13 Things I Have Learned.

[pooperson]

[Lack of] Kindergarten - Not going to KDG results in everyone you tell saying, "You didn't go??? YOU MISSED PAJAMA DAY!!!!!!"

1st Grade - If you like a guy, don't do what Helga did in Hey, Arnold!

2nd Grade - No, your teacher does not hang students on the wall with her ring. AKA -- Rumors are stupid.

3rd Grade - If you make brownies on the first day, it's probably going to be a good year.

4th Grade - All Catholics + 1 Lutheran = An interesting Religion Class

5th Grade - If you don't like a school, drop out and homeschool!

6th Grade - Taking walks down the street is an appropriate gym class if you're homeschooled.

7th Grade - Obsessing over whether a guy likes you or not is like obsessing over how high a blade of grass has grown within the past HOUR.

8th Grade - Backstabbers don't make good friends.

9th Grade - You won't be sheltered your whole life.

10th Grade - It's OK to be human. Everyone makes mistakes.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy][center][b]Thirteen things I have learned in my 13 years of school ![/center]

Pre-school-[/b] Anything painted is a portrait. Even if it is only a circle with lines that is supposed to be a porcupine.

[b]Kindergarten[/b] (Neil Armstrong)- Your newly adopted brother is a perfectly exceptable show and tell subject and if the teacher or classmates dissagree too bad

[b]first grade[/b] (neil armstrong]- Your classmates aren't the only ones in class who will pick on you, but don't worry your parents will send you to a new school

[b]second grade[/b] (Nazreth Hall)- Uniforms of both gym and school time are evil and icky colors. It is entirely possible to get spegghetti into your blouse pocket and not know about it. No matter where you are- cafeteria food is icky.

[b]third grade[/b]- (nazareth Hall) Some teachers do talk about the times they beat up the bully. The best way to clean your eraser is to rub it on the carpet.

[b]fourth grade[/b] (N H) It doesn't matter what type of school you go to the boys will always try to look up your skirt during recess. Uniforms are still icky and girls are meaner than boys any day.

[b]fifth grade[/b] (N H) If you're really careful you can avoid getting caught cheating on your test on the Canadian provinces. Girls are still meaner than boys, but they cry harder when you punch them.

[b]sixth grade[/b] (Hillside)Time outs- they're not just for toddlers anymore.

[b]seventh grade[/b] (hillside) Boys are dumb, girls are weird... wait, you're a girl. But boys are still dumb.

[b]eighth grade[/b] (hillside) If you want a guy to help you out with your computer class just kiss him.

[b]Ninth Grade[/b] (Gates Chili) Being a smart kid in epecial ed is really confusing because for some reason you're getting 90's and both your classmates and the kids in home room hate you for odd reasons. Also no matter how many times you explain to the idiot on the bus that special ed kids aren't in the non existant basement he'll continue to believe that they are in the basement.

[b]tenth grade[/b] (G C) You're not immagining things- your math teacher is a nut case. despite popular belief the school concellors think that having your math class mates go around and say why they hate you is a good way to communicate and you shouldn't get mad. BS. And it is entirely possible to be a lesbian who wants to take someone's boyfriend... wow!

[b]eleventh grade[/b] ( G C) Even if you're not the most popular person in school the popular people will talk to you if they think you'll go off on them... or your bff knows some dirt on them. Oh, and school hierchy extends to your after school job. And your shoes will usually fly off when you;re late to US History

[b] Twelfth grade[/b] (G C) School hierchy will continue to extend to your after school job so don't try to fight it becuase your supervisor will just blame you. Trying to get your left handed friend to switch lab seats with you just won't happen. And it is entirely possible to pass phase three bio while writing fan fics[/color][/font]

[Desbreko]

[color=#4B0082]This should be fun. . . .

[b]Kindergarten:[/b] This "school" thing was kind of fun at first, but it gets old fast. Why didn't I appreciate my previous freedom more?

[b]1st Grade:[/b] I skipped 1st grade arithmetic and went straight into 2nd. Huh, I must be good at it or something.

[b]2nd Grade:[/b] Hey, reading is pretty cool. More books plz.

[b]3rd Grade:[/b] Cursive handwriting is the devil. You may be able to force the knowledge of how to write it into my sponge-like little brain, but I am never going to use it outside of this penmanship course. And no, you [i]can't[/i] make me.

[b]4th Grade:[/b] Fractions in equations suck. Hard. So very hard.

[b]5th Grade:[/b] Poetry is not my thing, will never be my thing, and no matter how much you try, I am never going to like it. The sooner you realize this, the sooner both of us will be happy.

[b]6th Grade:[/b] Wow, a history course that isn't all about memorizing fifty-million names and dates? I didn't think it was possible, but I actually enjoy the subject.

[b]7th Grade:[/b] Whee, algebra is fun! Well, except for those [i]bastard[/i] square roots.

[b]8th Grade:[/b] Junior high sucks. Why didn't I appreciate my time in elementary school more?

[b]9th Grade:[/b] Argh, school is actually getting hard. This sucks even more. For the love of God, [i]why didn't I appreciate junior high more?[/i]

[b]10th Grade:[/b] Real teachers ftw. Learning math at a community college is so much easier than trying to teach myself out of a homeschool book.

[b]11th Grade:[/b] Writing papers is the bane of my school life. The only thing they seem to be good for is showing me how [i]not[/i] to write real articles. Nothing I've learned about how to write papers, other than using basic grammar, has helped me with any other writing.

[b]12th Grade:[/b] Only one more year! I can do this. One more year and then I'm fr--oh, ****! I have four years of college after this.

. . . Or not. Sigh. And tomorrow I get to spend five hours doing orientation out at that same community college I've already been taking math classes at for three years. [i]Fun.[/i][/color]

[Momiji Love]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana]This is cute.

[B]Preschool (Year One)[/B] : Never trust mom to get you the proper toy for show and tell.

[B]Preschool (Year Two)[/B]: Its okay to throw the ugly Barbie at the 5 year old who calls you "Missy", as long as the teacher doesn't see.

[B]Kindergarten[/B] : Hannah Bennet can call you an old lady because of your white blonde hair, but she will always be fat.

[B]First Grade[/B] : You will get a few laughs wearing a sandal and a sneaker in the school musical.

[B]Second Grade[/B] : Its pretty bitchy to make fun of the new girl's last name.

[B]Third Grade[/B] : Its pretty bitchy to make fun of the new girl. Especially if she is the pastor's daughter.

[B]Fourth Grade[/B] : Your teacher cries easily. But that doesn't mean you should write a note saying you hate her. Because that causes a different sort of emotion. (That wasn't me...it was two other girls in my class.)

[B]Fifth Grade[/B] : Wear pants that fit. Because your teacher will call you a plumber if your butt-crack hangs out.
You can act stupid and not understand chess,and the boys will pay attention to you.

[B]Sixth Grade[/B] : Do not tell the guy you like that you do. Because when you get over it, he won't.
Fighting over a computer to play Oregon Trail is really lame,just so you know.

[B]Seventh Grade[/B] : No one cares if you look stupid during Cellville. Be thankful you don't have to wear the "gangsta bibs".
"Have a day" is a saying with no meaning. You can try as hard as you want to figure it out, but Mr.Hutchinson has it there to trick you.

[B]Eighth Grade[/B] : It [I]is[/I] funny to trick your senile Social Studies teacher into thinking you turned in your homework when you never did it. More than once.
It is nasty when your science teacher is a child molester who swears at you.
People will think you are wierd if you are friends with 7th graders. But ignore them, because they are the best friends you could wish for.

[B]Ninth Grade[/B] : Drama is dumb.
Wear clothes, or people will think you are a slut.
Lunch is not as confusing as you may think it is.
It is cute when a classmate proposes to your English teacher.

And the rest is yet to come.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Ikillion]

[COLOR=#99121c][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Roflcopter.

[INDENT]Pre-K - Stabbing someone just because they stole your book is wrong, yet at the same time is an easy source to relieve much anger.

Kindergarden - Painting and nap time is actually rather fun and easy. Dealing with divorced parents who agnst more than a teenager is not.

1st grade - Just because you see some kinds picking on a smaller kid for no reason, doesn't mean you have to beat the bad kids up. Yet it is an easy way to make a life long friend.

2nd grade. -Its fun to learn Cursive, its not so much fun to watch people write it all over the walls and get blamed for it though. Yet snack time is always fun!

3rd Grade. Having 3rd/4th grade cluster classes are rather annoying. Espically when those older than you seem to be dumber than you. Don't let your poke'mon watch go off durring a test either.

4th Grade - For just about every good thing that you do. You always get rewarded with a soda, if you do more you get to go eat fast food!

5th grade- Its easy to cheat on spelling tests, espically when the teacher is asleep while you take them. Yet when a teacher is overweight they shouldn't smoke to much or else they will get a stroke and die.

6th grade -Math is easy, no matter what they say there is always more than one way to come up with something. Also, homerooms suck

7th Grade - Class rotation is rather fun, yet next time you are disection an Eyeball, make sure you don't accidently cut it so that the eye juice squirts on your lab partner.

8th grade, say goodbye to your innocent demeanor. Also try not to light your partner's hair on fire, even if it was long enough to fit two other people.

9th grade - oh ****, maybe I need to actually start to study for tests. That "F" Really doesn't look to stylish on there. Also lets say hello to the slowly eroding process that is known as love.[/INDENT]

And that is all she wrote.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Raiyuu]

[FONT=Trebuchet MS]In [b]Playschool,[/b] I learned to make a little boat attached to a folded paper plate, which rocked when you prodded it. And that's all I remember. So the real lesson to be learned from that is, it doesn't matter what you do in Playschool, because when you're older all you'll remember of it is the wobbling paper plate boat.

[i]Southsea First School[/i]
In [b]Reception[/b] I discovered that no one else could just switch hands when they got tired of writing, and that it actually annoyed some of the teachers because they couldn't do it either.

[b]Year One:[/b] you can actually find common ground with the older children when you discover you're as bored by reading books about the Street with Three Corners as they are by listening to them.

[b]Year Two[/b] taught me that sums are the hardest bit of school, especially when you can't even draw a number five.

[i]Emmer Green Primary School[/i]
[b]Year Three:[/b] keep [i]all[/i] thoughts of home out of your mind and you might just avoid calling the teacher 'mum' again. Given the reaction to the first time, a repeat performance is certainly to be avoided at all costs.

[b]Year Four:[/b] the boys whose mums are friends with your mum are a good place to start when it comes to friends of your own. Even if you don't like them especially (and I now know I was impressively foresighted when I decided I didn't like these two) it's easier to make more friends once the first step is made.

[b]Year Five:[/b] British Bulldog is a more fun way to spend playtime than learning the Periodic Table "in preparation for Big School," but apparently some people feel strongly enough about the Periodic Table to pour juice all over your sandwiches when you announce that decision.

[b]Year Six:[/b] Roald Dahl is actually from Norway, not England, which means I actually lost that argument I had in year five with the American transfer student over whether England or America is better. American transfer students have long memories when it comes to losing arguments.

[i]Reading Grammar School for boys[/i]
[b]Year Seven:[/b] secondary school has politics, which sounds boring but actually involves storming the other class's form room and throwing plastic bottles at them.

[b]Year Eight:[/b] writing stories off the top of your head gets you great marks in [i]internal[/i] school exams, but they're basically based on how much the teacher likes you. The bushier and whiter the beard, the more boring the teacher; even the smart kids fall asleep in Religious Studies.

[b]Year Nine:[/b] apparently you can miss out on the top grade in English SATs by getting "too caught up in writing a story". This comment from my teacher, combined with the fact that the question on the paper was "write a story about so-and-so" sparked off a realisation that was confirmed in...

[b]Year Ten,[/b] when it became clear that school doesn't teach you stuff about things, it teaches you [i]how to pass exams in those things,[/i] which isn't the same [i]at all.[/i]

[b]Year Eleven:[/b] dumb people don't revise for exams because they're dumb, but they're the ones that need revision to help them pass. Smart people do revise for exams because they feel they should, but they're smart, so they don't actually need to revise in order to pass. This realisation gave me a heck of a lot of free time in the summer of '04...

[b]Lower Sixth Form:[/b] everything they taught me at GCSE level Biology was a lie. Actually, everything they'll teach me this year will be a lie too, and I won't learn the truth unless I take it to degree level, which I have no intention of doing.

[b]Upper Sixth Form:[/b] the friends you made in Primary School are not your friends for life - in fact the two that followed me to Secondary had by this point turned into a thug and a Fascist, although my previous connections did give me some protection against the horrors of Common Room Bareknuckle Boxing.[/font]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][B]Kindergarten[/B] : It doesn?t matter if the other kid started it, if you finish it you get in trouble with the teacher and your parents.
[B]
First Grade[/B] : Not only do they expect you to sit still longer, but you still have the same problem of getting into trouble for beating up the school bully who by the way was trying to beat you up.

[B]Second Grade[/B] : Much better than first grade, but only because the other kids have finally figured out that picking on you results in you clobbering them. Though the teachers think you are a trouble maker at this point.
[B]
Third Grade[/B] : Reading books without any pictures is far more fun than the boring stuff the teacher wants you to learn. Hiding in the library to read is fun!

[B]Fourth Grade[/B] : I don?t need to know how to spell to understand what the word means! Plus the teacher gets really annoyed when you point out math mistakes in the text book.

[B]Fifth Grade[/B] : Reading is still far more interesting than class. Learning penmanship is useless since most people just use a computer instead actually writing things down. That?s what a printer is for!
[B]
Sixth Grade[/B] : So how come we haven?t been taught sex ed yet? Oh yeah, Utah?s to stupid to educate their children on this subject and teachers think you?re a perverted little brat for even asking about it.

[B]Seventh Grade[/B] : History is boring. Why? Because the stupid people who wrote the book like to bore you to death by writing three paragraphs of gibberish just to tell you that so and so is the King of some country. Something they could have easily done with just one sentence!

[B]Eighth Grade [/B]: College classes are a hundred times more fun that regular school classes! The teachers and students are nicer too. So why do I have to keep going to regular school when it sucks?

As for the rest?only time will tell since the education system in Utah is determined to force me to attend High School even though I?ve already proved I can pass college classes. [/COLOR] :animesigh

[mushrumluver]

Preschool :Always stay in your class to avoid getting lost. Appreciate the snack given to you. They are healthy and also to avoid getting hungry.
Kindergarten: Always stay in your class to avoid getting repremanded. The first steps of english, math and science.
1st Grade: The basic fundamentals of math, english, science.
2nd Grade: Stay in the top, they are always rewarding. Never ever charge a bully like crazy. You'll end up in bruises.
3rd Grade: Don't doodle on your textbooks especially if they are not yours. Break the momentum of your classmate who is always at the top.
4th Grade: Never immitate what you see on TV. They might get you in trouble.
5th Grade: Don't provoke a big guy. It only takes one push to fly. Making a traffic along the stairway is one way to quickly get to the disciplinary office.
6th Grade: Never ever bring lots of paper. there are always parasites surrounding you. Prepare for high school life.
1st Year High School: Everything is new and fresh. making new friends is a good way to start and using up all your allowance to have fun is a bad way to end.
2nd Year: I never liked Biology. It just drains my brain. Don't piss a gay teacher, they are frightening. Be quick in keeping your stuff, they are most helpful to avoid confiscation.
3rd Year: Be a parasite. it saves you paper. Don't make a kind teacher get mad at your class. They are most frightening.
4th Year: Evolve your parasitic being. not just paper but pen as well. Enjoy the pleasures of high school life especially the green stuffs around you because college is coming.
Freshmen College: Don't cram your assignments and always follow the format to avoid delay.