Writing Kraken Dutchman [M]

[Boo]

[size=1]The following is a dialogue, written by Retribution and me. It's a bit abstract and written in script style, as it is a dialogue.

[indent][size=4]Kraken Dutchman[/size]

[i]The scene starts before the dawn. Soft blue light comes from the sides and a soft pool of light is in the middle of the stage. There's a peaceful song on as Retribution and Boris get on stage. [/i]

Retribution: Stab your brother in his sleep.

[i]The music stops abruptly.[/i]

Boris: ...
Ah yes.

Retribution: Nothing vital, of course, just a flesh wound.
Enough to show him who's boss.

Boris: Eh... DoubleBDaigo?

Retribution: WRONG!

[i]Sound of thunder rolling.[/i]

Boris: Aw, bugger.

Retribution: It's you, Dutchman!

[i]A spotlight is aimed at Boris as Retribution moves closer to him.[/i]

Boris: It is?
Eh. It is!

Retribution: Yes, of course.
[b]FLYING DUTCMAN POWERS, ACTIVATE!!![/b]

[i]Retribution clears his throat with a lot of noise. [/i]

[i]Boris puts on a Kraken mask and summons his big brother: Kraken. RiflesAtRecess comes on stage. The spotlight disappears and the whole stage is lit up.[/i]

Retribution: Sweet.

Boris: I'm Davy Jones and have nothing to do with the Flying Dutchman, but I'm still captain of it!

Retribution: Can we keep himmmm???
PLEEEEEEASE MOMMY?

Boris: Sure, but make sure to feed him. He's YOUR responsibility!

[i]Retribution pulls a sad face.[/i]

Retribution: Fiiiiiiine.

Boris: Now what do we say, little boy?

Retribution: THANK YOU MOMMY!

[i]Retribution smiles happily and grabs Kraken (RiflesAtRecess) around his neck.[/i]

Boris: That's right, now be a good boy.
And don't tease the Kraken!

[i]Boris gives a bit of an annoyed look off to the left of the stage, knowing that it will be hard for Retribution to not tease the Kraken.[/i]

Retribution: Can I pillage a village tonight, plllllllllllllllllllllllease?
Daddy said I could if I was home by 8!

Boris: Well, if daddy said you could, I think you could.

Dad: "Yeah honey, he may"

Boris: Okay.

Retribution: YES!

Boris: But don't rape the women, that's rude.

Retribution: fiiine.
I'll settle for brutal murder.

Boris: Be back before 8 then, and have fun.

[i]Retribution is excited and smiles. Retribution rides off into the distance on Kraken. After which he exalts a cheer. [/i]

[center]THE END[/center]

[b][u]Cast:[/u][/b]

[b]Retribution (/Little Boy, Guru):[/b] Retribution
[b]Boris (/Mommy, The Flying Dutchman):[/b] Boo
[b]Kraken:[/b] RiflesAtRecess
[b]Dad:[/b] Random voice from heavens
[/indent]

[right]"That's fucking holarious. Hilarious." [b]Vegeta's Daily Rocker[/b]
"That was random, weird, and yet...totally hilarious." [b]Katana Times[/b]
"I'm afraid you're retarded." [b]Warrior's [strike]Dragon[/strike] Digest[/b][/right]

Enjoy. There might come more of these.[/size]

[Katana]

[size=1][color=royalblue]That was random, weird, and yet...totally hilarious.

I can somehow see this going on as a sort of high-school-theater-night sort of event, mainly due to the fact that, right off the bat, there were thater-esque lines.

I think my favorite line was [i]Boris gives a bit of an annoyed look off to the left of the stage, knowing that it will be hard for Retribution to not tease the Kraken.[/i] We all know that Retri's a kraken fisher in his spare time, so he's used to teasing them. Poor RAR...

[strike]The fact that your name says 'Boris' and not 'Boo' definetly tells me MSN Messenger.[/strike] I would've thought that even if you hadn't told me. =)

I can't wait for more of these. Pardon my idiocy. >.O[/color][/size]

[Goodbye, Face]

[quote name='Katana][size=1][color=royalblue]I think my favorite line was [i]Boris gives a bit of an annoyed look off to the left of the stage, knowing that it will be hard for Retribution to not tease the Kraken.[/i] We all know that Retri's a kraken fisher in his spare time, so he's used to teasing them. Poor RAR...[/color'][/size][/quote]
[size=1][font=arial];_;

I apparently didn't read the fine print. Well, at least I'm a [i]Kraken[/i]! ...Albeit an abused one.[/font][/size]

[Ima]

This is quite possibly the funniest story I have ever got to adventure into in my entire life! Many, Many, Many random parts that add to the overall feel of the story :P

Very interesting indeed

In my mind this story starts very fast, then slows at certain points and gets back up to speed once again.

[2010DigitalBoy]

It very much reminded me of something you'd see in an Adult Swim show, more speciifically 12 Ounce Mouse. It was totally random and strange, but it that way cool. I didn't laugh... but then I don't laugh at 12oz.Mouse, and I still love it. Your story is pretty cool.

[Boo]

[size=1]Well, I'm glad it had positive responses. Even from people who haven't posted in this thread. *thumb up*

To write another one of these it would probably have to be 5:30AM again. <<;[/size]

[Aberinkula]

[quote name='Tical Blue']It very much reminded me of something you'd see in an Adult Swim show, more speciifically 12 Ounce Mouse. It was totally random and strange, but it that way cool. I didn't laugh... but then I don't laugh at 12oz.Mouse, and I still love it. Your story is pretty cool.[/quote]

I agree. Totally random. Just like perfect hair forever. It also didn't make me laugh. But I love it.

[QUOTE=Boo]Retribution: Can we keep himmmm???
PLEEEEEEASE MOMMY?

Boris: Sure, but make sure to feed him. He's YOUR responsibility!

Retribution pulls a sad face.

Retribution: Fiiiiiiine.

Boris: Now what do we say, little boy?[/QUOTE]

Funniest part. 5 thumbs up!!