Writing Afflicted [PG]

[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]I'm writing again. This is the most recent (of about ten minutes), and it's definitely a song, as all of my previous works have been.

---

I thought the pain had ceased
And that I could feel relieved
But the tear was there to contradict
Everything I had believed.
Nothing I did could save you.
"I can't do this anymore."
No tears are falling now as they might
have fallen once before.

Thought there was nothing better.
Thoughts died a week ago.
Four months wasted in one night.
In a vicious undertow.

I've searched for absolution
But we had no wrong to clear
The only thing you could've done
Would affirm my deepest fear.
I've become apprehensive
Waiting for climactic light.
I'm still exhausted from the note
Poured out to you that night.

And a million words would not suffice
If they were all I had to say to you
And a field of roses bleeding dry
Could never get the feeling through
I know we're linked in such a way
No cuts could ever break.
We're going to make it out alive
If this is what it takes.
I'm burning with your stigmata
And I have to make it stay.
Perfection reached in sharing pain
You'd rather wash away.

---

I feel like I've matured as a writer, if not just a little. I've never been this personal with my lyrics before.

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[2010DigitalBoy]

Very cool! In all honesty, I kinda miss your old style of writing in which I had a hard time understanding things -- but this more easy to understand style is sill good.

This poem flows really well, none of the lines seem awkwardly short or long and you have a working rhyme scheme. I very much enjoy your vocabulary, as you use some slightly big words and similies and stuff all sounding just the way they should. I'm not really good at explaining what I like about poems so I guess I could simply put, I like this poem. A lot. ^^;;