Writing Red&Black (M for Language sexually related material and use of drugs)

[madwitch5]

EPISODE #1
Pron

We join red at his house ALONE! Flipping thrue the tv channels when he finds his dad's secret station :faint: , Reds eyes open wide :naughty: :excited: before he knew it he was beating his wanka bar,spanking his monkey,beating his meat :sick: must i say more. At the next moment right befor he explodes his parents walk in! :wow: Gusse what happend next :blowup: .

The lesson is DON'T WATCH PORN!
That includes internet porn
playboy tv
and magazines!!!!!
The next episode with black
Killers

tell me what you think of this please don't be harsh twords this but tell me whats wrong with it and how to fix it.

[Aberinkula]

:animenose you have problems. That's not even a story. It needs more emphasis. No smilies. To much

:sleep: :animecry: :animedepr :catgirl: :animeshy: :animeswea :animeblus :animesmil :animenose smilies. Grammer needs work. Tell more about Red & Black. Dude you told me about this at school. Frankly it's not funny. It is real life. And those lessons. Everybody here knows that. Except excesive hentai watchers.

[madwitch5]

[QUOTE=Split Keyblader]:animenose you have problems. That's not even a story. It needs more emphasis. No smilies. To much

:sleep: :animecry: :animedepr :catgirl: :animeshy: :animeswea :animeblus :animesmil :animenose smilies. Grammer needs work. Tell more about Red & Black. Dude you told me about this at school. Frankly it's not funny. It is real life. And those lessons. Everybody here knows that. Except excesive hentai watchers.[/QUOTE]

now thats funny and its not supposed to be really funny just adding a little sick humor to a disgusting subject and dont talk about excesive hentai watchers like that (rolls back and forth) and i wouldnt talk Mr. retarted stupid and whatever the other thing was i read the replies to yer story :naughty: