Writing The Emerald Guardian [PG-13 VSL]

[Aaryanna]

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[COLOR=SeaGreen]Briana paused for a moment to look at her reflection in the water. She tried to keep a straight face but failed. She looked like a human with reddish brown hair carefully trimmed to keep it out of her face while the rest flowed behind her back to her waist. Her green eyes and small heart shaped face just reinforced the illusion. It didn?t help that she was now required to wear human clothing as well. Briana grimaced at her appearance; she looked like one of the spoiled nobility among the humans with her finely woven green dress.

If you looked closely you could see the hint of different leaves and flowers woven into the overall pattern, but it was still a dress. The only concession to her being a forest guardian was in how the actual dress was carefully designed to not restrict her movements. Unlike human clothing she was not burdened by layers of petticoats or a corset. She also had a circular opening in the back of her dress to accommodate her wings should she decide to use them. The opening was cleverly covered by her long hair, but the entire outfit was also enchanted so that any human looking at her would think she had full petticoats and if they happened to see her back, they would not see the opening for her wings but instead would think she was properly covered as human girls were expected to be.

Briana sighed. She had tried to argue with the elders about the clothing but the ideas of a mere apprentice were simply dismissed. Admittedly her objection was because she preferred to only wear the simple one piece shifts made from the leaves of the magical Shiria trees. All one had to do was simply wrap it around yourself and the material would do the rest. Molding itself to your body, covering only what you wished. It was no different than your own skin except that it kept you warm or breathed in the summer to keep you cool.

Unfortunately in this respect the elders were correct, although the Shiria wraps were ideal. They were easy to detect to those who were sensitive to the flow of magic. Her dress may have been enchanted, but no more than a daughter of a rich noble would have so nothing would be thought of it. Now that humans were increasing in number those who used the magic for their own gain were increasing as well. Just last week one of the guardians had disappeared. Even the elders had been unable to find him or his familiar spirit Drais. Although the elders were keeping quiet, Briana was pretty certain as to what happened. Mersis was either dead or a prisoner of one of the dark lords. Forest Guardians did not disappear.

Briana sighed and took off her slippers and put them in her pouch. Oh how she hated wearing those things! Once the pouch was securely tied she carefully bent over and cupping her hands she took a drink of the cool clear water. She let her hands air dry while her familiar spirit also got a drink. Briana watched as Aries daintily lapped up the water in her disguised form. With her white curly fur and round fluffy head she looked like one of those silly poodles minus the bizarre haircut.

?[B]Why did you choose such a ridiculous disguise?[/B]? Briana asked her. ?[B]Those horrible little yapping poodles are hardly what I would consider a proper disguise![/B]?

Aries finished drinking and turned to Briana and said with great dignity. ?[B]I am not one of those brainless, hyper poodles, I am a Bichon Frise, there?s a difference.[/B]? She finished self-importantly.

?[B]Fine, fine, you?re a Bichon.[/B]? Briana said sarcastically and then sighed. ?[B]I still like your original form better. Even if we are suppose to look normal to the humans it doesn?t mean I have to like it.[/B]?

?[B]Nor do I, but it is necessary and you know it so stop your complaining.[/B]? Aries said. ?[B]Besides, someone is coming and they will think you are crazy for talking to your dog.[/B]?

Briana turned towards the path to see who was coming. Leave it to Aries to show off her ability to detect things before she did. It didn?t help that she was required to depend solely on her passive magic instead of actively scanning her surroundings. The elders were so paranoid these days. Even if the humans found the entrance to their world they would not be able to enter. One simply could not enter unless a Forest Guardian wished it. Was that why Mersis and Drasis had vanished? Was a Dark Lord trying to force them to grant them entry into their realm? It was something she would need to ask the elders when her patrol was done.

She extended her magic as far as she dared without actively sensing what was coming. It was only a woodcutter?s son. Around fifteen years old and he had hurt himself. Not seriously, but there was the hint of blood around him. Briana found a rock covered with moss and sat down and waited for him to arrive. The idiot was probably coming to wash his wound in the cool water, heedless of the contamination it would cause. Foolish humans, they didn?t even understand how to take the water and wash it away from the main source as to keep it from spreading. But then they couldn?t even detect the flow of water, so it was to be expected. Briana sighed. She would help him and then finish her patrol. Aries came over to her side and sat down next to her to wait for the human to arrive as well. [/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

Hai, normally I am not much of a fan of this sort of fantasy tale, but then again your story has only just begun and so far it's pretty good. I like how Brirana seems to be rather annoyed by her current position. I've seen scenes quite like this before where a spirit will be disguised as a girl and help a wanderer in need, but I think this is the first time she's been helping him just to keep him from contaminating the water. Not bad, though I don't think I can rightfully judge it until I've seen more.

[Aaryanna_Mom]

Ah, so this is your mysterious story that you?ve been working on. ;) I agree with Tical Blue that so far it is pretty good. Briana?s attitude even reminds me of you. I also enjoyed the part where Aries is clarifying that she?s a Bichon and not a poodle. It added a nice bit of humor and at the same time helped to define Aries personality.

Anyway, I?ll be keeping an eye out as I am curious as to how Briana and the human will get along. If you need any help with proofreading just ask and I?ll take a look. I may not have attended school since before you were born, but I can still spot typos and such. ;)

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]I love fantasy and so far I think you have a pretty good start for your story. I like how Briana is upset over being required to dress and look like a human and the distain displayed by her familiar spirit over being mistaken as a hyper poodle is quite hilarious. I also like how Briana is annoyed over needing to help a human to avoid contamination of the water instead out of a desire to help him because he is actually hurt.

Anyway, the only thing I see wrong is a tiny typo here where you used the word that instead of than before the 'your own skin'[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=SeaGreen']It was no different that your own skin except that it kept you warm or breathed in the summer to keep you cool. [/COLOR][/quote]Anyway, I look forward to seeing more of your story. :)[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='Tical Blue]Hai, normally I am not much of a fan of this sort of fantasy tale, but then again your story has only just begun and so far it's pretty good. I like how Brirana seems to be rather annoyed by her current position. I've seen scenes quite like this before where a spirit will be disguised as a girl and help a wanderer in need, but I think this is the first time she's been helping him just to keep him from contaminating the water. Not bad, though I don't think I can rightfully judge it until I've seen more.[/QUOTE]Thank you for the input. ^_^ It?s the first time I?ve written my own story so I?ve been worried that I would end up being overly influenced by everything I?ve already read or seen. I?m sure you already know as you have written stories yourself, but it?s turning out to be much harder than I thought. It seemed so much easier when I wrote the outline for it down. But to actually write the chapters, it's far more time consuming. [QUOTE=Aaryanna_Mom'] If you need any help with proofreading just ask and I?ll take a look. I may not have attended school since before you were born, but I can still spot typos and such. ;)[/quote]Only if you promise to not be shocked by what your little girl is writing Mom. :p [QUOTE=indifference][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]I love fantasy and so far I think you have a pretty good start for your story. I like how Briana is upset over being required to dress and look like a human and the distain displayed by her familiar spirit over being mistaken as a hyper poodle is quite hilarious. I also like how Briana is annoyed over needing to help a human to avoid contamination of the water instead out of a desire to help him because he is actually hurt.

Anyway, the only thing I see wrong is a tiny typo here where you used the word that instead of than before the 'your own skin'Anyway, I look forward to seeing more of your story. :)[/COLOR][/QUOTE]Thanks for your input and the tip on the typo indifference. Hehe, word isn?t very good at catching words that are the wrong one but spelled correctly. Anyway, here's the next chapter. ^_^

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Alan paused for a moment, sitting down on a huge fallen tree trunk. Carefully he checked the blood soaked bandages on his right leg. He would need to change them soon or he would be leaving a trail of blood. Alan sighed. It was his own fault that he had gotten hurt. He had fallen into the habit of using game trails instead of sticking to the main road when heading out for work. Alan had thought nothing of it since the road did not go straight through but instead swung out to avoid some of the small hills in the area. It made travel easier for the merchants, but for someone like him it meant unnecessary time wasted when following the game trails was so much quicker.

Alan had been traveling the same game trail for months and in all that time he had never encountered any traps. But then trappers often switched from section to section when hunting to avoid over trapping an area. With a sigh he picked up his pack and continued on his way. There was a small pond up ahead where he could clean the wound and re-bandage it. At least he was already done for the day and once his wound was treated, even though it was minor he would surely be allowed a day or two off in order to recover. Even if a healer used a touch of magic to ensure the wound did not become worse, everyone knew that a wound needed time to recover before returning to work.

More importantly he hoped the trapper wouldn?t be too upset, as he had needed to cut his way free. Especially since he was not suppose to be traveling through the woods in the first place. His parents, his master and the town governor had clearly stated that traveling in the woods was forbidden for children and apprentices unless an adult accompanied them. No, he would not only get the lecture of his life, but he would probably be required to pay for replacing the trap he had destroyed.

It made no sense to Alan, sure he could understand how little children would get lost, but someone like him who was almost a man? Everyone whispered of dark magic and dangerous creatures, but other than the simple magic performed by the town healer or his mother as she used her tiny bit of magic around the house, he had never seen any form of ?dark? magic. [I]It?s probably just an old wives tale[/I], Alan thought to himself. The people of the village were certainly superstitious enough. Sure there were strange creatures in the woods, but that was hardly proof that there were dark lords. Or that there were forest spirits as well.

Somehow he just couldn?t bring himself to believe that magical creatures with pointed ears, slender bodies and shimmering wings really existed. The last time someone claimed that they had seen one was several hundred years ago! And the pictures that were drawn of them well they were laughable at best. Alan shook his head and continued limping down the path, so lost in thought that he practically jumped out of his skin when he heard a growling sound in front of him.

With a start he stopped dead in his tracks, his heart pounding as he was certain the smell of blood had attracted something. With yet another start he looked up to see a girl dressed in a green dress of the finest fabric sitting on a moss covered rock next to the pool. And though he was relieved to realize that the growling sound was coming from the little white dog sitting next to her, he was horrified at the thought of being caught trespassing on a noble?s estate! [I]I?m in for it now![/I] He thought. Alan had known that a lot of the land belonged to different estates, but his education did not include studying maps of the area. Maps were expensive to produce and therefore not something a mere apprentice would have. Unless he was required to travel more than a days walk he was expected to follow the roads. Alan started to apologize but the girl interrupted him.

?[B]Sit down.[/B]? She commanded him indicating another rock close to where he was.

Startled by her forwardness Alan set his pack down next to the rock and took a seat. Once he was seated the girl continued.

?[B]You were planning on washing your wound in the pond weren?t you?[/B]? She said accusingly. Alan opened his mouth to respond and then clamped it shut at her angry expression.

?[B]I thought so,[/B]? she said her eyes flashing with anger. ?[B]Don?t you know that doing so will contaminate the water? Even a child would know better.[/B]?

Speechless Alan watched as she got up and walked over to where he was sitting. He watched as she took the container for water from his pack and went and filled it with water from the pond before returning to where he sat.

?[B]What are you waiting for?[/B]? She demanded when she returned. ?[B]You do have a medical kit don?t you? I?m going to need it to re-dress that wound of yours.[/B]?

?[B]Uh..Yes my lady,[/B]? Alan stammered as he reached into his pack to retrieve the medical kit. Before he could offer it to her, she knelt in front of him and reached out and took it from him. Alan watched as she quickly undid the bandage, cleaned the wound and to his surprise she applied the necessary healing to help the wound heal properly. [I] No wonder she knows about the water![/I] He thought. [I]She must be a healer![/I]

Within a matter of minutes she was finished. Then to Alan?s surprise she took the water and carefully poured it where it wouldn?t get back into the pond. Then she handed him the medical kit and walked back over to where her dog had calmly sat the entire time. Faced with her angry eyes on him Alan felt himself blush hotly. With the surprise of her being there and helping him fading he realized just how beautiful she was. With her heart shaped face, reddish brown hair and eyes so green that they looked like jewels, she was easily the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

?[B]What are you waiting for?[/B]? She demanded when he did not move. ?[B]If you don?t hurry it will be dark before you get home.[/B]?

?[B]Yes my lady,[/B]? Alan stammered as he got up. ?[B]Thank you for your help.[/B]? He bent over to pick up his pack and when he looked up again she was gone. [I]What the hell?[/I] He thought.[I] I didn?t even hear her leave![/I] Alan looked down at the bandage as if to reassure himself that he hadn?t imagined what had just happened. It was obvious she had known what she was doing. It was as neatly done and dressed as the work he had seen done by other healers. [I]I guess that explains why she was in the woods[/I] he thought. Even though she has seemed no older than say fifteen years old, it was obvious she knew what she was doing. She probably already had full healer status. Giving her the right to be in the woods alone. [I]I wonder what her name was?[/I] He wondered as he left the pond and continued towards the village.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=SeaGreen']Only if you promise to not be shocked by what your little girl is writing Mom. :p [/COLOR][/quote]I?ll certainly do my best sweetie. But I?m sure you know that for a parent you?re always their ?little girl.? ;)

As for the second chapter, I think you did an excellent job with it. The first few paragraphs were nicely done as it gave you a bit of insight as to how and why Alan was hurt and the way Briana just bossed him around was hilarious. It reminded me of you. ;) I also like how once she was done, the moment his attention was elsewhere she seemed to have just vanished. As a forest guardian it would make sense. Her duty to assist him was over and instead of stick around for pointless conversation she immediately left. So it really felt natural and in character as to how she behaved.

I?ll be looking for chapter three as I am curious as to when the dark lord will be introduced as the first chapter implies that one of their own might have been captured or killed by one.

[2010DigitalBoy]

This chapter was pretty good, once again it stands beside a few cliches but your writing is just fine and you seem to have a pretty fair story coming along. One thing you should definetally note, when someone is thinking, put their thoughts in italic, otherwise it looks like your just writing normal and its a bit confusing ^^;;

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='Tical Blue']This chapter was pretty good, once again it stands beside a few cliches but your writing is just fine and you seem to have a pretty fair story coming along. One thing you should definetally note, when someone is thinking, put their thoughts in italic, otherwise it looks like your just writing normal and its a bit confusing ^^;;[/quote]Thanks again for your input. ^_^ I didn't think to separate his actual thoughts from the descriptions of how he was feeling and thinking. Now that I look at it again, you're right it is confusing. So I went back and changed it so I hope it's less confusing this time around. ^_^ I'll be sure to remember to do that in the future.[/COLOR]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Another excellent chapter. I agree with Tical Blue, it is much easier to read now that you went back and made all the direct thoughts in Italics. I also agree with your mom, the way Briana bossed him around was perfect. It really fit with how I pictured her from the first chapter. Anyway, I look forward to the next installment. [/COLOR]

[Ikillion]

[COLOR=#234d8a][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Hn, after much darting around and laziness I have finally managed to get around and read said story. Also for the record, I third said bullying around of Alan from Briana. It could only help but bring a smile if not a laugh from me. Im guessing that I have been in a somewhat similar position when dealing with women.

Trying not to be Cliche and agree on the same thing that everyone else has mentioned. Since I am guessing that this story is from a more of Third-person omniesent point of view. I liked how much that you made it a firm ideal that she is a forest guardian, and then there are humans. how their two worlds are completly different and arnt ment to be slewn together. However it is from this same thing that I have a feeling that Briana may bee one of those princess trapped alone in the castle as the whole world changes around her. Yet thats just me and it could be the sleepiness talking.

Other than that there is nothing else I can think of to add as credit or support since everyone else seems to have done this. Beware the Bichon Frise.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='indifference][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue] I also agree with your mom, the way Briana bossed him around was perfect. It really fit with how I pictured her from the first chapter. [/COLOR][/QUOTE]Hehe, thanks. She?s supposed to be a bit on the forward and bossy side even for her race. ^_^ [QUOTE=Ikillion][COLOR=#234d8a][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS] However it is from this same thing that I have a feeling that Briana may bee one of those princess trapped alone in the castle as the whole world changes around her. [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]Well?yes and no, she is different, but not in that type of manner. I think the next chapter will help to explain that a little better. [QUOTE=Ikillion][COLOR=#234d8a][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS] Beware the Bichon Frise.[/FONT][/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote]Hehe, ^_~ I figured that if the guardians in my story were going to have familiar spirits that I might as well have mine disguise herself as a Bichon Frise, though I suppose on that level it made me a bit predictable. Anyway, thanks for reading everyone and for the comments and tips. ^_^


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Briana didn?t waste any time, the moment the human?s attention was elsewhere she wrapped herself within the protective magic of a forest guardian and with a deft mental twist she along with her familiar spirit Aries were off. She did not bother to look back as she knew that a human who lacked magic would not be able to see her anymore now that she was cloaked within her magic. Swiftly and surely as only a guardian could she followed the trail that the human had been using. Unless she was quick the traces from the trap he had fallen into would already be gone.

Aries followed her without a word. She too had sensed the dark magic that had infected the human. Briana had cleansed the taint, but unless another human with excellent magical skills had checked his wound it would have gone undiscovered. And most healers lacked that kind of power. For such a thing to be present meant that just as Briana had suspected, a Dark Lord was most likely behind it. If both Mersis and Drasis had found other traps it would certainly explain why they disappeared. If a Dark Lord was on the move again the last thing he or she would want is to draw the attention of the Forest Guardians. [I]I wonder if they are still alive?[/I] She thought.

The last time those of her world had dealt with a Dark Lord had been several hundred years ago. Long before Briana was born. But when she was accepted to become a guardian, she had studied the history woven into the dreamer rolls. Enchanted with magic they contained the memories and experiences of previous Forest Guardians. They had defeated the Dark Lord, but at a terrible price, many guardians and humans had perished in the struggle.

When Briana arrived at the location where the trap had been she found that she was too late. Only the residue of lingering pain from the human being hurt remained. And only a tiny hint of dark magic that was fading indicated that the Dark Lord or their servants had most likely removed any traces of the trap. Within a few minutes even that faded and careful searching of the area by both Briana and Aries turned up nothing more than some disturbances caused by the movement of the human she had helped.

?[B]We need to report this to the elders immediately.[/B]? Aries said.

?[B]I know, we can ask the next guardian to check the part of our patrol that we missed.[/B]? Briana said.

Without another word both of them traveled to the point where the two worlds connected. The wooded area they came too seemed no different than any other place but when Briana and Aries entered the area a ripple in the air seemed to form in the center of the small clearing. Without hesitation both Briana and Aries entered the doorway and the air shifted a bit before returning to normal leaving the tiny clearing empty.

?[B]You?re back early.[/B]? A voice said from behind Briana. She turned around to see another forest guardian with his familiar spirit already in human form preparing to enter the portal she had just come from.

?[B]I need to report something important to the elders.[/B]? Briana said. ?[B]Could you please check the last segment of my area for me? I would not ask if it were not important.[/B]?

?[B]So long as you promise to tell me why when I am done.[/B]? The other guardian replied. He didn?t wait for a response but simply left through the portal along with his familiar spirit. Briana waited until he was gone before extending her shimmering wings and picking up Aries before taking flight.

Every time Briana flew among the huge Shiria trees that were their homes when she returned from the human world, she was struck by how destructive the humans with their lack of magic really were. They destroyed the trees in their forests to make their homes but her race used magic to influence the growth of the trees to make enclosures inside the trees like bubbles of air in water. Similar to the nests of birds they would weave and grow and create anything they needed to live inside the nearly round dwellings only accessible by a small hole just big enough to fly inside. Each tree was fully big enough to support over ten dwellings and many of the dwellings were large enough to easily support families as large as six members.

Everywhere you looked it was green with leaves, vines and flowers. On the ground there were others busy with some type of work, either preparing food, cleaning or children giggling as they flew among the trees playing silly games of tag. There were those who were being trained depending on their abilities and off in the distance Briana could see others playing in the special hot springs that had been carefully made to cascade down upon a gentle hill just outside the main trees where the homes were. Each spring drained into the one below it, some were hotter than others. There were also pools carefully enclosed in greenery to provide privacy for adults who were interested in more than just bathing and shallow pools at the very bottom of the hill exclusively for the smallest children so that they too could enjoy playing in the springs.

Magic was at work in keeping the water flowing evenly and the temperature for the pools just right and at the very bottom of the pools before the water entered the stream that flowed through the valley, magic cleansed any impurities that occurred due to those who washed or played in the pools so that plant and animal life would be unaffected. Briana turned her attention back towards her destination. As much as she wanted to bathe to get rid of any lingering taint from the polluted air of the human world, her report came first.

In the center of the huge valley surrounded by lush green mountains was an enormous Shiria tree. Hundreds of feet wide at the base it easy dwarfed the other trees in the area. Briana headed for the top most section, as it was the chamber where the Elders would be. Unlike the other trees, this one was so huge that it had close to twenty different dwellings, all of them dedicated to the government of their world. Some took care of those who grew the food, where others were responsible for overseeing the training and schooling of the children. It was here that everyone came to be measured and assigned to the area their inner magic was most suited for.

As much as she would like to return to her regular form before reporting to the Elders she was still on duty and the last time she had changed back before reporting, even though she was back in her own realm she had been lectured about staying in human form should she need to quickly return to the human world. Briana continued to fly among the giant Shiria trees tightly holding Aries. She was deep in thought as she effortlessly flew among the giant branches.

It was rather annoying that she had to stay in her human form since Briana was unusual compared to other guardians in that her magical abilities were quite strong. Unlike humans whose internal ability at magic was rather limited, those of the guardian world were magical in nature. One was only limited in what they could do by their own inner strength. Most humans other than small magic?s were dependant upon the flow of magic in their world. It could be found almost anywhere, in the air, the water, the trees, all living things gave off magical energy and only those who were mages among the humans were skilled at gathering this energy to use as their own. Most of them lacked this ability.

Guardians could also use this energy, but they did not need it as such magic came from within themselves. They still learned how to harness and use this power as part of their training. After all if they did not understand it they would not know how to counter it and humans were known for striking first and asking questions after the damage was done. Briana sighed to herself. Her magic was strong enough that changing forms was as easy as breathing, but the Elders did not care. The one time she had pointed this out she had been lectured about lacking the maturity to understand the need to not use one?s magic recklessly.

With a sigh of exasperation Briana landed just inside the opening to the Elder?s chamber. Carefully she set Aries down on the floor. As soon as her report was done, she could finally go and get cleaned up. Now if she could just get some answers in regards to the disappearance of Mersis and Drasis. Surely the Elders knew something of their whereabouts. She hurried as fast as she dared without appearing disrespectful. Briana wrinkled her nose in distaste as she could still smell the pollution from the human world on her skin and clothing. [I]I definitely need a bath[/I]. She thought to herself.[/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

Not bad at all, I think this was my favorite chapter, as it showed us a lot more about Briana's race, and you've begun to establish a plot. Your description of the valley home of the guardians was very cool, and all of your story is well-written.

The only major suggestion I have is that you take the description of the valley and the part about the lectures and flip them around. The reason I say that is because when you talked about Briana's lectures, she's supposed to be flying through the air, right? But you hadn't described what she was flying through. I assumed it was a forset-like area, but that doesn't do muuch. If you gave the description first, then we'd have the image of Briana flying through the lush greens of the immense valley as you told us about her lectures.

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]That was an excellent chapter. I really like the detail that went into describing Briana?s world as it really made her race stand out as something that was completely different from the human world. The only suggestion I have is the same that Tical Blue already mentioned. I too was imagining that Briana was simply flying through another forest, but your descriptions were something far more than just a simple forest. It would definitely give the chapter a deeper impact if the descriptions were given first. Then your imagination would be of her flying among the giant trees you described. [/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen]Thank you both for the suggestion. ^_^ I went back and modified it and reworded it a little so the description would be first. I really appreciate the input since I think both of you are right in how describing it first makes it far more interesting. It didn?t occur to me that people would imagine a normal forest instead of her home. I suppose that's the drawback of being the author, I already know what it's supposed to look like so I didn't think to put the descriptions first. Anyway, thank you so much! ^_^[/COLOR]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue][quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=SeaGreen']It didn?t occur to me that people would imagine a normal forest instead of her home. I suppose that's the drawback of being the author, I already know what it's supposed to look like so I didn't think to put the descriptions first.[/COLOR][/quote]Well you certainly caught me by surprise with the description of Briana?s world. I don?t know what I was expecting, but nothing along the lines of what you described. Now that you?ve gone back and restructured the chapter I like it even better as it definitely gets you imagining what it must be like to fly among such trees.

On another note, the way Briana keeps thinking about both Mersis and Drasis has me wondering if those two are going to pop up again in the story instead of being dead. I find that I am imagining that those two are prisoners of the Dark Lord she keeps referring too. So I am curious to know their fate. Anyway, excellent work on restructuring chapter three. [/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='indifference][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue']On another note, the way Briana keeps thinking about both Mersis and Drasis has me wondering if those two are going to pop up again in the story instead of being dead. I find that I am imagining that those two are prisoners of the Dark Lord she keeps referring too. So I am curious to know their fate. [/COLOR][/quote]Interesting that you should mention them. Well just read and you will see. Thanks again for your comments. ^_^

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Mersis was having trouble keeping track of how long it had been since he woke up to find himself a prisoner. He knew it was at least two weeks, but only because he could not get the memory of being tortured out of his mind. Every time he woke up it was the same. Within a short time of waking up they would come for him. At first he had tried to resist, but the silver manacles fastening his wrists together and his ankles together were not just metal. They had been carefully forged with magic and he was not strong enough to break them. Even his magic was not strong enough. And even if he did, the room he was in was carefully shielded with layer upon layer of magical shields that reflected anything he did back at him.

It made no sense to him as each time they dragged him to the other room and fastened him down to a table made of the same silver of his restraints, not once did anyone ask him any questions. They would simply channel their magic through a strange device, which in turn produced a strange type of light, which flowed through the table he was bound to and in turn through him. It was unbearably painful and the humans seemed oblivious to his screams of agony. Even if he blacked out from the pain they would simply wait for him to wake up before continuing. Then after a while they would take him back to his cell and simply leave him there on the crude pallet of straw with a few blankets and meager pillows.

The room itself was completely empty other than the crude sleeping accommodations and a small plate that was always kept filled with fresh bread and cheese along with a container filled with water and a glass for drinking it. Though other than to drink the water Mersis was usually to nauseated from being tortured to eat the food they provided. It often took all the energy he had just to make use of the hole in one corner, which served as a means to relieve oneself and then to crawl back to the pallet and pull a blanket over himself.

What hurt more than even the torture was not knowing what had happened to Drasis. Other than a vague memory of alarm and then pain followed by blackness Mersis didn?t know what had happened. He and Drasis had been investigating some traps in the forest laced with a type of Dark Magic that seemed to be designed to infect whatever was caught in the trap. He had isolated one of the traps and was preparing to take it back to show the elders when something struck him. The next thing he knew he was here in this cell. All of his possessions were gone. He had been dressed in a simple shirt and pants and whatever had hit him had broken the magic that kept him in human form.

But so far who ever had captured him had not come forward or said anything. Mersis?s questions as to what had happened to Drasis or as to why they refused to release him were ignored. And the fact that even though Forest Guardians looked similar to humans his slender build and slightly pointed ears along with his green eyes and hair were not commented on. He had expected some form of demand but so far there had been nothing. He didn?t even know why they were torturing him. It made no sense whatsoever. But then the humans often did things that baffled those of the guardian world. The sound of the door opening brought tears to his eyes as they had come for him yet again.

As they dragged him away he was overcome with grief. He had tried to remain hopeful, but as the days dragged by, the more he became certain that Drasis was probably dead. And the fact that Briana or Aries or any of the other guardians had yet to find him lent creditability to the idea that they probably thought he was dead as well. It was a thought that had haunted him for the past few days when no one had come to free him. [I] I wish I was dead.[/I] He thought with despair as they once again began to fasten him to the table.

Dirk opened the curtains to the balcony overlooking the inner court of his castle. Wrapped in the finest velvet and silk pajamas and holding a glass of the finest wine in one hand he walked out and leaned against the balcony and looked down. In spite of it being after midnight the area was well lit by oil lanterns and Dirk?s servants were hard at work preparing the traps while his apprentices were putting the necessary final touches on them. The traps themselves would only cause minor and relatively harmless physical wounds.

Dirk smiled. Before long everything would be in place. It would only be a matter of time before enough people were affected by the dark magic. It had taken his previous master decades to develop the spell. Once someone was infected it would hide waiting for the right moment to spread to another person. Before long it would spread through out the entire kingdom. And when it did, Dirk smiled again.

?[B]Master Dirk.[/B]? A voice called out from within his room. Dirk turned and went back into his bedroom. He ignored the servant patiently waiting at attention and stopped for a minute to admire himself in the giant mirror that ran along one of the bedroom walls. Dirk had already been handsome with his finely chiseled looks. With dark black hair, striking blue eyes and a body that was finely muscled he had easily attracted the attention of the ladies as a child. As he grew in power he had used some of his magic to enhance his looks and body, giving him a more refined and polished look. With the slight aura of sexual attraction he excluded with his magic, no one had been able to resist him. He turned back to the servant.

?[B]Speak,[/B]? he commanded.

?[B]My lord, the forest spirit has begun to despair as you predicted.[/B]? The servant said.

Dirk smiled. ?[B]Good, continue with the entertainment for a few more days. What of the other one?[/B]?

?[B]It too has fallen into a state of despair.[/B]?

?[B]Excellent. You may go.[/B]? Dirk dismissed the servant and turned back to the balcony. With a wave of his hand he closed the curtains with his magic. Once the human world was his, he would take over the world belonging to the forest spirits. And once he had control of the magic he would finally be able to make his vision of the world a reality. [/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue]Well you?ve certainly established a plot with the last chapter! I?ve been following along and haven?t posted since others were pretty much stating the same way I felt. But now that it?s starting to take off I had to say something. If you were looking to create a villain that your audience will want dead you?re off to a good start. The way Dirk was referring to the torture of poor Mersis as ?Entertainment? was downright chilling. *shivers*

I only have one question. Since you used a different picture for a banner this time I take it that the boy and owl is suppose to be Mersis and Drasis? I?m assuming that like Aries who chooses to look like a Bichon, Drasis has chosen to look like an owl.

Oh and the other thing, I too loved the description of Briana?s home in the previous chapter. I really loved the descriptions of the giant trees. ^_^[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue']I only have one question. Since you used a different picture for a banner this time I take it that the boy and owl is suppose to be Mersis and Drasis? I?m assuming that like Aries who chooses to look like a Bichon, Drasis has chosen to look like an owl. [/COLOR][/quote]Correct. ^_^ It?s suppose to be Mersis and Drasis as they often will choose a form based on their personality and the area they are responsible for patrolling. Thanks for commenting. ^_^

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Aries was worried about Briana, ever since the Elders had dismissed her concerns as a careless human who lacked the ability to wield their magic properly, she had become withdrawn. At first Aries thought she was angry over not being taken seriously, but she had never stayed angry for very long. It had been several days since the Elder?s had dismissed her report and Briana was still quiet and withdrawn. Aries sighed a little as she finished changing into a Bichon for the patrol.

Briana was sitting on her bed staring blankly at the walls of her dwelling, like Aries she too was already changed and prepared for their daily patrol. With a mischievous wag of her tail Aries leaped onto her bed and like the dog shape she had assumed she began to frivolously wade through the blankets, growling and kicking and shoving them around the bed.

?[B]Aries! What are you doing?[/B]? Briana exclaimed as she caught a blanket before it fell to the floor.

Aries didn?t answer but instead leaped from her spot on the bed onto Briana catching her by surprise and knocking both her and the blanket to the floor. Aries walked over from where she landed and licked Briana on the nose before sitting down.

?[B]You?ve been moping around long enough. It?s not good to keep your thoughts to yourself.[/B]? Aries said. ?[B]I miss Mersis and Drasis too![/B]?

Briana got up and put the blankets back on the bed before responding. ?[B]That?s not why I?m upset.[/B]?

?[B]I saw you and Mersis exchange tokens Briana. Though why you keep yours hidden instead of wearing it openly in your hair like Mersis did I don?t understand.[/B]? Aries said.

Briana blushed hotly. ?[B]It?s not what you think! I don?t wear mine because we have not exchanged vows![/B]? She looked away before continuing. ?[B]The tokens serve another purpose.[/B]?

?[B]Then why did Mersis wear his?[/B]? Aries asked.

?[B]You know Mersis, he was always poking fun at stuff. I told him people would get the wrong idea if they knew I gave it to him, but he just laughed and wore it anyway.[/B]?

?[B]What was it for if not for exchanging a vow?[/B]? Aries asked.

Briana hesitated. If she told Aries now, she might interfere with what she had in mind. Even if the two were strongly bound together due to their oath as guardians, Aries could not approve of what she was about to do.

?[B]How about I tell you while we work on our patrol?[/B]? She finally said.

Aries could tell that Briana was still holding back. [I]I wonder what she is thinking.[/I] She thought before replying reluctantly. ?[B]All right.[/B]?

Alan waited until his parents and only brother had left the home for work before gathering some things and leaving for the forest. Today was the last day that he would have enough free time to search for the mysterious girl who had healed him. When he had gotten home that night after being lectured for foolishly traveling through the forest instead of along the road his parents had called in the town healer who had checked his wound to make sure he had been properly attended to.

Later when his parents had thought he was asleep he had over hear them talking. Not only did they not know who the girl was, but none of the hunters were even trapping in that area. The next day Alan could tell that unlike other healers, she had done more and a quick look at his wound had startled him. It was not only much better, but actually gone! It had healed so completely that it was if he hadn?t even been hurt! For reasons he himself didn?t completely understand, Alan told no one, not even his parents about how quickly he had healed.

He stayed in his room as ordered by the town healer for the next couple of days, but he couldn?t quit thinking about the girl who had healed him. It was last night that he decided to go and hunt for her. After what had happened his parents were moving him to the small guild building where he worked. Once that happened he would have no reason to travel through the woods as the building was next to the road that went straight to Lord Dirk?s castle. And Alan was sure that his master had already been instructed by his parents to keep a close eye on him. No, once that happened there would be no more excursions into the woods for him. At least not until he finished his apprenticeship, and that was several years away as most were not granted master status until they were at least eighteen years of age.

Alan quickly slipped from the back door of the small cottage and into the trees. [I]Good thing we live next to the forest[/I] he thought. It made slipping away that much easier. [I]If I?m lucky, no one will even know I was gone today.[/I] Mom and dad and his brother Tom wouldn?t even realize that the pillows carefully placed under the blankets weren?t him so long as they didn?t try to talk to him. They would most likely assume that when he didn?t reply that he was resting as he was supposed to. Alan hesitated a moment, turned and looked back at the small village, for a moment he almost gave up and went back. But then taking a deep breath he strengthened his resolve and turned and continued into the forest. [/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue]Sounds like Briana and Alan are going to run into each other again. I find myself wondering if those two will end up working together to save both Mersis and Drasis. And you?ve got me curious as to what the token that Aries is referring to is. ?Exchanging Vows? and all. Is that their way of committing to a partner? Much in the way we use rings for a wedding? ^_~ Anyway, excellent job. I liked the part were Aries was a bit silly by playing among the blankets and acting goofy to get Briana?s attention. Though I suppose that?s because I?ve seen your own little Bichon do the same. With my clean laundry no less! ^_~ [/COLOR]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]I?m almost sorry I asked. Poor Mersis. I agree with SunfallE, you?re off to a good start if you are attempting to create a villain your readers want dead. So is Dirk just torturing him for fun or does he actually have some devious plot in mind?

As for the scene where Aries behaved like a dog and rolled in the blankets so to speak. I can almost imagine your own dog doing that as well. Though I suppose that unlike Aries she doesn?t speak to you. ;) Anyway, keep up the good work.
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[Mariskah]

[COLOR=Navy]Alright to begin with I like how you have the dog in your story as a Bichon. It just fits you perfectly. And the way you had Briana bossing Alan around?*snicker* that?s so you as well. ^_~ The world you described with the great trees in Briana?s home was well done and even your villain was downright creepy.

So my only question is are you still writing this? Now that I?ve read it I?m curious to know more. Especially since it seems you were setting things up for Briana and Alan to meet again. And I?m curious to know just what Briana has been hiding from Aries.

Also that part where you had Aries acting like a dog and messing up the bed was just too funny by the way. Even more so since I?ve seen your own dog do that and it?s just to funny to watch. ^_~ Anyway, I look foward to reading more of your story.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue'] Though I suppose that?s because I?ve seen your own little Bichon do the same. With my clean laundry no less! ^_~ [/COLOR][/quote]So she likes to play in your clean laundry too. ;) She?s such a funny little dog.

I really like how you are weaving a bit of her personality into your story. And I too hope you are still working on it as even though it was a bit shocking to see you write about a villain who is quite cruel, I find I am curious to see what happens next. Excellent work sweetie. ;)

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='Mariskah][COLOR=Navy']So my only question is are you still writing this? [/COLOR][/quote]Yeah, I am. I'd like to say I got busy with school and stuff, but the truth is I've been addicted to some of my new video games. >_<

But I've already got a full story outline and sections of each chapter are already written. I just need to actually finsih it. ^_^ Thanks for all the comments though. I really appreciate it everyone.

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In spite of her promise to explain about the tokens Briana was strangely quiet for the first part of their patrol. It was mid morning when they stopped for a moment at the same pond where she had healed the human several days ago. Briana took off the slippers she was wearing and after carefully putting them in her pouch she got a drink from the cool water of the pond. She sat down on a moss-covered rock and gazed at the stream that trickled down from the hill just behind the pond. It was steep enough that in time the erosion from the water would turn the stream into a waterfall, but that was hundreds of years away. But for now it made a pleasant and relaxing sound as the water gently flowed into the pond before the overflow continued on another path towards the main river in this area.

Briana waited until Aries was done getting a drink as well before she spoke. ?[B]You wanted to know about the token Mersis wore. I?ll tell you, but you have to promise to hear me out[/B].?

Aries thought about it for a moment and then spoke. ?[B]Very well, so just what is it that Mersis was wearing if not a token for a vow?[/B]?

?[B]It would be easier if I were to show you,[/B]? Briana said as she reached into her pouch and pulled out her token from Mersis. Aries gave her a strange look but said nothing. Briana walked over to where Aries was sitting and knelt in front of her. She placed the token on her as if it were a collar. Then she got up and sat back down on the moss-covered rock. ?[B]Alright, now that it?s inside your personal shields, scan the item.[/B]?

Aries did as she was told, her eyes widened in surprise when she realized what the token really was. ?[B]What have you done you fool?[/B]? She cried out in dismay.

Briana reddened a bit in anger, ?[B]You promised to hear me out[/B].? She reminded her.

?[B]That was before I knew what you had done![/B]? Aries yelled. ?[B]Are you out of your mind? Not only is the use of tracking magic forbidden in the human world, you have foolishly woven part of Mersis?s own hair into the token! What if a human who is skilled at magic got a hold of it? They could use it to locate Mersis at any time![/B]?

Briana reached into her pouch and pulled out another token and tossed on the ground in front of Aries. ?[B]Don?t you think I would have thought of that?[/B]? She said irritably. ?[B]Try to trace Mersis with that and see what happens.[/B]?

Aries reached out and placed her front paw on the token. A split second later it disappeared in a brilliant flash.

?[B]See! I made sure that unless you are keyed to the magic, any tampering will result in the token being destroyed. Did you really think I would be so foolish as to allow something like that to be used by humans?[/B]? Briana said scornfully, she got up and began to pace back and forth. ?[B]I keyed the one you are wearing so you can use it, go ahead, it only takes a passive scan of the area to get information.[/B]?

Aries gave her a strange look but did as she was told. She scanned the area and then turned to Briana, her eyes wide with shock.

?[B]You see? Mersis?s token is still intact. Which means he?s probably still alive. When he first vanished, the trace to his token vanished as well. I thought that it had been destroyed, but several days ago the trace returned, but only that of the token. If Mersis was still wearing it you would have gotten a sense of how he was. I don?t know if he?s still alive or not, but now that the token has popped up again I intend to find out.[/B]? Briana sat back down on the moss-covered rock and waited for Aries reaction.

It didn?t take long. ?[B]Briana, why did you do this? You know that magic of this nature is forbidden. Why did you and Mersis break your oath as a guardian? Damn it! You know better![/B]?

?[B]I know better?[/B]? Briana said, ?[B]The ones who don?t know better are the foolish elders who think that by restricting the use of magic we will be safe from the humans! Aries, humans are clever! They don?t rely on magic like we do! If we don?t become more skilled and stronger the time will come when the combination of their magic and technology will be strong enough to possibly destroy us[/B]!? Briana paused for a moment and then continued, ?[B]We can?t afford to rely on past knowledge, we need to be seeking new paths and new magic?s to not only protect the forests but our own world as well![/B]?

Aries opened her mouth to protest but Briana ruthlessly cut her off. ?[B]I know our history Aries, every time we have come in conflict with the humans we have suffered terrible losses. Each and every time it has been because they have had either new magic or new technology with which they nearly destroyed us. The old policy of hiding and doing nothing won?t work anymore! Mersis agreed with me, so the two of us have been working on ways to improve the use of magic here in the human world. The token was a result of that work. I suggested researching magic to the elders several years ago but they ignored my concerns.[/B]?

?[B]Maybe they ignored them because they know how dangerous it is to experiment with the magic![/B]? Aries said angrily. ?[B]This is unbelievable! If I had known I would have sealed off your entrance to the human world until you came to your senses![/B]?

?[B]Damn it Aries! You said you would hear me out! Mersis and I were careful! We took every precaution and then some! We?ve been doing this for over a year and yet not once did you even notice that we were doing it![/B]? Briana got up and began to pace again. ?[B]I intend to hunt for Mersis whether you decide to help me or not.[/B]?

Aries once again opened her mouth to reply, but this time a loud splash startled both of them. Startled they turned towards the pond only to see the human that Briana had healed several days before sitting in the water his expression a mixture of surprise and fear.

?[B]Lovely,[/B]? Briana said sarcastically. ?[B]Nice of you to tell me he was here after the fact Aries! You?re the one who?s always boasting on how your passive detection is so much better than using regular magic.[/B]?

?[B]Don?t you dare blame me for this![/B]? Aries said angrily, ignoring the human. ?[B]You didn?t notice he was here either![/B]?

Alan started to stammer out an apology but the two of them ignored him and continued arguing as if he did not exist. [I]What is going on here[/I]? He wondered.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

Excellent chapter. The way you had Briana and Aries arguing really fit how you?ve been describing their characters. Both of them really fit your personality by the way. :p The only thing that seems off is how in the world did Alan manage to fall into the pond? Unless you intend to cover that in the next chapter, in which case I?ll just wait to read and find out! ;)

Oh and great job on your new avatar and banner, very cute! :catgirl:

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue][quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=SeaGreen']Yeah, I am. I'd like to say I got busy with school and stuff, but the truth is I've been addicted to some of my new video games. >_< [/COLOR][/quote]Video games will get ya every time if you let them. ;) Good to see you working on this again. I really enjoyed this chapter as the way you had them arguing really fit how their personalities come across. Don?t take too long to post the next chapter as I?m looking forward to seeing how Alan gets dragged into the whole affair. [/COLOR]