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Asylum M(LVS)


Akieen Cloud
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[COLOR=Purple][B]Let me tell you something I've learned in my time here. Just because you can't see or hear something doesn't mean it isn't there, and just because you don't believe something doesn't mean it's not true. Maybe you're the one who needs to open their eyes and to really listen, to open your heart and just believe. It's no reason to condemn those of us that can see and hear those things. Just because people are different does not mean that they are worthless or less human. Sometimes those of us that appear to be the most insane are in reality the most balanced.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I should start at the beginning of this year, when I was moved from my private room into a larger, shared room. It was quite a change, but for some reason They thought it would be a good idea, something to do with personality evaluations and such. I suppose They had been right. My new room didn't get any bloodstains on the floors.

My new roommates quickly became a reason for me to try and stave off the Darkness. Maybe if I could help myself, I could in turn help them. Turns out that none of us really needed help. At least, not the kind of help that They thought we needed, anyway. One day I had hoped we'd all leave this place and just be normal. Not freaks, not weirdos, not "special," not crazy. Oh, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself again.

Anyway, I was the only long-termer of the bunch. My other four new roomies were either fresh outcasts of the psych ward or were just shipped in by their oh-so-loving families. It makes me sick to think that some people would throw away their child just because the poor thing has a disease, something that may be considered "shameful." Makes me glad I don't have a family. At least when you're a ward of the colony no one pretends to love you. But I digress again. I'm new at this journal writing thing. Guess I better get better pretty damn fast, huh? I don't have that long left to write this. Something needs to remain after we are gone, and our time is rapidly running out.

My main hope became that maybe someday we could all "graduate" and get out of here. Oh, bloody hell, how stupid of me to hope such a thing, especially now.

Guess you're wondering where "here" is, huh? Well, look outside, peer through the bars on our windows, you might be able to see the electrified, razor wire topped fence surrounding the yard. They've got to keep us confined, you see. The nearest neighbors are ten miles away, but we still manage to make them nervous just by existing. I'm student at the Bryce School for Youths with Special Needs. Long and impressive name, huh? Pretty nice for a glorified insane asylum.

My name is Yara Kurushi. I see demons. I am not insane.

I am told by others here who are like me that in the future some of us will be picked out and transferred to another facility where we will be trained and then sent around the world destroying the demons of hell.

Funny, people sometimes wonder if humans are really actually insane.

So, I guess I should tell you a little bit about us. You know, how we got acquainted with each other and our little oddities and such. During the last week of the summer break I was allowed to move my meager possessions to my new larger room. Oh, let me tell you, the best benefit of being moved to a big, shared room is the attached bathroom. Bliss. As for the room, it was actually a rather diminutive space, barely containing its two bunk beds, single bed, two old bureaus, and one small mirror that was glued to the wall. Looks like it wouldn't take much to cover it up. That was a relief. Nothing like waking up at night to find a dream demon peering out from the mirror at you, malevolent purple eyes shining in the darkness.

I immediately took it upon myself to claim the top bunk nearest to the window. Some thoughtful Drone (my all-purpose slang for the vast majority of idiot staff, nurses, and doctors) had put a small shelf up at the bed's level. It was slightly loose and had a convenient little crack in the wall above it. How nice, I remember thinking as I stuffed my ratty school issued plain gray clothing (no pockets, long sleeves, drawstring pants) into a drawer and vaulted up on the bed to have a look.

I remember thinking, 'I'll keep my blades up here.' Oh, yeah, don't give me that. Of course I managed to steal some blades from the infirmary. I've been here long enough that I know the shifts like the back of my hand. For "professionals" the Drones are way too careless. You know what, though? It's funny, someone thought they were being clever with that shelf, and they were really just helping the Darkness keep me a little while longer. Irony. How amusing in a dark sort of way.

So anyway, I ghosted around the room for the rest of the day, wondering when the other occupants were going to get here. In the four years I've been here, I've had extremely bad luck with roommates. One was scared to death of me and tried to bash my skull in with his toothbrush.

The next one was, well, let's just say that my experience with that guy was weird. The Drones would sometimes come for him in the middle of the day, pulling him out of class, out of our room, wherever he happened to be. Guy never said a word to me, but one day I came back to our room and his stuff was gone. It was weird.

The last guy I roomed with I found dead, he had managed to bite his wrists open with his teeth sometime in the middle of the night. What a pleasant sight to wake up to in the morning, huh? At least when I cut I use something nice and sharp. I can't stand sloppy suicides. But you know, the worst part of the whole experience was the tiny scavenger spawnlings tearing at his aura's residual afterglow. Gruesome little beasts gave me the heebie-jeebies, just so damn quiet and so damn creepy at the same time. Ugh. I don't want to think about them right now.

Would these new guys be schizos, splits, paranoids, or, maybe even hallucinators, like me? Yeah, that's back when I thought the demons and visions weren't real. But, hold on, I'll get to that, k? So here I was wondering about the little variety (aka freak) show I would probably soon be witnessing, lying on my bed, and staring out the window.

I believe in multi-tasking my laziness.

After a while I was deep in what some people call environmental withdrawal, and what I call meditation. I was so gone in my thoughts that when the first guy finally walked in, he scared the holy bejeezes out of me. So badly, in fact, that I rolled right of the bunk.

Let me tell you, that hurt like hell. I had a bruise on my side for damn near forever afterwards.

So I'm lying there on the floor, right? I'm clutching my braid in both hands as I tried to recover both my breath and my pride. I had my eyes shut tightly so I wouldn't have to look at the new guy and all I could think was, 'What a wonderful first impression?'
Okay, none of use know that the others in our room can see demons or hear them and such so have your self be escorted tot eh room and introduce your self.[/B] [/COLOR]
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[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I was taking a lot of deep breaths as they were leading me down this seemingly endless hallway. Everything was so sterlie and white...like a hospital, and I hated hospitals. When I had first came here they immideatly made me change into a pair of grey sweats, and disposed of my old clothes. I continued down the hallway, a guard on each side of me, while I clutched tightly to the little leather bound journal and a small pack of pens that I was alowed to have with me.

After a while we had reach the end of the hallway and they began to unlock one of the doors. They threw the door open, obviously startling someone because I could hear the 'thump' of a human mass colliding painfully with the floor. The gaurds just shoved me inside and quickly locked the door and simply left.

I gazed quietly at the girl on the floor until she finally looked towards me. I must have given a slight jolt because she didn't try and come near me. After a long time of us just standing there in silence I finally found my voice.

"H...hi.." I couldn't believe how uncertain I sounded, "I'm Deimonica Wolfe..."[/FONT][/COLOR]
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Though I could not blame them for putting me in here, it did not mean that I could forgive them. What sort of right does one have to condem another for something totally out of their hands? They don't, or that's the way I saw it. Still, there was not a thing I could do about it. As long as I am still able to wear the paint on my face I know that I can keep my sanity, even though he sometimes tests it.

I slipped back on the grey shirt they had given to me when I first came here. Since then I had torn off the sleeves just because they bothered me. I walked to the door where the security man was waiting for me. I stepped out and followed him as he showed me towards what was going to be my new room.

They stopped at the door and pulled it open. They never shoved me, they knew better than too. Besides I was almost always cooperative. No reason to start a fight that I couldn't win, there were too many of them. I stepped through and stood there as two girls looked back at me. I kept my face still and continued to walk into the room. I made my way over to the single bed and I just sat on it and remained there, not speaking a word.
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[B][COLOR=Purple]I remember the first sane thought that went through my head was...
'Get off the floor dumbass.'
So that's what I did, I wiped the shame off my face and stood there rubbing the top of one of my feet on the back of my leg in embaressment that I had been found on the floor by not one but two of my would be room mates. Clearing my throat I looked at them and bowed slighty.
"Sorry, I was taking a nap when the people scared me, that's why I was on the floor. It's good to have some company now, I'm Yara. Pleased to meet you."
I grimaced on the inside by hw shy and innocent I sounded, sheesh if they only knew. I looked at the tiny clock they had given us, that was about all we had other then a bathroom and a mirror, and that was about as much of an improvement as we were gonna get. I remember thinking to myslef how many more would be joining us, that made me worry. I looked at the boy who had just entered and blinked, man there were thousands of worry and hate demons all around him, his aura was completely surrounded. I was about to ask him about it when the other girl caught my attention, she too had a few tag alongs, wow this was gonna be an interesting life here. I put my hands up and shook my head.
"Well I have no idea about you two but I'm kinda hungry. The cafiteria stinks to high heaven and no one knows why, but I can tell you it's not the food. The food here is actually pretty good in this neck of the place. Cool thing is that since the caf does stink so bad we can eat outside or the hallway. Just don't bother the cronies. They tend to take advantage of the samller ones if you catch my drif."
I couldn't understand why it sounded like I was talking to a brick wall...wait, I sorta was. they were new to this half of the hospital I suppose you could call it and I was just being a chatter box. Better to break the ice then let it stand I always say. I remember leading the way down to the luch hall and me and the girl getting to be pretty good friends pretty quickly. For that I was grateful. But what had me puzzeled was the guy that was there with us...he was quiet, I never like quiet. It unnerved me in the worst ways.[/COLOR][/B]
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Kevin Welters

[I]I want to be cured. I want to be cured.[/I] That's what I remember thinking when my former psychotic roommate grabbed my wrists in one hand, and a fistful of my hair in the other. he was staring into my eyes with an intense hatred that sane people just didn't get. His left hand wandered around my head, clutching hair and face, my ear, and finally the frame of my glasses. He was insane, and as much as I wanted to believe the demons I saw were real, I had to accept the reality that I was just like him. (That was a lie I told just now. I don't actually "see" demons. I feel them when they're near me, and their images implant themselves on my brain after their departure.[wait, that too was a lie. I don't see or feel demons. There are no demons. There are no demons.]) God, I want to be cured so badly.

My roommate removed my glasses, still keeping my wrists bound in his right hand, and examined them. Then he put half of them in his mouth and chewed it, the glass breaking and cutting up his gums, lodging in between his teeth and dicing the tip of his tongue. He might have swallowed some. Then he spit up a bloody mess of broken glass into his free left hand (but not without getting a considerable amount on my legs) and with new found glee darted across the room. I sat disgusted and petrified right in my place, and watched him try to slit his throat with tiny pieces of perscription glass. He howled in terrible gurgling pain, and the wardens rushed in to stop him.

I don't know whether that roommate lived or not, but he doesn't matter. I told you that so you could see why, even though I was blind without them, why I was no longer permitted to have glasses (not that it was my fault my roomate tried to kill himself [or did actually kill himself, I don't know] but the wards don't care about blame, just punsihment). I wanted to do everything they wanted me to, anything to speed up my recovery and all that, but I couldn't go anywhere without my glasses. My dad would only visit me on special request, so I asked him to bring me a new pair of glasses, the kind that fold at the bridge into a small bundle the size of an avocado seed, and three plastic baggies. The wards couldn't stop my dad from giving me my glasses, but they would confiscate them the second I was out of the visitors area. One baggie would protect the glasses from the gastric juices in my stomach, and two baggies would stop the metal frame from tearing up my esophagus on their way back up. You get the idea. The hard part was waiting until the wards deposited me into my new room and left to let those glasses come back up.

I vomited for about two minutes straight until my glasses finally came up in the toilet. I should have asked for four baggies, 'cause they came up with blood. I scooped my glasses out and washed them off in the sink, opening the barred window so the bathroom wouldn't stink for too long. I remember thinking at that point, thank God the room was empty.
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I ate silently watching the two girls talk to each other. I remained silent only because I really didn't have mush to say. I'm not very good at small talk. Though I could hear him edging at me in the back of my mind to say something I did not want to listen. He was right though, if I didn't say anything I was going to seem unfriendly to them. Considering these were my new roommates that probably was not a very smart idea.

What to say though? I've been quiet this long I'm sure they aren't expecting anything from me, and what they were talking about right now had no relevance to me. I could just speak up I suppose, or just... Well they stopped talking for a second, now would be as good of time as any.

"You said you're name was Yara right?" I looked at the girl who had been lying on the floor when I walked in. She nodded and then I looked to the other girl. "And Deimonica right?" She nodded as well. "Right, you two can call me Ronin if you like." I paused for a moment to let my speaking sink in, I looked to the floor and kept the emotion out of my voice. "It's kind of a shame... two lovely young girls like you two condemned to a place like this... tragedy really."
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[B][COLOR=Purple]I remember the bark of laughter that came from my throat and laughing till my sides hurt. I looked up at hIm.
"Ronin right?"
He nodded, I let the sarcastic smile spread across my face makeing me look dark and dangerous.
"It would be a tragedy to let me out. You see, I'm not just nuts, I see things...so it wouldn't be all that great to let me out. I'd be running up tp people trying to swipe away all the little-you know what....just forget it."
I cursed my loud mouth inside my head and felt a flush reach my cheeks.
"I'm done, I'm heading back to the room you guys should be able to find it alone...don't go alone though, the cronies here love to corner the newbies if you catch my drift."
I stood and walked back to the room only to stop as I took in the pale looking boy and the slowly filling toilet. He put on a smile pair of glsses making me smile knowingly.
"Next time...cover the bags in some kind of lubriacint...it'll make em' slide along the throat easier"
I looked at the guy, he had little demons circleing his head pokeing him and never leaving his thoughts alone...come to think of it, so did the other two. I sighed and took the top bunk again slideing my hand into the small crevice to make sure no one had found my blades and rooled over on my side thinking of lunch. I had almost let it slip that I supposedly see demons...okay, so I see demons...that doesn't make me weird or like phsyco does it? I took a look around at where I was at and sighed. I suppose it does...I sat up and threw my feet and legs over the sode and decided to take a shower...anthing to make me feel better. I hope.[/COLOR][/B]
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"Get up. You've been in here long enough. Your being sent to another room. Some romm with others in it."
*Another sentry...his name is Thomas. You can kill him easily. But dont. your being given a release from this solitude. You cant like it too much, do you?*
*No Akrasha, I dont. But I like talking to you.*
*Too bad. Get up marcus, and I'll see you while you sleep.*
"I'm coming Thomas. Help me get up?"
"Your not supposed to know my name."
"Oh. Sorry? May you please lead me to my new room?"
*Akrasha? I guess your not here anymore. Good. Poor Thomas... he doesnt know whats happening... what is around and in me... poor fool. I hope he has awesome insurance for his family.*
After a few corridors full of solitary cells, Thomas leads Marcus to the Cafe.
"Here you are. Get yourself some food Marcus. Heres the Room number you'll be sharing with others."
"Oh. Thank you Thomas."
Marcus walks off, Thomas turns around to grasp his heart through his chest. He cant breath, he cant move. His heart attack at 27 kills him.
Marcus smiles. *I knew it. Oh well. Too bad Asmodaeus is in my head now, governing my thoughts and feelings... otherwise, i might have felt regret.*
"Hmm... i'd like a chicken sandwich please."
*Durn I'm hungry.*
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[B][COLOR=Purple]Okay, now I have heard of community rooms but man this was getting ridiculus...there was me and Demonica, Ronin and the weird guy who decieded to puke up his glasses and now there was another guy in the room. Damn. I remember getting out of the shower and walking into the room in my bra and underware, what? I'm not ashamed of myself, to find yet another young man had joined us. They looked at me at that moment like I was from outer space or something so I simply shrugged and pointed out that even though it was a bathroom, it was small and there was barely enough room to get dressed like I was. They still just stared...made me slightly uncomfortable. Well okay not really, like I said I'm far from shy. Or at least I was okay till one of the cronies walked in. I knew the guy, he was probably one of the coolest guys that worked there, treated the patients like people and not just mindless zombies like some here were. He cocked an eyebrow at my aperrance making me flush slightly.
"What like you've never seen a women before? I know you've been laid."
"Many times, I'm married."
"Than stop googeling me."
I climbed up to my bunk and grabbed the grey uniform that had been issued to us.
"Don't worry about that Yara, since you all have been moved from solitary you get to wear civilian clothes."
"Seriously?"
"Uh huh. I came to ask what you all want and to go and get it for you and bring it all back to you. Sound okay?"
I jumped off the bed and regaurdless of my state of dress hugged the guy till he was blue.
"Better then okay, that's great!"
I told him what I wanted, likeing the imgae of myself in my head and finished it off with a request for a silver scythe charm necklace, he looked at me funny for that but agreed none the less. I spun around the room in one of my happy dazes.
"We're getting normal clothes! Oh this rocks out loud!"
I jumped back onto the bed and looked down as someone poked me in the shoulder.
"Yeah?"
It was the new guy...or the latesest new guy anyway.
"Would it be to much to ask if you could get dressed? Wether you know it or not there are others in the room besides you and it is makeing us all slightly uncomfortable."
"Yeah yeah."
I stuck out my tounge and hopped down slipping on the grey outfit that I would soon be throwing away anyway and then jumped back onto the bed. He smirked and looked up at me.
"There, isnt that better?"
"You know kiddo, society doens't like smartasses."
All I got was a cocky smile from the guy...I remember thinking at that moment that me and this guy were gonna get along pretty well, even if something about him did throw me off, the fact that I couldnt see anything around him and then suddenly every now and then I would see a falsh of something and then it was gone...It kinda freaked me out but who am I to judge...hell I'm crazy right?[/COLOR][/B]
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Kevin Welters

The minute the droog...shit, I mean, ward walked in (my first roomate, not the one who ate my glasses, but an older one, used that term to refer to the wards. He talked in nadsat, and ran is outstretched fingers into the wall for attention. He got lots of attention.) and told us the news, my head filled with all sorts of paranoia. What if they had sprayed poison on our clothes? It took a lot of tax dollars to keep us here, or at least, to keep us alive in here.

"Ummm..." I started, "I'm fine in this, thank you." The ward looked at me strangely. He said, "I personally don't have a problem with that, but it's regulation. The difference in clothing is how we tell high security solitudes from you in multiple lodgings."
"Would it be possible to make an exception?"
"Sir, you're going to get thrown in solitude again if you're seen walking around in those clothes."
"Er..." I started thinking about everything I'd need to test my clothes. "Alright. The clothes I arrived in are still here?"
"Yes, they're all here."
"Can, can I borrow a magnifying glass, a blacklight, and a pair of tweezers? I just want to..."
"Sorry, no go on the tweezers. I have a report on you that says no breakable hazardous items should be in your proximity. Hey, are those glasses-"
Quickly I spun on my heel to hide my face. "Just the clothes then, please." I said, feeling my abdomanen. If he confiscated my glasses, I'd actually have to take that girl's advice about the lubricant and an extra-baggie... He didn't, though, instead took the following order for clothes from the other boy in the room and left.

My clothes came in my black backpack, but much to my dismay, my paint supplies had been removed. I'll have to thank my former roomate for that, I thought. My eyes glanced up to my roomates. The girl's bra dissapeared under the fresh shirt she wriggled on, and the boy had busied himself with his own. It hadn't occured to me until then that I had completely ignored them. I was brought up aristocratically, ignoring the servants as they went about their daily tasks. I guess my upbringing was showing. My bag was filled with blue jeans and an artistic white shirt ridden with skulls and roses. Shit, I thought, my painting clothes, what I wore when my sanity wasn't debatable. Didn't I have anything more respectable? I had just taken out my blue jeans when something happened that I had thought 90 mgs of Prozac and shit had taken care of. Nothing terrible, just clack clack clack, across the room an invisible demon ran, through one wall and out the other. I couldn't see him, per se, but I felt him. God, I want to be cured so badly.
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[B][COLOR=Purple]I thought that I was nuts to begin with but when I saw that...THING crawl out and run from that kids back pack I knew it. I didn't realize I had screamed till I looked up at Brad handing Demonica her clothes and the strange look everyone else was giving me.
"Heh...s-stupid tags..."
I could have slapped myself at that moment...some excuse but they seemed to buy but the kid whoes pack it came from was looking at me frowning. I could see the worry demons whispering in his ears. I took in his paranoid stance and the paint splattered shirt, well not that bad but there were drops that were barely visible. I thought for a moment and I figured that ifI was gonna e rooming with these people might as well make them like me, at least a little. I caught Brad before he left and went into the hall with him, I knew that the others probably thought something bad but Brad was cool so no.
"Look, what problem is there giving the kid-"
"He's your age, and your no kid"
"Yeah yeah, so whats the big deal about ginving him some paint and shit?"
"Look I would but its not my call."
"Yeah they all think since we're nutzo that we're gonna drink the paint..."
"you as sane as me and the other wards here. Same with those others with you."
"Then whats the big deal?!"
"Alright! But if I get caught Yara...I'll make sure you have Electro Shock therapy for the rest of the days your here."
"Your the best Brad!"
He waved from down the hall, I walked back in to see the rest of them in their clotes and nodded climbing up onto my bunk, I pulled out a razor from my little hideing place and began to carve into the wall, what? You thought I cut my self? I'm nuts, not phsyco sheesh. I carved the design of the demon I saw come from his pack and looked at it...wasn't like anythink I had ever seen in all my life, it was...human looking only...grey. Creeped me out. A light knock made me jump off the bed and answer the door before the others could get there, it was Brad. He smiled and exposed the painting supplies that he had hidden in his shirt. I looked at the boy with glasses and thought of something that would get his attention.
"Hey you."
Oh yeah. I'm clever. They all looked up and I pointed to him and then to the door.
"For you."
I leaned out and looked at Brad frowning slightly.
"Let him keep his glasses or issue him some cantacts or something like you did me...if he's like any other person with glasses here he cant see worth shit with out them."
"I didn't plan on takeing the Yara. Chill."
I shrugged and moved out of the way as he walked up to the door. A few minutes alter he stood there blinking down at the paint and canvas in his arms. I looked down and smiled.
"Cool break ne?"
I winked and put my hands behind my head counting the tiles on the ceiling thinking of the little demon that had run from the room when I looked down and saw the damn thing crawling back into his back pack.
"What the fuck!? Does that thing have like a nest in there or something?"
I blinked as I realized I had said that aloud...shit. Now they would know I really was nuts.
"Uh..never mind."
I watched as the thing stuck its head out and then blew a raspberry at me, out of reflex I returned it in full and looked aroung, my tounge hanging out of my mouth looking at the others. I regained myself and was looking at the ceiling again chanceing glances at the damn thing that was taunting me from this guys bag. I was pissed and there was nothing I could do but watch. Damnit.[/COLOR][/B]
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*Thanks Akrasha for helping me find the roomIi was supposed to be in... although, the girl thats here... Yara? i think I like her. but, more than a good friend for once, ya know?*
*Yes, Marcus. You can trust her. Although, she-*
*Has one Helluva nice body.*
*You said that Marcus, not me.*
*I know Akrasha, although for a female fallen angel, you have good tastes in women.*
*Well, she was the one that walked out of the bathroom in her undergarments.*
*Oh, wah. I'm getting me my clothes*
"Brad? Right? Well, i'de like the clothes i checked myself in that night. Is that allright?"
"Hmm. yeah."
*Allright. I get my good Lee's!*
*And you dont have to worry about the chains in your get-up anymore either.*
*What? Oh, right... I've gotten used to-*
Well, at that time, I watched a small demon from one of the boys' backpack stick its tongue out at Yara, and she did the exact same right back. So, i'm not the only one with sight. This might be tolerable. So, when i get my clothes, i walk over to the boy that got his paints.. i look forward to a peice.
"Excuse me, may i look in your bag?"
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[COLOR=Purple][B]I watched out of the corner of my eye as he inspected the bag, I didn't think anything of it till he looked at me staright on makeing me feel very small all of a sudden. I sank back into my own world, my own little mind. I was glad to be back into my normal clothes again...they were dark and kinda morbrid but complimented me well. Black, all of it black. the baggy, boys cargo shorts, the thick black ankle boots, the tight black tanktop, the blakc open fingered gloves, and my necklace that they had taken...it was my prized possession. It had been my brother's before he...I trailed away from that thought as I looked up at the ceiling. the mirror on the wall near the door was uncovered as it began to turn dark outside, I took it upon my self to cover it again, like I said nothing worse then a dream demon peering in on you at 3 o'clock in the morning. I climbed back into the bed and realized that they hadn't given us any sleepware.
"Yo! Brad! We get pajamas or what?"
"Not that I know of Yara."
I rolled my eyes as he left and took a ddep breath letting it out. I was bored adn I tend to do stupid things when I'm bored. I did the only thing I could think of. I released my dampeners completely and held my breath, it suddenly felt as if all the room there was gone. I didn't want to open my eyes but i did. I regret it now. The room was so full of demons and spirits that I wasnt even gonna try to count em' all. I looked at the guy that I thought had nothing on him and blinked as I saw a bright form follwoing behind him, like it was connected to him or something. And I swear it waved to me. I shook my head and opened my eyes again only to yelp as the freaky Demon form the paint guys bag sat on my chest pulling it unnormal long ears and making faces at me. I swiped at it knowing I couldnt hurt it and knowing in the back of my mind that they were thinking I really was nuts now. I began to growl and suddenly rolled to the side, every intention of just getting the damned thing off of me and ended up back on the floor. I looked up at the others as they looked down at me confued, but that guy...the weird bright thingie one...he simply smiled and shook his head. What was he smileing at? Made me so mad. I shook it off and regained what little composure I could muster and climbed back into my bed, pulling my covers over my self, boots, clothes, and all, even up over my head. It was then that the 'bright thingie guy' decided to open his big mouth.
"There aren'y enough beds in the room."
I heard Brad answer with an Oh so smart answer.
"Yes thats right. we have to move on in here tomarrow while you all are at breakfast."
I groaned as I knew what was next and what would happen. Don't know how. But I did.
"Two of you will have to share a bed till the other can be brought in."
Yup. Knew it! I looked at the others from my small cover cave, all the others had gotten there before this guy and claimed a bed,and by the looks none seemed to keen on shareing. I huffed a heavy sigh and sat up, the sheets falling into my lap.
"I will. Just don't get no funny ideas got it?"
He nodded and so did I as I got ready for bed, since they hadn't issued us and PJ's I just decided to sleep in my understuff. Like I said I'm not shy and I had my blade in the wall next to me. He tried something, he'd be a unich in seconds flat. So I wasn't worried. He looked like he was out of it for a second, just stareing straight ahead not really looking at anything and I saw a flash of bright light behind him and he seemed to come to. Shakeing his head he looked up at me as I folded my clothes sheding the gloves but leaving the necklace. The undergarments I had chose( have you ever worn ward underclothes? Yuck!) didn't leave much to imagine. Bikini cut underware, black of corse, and a black bra. Not really to fancy but comfortable...much more then the orderly unshit that these people gave you when you came here. Man those things are torture...but back to the subject. So it was time for lights out. I was just getting to sleep when I felt this guy climb in with me and put his back to mine then roll over and lean in. I was about to knock him off when he spoke a few words that made me freeze.
"You see them don't you?"
I couldn't breath...I was dareing to hope that he knew what I was seeing and that I wasn't just crazy...was there hope?[/B][/COLOR]
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It was perhaps the strangest thing I had yet encountered in that asylum, when my painting supplies suddenly found themselves in my lap. When I was a...privilaged child in my fathers mansion, servants would do things for us constantly, and we repaid them all with a nod, and told them what their next task was. It was rare that somebody did something nice for me that they weren't paid to do, and I'll admit, I didn't really know how to respond. "Thank you...very much." I said to the girl whose name I later found to be Lady Kurushi (that being how my father had taught me to refer to people). She seemed satisfied with that, smiled and turned away, but I still felt I had been a little ingrateful. That's the problem with obsessive paranoia, you never know if you did anything right, and if you just so happen to have proof that you didn't screw up, you don't believe it. Paranoia feeds on itself, I guess.

The paint supplies seemed almost holy in my hands. I hadn't seen them since I went to the asylum, and the thought of painting again sent my heart into my throat. But if a ward, a meaner ward than the one Lady Kurushi knew saw me painting again, well, I wouldn't chance having them confiscated again. I set them in my bag, feeling something like hot breath on my face and the feel of a demon nearby. "Excuse me, may I look in your bag?" Said the man whose name I later knew to be Sir Alnoto. Shit, I thought, did he want my paints? Nevertheless, I aquiesced, and after examining it, he handed it back to me without touching my paint. Thank God.

Night came, not without a bizzare show of Lady Kurushi's apparent madness (which reminded me that, even though these people may be nice, they're insane, and should not be taken as friends, or let anywhere near my glasses) and as soon as the lights went off I took my paint supplies and hid in the bathroom, where I could paint with the light on without disturbing anyone. It had been so long...the art criticts had at one time known me as Mr. Blue Sky, for the optimism shown in my work. I decided almost immediately that I would try to live up to that name, and not portray any sign of demo- I mean, my dillusions, in my work. I started easy, just the black outline of a cloud, my fingers resting in their familiar places on my brush, feeling old talents revive in my stroke. The "demons" seemed to crowd around me when I painted, as if feuding with eachother over which would be portrayed in my work. None, I thought, just a cloud.

I finished the outline of the cloud, and smiled at its simplicity. A yellow-pink tinge would give it the appearance of sunset. I turned to dab my brush in the yellow, and when I turned back, my cloud had dissapeared, and in its place sat the outline of a haunted humanoid face with bug eyes and its lips sewn shut with metallic wiring. I almost cried. I didn't want to continue with the monster slowly emerging from my mind, but I felt almost controlled, forced to continue. Soon the demon that had ran across the floor stood before me in all its glory, struggling to push itself out of the painted bloody mouth of another demon, a purple one, with fingers portruding from where its eyes should have been. Immediately I ripped the painting from its canvas, tore it to pieces, and flushed it down the toilet, streaks of paint trailing into the water. Try again, I thought, though I'm not really sure whether that notion was my own, or just a demon's desires melding with mine.

I really should tell you something, having all the knowledge I do now, as I write this. I wanted to be "cured" so badly of these demons...I still do, even knowing everything I do, and had I known that that canvas, over which I had spent the better part of the night painting and destroying and painting again, right until the moon gleamed directly above, had I known that the painting I had completed at the zenith of that night would seperate me from the perfect life of sanity and...this, I would have destroyed that canvas the second it fell in my lap, and slapped Lady Kurushi for giving it to me. But what happened cannot be reversed, and so I shall tell you about the painting I had completed that midnight.

It was beautiful. It was a demon, of course, as I was physically incapable of painting anything else. It was bright red, and held itself in a fetal position, almost like a heart. It was the most melancholy thing I had ever seen, hands from hell tearing below it, and tears of blood falling from the demons cringing face. It was so tragic, I wept, I wept at my work and swore never to destroy it, despite it being a demon. I hid it inside my bag, and crept into bed, trying not to disturb anybody. A melancholy demon that didn't belong in hell. In a sense, it reminded me of myself, and of everyone in that asylum. God, I want to be cured.
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[COLOR=Purple][B]The guy that I was shareing a bed with seemed to leave it at that and went to sleep almost instantly...kinda creepy. I lay there awake for what seemed like hours. I heart the guy witht eh paints int he bathroom. THought I heard him cryign but it was none of my bussiness right? Right. I heaved a sigh when he emerged from the bathroom and hopped down alomost as soon as he was in bed and went to bathroom. I flipped off the light as I came out. Everyone was asleep now and I looked at the guys bag again to see more the 10 demons looking at a piece of canvas that the guy had obviously hid there and frowned. Sheesh it was bad enough that they made me look bad but now they were going through my roommates stuff. That really burned my biscuts. I walked up to the bag and swiped at the demons, though I couldn't touch them they felt my intentions and rushed away and out through the wall onthe far side for the rest of the night, I know, I couldn't get to sleep after what I saw on the canvas in my hands. I was a beautiful painting, full of emotion and talent. What got me was I thought this guy to be one of those pampered kids who paint like fields and expensive mansions. Only here was a demon...an actual demon holding itself and crying like a lost child. I examined it and then looked at the sleeping boy who shifted restlessly in his sleep. I shook my head and put the painting back, only I put it in a large folder that was in there, that way it wouldn't get hurt. I had always had a soft spot for painting. I didn't paint, I sucked at that, but I sketched. I used t have charcol pencils and pens but they got taken away and I was never able to get them back. I blinked as there was a knock at the door. I looked at the little clock they gave us and growled as the others looked up, some rubbing the sleep out of their eyes, others looking at the offending door like i was, with intent to kill who ever was on the other side. I may not have been asleep but the others were. I flug opne the door only to be gretted by a handsome looking young man withpierceing blue eyes. He just looked around the room nodding to the covered mirror and then looking me up and down taking in my state of dress. He was dressed in jueans and rather loose fitting t-shirt with a dark green zip up hoodie on over it. I looked up at the orderly who had brought him, it wasn't brad and I felt my self get very consious I was still in my underclothes and frowned. I closed the door covering my body from veiw and looked up at the rough looking man and asked a simple question.
"What's the deal?"
"New roommate. He's a paranoia. He hates mirrors and light."
I looked around and he crawled under one of the bottom beds and seemed very comfortable there. Well finally a real nut to make me look almost sane. Hm, cool.
"Okay. YOu can leave now.
"One more thing, you all have sessions and classes starting tomarrow."
I almost slapped myself again. Thats right if your not graduateing age in this place they evaluate you and then send you to classed taught by the orderlys. Goody.
"Fine what time?"
"Be up at 7 and be ready by 9."
"Got it big tall and ugly. Go away."
I knew that if he wanted to he could force his way in and beat the hell outta me but he learned quickly the first time he tried to rape little ol' me that I wasn't one to take it. I broke his nose and arm in one move. I smiled at the remeberance of that day. One of the few that I was actually happy here. I didn't sleep at all for the rest of the night...not surpriseing. Demons, roommates, weird guys saying weird things...and the hope that I wasn't crazy still lingered there in the back of my mind...I wasn't going to wish it yet. I was goign to bring something up in the morning about all of this over breakfast. I had a good feeling if I did I would get some answers and O boy is that what I wanted the most. I sighed and climbed back into my crowded bed and looked back at the ceiling. This had been an eventful day...wonder what tomarrow brings...Here's hopeing that I'm not mad...[/B][/COLOR]
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Ah... to be in an actual bed, be it stiff, its still better than a hard padded room floor. And to be sharing it with another that can see them? Almost too good to be true. Then i hear the artist in the bathroom, crying, and the toilet flushing. i looked forward to a piece, but not at the price he paid. geez. and we have a new roomy... bad paranoia. light and mirrors... no demons haunt him, nothing wants to be near him. great. now we have to have classes? just because of my age and the time i spent in solitary, it means i STILL have to take classes? beautiful. and i love my sleeping schedule. i dont sleep. i meditate in a state of half conciousness. makes me alert to the outside, and also lets me rest... i need it. Yara got to see a bit of Akrasha tonight. too bad she couldnt see the true brilliance of her power and skill. not to mention her love. love that makes me want to love her and others in return. But poor Yara...she has the sight, but not the touch. poor Yara... and the painter. Kevin. Poor guy... haunted inside and out by the demons that he paints. But, I have to go to class with these people tomorrow, so i might as well be comfortable with my surroundings. considering the only surroundings that i used to have were uniformly painted. Oh well. I have my black jeans, i have my white muscle shirt, and i have my bandanna. i'll be allright for a little while. well, better than the true insane people that went insane because of this place. the demons that surround it, permeate its walls, forcing their ways into everything. Well, class is in the morning. i cant wait for breakfast.
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[B][COLOR=Purple]I woke up feeling warm and comfortable, opening my eyes I saw why. I was cuddled to the guys side. I blinked and tried to roll over and away from him when I remebered that these beds really weren't all that big. I think the only words that I managed to get out before I fell were.
"Oh this is-"
What I was gonna say was...'Oh this is gonna hurt like fuck' and it did. I found my self on the floor again and sighed. It wasn't gonna be my day. I looked around at everyone, they were all still dozeing. I took the chance to get another shower and freshen up some. I came back out to see them all moving around and got dressed pretty fast. I soon looked at all my roomies, includeing the paranoid guy that arrived at 3 that morning. I sighed and looked around.
"Before we go I have a confession and a question for all of you. The confession is my own, I figure if we're here together that I should be honest. I do not think that I'm crazy...I see things...I see d-demons. The question is...is anyone bothered by that cause if you are, I'll ask to be moved."
Everyone was quiet like I had set off a bomb or something.[/COLOR][/B]
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A little bit of my world cracked as Lady Kurushi let the final words drop from her mouth, [I]I see demons.[/I] It was perfectly clear, and for a second my mind rushed with frenzy, seeing the obvious connection and the faint hope that I didn't let my parents down by going nutzoid. But it stopped as soon as it started. I thought to myself, [I]don't get caught up in this crap, Kevin. Demons are a long renown catholic symbol, I'm sure more than one person has professed to seeing them. Hell, you've seen a dozen people who went insane from loneliness profess to seeing ants, and they're completely goofy! Stay seated, don't make a move, and whatever you do, just shut up, shut up, SHUT THE HELL UP!![/i]

It wasn't until I saw Lady Kurushi's querying eyes staring into my own that I realized I had spoken the last words aloud. Shit. "I mean," I tried to save myself, "we all know your insane, there's no reason to point it out. I mean, ha, uh, I mean none of us would even be here if we all weren't insane, so uh...don't trouble yourself about it. The wards wouldn't have put you in multiple housing if they didn't think it would be safe." A dead lie, my last roomate was testament to the ward's apathy towards who was in solitary and who was in multiple lodging. There was nothing more I could say, anyway. There was another silence, until one of the others, I can't remember his name, turned back to Lady Kurushi and asked, "Wh-what 'demons' per say? Are they like... um..." And suddenly I was ignored, everyone turned back to Lady Kurushi and the sudden turn of events. I couldn't stand watching them all play part in the end of my chance to be sane again, so I got the hell out of that room. They could go ahead and set themselves back days, ah, years, thinking that those demons were real. They could all live in the God damn asylum for all I care. But I knew my demons were just insanity, so I distanced myself from their dillusions as much as possible.

I took my bag, thinking how that painting would be dead testament to my own line of bullshit I just spewed, and walked out of the room. It wasn't until our room was just a small hallway behind me that I stopped, and delved into my bag to see my painting again. I hadn't put it inside a folder, I had deliberately kept it out of a folder, yet there it was inside a folder, neatly handled with a lady's touch. I could have screamed.
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[COLOR=Purple][B]I blinked rapidly as the guy stormed out and down the hall.
"Uh, I'm not gonna ask you guys cause I don't want that to happne again."
I hada feeling that he was just trying to make an excuse for not hopeing like I was, but after that little diplay, I knew I was hopeing for a goo reason. I wasn't crazy, and neither were any one of the others. All though the new guy that had hid under the bed I wasn't sure about. He hadn't spoken a word but the orderly had told me his name was Tobais Stone. Stone was right. He was about that expressive. He walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder and nodded. I got the feeling he was telling me to be patient. I could do that. I think. I led the way down the hall to breakfast and waited for the announcement that we were headed for our fisrt seesion together. Shrinks. I hated them.[/B][/COLOR]


[B[I]]"Are they bonding?"
"Somewhat...some think that they are still insane."
"Well, make sure that when they go to that session they all tell what their little problems are."
"And Stone?"
"He has a private session at that time."
THe orderly nodded to the shadow and walked out. Laughter, cool, calm and chilling came from the room.
"I will have them working for me. And I will rule the demon world if I have to kill to get it."[/I][/B]
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I took a chance during breakfast. He told me to, but he is usually right. I mean he has helped me so many times since I met him how could I not trust him? After recieveing the crappy food that they handed out, it was always crappy, I took a seat right next to Yara. I need to be able to talk to her directly, but after the reaction of that one kid I wanted to be sure that he didn't hear me. He agreed.

So I took my seat and ate a little, mostly just glad to have my normal clothing and better face paint back. Wow, now I looked cool. Anyways I was only halfway through my meal and Yara wasn't saying anything or listening to anyone else so right now seemed like as good of time as any, since anytime was good enough. I leaned in to get my mouth next to her ear and I began to whisper. "So, demons." I could tell it startled her a little. "I'm sorry I can't say that I see them, I'm sure it's horrifying, but I share a body with a demon of revenge. Don't say anything now, but if you could stay up until the others are sleeping tonight I really would like to talk to you. And if you like I'll let you have my bed tonight so you don't have to share again. I'll sleep on the floor no problem. Just nod if you agree."
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[B][COLOR=Purple]It startled me and, okay I jumped almost out of my skin, I couldn't help it. I was just sitting there thinking that maybe I was so insane I thought I wasnt insane when he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he wanted to talk to me, that he shared his body with a demon. I nodded. I knew for a fact that if I could get confermation that I wasn't insae I'd take it. Besides if Kevin, as I found out was his name, needed time to see that I meant well then so be it. I heard our names spoken over the speaker and heaved a sigh.
"Goody, we get to go for reevaluation."
I rolled my eyes and stood leading the way to the coucil room for our little session where we share our mental illness with everyone and then tell how its effected or lives thus far...um, Hello! We're in a mental hospital! Thats what I always want to yell at these stupid shrink people that look at you like your about to internally combust. I recalled one time that I acted like I was really actually crazy and startedt o chew on this guys pencil and singing a really creepy old witch craft song that I heard another patient singing in her sleep. The shrink was new and had never been to one of these places before and I know I know what I did wwas horrible and got me in a padded room with a stairt jacket (which by the way is fun as hell if you know what to do and when to do it) but it sure was fun to see that guy pee his pants and try to climb the wall. I still smile almost laughing when I think about it. I give the orderly a giant smile as I walk in receiveing a frown and a curt 'sit down' in return. I only smiled bigger and nodded as I waved the others in and then took my seat between Ronin and Marcus. I could tell this guy was gonna be fun.
"We will be talking about your illness today. You'll all share what it is and how its effected your lives."
Yep, right on the money. I smiled in spite of myslef.[/COLOR][/B]
"
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At one time, who spoke in group therapy was dictated by the passing of a small, plush ball. The wards figured nobody could actually kill themselves with a small plush ball. Then somebody did. Now, people were directed to speak when the therapist turned to them and said, "How are we doing today?" The "we" thing had creeped me out for a long time, since a patient had asked that, "How are we doing" and as I said fine she turned to me and screamed, "SHUT THE !@#$% UP!" and then continued to calmly talk to herself. The therapist turned to me and asked, "how are we doing today" and I pointed to myself and made sure I was apart of this, "we". She nodded, and I began.

"I'm fine today, thank you." I said in my most pleasant, fake tone. "And on the subject I'd like to say that my particular...illness has caused some, ah, minor setbacks in my art career." Minor setbacks. I was spewing bullshit like a septic tank, and the therapist accepted every word, probably more focused on what she would do after work, or how she would escape if one of us started going nuts. To tell the truth, I wanted to tell the therapist everything my insanity had caused, about the partial disownment of my family, about the end of my proper life, about the would-be suicide attempt (had I been able to find a bottle of Tylenol in my apartment), about how I would happily live the rest of my life blind, if it meant never seeing those demons again. But instead I made my entire life story out to be a few "minor setbacks" and grinned as she grinned and in that moment, lying to the therapist in a mental facility, I got the strange feeling that I would be the perfect symbol for modern society.

"Very good, Kevin. Thank you for sharing." I didn't know whether or not she had even heard what I had said, or had just pretended to. Maybe she just didn't care. "And, can I ask you just what your condition is?" She continued. I swallowed a lump, and made up my mind not to mention demons. "I, ah, have occasional dillusions." I said at last. I thought maybe the therapist would ask me to expand on that, but she accepted it and turned to the next person, my gut tightening at the "how are we doing today?"
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  • 3 weeks later...
Hmm...a new therapist... first one i've seen in months... and Yara is here with me? Hmm... i'm just going to be quiet and smile. and meow when she says something to me... yeah...I wont be as crazy... this time. Poor Kevin and Yara... when you spend a year between solitary and...less savory places... you tend to work on your hearing. You tend to thrive on every noise made, by you or others... the screams of others kept me sane... well, what I call sane. These therapists are paid to deal with us "loonies" and get paid well. But, in turn, they call us insane. Define "sane" before you decide to stick someone into a place where they dont belong at all... especially one that has more demons than I can count, more than what I would call...manageable.
"We will be talking about your illness today. You'll all share what it is and how it's affected your lives."
OOoo...goody. I'm going to this this newbie the truth. The WHOLE truth, so Yara and Kevin won't be the only ones knowing of this. (shiver) This is going to be good...
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