>


I had a love that was so bright
I used to dream of her each night
and then rush to her side every morning [SIZE=1](oooooo)[/SIZE]
I had her all to myself, we never noticed anyone else
we didn't even hear the radio warnings

Our love was no joke, you know, it was the talk of downtown Tokyo
we'll be happy forever i promised her
But just as i proposed her feet were made to touch her nose as she was crushed
by a Japanese monster.

[SIZE=1]ahhh,[/SIZE] ahhh, [SIZE=3]ahhhh,[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]AHHHHHH GODZILLA![/SIZE]

CHORUS:
Our love was so true, but now she's 3"2
and she used to be 5"11
Her death was unintentional, but now she's 2 dimensional
My angel is truly in heaven.

She was the one I kissed and hugged 'till she was crushed like a bug
I guess it's hard to see a monster above you
She said she'd save her heart for me, but now it's there for all to see
and her last words to me were I--AHHHHHH!

CHORUS

take it george!
(guitar solo)

She was young [SIZE=1](so young)[/SIZE]
and sweet [SIZE=1](so sweet)[/SIZE]
But now she's part [SIZE=1](she's part)[/SIZE]
of the street [SIZE=1](the street)[/SIZE]
And I want [SIZE=1](so much)[/SIZE] to have her back [SIZE=1](come back)[/SIZE]
so I will take a putty knife so I can scrape her from the cracks...
[SIZE=1](oh. we might need a wire brush)[/SIZE]

CHORUS

My angel is truly in heaven
My angel is truly in he-A-ven[/FONT]

[black rurouni]

the funniest song i ever herad is eat it(he took beat it from michael jackson) by Weird Al.that is the funniest song i seen,or heard i still laugh at it even do i seen a lot of times

[Mariskah]

[COLOR=Navy]The funniest song I?ve ever heard is 12 Pains Of Christmas by Bob Rivers from Bob Rivers? Twisted Christmas CD. It?s loosely based on The Twelve Days of Christmas song. I first heard the song as a child. I enjoy the emotions in the different characters voices. My favorite character in it is the Husband putting up the Christmas lights. He starts out slightly annoyed. As the song progresses he becomes more agitated until finally he?s fed up with it. It?s great. The annoyance and frustration expressed by most of the characters as the song progresses is funny. I chuckle every time I hear the song.

One of my favorite lines in the song is ?One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!? since I remember when that was more of a problem with Christmas lights. I also love ?Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!? because this has been a issue at my Dads house until he had some repairs done.

Chorus ( ):

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree.

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Husband (2):
Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Inebriated man (3):
Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated man (4):
Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Five months of bills,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated wife (6):
Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up these lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Angry man (7):
The Salvation Army,
6: Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez!
2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Loud kid (8):
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!
7: Charities
And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, making out these cards,
3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
2: What we have no extension cords?!?
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Another frustrated man (9):
No parking spaces,
8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!
7: Donations!
6: Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Now why the heck are they blinking?!?
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
other (10):
"Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
TV Critic (11):
Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
7: Charities!!
6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A few guys:
Singing Christmas Carols,
11: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking?
8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
7: Charities!
6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
C: Five months of bills,
4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
3: Shut up, you!
2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.[/COLOR]

[Guest MetalMadness122]

That's Your Horoscope For Today by Weird Al is one of the funniest songs I have heard.

Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a
speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a
day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound
watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go
back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through
your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in
the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's
test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's
face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of
strawberry Quik

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick

That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the
relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep
significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give
you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid,
scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not
to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

Where was I?

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than
you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts

next week

Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in
your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know
they're lying
If I were you, I?d lock my doors and windows and never never never never never
leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
That's your horoscope for today

And, as for the Twisted Christmas CD, I love all of those songs!

[Guest LilyBebeboo]

white and nerdy. for sure. not gonna post lyrics. google it.

[Veritas]

[size=1][color=dimgray]Hmmm wow I could probably think of alot of songs, but I just don't feel like posting them all, maybe I will do some more later. Lol first of which I'll say [u][b]Fack - Eminem[/b][/u] , I would post the lyrics, but they are extremly graphic so look them up if you want. The opening skit for[b] Notorious B.I.G.'s Nasty Boy [/b]it pretty amusing. There is a [b]Blink 182[/b] song, it's a bonus song on the [b]Take of Your Pants and Jacket: Jacket CD[/b], it's about intercourse with a grandpa. One last song though [b]CKY's Brandon DiCamilla[/b], [b]with the asian song[/b], I forget it's proper name but it's funny as hell.[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=dimgray][/color][/size]

[Chiyasha]

Sorry to say this, Justin Timberlake's SexyBack. I cannot stop laughing the first time I listen to this song. What's with Justin? Was he too horny and enthusiastic while recording this song? :drunk:

Seriously, I dunno what's going to happen upon this Trousersnake.