How far does friendship take you?

[Solo Tremaine]

[color=#503f86]My friend and I have known each other for seventeen years now, and he's currently staying with me as a result of his parents moving away and leaving him rather high-and-dry. Everything's been working out pretty well- he's a fantastic friend and we get along perfectly. Having him here's been amazing.

But lately, due to various work pressures on the both of us (mostly on his part), he's not been eating regularly, and I can't convince him to do otherwise. Not only is he getting quite dangerously thin and lacking of energy, he's also run out of money and is trying to arrange himself so he doesn't have to sell his car (which would only make his situation worse on all counts).

I've been tempted to phone his parents and let them know my concerns; as he said 'they'd only want to help', but he's adamant that he doesn't want them to know and that he can get it all sorted.

As far as I saw it, I had a number of options:

1. Phone his parents and let them know so they can help.
2. Trust him to help himself and do nothing.
3. Leave him to his own devices for a while, but step in if things become catastrophically bad.

I'm gunning for option 3, but it's been really hard to balance my desire to help him out of the situation as soon as possible against the possible consequences of our friendship. To an extent I've always held the belief that 'It doesn't matter if he likes me or not- I just want him to be happy', but that can be a rather destructive view if you go about trying to help and expecting that they'll dislike you for it afterwards.

So... how far do your friendships go? Are you willing to risk everything you share between you just to help them? Have you had any situations where you've agonised over the exact solution to a serious problem of theirs? Did you follow through, and how did it turn out?[/color]

[DeadSeraphim]

[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]I wouldn't risk a friendship for their wellbeing unless it got really nuts. A lot of the time they already know, but don't want to do anything, so forcing them into something through outside intervention can ruin a friendship permanently.[/font][/color][/size]

[Panda]

It's a bit of a sticky situation. When you see a friend in trouble you want to help them. If they are in a situation where they don't see a problem they may take your concern as meddling. On the other hand if something happends and you did nothing to help you are the one who has to deal with the "what if" guilt afterward. Very tough situation.

I personally would voice my concern and keep an eye on him. If things get really bad then seek out further help for him. It makes me think of that television show "Intervention". It's about people who are in self destructive life styles and those who want to help them. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for them even if at that moment they can't see it that way.

Best of luck to you Solo and I hope your friend will begin taking better care of his health.

[kuroinuyoukai]

maybe you should just talk to him and tell him that you are worried. Sounds to me like he doesn't need any more trouble with his parents..

[Boba Fett]

[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]I wouldn't risk a friendship for their wellbeing...[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]

That seems like a rather odd position, although I do see where you're coming from.

It all depends on how serious you think the situation is. If the chances of your friend pulling his life back together are reasonable, then perhaps it'd be prudent to wait a while.

... but if you really are his friend, you shouldn't be afraid to get him outside help, from his parents or elsewhere. You may lose your friendship, but it's better than losing him.

[UchichaBlood]

This is quite hard... well if you worry about him I think 1 but the con is that he might hate you for the rest of your life......or his.... if you choose 3 it might be too late and he might borrow money and he will be in big trobule well my choice is talk to him tell him that he needs some help I hope he doesnt get mad at you

[conpiracymonki]

[size=1]I think it's kinda selfish to be worried about what he'll think about you when his basic health is at risk. Do what you think is best for him regardless of how he'll take it, and expect him to not appreciate what you did for him. Friendship is smelly lol.[/size]

[Sojiro47]

Well....This is a hard situation. In this instance, the only feeling you need for this problem is that of a friend. Sometimes, leaving a friend to his own devices could mean leaving him to his own distruction, and if he is lacking energy, as you said, you should have stepped in a while ago. The second option, trusting him to himself, could be much more destructive than the third choice. But call and telling your friends's parents could seem...like betrayal. If I were in your palce, I'd sit him down and set him strait. You need to let him know that he's falling fast, and he needs to suck up his pride, and get some help. If he doesn't go with it, I would get his back and help him out when he needs it, not when he askes for it.

[Papa Smurf]

I admit, when I read the title of this thread, I figured a quote from Chappelle's Show was in order...the Hall of Fame of Hook-Up History, specifically, how a male friend invented "platonic sleepovers," which led to dry-humping, and eventually, intercourse.

Since that quote isn't relevant here (which is terribly unfortunate, because it's a pretty brilliant little tidbit), I'd say go with #1. Your friend sounds like he's ****ing up pretty bad even now, and though I don't know him personally, I think it's better to let his parents know now rather than let the situation have the potential to deteriorate even further.

[Guest Gun Preacher]

I would go to the ends of the earth for most of my friend and that chance was given to me one day after middle school it was at medina and me and my dude friends were about to get jumped and i took the hits for them so they wouldnt get beat and they did the same for me when i was injured in a fight one day

[Bloody-Chi]

i'd do anything for my friends to have it as good as posible even if i had to take my own life for them to live on, sence my friends is all i can have to balance me in skit world

and i hope they would do the same thing for me..heh...well not risk they'r own life(cous dat's my part :p )... i would allso do the best for them even thoe it risks our friendship

without my friends i'd be a halow shell wit no one to shear my time with , good or bad :D

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

Personally Hugo, I won't tell you what to do in this situation as I don't think anyone's advice will really make any difference in the end. This person is your friend, and friendships mean a lot of everyone, he thinks he parents would help him, and if you think that as well, then it's another option. In the end you can only do what you think is best.

I've been fortunate enough never to have a friend in that situation, and I wish you the best of luck in it's resolution. [/SIZE]

[Andy]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkRed]Well to my friends I may not seem like I would care for them a whole lot. But I would stick up for them if they were in a jam. And I would sacrifice my life for them, but it depends on which friend it is xD Nah, i'm just kidding, I would do anything for my friends, well, mostly anything^^ So, in conclusion class, friends are very important people^^[/COLOR][/SIZE]